Renee Zellweger is Happy You Noticed Her New Face

At least she transformed into an age appropriate looking white woman. She doesn’t look like an alien like most celebs – just drastically different. If she likes it, I love it.

And now, this weeks episode of “The Courtship of Joey’s Father”…

I took his keys and told his a$$ to WALK to school since the dean called me to say that his monkey a$$ has been coming late everyday WITH a truck full of people.

She tells me that everyone has noticed a “difference” in him since he’s gotten himself a girlfriend. I explained to her that IF I ever got a call from school, it was likely because Joey was clowning in class, never because he just decided to say eff it. I don’t go too hard on clowning because I was a clown, so if it wasn’t too serious, I just cuss him out and go on about my business.

I inform the dean at the school that Joey has picked a broad from the other side of town and that he’s not the kid who hangs with thugs as a private school educated kid who knows his responsibilities and the requirements of my “hiyesss” (in my Trina Braxton voice) – she said she knew that and that’s why she called me. He’s with the wrong crowd and the difference in evident as he’s trying to prove to be “down” and she’s afraid this gal and her crew will get him into trouble soon.

I told him that BECAUSE he never told me that he was picking up a car full of thugs in addition to his blue-haired gal, I was taking his keys and didn’t care if the entire lot walked. (His broad doesn’t live ANYWHERE near the school, so now she has to get a ride from HER family and we don’t live anywhere near a bus line, so you can’t bus to school)

I told him that I didn’t appreciate the fact that I fill up his tank and give him $60 a week for allowance and he’s using all of his gas going back and forth to her house, PASSING school to get to her and then doubling back and her parents didn’t at LEAST make a good faith effort to give him a few bucks every now and then as a “thanks” since they no longer have to get her to, OR from school. They dont’ even have to offer him a $20 every week… what about ONCE? It wouldn’t bother me so much.

He tells me on Saturday, “My girls dad said she’s going to give me $30, I’m going to get it.” I was like, “cool”… now I don’t feel so angry about them making ME responsible for HER getting to class.

He comes back and I wanted to see the coins.
“Where’s your money?”
“Her dad was gone when I got there, he had to run errands.”
(side eye)

Monday, “Where are your coins?”
“My girl only gave me ten.”
“Where’s the ress?”
“I don’t know. I guess that’s all she had.”
(On 10)
“The f*ck you mean you guess that’s all she had, Joey? I know you THINK you’re in love, but I refuse to allow you to let anyone make a fool out of you while I have some say so! You take her to school and use up your ENTIRE allowance running her and her friends around all week and all weekend and by Monday, you’re waiting on Friday morning again – DUMBA$$! Meanwhile, they’re riding and chilling for free, but it’s costing ME and then AFTER you’ve spent all your money playing host, you come home and ravage MY Lil Debbie’s and Oreo’s and stuff! WHY did she only have $10 for you?”

“I guess that’s all she had.”
“If I give you $30 to give to your teacher and you give her $10… give me one reason why, “I guess that’s all he had” would be the way the teacher would rationalize that shortage after she KNOWS I gave you the whole thing…”
“I don’t know…”
“So, you don’t know that this broad stuck you for $20 AFTER you pick her a$$ up every day… with gas that I provide?!?!”

He lookin at me like, “How DARE you say something about my broad!”

(On ether!)

“I’ll tell you what to make SURE that you don’t take her to school anymore, run me those keys – YOUR a$$ will walk! Let’s see how far that $20 gets her! I’m pissed that I’m pissed, but YOU”RE not pissed, dummy!”

So, yesterday, I call him to say I’m coming home early. (big mistake) I get in the house, they sittin on the sofa, hands clasped together like they readin’ the word. (why she here, Ike?)

I go upstairs and inspect his room… why is this broads Hello Kitty backpack on your recliner? Why is the bed remade and the comfortor crooked? Why are there TWO gatorade bottles up here, but y’all down stairs watching Little House on the Prairie?

Is Joey gettin’ hits?

And she’s a damn thug too… from what I hear, the REASON she was at my house until 9 last night is because her own mama won’t give her a key to her house, so she can’t go home until her mama gets there.

There’s a reen a MOTHER locks a GIRL out of the house until she gets home.

Actually, it’s worse….