Jessie and D’Lila Combs

Socialite Kim Porter sent her 12-year-old twins, Jessie and D’Lila, off to middle school wearing the exact same wardrobe.

An Instagram.com photo she posted of the twins wearing grey cropped hoodies and blue plaid skirts prompted the question: at what age is it appropriate for twins to stop dressing alike?

Child experts say dressing twins alike is harmful to their emotional health and well-being because the children often lack identities of their own when they get older.

Experts say a failure to recognize the potential danger of romanticizing same-aged children is problematic.

Child expert Joan A. Friedman is both a mother of twins and a twin herself. In her book Emotionally Healthy Twins, she writes that parents are doing same-aged children a disservice by dressing them alike.

“When the longing to see twins in a romanticized way prevents parents and others from seeing them as individuals, twins feel as if they are merely playing a role in someone else’s fantasy.”

Friedman said allowing children to express their individuality through clothing choices is an important part of child development. She said children need clear boundaries between them. Dressing children alike causes those boundaries to blur.

"Clothes, like names, matter because they are an overt and symbolic representation of identity. When they are matchy-matchy, the message is not one of individuality."

Freidman says twins who are forced to share everything often feel they have no control over their lives.

The wardrobe, Friedman explains, is part of the “identity-building process."

At 12 years old, it's time for Kim Porter and Sean Combs to let their twins express their individuality now before it's too late.

 

  • xenaD

    My boy/girl twins does not like to even be color coordinated... brats! ??

  • datjerk

    At that age, they chose to dress alike.

    SN: lord, I remember when Kim was pregnant with them. Smh

  • Tony

    Beautiful little girls!!

  • Coy little wink

    Looks like a uniform...and I'm sure they picked their outfits its middle school

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Have you seen Kim Porter's Instagram. They dress alike every day.

  • Renee26

    Let the kids choose... I hope they pick out their own clothes by that age

  • MoniquetheGeek

    Child expert Joan A. Friedman
    ______________
    ....says teenage twins should dress alike if they CHOOSE to. *Fixed it for you.*

  • Soda

    I like that their parents didn't give them sound-alike names.

  • Fire & Ice

    You're kids aren't having it ???

  • millz

    As a parent of twins I stopped when I realized how much money I could save buying one of each different colors but same design... my kids let me know when they were around 5 they didn’t want to dress alike...they are like night and day... I saw how different their personalities were at a young age and weren’t going to push the whole “twin” life on them... the girls however look like they enjoy... I know grown twins that still dress alike soooo to each their own!

  • missmiami305

    Interesting. I think at some point parents should stop dressing twins alike so they can establish their own identity. I don’t have twins tho lol. My daughter’s are almost two years apart and I dress them similarly. Never alike.

  • Oretta Grace Smith

    The Parents Are The Experts when it comes to what Their Children wear!!! How Can someone Outside of Your House Know More about Your Children, if You Are Really A Parent?

  • hi-liter

    Maybe “they” Want to dress alike.

  • hi-liter

    Do you think it’s because they aren’t the same sex?

  • Oretta Grace Smith

    Beautiful girls!!!

  • RaginB

    I'ma twin and my parents dressed us alike until the first year of middle school then we had to develop our own style.

  • Being bad is way more fun

    Hummmmm a 12 y/o now in days dressing in something they dont want to wear .. Im not buying that lol

  • bemetoo

    kids are off limit...but thankfully they rich cause.....

  • n1kk1a
  • n1kk1a

    My twins love it, but that’s their pre-k uniform, but they love coordinating colors!

  • Yardgirl

    Awww they are soooo cute!! I love kids in uniforms ??

  • MSGREENMINUSTHEENVY

    I am a fraternal twin. My twin and I dressed alike until we were about 13 per our Queen, we loved it and as adults we sometimes show up to church with the same pant or top on. We're 31 now and we laugh like kids every time. We surprisingly buy the same items and randomly wear it on the same days. Ain't nothing wrong with it at all. She knows she tip and I know I am mik (nicknames), No identity issues whatsoever. Leave the kids alone!

  • Malcom Flex

    Sis...remove this photo of these kids. It's not safe and people do things with kid's photos, bad things!!!

  • Malcom Flex

    I think the mother does it for shine, 'my twins' etc.

  • Munchosgirl

    Sounds like my mom and my auntie...fraternal twins..

  • MSGREENMINUSTHEENVY

    Adorbs!! They sound so cute! ??

  • Munchosgirl

    You ever thought that THEY may like dressing alike?

  • Munchosgirl

    The twin connection used to be creepy to us growing up...my mom would mention Auntie, the phone would ring...they have both retired and moved to Ocala, Florida now...same community!

  • Alextra Ballard

    Mind ya own bidness,her churn,her discretion!

  • Munchosgirl

    Now my little brothers(fraternal as well) they don't dress, act or look alike....my mom never really dressed them alike, maybe same style different color...very seldom did she dress them just alike.

  • Anunnaki, in A twilight Zone

    "Child experts say dressing twins alike is harmful to their emotional health and well-being"

    Can someone tell these so call experts, to go find out why these parents are telling their sons, they can be girls, and girls can be boys
    go find charlize therone, retarded azz

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    If THEY choose to dress alike, that's a problem. They are individual human beings who should express their own unique individuality. If they haven't done so by now, it's too late.

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    You do realize their pictures are all over the Internet?

  • Leo Jeanette

    One of the Les Twins, Laurent, mentioned in an interview in reference to Beyoncé’s infants, to not dress twins the same after age two....

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Too adorable! ?

  • MSGREENMINUSTHEENVY

    My family finds it alittle creepy too. My lil nephew sometimes looks at us twice because he forgets were twins often but we do look a lot alike. He'll sometimes call me mommy and when I tell him I'm not mommy he looks shocked like I said a bad word. Lol! So funny!

  • Alextra Ballard

    OFF TOPIC: BABY JORDAN FOUND DEAD...THINKS MOTHER IS THE CULPRIT

  • SumthinSweeter

    They really don't even look identical anymore in that pic. But omg, thery are 12 so I'm almost pretty sure they have lots of input on how they prefer to dress at this point. Everybody is a damn "expert" these days ?

  • ?? Kari ?????????

    I agree. What makes people like Friedman an expert anyways?

  • Meme

    I personally think it's cute there's nothing wrong with it if I had twins i would do the same, "experts" best to worry about when kids identify as a different gender that's what they need to put their "expertise" to

  • Meme

    Oh do get a grip, soon you and so called experts will be saying they need surgery to change their faces coz they look alike! ( They are very pretty girl's by the by)

  • justlooking

    Who cares. My neighbor has twins. They attend private school and wear a uniform and when not in school they have the same clothing in different colors. Aside from twins are notoriously known for having odd behaviors. I got the time to elaborate. YT folks dont have ish else to do.

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    A recent study shows teenagers "come out" as transgendered to gain peer approval and for attention. The study showed all of the teens who claimed to be transgendered had been previously diagnosed with at least one psychological disorder.

  • Meme

    Coz what? Daddy's rich mummy s good looking girls are both in abundance!

  • Meme

    Well said i also said same thing before i read your comment

  • Lady_Elle

    EXACTLY!

  • LadyBug18

    You do realize they are in school uniforms RIGHT SANDRA. You know they are dressed like every other student with the exception of the sweat shirts which happen to be part of a color specific dress code! I mean not to burst bubble of misery or anything.

  • LadyBug18

    LOL so now her children are at risk for gender identify confusion because they dress alike.......you are one of the best bloggers ever Sandra. Pure comedy

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Please show me where I wrote anything about gender confusion.

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    No misery here, hun. When you get a moment, please do check out their mom's Instagram page for photos of them dressing alike every day of their lives.

  • LadyBug18

    You didn't use the words gender confusion BUT can you please tell me how being transgendered isn't a form of gender uncertainty? That is exactly what transgendered is....right?!?

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Are we reading the same post? Show me where I mentioned "gender uncertainty".

  • AmericanDream

    Oh Sandra ! Lol. Your subtle come backs are so spicy and poignant

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    This post is about allowing children to develop their own individual identities - NOT sexual identities.

  • stacee

    Just clothes,no big deal.

  • LadyBug18

    I took your advice. April 20th, May 5, February 26, December 6, July 23...and so on were all occasions that I noticed they were NOT dressed alike "every day of their lives." Don't challenge someone to something unless you are CORRECT.

  • LadyBug18

    Poignancy--not quite. But spicy most certainly...she is very very SALTY.

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    On very rare occasions they wore different colors. But you must admit they dress alike 95% of the time.

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    It is a big deal. How would you like it if you were forced to dress like someone else every day of your life? Don't you want to express your own individual style?

  • Munchosgirl

    My mom and Auntie are very different....light skin...dark skin.....my little brothers as well...no mixing anyone up.

  • LadyBug18

    I most certainly do admit that fact. I can't however say that I agree with the opinions of these "child experts".

  • LadyBug18

    You mentioned "transgendered" in a response earlier. The one I replied to about teens coming out. I thought you were insinuating that because they dress alike and "experts" say dressing them alike causes psychological disorders...they would be more prone to being "transgendered". But hey I must have been completely wrong because clearly you would never insinuate any such thing...lol

  • leapyearpisces

    Sandra, I agree with you on this one. I always had a gut feeling while, I was pregnant, that I was going to have boy/girl twins, HOWEVER, I said that if I happen to have same sex twins, rather identical or fraternal, that I was not going to dress them alike, because it's important that twins are seen as individuals, not as a unit, and dressing same sex twins the same way, in MY OPINION, says to them that they ONLY have value as a UNIT, and once again, in MY OPINION, that fosters co-dependency, which is NOT HEALTHY in any relationship. That is why most schools will purposely place twins in separate classes when in school, because they understand the importance of twins creating their OWN identity outside of one another. When my twins were younger, I used to get how are the twins? But I would reply leap 1 and leap 2 are fine. I did that so people could get the message they are not "the twins", they are both separate individuals. Also one thing, in the beginning when they would have birthday parties, people would sing: "happy birthday dear leap1 and leap2". After their 3rd. birthday I told people when we sing happy birthday, we would be singing it TWICE-one time for Leap 1, and a second time for Leap two. People would be suprised to know that twins and multiple's have a lot of hang-ups with being multiples. They love being multiples, but like anything else in life, it has it's pros and cons, and one of the main cons is that people don't respect them as individuals. My twins, have expressed this, as well as some of their friends that are twins. The OVERALL highschool area in the Durham county district where I live will have the HIGHEST NUMBER of twins for the graduating class of 2020. I think its like 15-20 sets, so I personally know a lot of twins other than mine.

  • Uniquely Made

    At what age should twins stop dressing alike? When they have an issue with it.

  • MsPam

    Maybe that’s their school uniforms?!?????

  • leapyearpisces

    You are good, mama. I got your ole SHIESTY / SHADY ASS on this one. LMAO....you a SHADY ass, but your ARE CORRECT on this one - I guess I go play the lottery. LOLOLOLOL. Nah, all jokes aside- THIS ONE you called it right / correctly.

  • Kayke

    My twin cousins loved dressing alike while my twin friends didn’t. Parents aren’t forcing twins to dress alike. If the siblings have an issue with it, then the parent should honor their request to not dress alike, it’s that simple.

  • Jethro

    Shouldn't we be talking about the failure that is tRump?

  • free

    they're 12. if they're dressed alike, it's because they want to be.

  • Kimocha

    My question is... Why would Kim and Diddy name one twin a boys name (Jessie James)... and the other a girls name (D'Lila Star)? Is this some of that Hollyweird isht?

  • Faithz

    I heard that, I am from a Twin Family, there are three sets of twins in my Boo Family, and some of the twins children have twins, and dressing alike is something that twins do. I think twins just grows out of dressing alike often times on their own, Just saying.

  • http://welfareinfo.org angrysolo

    the little boys pictured above should be more upset with their parents dressing them as phemales...

  • Faithz

    I sure did hear that, so true
    still shaking my head.

  • Faithz

    Kim often times look high as a kite in many pictures to me.

  • Faithz

    I hear You, One of the set of twins in our family was identical, so much that one put a blonde patch in the back of her hair so we could tell the difference.

  • Faithz

    These Kim, Diddy Twins have got it made from now on, because We know Kim , and Diddy will make for sure they have only the best that life has to offer.

  • RICHIE_RICH

    I don’t see the big deal! Most likely it’s the twins themselves that wanna dress alike ?????

  • Faithz

    Off Topic,,, I am looking at how cute the twins are , and all, I still can't understand why Diddy never Married their Mamma, Oh well what ever floats their boat. I was just thinking out aloud.

  • Faithz

    Great Question.

  • Carrington

    I highly doubt that girls, at this age, are dressing alike because they're being forced to. Maybe they dress alike because they like it, at which point it's nobody's business... not that it's anyone's business either way. Where is the evidence that their mother FORCED them to dress alike? When I had on something my mother put me in that I hated, when someone pulled out a camera, it SHOWED - wasn't no smiling until I took it off.

  • Connie

    I wonder too. Guess he fell in love with Cassie. Saw him on Wendy talking about her, and I think he's a lil obsessed....like Kanye with Kim

  • Connie

    I think he said it was ode to some western movie he loved.

  • Trace da Ace

    well when I was back in high school it was a set of twin boys who dressed alike all the way up to graduation...once we all graduated and folks went off to college ....they stopped that shit. Its a life choice if they want to stop or not...thats dem....moving on--->

    oh...and cute plaid skirts....

  • LYRICS

    I like u!

  • Quitedeliteful

    There are a set of twins in my neighborhood who are in their early twenties and still dressing alike! They even have the same hairstyles and backpacks! I love it for babies but it seems so silly after a certain age -- unless you are at a twin convention...

  • Kimocha

    Well I won't be surprised if Jessie James turns butch one day... Kinda like Willow and Jaden switching roles...lol

  • Malcom Flex

    Yes she does!

  • Malcom Flex

    Those two twins above, the girl and boy are all over the net? Why??

  • Connie

    when Kim was pregnant with them. Smh
    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    Elaborate on the Smh part

  • imright

    they only dress alike in some photoshoots...on reg days they wear what they want ????? (i follow Diddy)

  • imright

    ive always wondered why they choose those names for the girls...Jessie & D’lila

  • MSGREENMINUSTHEENVY

    I love that idea! That must have been so cute to see!!

  • Dowoop

    Most likely those kids are in private school and they all wearing the same uniform anyways.

  • datjerk

    Theres nothing to elaborate on.

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    SMH...Dressing twins alike as children is cute but when you get past a certain age it looks kinda creepy especially if its everyday...Parents with twins dont dress them alike unless you want them to turn into the Clermont Twins...Chile...

  • nicfury420

    They were named after puffy and kims grandmothers.
    (I read these blogs too much ?.) Lol

  • CashleyBankz

    I have identical boys & they wanted to stop dressing the same around the age of 5. I was so sad lol because twins are super interesting & dressing a like really plays it up. Plus damnit I felt like I earned it with the stretch marks I got ? but it is true it takes away from their individuality. People still call them “the twins” sometimes instead of their individual names. That along with constantly being called the wrong name can cause resentment. So I let them dress how they wanted. They are 15 now & still don’t dress alike but they love the attention they get from being twins especially from the girls. They are almost 6 foot with big hair, almost look like the Les twins. I knew a set who are 30 and have been dressing the same since high school. ????? To each their own. For celebrities twins are a basically an accessory now a days so again, it’s for the attention and shock factor

  • CashleyBankz

    Yup around 5 is when my twins asked to dress differently & I was devastated lol

  • sjames

    me n my cousin are 2yrs apart n we were dressed alike until I was 11 and she was 13 lol

  • MJF

    loll

  • MJF

    it seems so silly after a certain age -- unless you are at a twin convention...
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    LOL!

  • MJF

    Same reason why he still didn't marry Cassie...

  • Reina1718

    I have twins & their Dr told me the same thing & said to let them get their own toys instead of the same exact toy so they can be their own individual...but i dont want them to be their own individual, i want them to be twins lol but they are over dressing alike anyway lol

  • Reina1718

    I feel the same way about mine lol like y not the dressing alike is the whole point lol but i get it

  • Reina1718

    Lol

  • Reina1718

    Yeah mine have to wear uniform but since they want their own individuality rite now one will wear the skirt & the other pants lol

  • Judge Mental Will

    Im sure their parents didn't force them to dress a like, There's tons of pictures of them dressing differently so whats the issue?

  • Faithz

    Yep.

  • Faithz

    I suppose so.

  • Faithz

    Oh my, and I wonder if he's Cassie baby father. We never hear nothing about that.

  • Faithz

    So right on, Auntee.

  • Faithz

    Yes it was, they was the cutest, they are grown, and still cute, But Pleasing Plump, know what I mean,,

  • Faithz

    Cuteness Over Load.

  • softness1

    Shit my mother used to do that to me and my sister and my sister is 6 years older than me!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha.. That shit went down until my sister was like 13 and she had enough.. Most of our childhood pictures are of us dressed alike... That shit is ridiculous.. my moms was bugging...lol

  • Latisaj

    Funny Sandra when I went to private schools I looked like most of the girls there as well in fact we all normally had on the same thing.. It's called a uniform believe it or not!!

  • imright

    ohhhh. ?

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Thank you for sharing!

  • MSGREENMINUSTHEENVY

    LOL! Yes i know what you mean! Thats awesome to see, I don't know any adult twins besides my sister and I.
    I can't wait to grow older and plump with my twin.

  • MSGREENMINUSTHEENVY

    LOL!! Get Out!!! Were you guys like the same height, features similar?

  • bigred917 getsthangspopn

    my mom is an identical twin...i've never seen her and my aunt dress alike; except in OLD family photos of them as kids...i recently found out HOW much twins don't like being referred to as "twin" by an associate...my issue with these young ladies being dressed alike is that if Chance is around, she is dressed like them also...i NEVER saw the need for her to be dressed like them...kinda creepy... https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/45da71ddd6e6a231c6eff03011baa3ce69ef8e5e8c77ee45dd9d8bc889e6ff4b.jpg

  • sjames

    Lol same height. We had the hairstyles down to the socks the same. It was so bad when she graduated HS a year ahead of me ppl thought I had failed cus they thought we were the same age lol

  • MSGREENMINUSTHEENVY

    LOLOLOL!!! Hilarious story!

  • Queen B

    Thank God I have a twin brother lol

  • disqus_FW7pCIigCY

    WOW...do you really think Kim is dressing her 12 YEAR OLD TWINS alike...They're able to dress themselves and I'm sure at 12 YEARS OLD they're dressing the same because they want to.....what's wrong with that...LAWD FOLK JUDGE THE MOST UNIMPORTANT THINGS AND MAKE IT A MEDICAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM....THEY'RE TWINS, SISTERS, BEST FRIENDS, SIBLINGS, FAMILY!!!!!!

  • mona q

    Im pretty sure when the twins want to stop dressing alike, they will.

  • Zeta Phi Beta 1920

    This is true. But, we get so caught up in treating kids like Barbie dolls. Awwwwwwwww. They look cute dressed the same.

  • CocoBabe88

    How about just let the twins decide when they want to or don’t want to dress alike. I think at 12 they have the emotional maturity to make such a request. It seems like these doctors will make any excuse by any means necessary to separate and divide people; even those who are literally the same by being exact genetic replicas of one another. Constantly questioning things that don’t need to be questioned. Twins have a special bond unlike any others in this world. It’s not good to purposely separate and dividr them just because you “think” it may be better for their “development.” These people question everything even when it hasn't been proven to be an issue at all. It hasnt been a problem for 2,000 years, doubt it’s a problem now?

  • http://suzar.com/BOTW/BOTW-ch1d-pages7-8.html Staci Elle

    Some twins like it, because it makes them stand out.