Actress Nia Long is tired of reading blog comments about her marriage status. The Hollywood starlet is jaded by the dopamine-fueled "whirlwind" relationships that often ends in divorce.

“Marriage is not a priority for me. I’m not saying I’ll never do it; It’s just not where we are as a family,” Long, 41, reveals in the August issue of Essence.

“I’ll be at home with my man, having a perfectly loving time, and I’ll see all these comments on some site about how wrong I am for not being married,” she says. “I don’t feel less loved or less loving because I’m not married.”

Admitting she has “never seen a marriage work,” Long is in a different place than most younger women who rely on their emotional "feelings" to dictate their relationships with men.

Long prides herself on reaching a level of maturity as she abandons the dopamine stage of her life.

I’m a lot calmer. Less clingy and demanding., said Long, adding that she doesn't feel anxious about what her baby daddy, Ime Udoka, is doing when he leaves home for long stretches at a time.

"I took it as an opportunity to nest,” she explains.

Already mom to 10-year-old son Massai from a previous relationship, Long and Udoka are parents to 8-month-old Kez Sunday. “Motherhood is not easy, but it’s natural,” she says. “I worked hard to have the career I wanted, but I’ve also been deliberate about my personal life. None of this is a mistake.”

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  • Halle Berry Named Sexiest Woman Alive By Esquire
  • Cover source: BCK

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNDi1mpG5ps&feature=youtube_gdata_player Ace

      moanin... :coffee:

    • VDot

      What a beautiful family. I want to gobble that little baby up. #nobathsalts

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/db78ef2b213fd6958c1aa6773fe9a6dc?s=80 jeniefrumdabloc

      That cutie looks just Like Nia, she has some handsome boys :yes:

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNDi1mpG5ps&feature=youtube_gdata_player Ace

      :thumbsup: to Ms. Long... I think her views on marriage meld well with my own.

    • Mannie

      Beautiful family and mature attitude toward her relationship and her reality...
      :hi: Sup people.

    • FuturedocDonte

      Sandy will be spillin tea on this break up in 3..2.. :coffee:

      Morning All :hey:

    • GAGIRL87

      “I’ll be at home with my man, having a perfectly loving time, and I’ll see all these comments on some site about how wrong I am for not being married,” she says. “I don’t feel less loved or less loving because I’m not married.”
      _________________________________________________________________

      Tell em how you feel Nia :coffee:

    • GAGIRL87

      Jenie :hug:

      Ace :hi:

    • BoogieNites

      married or not, nia's 1 badbish. that is all.

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNDi1mpG5ps&feature=youtube_gdata_player Ace

      in other news:

      TINK TINK GETS TO GO TO THE OLYMPICS

      (CNN) -- Double-amputee sprinter Oscar Pistorius will compete at the Olympic Games after he was named in both the individual 400m and the South Africa 4x400m relay squad for London 2012.

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/db78ef2b213fd6958c1aa6773fe9a6dc?s=80 jeniefrumdabloc

      :tea:

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/db78ef2b213fd6958c1aa6773fe9a6dc?s=80 jeniefrumdabloc

      Gagirl :happy:

    • http://www.nowcasting.com/nasirrahim Nasir Rahim

      CAN GET A REFILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

    • BoogieNites

      :hi: ace, v, manny, doc, ga .. hope every1's feeling well this a.m. :D

    • Ty

      U rude heffas coulda told me yall was going upstairs :rofl:

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNDi1mpG5ps&feature=youtube_gdata_player Ace

      :hi: GA and Boogie...

      Everyone have a nice 4th?

    • Ty

      “I’ll be at home with my man, having a perfectly loving time, and I’ll see all these comments on some site about how wrong I am for not being married,” she says. “I don’t feel less loved or less loving because I’m not married.”
      ________________
      Do u Nia and give them your azz to kiss :coffee:

    • BoogieNites

      myB, ty. i was jus cmn for yall :steer:

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/db78ef2b213fd6958c1aa6773fe9a6dc?s=80 jeniefrumdabloc

      Nasir Rahim says:

      CAN GET A REFILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
      ________________

      That songs make me want to :shank: my ear drums

    • GAGIRL87

      @ BoogieNites GM hun :hi:

    • Bibi

      Morning people :waves:

      Yup, Nia is on point! Completely agree...

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/db78ef2b213fd6958c1aa6773fe9a6dc?s=80 jeniefrumdabloc

      Ty says:

      U rude heffas coulda told me yall was going upstairs
      _______________
      TY we upstairs :hi: :lol:

    • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

      SO IM DOWN BOTTOM AND DONT NOBODY SAY NEW POST.. RUDE PUTAS!! :rolleyes:

    • kingstonn

      forget her views on marriage, can we give her edges a slow clap?
      most celebs don't even know what an edge is. :lol:

    • GAGIRL87

      @ Ace I had a lazy 4th too daymn hot :no: But I picked up bout 3 plates from my peoples houses doe. My lunch gone be straight tuday!!! :woohoo:

    • Mannie

      jeniefrumdabloc says:

      Nasir Rahim says:

      CAN GET A REFILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
      ________________

      That songs make me want to my ear drums
      _________________

      :cosign:

    • Ty

      jeniefrumdabloc says:

      Ty says:

      U rude heffas coulda told me yall was going upstairs
      _______________
      TY we upstairs
      ____________
      :rofl:

    • 69

      Halle should take notes. Nia needs to teach a class on how to be a fcking. A dignified, self sufficient, unattached woman. A lot of heauxs in 2012 might learn something. I :love: you, Nia

      Moanin :coffee:

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/db78ef2b213fd6958c1aa6773fe9a6dc?s=80 jeniefrumdabloc

      Morning, Bibi, Ace, Mannie, Laker
      Fay
      Gagirl
      Boogie
      Ty
      Nasir,
      VDOT
      Future
      and anyone else I missed :waves: :hug:

    • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

      BIBI :2dance:
      KINGSTON :hug:

    • Ty

      kingstonn says:

      forget her views on marriage, can we give her edges a slow clap?
      ________________
      :dead:

      Hows school?

    • 69

      :lol: i meant to say fcking lady.

    • candibfly

      mannie why u ain't tell me we could telework today too?! :crying: why am i here? :mad:

    • Bibi

      :waves: @Jenie Laker Boogie Gagirl

    • Xena68

      Cute boys and that lil one with fat thighs :hug: I could just eat him up.

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/db78ef2b213fd6958c1aa6773fe9a6dc?s=80 jeniefrumdabloc

      Mannie says:

      jeniefrumdabloc says:

      Nasir Rahim says:

      CAN GET A REFILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
      ________________

      That songs make me want to my ear drums
      _________________

      :cosign:
      ___________

      Who gave that heffa a record deal :no: who ever did that needs to be stoned :mad:

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNDi1mpG5ps&feature=youtube_gdata_player Ace

      !*LaKErCHiC@*! says:

      SO IM DOWN BOTTOM AND DONT NOBODY SAY NEW POST.. RUDE PUTAS!! :rolleyes:
      -------------------------------------------------------------------------

      I gots an excuse..... I was nver down dere! :hug: How's my warm K-sa-D-a?

    • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

      JENI :hi:

    • http://www.landofpure.net Fayla aka IWhipIt..WhipItRealGood:)

      i lubs Nia :love: she seems very smart to me. i LUVS me a smart woman :yes:

      dumb women get on my last effin nerve.

      GM Auntie! thanks for the post! :hug:

    • GAGIRL87

      I for one can't wait to get married :crying:

    • candibfly

      i hate that refill song :no:

      fayla! :wave: <--- ur credit card info so i can register for ancestry dot com

    • cougar lover

      You'll see it work if you met me Nia.

    • Mannie

      candibfly says:

      mannie why u ain’t tell me we could telework today too?! why am i here?
      ________________________
      Sorry boo i cant telework my office doesnt have an agreement with the union yet so i dont even look for the annoucements anymore...

    • Smonae80

      Good Morning everyone :waves:
      Cute family

    • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

      ACE :kiss: IM NICE AND WARM.. NICE AND WARM SIR :grin: HOW WAS THE 4TH? *HANDS U UR TO GO PLATE**

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Birdshu Bird

      Good for her. People need to do what works for them.

    • GAGIRL87

      @ BiBi fellow leo lioness :hi:

    • BoogieNites

      "None of this is a mistake" mmmhmmmm, dat bish bad :yes:

    • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

      OH AND NIA IF I WAS A LESB FO REALZ FO REALZ U COULD GET IT :wink: :lick: FAWK A HALLE BERRY U IS SESSY TO ME BISH!

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/db78ef2b213fd6958c1aa6773fe9a6dc?s=80 jeniefrumdabloc

      GAGIRL87 says:

      I for one can’t wait to get married :crying:
      _______________

      I want to be married one day :yes: but It has to be with the right person, so I am patiently waiting for him :yes:

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNDi1mpG5ps&feature=youtube_gdata_player Ace

      !*LaKErCHiC@*! says:

      ACE :kiss: IM NICE AND WARM.. NICE AND WARM SIR :grin: HOW WAS THE 4TH? *HANDS U UR TO GO PLATE**
      -------------------------------------------------------------------------

      You got your phone? or access to email?

    • candibfly

      mannie what?! that's insance. let's write a letter. iono who we writin it too but is that really the point? can ur office step into 2012?! #rude

    • Danielle

      Nia is beautiful and her kids are adorable. The oldest one looks just like her. I say as long as you and your significant other are happy with how things are who cares what others think!!

    • kingstonn

      lakesssssss! :yahoo:

      @ Ty :waves:
      I'm done with the lecture part! :danban: i just have to do a year of rotations and then I'll be done.
      it's kinda surreal to know ill have an abbreviation after my name :cry:

    • lovezoe

      So this where we at? Oh Fay and I are not here for the Elle Varner slander. Nope. Not at all.

    • kingstonn

      omg. i used too many smilies. :kona:

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNDi1mpG5ps&feature=youtube_gdata_player Ace

      I feel like starting a marriage debate...but don't know how i want to do it yet... :think:

    • GAGIRL87

      @ Jenie you don't like Elle Varner? I think she has a nice voice!!!!

    • FuturedocDonte

      :waiting: On Sandra to post about Evelyn Hozada and Ochocinco's wedding yesterday

    • http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?ref=profile&id=1335451522 therapist1911

      If that works for her than I approve.

    • http://www.landofpure.net Fayla aka IWhipIt..WhipItRealGood:)

      :shocked:

      I WILL NOT STAND FOR THE ELLE VARNER DISSING! :rules:

      :chase:

    • Bibi

      Ace says:

      I feel like starting a marriage debate…but don’t know how i want to do it yet…

      :lol:

    • Mannie

      candibfly says:

      mannie what?! that’s insance. let’s write a letter. iono who we writin it too but is that really the point? can ur office step into 2012?! #rude
      _____________________

      It kills me!!!!!!!!!!! I mean we are the only office in the organization that doesnt allow it...

    • Ty

      kingstonn says:

      lakesssssss!

      @ Ty
      I’m done with the lecture part! i just have to do a year of rotations and then I’ll be done.
      it’s kinda surreal to know ill have an abbreviation after my name
      _______________
      :applause: Making moves and shyt love it :cheers:

    • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

      ACE HIT ME ON MY :yahoo:
      KINGSTON U ESSMART SESSY BISH U! :cheer: U CAN DO IT!!

    • Danielle

      @ Jeniefrumdabloc

      LOL I like Elle Varner. Her raspy voice is different and her lyrics are good. Maybe that's why I like her idk. You should listen to her EP Conversational lush.

    • GAGIRL87

      50

      jeniefrumdabloc says:

      GAGIRL87 says:

      I for one can’t wait to get married
      _______________

      I want to be married one day but It has to be with the right person, so I am patiently waiting for him
      ________________________________________________________________

      @ Jenie GOD already has BOTH our husbands picked out bew :grill:

    • BoogieNites

      i love how we say goodmorning/ hi to each other like 80 times on here :hahaha: MORNING ! :waves:

    • Bibi

      @FAyla

      :happy: How do u do ma'am??

    • lady_cn

      Beautiful family. If she, her kids and her man are happy who are we to judge. :shrugs:

      Nia (as if you are reading this) live your life girl.

      Mornin' all! :waves:

    • prynsexxx

      Danielle says:

      I say as long as you and your significant other are happy with how things are who cares what others think!!
      ____________________________

      :cosign: :fistbump:

      What works for me and mine, may not work for you and yourn.

      :thumbsup: to that yella on her. Looks mahvelous!

    • http://www.landofpure.net Fayla aka IWhipIt..WhipItRealGood:)

      lovezoe says:

      So this where we at? Oh Fay and I are not here for the Elle Varner slander. Nope. Not at all.

      :hahaha:

      u gyat damb right Bew! :nono: :chase:

    • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

      BOOGIE :lol: DONT WE..OLD FRIENDLY FUKAS!

    • Ty

      FuturedocDonte says:

      On Sandra to post about Evelyn Hozada and Ochocinco’s wedding yesterday
      __________
      Was Chad even there :waiting:

    • BoogieNites

      Danielle says:

      @ Jeniefrumdabloc

      LOL I like Elle Varner. Her raspy voice is different and her lyrics are good. Maybe that’s why I like her idk. You should listen to her EP Conversational lush.

      ^^^^^
      werd. she's ahhite to me (as in good :yes: ).

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/db78ef2b213fd6958c1aa6773fe9a6dc?s=80 jeniefrumdabloc

      BoogieNites says:

      Danielle says:

      @ Jeniefrumdabloc

      LOL I like Elle Varner. Her raspy voice is different and her lyrics are good. Maybe that’s why I like her idk. You should listen to her EP Conversational lush.

      ^^^^^
      werd. she’s ahhite to me (as in good :yes: ).
      _________________

      :stop: nah that's ok anyhoo :newpost:

    • candibfly

      i guess it happened, someone RT on twitter and he wrote WIFE (all caps) and the profile pic was of two hands showing wedding bands :shrugs:

    • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

      :offtopic: I WANT TO ANNOUNCE THAT MY LITTLE MAN HAS REACH HIS MESSICAN ESSTATUS!! :yahoo: HIM LEARND HOW TO SWIM THIS WEEKEND :wail: IT WAS BEUUUTIFUL!! :yes: HE WAS SOO ESSITED.. LIKE FISH IN THE WATER!

    • lovezoe

      Something tells me those two really got married. Now, whether it is legal in America or not is another story.

    • BoogieNites

      Ace says:

      I feel like starting a marriage debate…but don’t know how i want to do it yet…

      ^^^^^^^^^^^

      OH EM GEE. get out me head yo :mad: :)

    • prynsexxx

      FuturedocDonte says:

      On Sandra to post about Evelyn Hozada and Ochocinco’s wedding yesterday
      _______________________________

      Sandy didn't even wish us a Happy 4th yesterday. I don't know what has gotten into her here lately. :think:

    • candibfly

      i just don't like the song, i be like damn get up and get a refill then, they free anyway :rolleyes:

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNDi1mpG5ps&feature=youtube_gdata_player Ace

      (my $.02)

      Elle is refreshing ....the current pallet of R&B female vocalist are getting boring played and too comfortable with what they are doing...Elle might not reach some of thier plateau's but as of right now i can :thumbsup: Conversation Lush Mixtape... (Fav song is El where she is rapping)

      :coffee:

    • Xena68

      Oh and Nia stop reading those damn comments only setting yourself up live your life how you want and forget the haters.

    • Bibi

      Congrats Lakes

      :party:

    • lovezoe

      My fave Elle Varner song is WTF. Real or fake, them curls are to die for! I think she needs better stage presence, but give her some time. She WILL go far. She higher on the charts than some other folks.

    • FuturedocDonte

      :newpost:

    • http://www.landofpure.net Fayla aka IWhipIt..WhipItRealGood:)

      :cuss: :mad: these mf's is REALLY here to WORK todamnday :shank:

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Birdshu Bird

      GAGIRL87 says:

      I for one can’t wait to get married
      *******************

      I hope you never let anyone convince you that is a bad thing. Of course black women have to get comfortable with not being single because black men refuse to marry them, but there is nothing wrong with wanting that. It's natural. To be perfectly honest, I'm only half confinced that Nia believes what she's saying. If dude asked, would she turn him down?

    • kingstonn

      can i get a reeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee fillllllllllll? :whistle:
      that song is catchy as hell. i keep singing it at work. :lol:

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNDi1mpG5ps&feature=youtube_gdata_player Ace

      !*LaKErCHiC@*! says:

      :offtopic: I WANT TO ANNOUNCE THAT MY LITTLE MAN HAS REACH HIS MESSICAN ESSTATUS!! :yahoo: HIM LEARND HOW TO SWIM THIS WEEKEND :wail: IT WAS BEUUUTIFUL!! :yes: HE WAS SOO ESSITED.. LIKE FISH IN THE WATER!
      ------------------------------------------------------------------------

      Babe ...it's the cubans that are the swimmers..he needs to learn hurdles for fence jumpin to get his Messican status.. #slightlyinsensitive

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNDi1mpG5ps&feature=youtube_gdata_player Ace

      I really dont want to leave this post for the fooloery up above... :coffee:

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Birdshu Bird

      Xena68 says:

      Oh and Nia stop reading those damn comments only setting yourself up live your life how you want and forget the haters.
      **********************

      I was wondering how they were having a perfectly loving time while she was on the internet.

    • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

      ACE BABE.. HIM LEARND THAT BEFORE THE SWIMMING.. U KNOW "THROW THAT MOFUKA IN THE WATER.. LET HIM LEARN.." HE KNOWS HOW TO DO CANNON BALLS.. BELLY FLOPS.. BACK FLIPS.. WHILE STILL LEARNING HOW TO SWIM :champ:

    • kingstonn

      @ ace
      Mexicans actually cross a lil river to get over here. :lol:

    • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

      BIBI GIRL HE WAS SOO ESSITED TO FINNALY BE ABLE TO FOLLOW MY AZZ IN THE 8FT.. HE WAS LIKE A FUKN DOLPHIN JUMPING IN AND OUT BISH LEGS ARMS NECK BACK IS SORE.. :ashamed:

    • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

      KINGSTON RIO GRANDE.. :yes: AND 90% OF US LIVE IN CALI.. SO WE ARE ONE WITH THE WATER :lol:

    • MZ_CARAM3L74

      I agree w/Nia,she's really on point w/how I feel. Mernin' Roses! :hi:

    • GAGIRL87

      89

      Bird says:

      GAGIRL87 says:

      I for one can’t wait to get married
      *******************

      I hope you never let anyone convince you that is a bad thing. Of course black women have to get comfortable with not being single because black men refuse to marry them, but there is nothing wrong with wanting that. It’s natural. To be perfectly honest, I’m only half confinced that Nia believes what she’s saying. If dude asked, would she turn him down?
      __________________________________________________________________

      EXACTLY she wouldn't turn him down, who wouldn't want someone you LOVE to ask your hand in marriage? :shrugs:

    • MsDivaRo

      Ty says:

      U rude heffas coulda told me yall was going upstairs
      _______________
      :yes:

    • KayCeiSoul

      100% agreed Nia. :coffee:

      In the bible days all it took was to give a man a lil' sum'sum, and y'all was husband and wife. All this other extra stuff may very well be for economic & tax purposes.

    • AllNYC

      I ain't never seen the sun rise in China either, but I'm pretty sure it does. Sometimes we have to look beyond the narrow perspective of our own lives to see other possibilities.
      Just because Nia hasn't seen marriage work that doesn't mean it isn't working for people every day.
      Then again I live among many examples of long standing strong marriages - not perfect marriages, but where the faith, love, and commitment is still real years later.

    • sassyshe

      I know how she feels people be looking at you crazy when you that you dont care or want to be married. Too many women out here wait around for a man to complete them rather than one to complement them, thats the reason marriages nowadays dont work

    • pointhimout

      I'm still waiting to see marriage work also, on average. There's always an exception or two. I'm not ignorant to that fact, but generally speaking, marriage doesn't appear to work. I think as you grow older and learn from experience(s), the dopamine SR speaks of does wear off. You're no longer doing things or being in positions cuz it's what society has dictated to you, or cuz you snapped the hell out of it and asked "wtf am I doing?"

      Love your pets, but marriage is a business. I heard this in my 20's and thought naw, you have to love, yada yada yada. eff that. it's business first.

      Look at the chubby lil baby.

    • Lovely One

      “I’ll be at home with my man, having a perfectly loving time, and I’ll see all these comments on some site about how wrong I am for not being married,” she says. “I don’t feel less loved or less loving because I’m not married.”
      ---------------------------------------------------------------------
      Lauryn Hill felt the same way too :coffee:

    • http://www.nowcasting.com/nasirrahim Nasir Rahim

      Good Morning @Jeanie :))

    • Natasha38

      :hi: Ace

    • yallcrazy

      It’s just not where we are as a family,” Long, 41, reveals in the August issue of Essence.

      :shrug: Well, I wish yall better then (really I do).... :coffee:

      OAN:that lil baby just looks so friggin cute & scrumptious!

    • Daisy

      #teammarriage :cheer: I would rather marry than burn. That being said I don't knock those who don't want to get married for whatever reason. If you like it I love it. People who don't want to get married shouldn't!

    • Ididntreallymeanit

      Nia's just saying that because dude hasn't asked for her hand in marriage, if he does it will be a different story.

    • Carmez79

      well, unlike nia long, i have seen marriage work. and please know that not every relationship is a dopamine fueled relationship sandra sheesh. its depends on what you you seen growing up. plenty of marriages work when both people are realistic. when i was young i thought all you needed was love and now i know love is compliment to everything else. its takes more. when you realize and understand what it takes, marriage will work. maybe she doesnt realized that. if shes happy then thats her business. if he asked her i bet she wouldnt say no lets just leave it as is.