The U.S. marriage rate has hit a record low, according to the Good Men Project. About 57% of adults got married 10 years ago, but only 51% are getting married now.

Researchers think they know why.

A new study shows women are happier when they don't have children or a husband to go home to. That same study shows men are happier and healthier when they are married.

Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioral science at the London School of Economics, said the latest evidence showed that the traditional measure of success has changed and happiness is no longer correlated with being married and raising children.

"We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that science and just say: if you're a man, you should probably get married; if you're a woman, don't bother.

Dolan says men benefited from marriage because they were much calmer. He added that marriage puts more stress on women and they die sooner as a result.

"[Men] take less risks, you earn more money at work, and you live a little longer. She, on the other hand, has to put up with that, and dies sooner than if she never married. The healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married or had children," he said.

Dolan's latest book, Happy Ever After, cites evidence from the American Time Use Survey (ATUS), which compared levels of pleasure and misery in unmarried, married, divorced, separated and widowed individuals, according to The Guardian.

Dolan says men showed more health benefits from settling down, but middle aged married women are at higher risk of physical and mental conditions than single women.

"You see a single woman of 40, who has never had children - [you say] 'Bless, that's a shame, isn't it? Maybe one day you'll meet the right guy and that'll change.' No, maybe she'll meet the wrong guy and that'll change. Maybe she'll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner."

When the study was initially published in a London newspaper, the comments section was filled with angry wives and mothers who disagreed with his findings.

Photos by Getty Images

  • Kanyade

    You see a single woman of 40, who has never had children - [you say]
    'Bless, that's a shame, isn't it?

    ---------------
    This happens. A lot.

  • Queen B

    So if men should get married and women shouldn't....who in the hell is the man gonna marry lol ?

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs
  • tintin

    duh... if i could go back in time, things would be so different.

  • fawkery

    Here comes another angle of attack for the pro-feminism, anti-marriage, anti-male agenda. As a black woman, I feel like the black family is under attack and these trash studies only make it worse. Black women have some of the lowest rates of marriage anyways...now the studies are trying to say that being single makes us happy? That, coupled with lower birth rates (including abortion) and a whole host of other BS (us being the face of transgender masculinity) is an agenda to destroy us.

  • CardiB’sAbs

    A study is trash bc you disagree with it? Men lie. Women lie. Numbers don’t lie.

  • Bree

    Unfortunately I don't agree, although I have seen women who have been blessed with singleness. Some women have no desire for marriage and/or children. When I was single, I was very happy. My husband says he was lonely until I came along. Our relationship has blossomed and with or without my husband I am still complete. We have a great relationship and I would not change anything about it. Stress has never come from our relationship, it has come from low lifes outside of our marriage. That's why I will tell anyone, to keep them haters out your ear!

  • CardiB’sAbs

    I didn’t need a study to tell me this.

  • chan chan

    Much happier without children.

  • CardiB’sAbs

    Amen!

  • xxxgracious

    ?? thank you for saying this.

  • fawkery

    It's not that I disagree with it - I think it advances a destructive agenda at play.

  • Bree

    You're welcome!

  • chan chan

    Most people I know (not all but most) are miserable and complaining

  • Nik

    If a woman learns how to create her own happiness, she might choose more wisely because she will not allow anyone to threaten what she's built. When a woman sees her happiness and self-worth tied to male validation, she may be more willing to compromise.

  • Nik

    You are secure so you used good judgment in choice of mate. Some women are just happy to be "chosen" and abandon their discernment.

  • MsPam

    Off Topic~ A five year old little boy is missing in Detroit. His mother said she didn’t know he was missing until 10:30 pm when she checked on him. I hope that the little boy is found safe.

  • Nik

    Yes and it gets on my nerves. People shame women who are single with no kids yet those same people are not happy in their situation.

  • CardiB’sAbs

    Same here. Half way raising their kids or raising them well and pawning them off on other individuals because they need “breaks”. The majority of my married frat brothers cheat and the women stay because of the kids. Just a mess. When I’m done with a relationship I want a clean break.

  • Bree

    I completely agree. I waited five years for my husband. During my singleness, I seemed the face of God wholeheartedly. When I met my husband, it felt like heaven. Even after three years of ups and downs, the God outweighs the bad, we are happier than ever, and it still feels like heaven. One of the things my husband loves about me is that I was me before I met him.

  • fawkery

    I agree 100%. I was happy single and I was the most selfish then. Could do anything I wanted, when I wanted. Now, I'm happily married and my marriage brings me immense happiness, no stress and a great desire to be a better person to make someone else happy. If you find someone that works as equally hard to make you as happy and stress free as possible, then ideally you shouldn't have these issues in this article. Marriage is a gift from God so that's why it's important to be equally yoked.

  • EasyBreezy

    Chile...

  • Nik

    I'm so happy for you. A solid marriage is such a beautiful thing.

  • AListDiva29

    I guess it depends on the kind of marriage u have. A lot of women want the "wedding" but don't know what it takes to sustain a "marriage" and both sides end up selfish and un-compromising! Women know men are cheating, but can't stand to be without, so put up with it to protect their image of a happy family for social media. They look stupid though! I honestly blame social media for a lot of fakeness in relationships and the keeping up with the Jones's mentality that people can't actually keep up with! Just like Chris Rock said "A man is only as faithful as his options" and social media has too many!

  • ATL White Guy

    For me, I love being married and love being a father. So I guess I fit the male side of the study. Now I'm wondering how my wife feels....

  • Let them eat cake

    well people arent raised with the same morals and values today so its not really a shock.

  • Bree

    My husband waited for me and vice versa. I had been proposed to more than once but I was not going to settle for anything less than I deserved. My husband says I was the first and only woman that has ever challenged him. He was once a man that had women throwing their panties at him. I was the first to throw them hands. He laughs, because he knows I don't play games!

  • Dowoop

    Each other... ???

  • Yoni7

    Glad you both are in wonderful bliss.

  • MzKeriBabee

    I contemplate living the singe life almost every day unfortunately... and I believe the reasons come down to the choices I made when I believed that being in a relationship would make me happy...

    The most important thing that a woman could do for HERSELF is to KNOW herself before entering into a relationship/marriage... ignore the lust of a new relationship and pay more attention to compatibility, communication and stability... I believe when those factors are equal in the relationship, the more happier the woman and man will be...

  • Nik

    I think it also has to do with singleness being less stigmatized so women are less afraid to remain so.

  • Dowoop

    Men were cheating and women were staying long before social media and the whole neighbourhood knew and talked about it.

  • Bree

    Preach honey! So true. I had a desire for marriage when I was single. But I told God I was going to wait for him to send me my husband. I waited over five years and it has definitely been worth the wait. My husband waited much longer for me and he cherishes me daily. I wake up and go to sleep as if I'm in heaven. God smiled and is smiling on us. My husband says all the time how I fit perfectly, lol

  • Wreckognize Game

    Thank you for writing out my feelings ?

  • Yoni7

    RIGHT!

  • Dowoop

    ??? I always find these stories odd

  • Bree

    Thank you, however, I wouldn't say bliss. We are blessed. Our marriage hasn't been hard, however, hard work. And we are both okay with that. Our biggest challenge came from family and friends, but we made it our business to cut the ties.

  • Yoni7

    ignore the lust of a new relationship and pay more attention to compatibility, communication and stability...
    ____________________
    THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • CardiB’sAbs

    Lolololol

  • Nik

    ?? Lord please let him be found alive and unharmed!

  • Space Ghost

    I think this is truly subject to the individual.

  • Yoni7

    As you should.

  • chan chan

    Actually this is on the subject

  • Renee26

    I see it... To each their own. We all go through changes in life as we go through our lives. The only wrong way to live is being unhappy. Nobody should settle for a life of misery.

    Couples need alone time and dates... and mothers need help around the house and with kids. Adjustments can be made between willing parties.

  • chan chan

    ??

  • Renee26

    Amen

  • Kanyade

    Yup.

  • chan chan

    I have nothing else to add to this anything else would be overkill ? ?

  • Bree

    Thank you. Solid as a rock. My husband and I both have hard heads, but that's one thing we love about each other. He doesn't listen so I have to knock him out. I do what I want and I do it well but he loves that I have my own mind. Compromising was a challenge for him at first because women bow to my husband. Not I, says the cat!

  • Navybeans95

    All on point....ain't nothing wrong with being alone for awhile...I realized I was scared of being alone so I was settling for less than my equal mentally....NOT NO MO....I'm over it...I love myself and being alone is lovely...

  • Renee26

    ?

  • Coy little wink

    Happiness comes from within so the less external stress you have I would imagine the happier you feel internally

    Its not rocket science folks...

  • fawkery

    Wow! What a testimony, God Bless you sis! "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."-Proverbs 18:22. I waited on God as well - He put it on my heart to wait patiently and that I didn't need to go out looking for love because God is the author of love. The quote that got me through the season of singleness was "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man has to seek Him in order to find her." That is the key! Marriage is a gift from God and if more people waited on the Lord and not succumb to the lusts of their flesh, there would be better marriage stats all around and happier people who cherish their spouses because they know it is a gift from The Most High.

  • Yoni7

    Yeah, some folks need to know how to distinguish between being lonely and alone. I'm alone (single), but I'm not lonely.

  • Bree

    That was the biggest challenge for us. Family and friends can and will ruin a God thing if you let them. Our first year we cultivated in private, hell broke loose once my husband started sharing. His people can't stand me! But he doesn't care.

  • Bree

    Exactly!

  • Dontgetdraggedhoe??

    Its me Im women. I dont know a happy woman who has both either. Either they happy with their man and no kids or happy with kids and no man. I want neither yall i love keeping this sexy body and tight kitty to myself. Nothing makes me happier than to say no to a man asking for any dam thing im kewl

  • Renee26

    Agreed... The study probably didn't ask the couples if they married for the wrong reasons or got married too soon. That leads to a lot of unhappiness. People together out of obligations or need.

  • 11pink123

    This just proves how stupid some ppl really are and some have the title of researchers, scientist and Dr’s and y’all listen to them.

    Every body wants and needs a family.

  • fawkery

    Truth! Nothing worse than being lonely in a whole relationship...

  • Bree

    Yes! This is key. I drove my husband crazy (in a good way) because I didn't fit the status quo. When I was praying for a spouse, so was my husband but neither of us knew each other. When I first saw my husband, he was and is the man in my dreams. Never in a million years did I think that was possible. God is real.

  • Shenanigans1

    Exactly. That’s why people shouldn’t make permanent decisions with just any ole body.

  • Shenanigans1

    Yes. Yes. Yes.

  • Dowoop

    Everybody doesn't want a family. If u are happy with whatever you have you should not concern yourself with whether or not what u have will make someone else happy. Not your business.

  • CardiB’sAbs

    god doesn’t exist. Humans made up deities to try and explain things they didn’t understand.

  • Witch

    They doing and saying anything to see to it that black people don't procreate together while promoting the interracial relationship agendas.

  • Bree

    Some women are blessed with singleness. I know women who are married, who have no desire for children. My step sister doesn't like children, although her husband has them by another woman. She doesn't even deal with them.

  • Nik

    No everyone does not. I know A LOT of women and men who have kids, are married, or both, and stated they did so because of pressure from others.

  • Bree

    That's a sad way to live. I enjoy my marriage and can't wait to be a mother.

  • fawkery

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the study! These are the same people that publish articles about black women being the "least desirable" women to date or the "least attractive." Lies!

  • sunni_daze

    I am she who is happy with her kids, I don't desire the no extra stress.

  • Bree

    I believe this is true. Before my husband, I was happy. Once we got together, hell broke loose because of outside stress from other people. We are now in recovery from that foolishness!

  • sunni_daze

    I was just watching coverage of this research yesterday.

  • CardiB’sAbs

    Dang. We only get one life to live and to make permanent choices based on pressure from others sucks.

  • Soda

    When you say waited, does that mean you were both virgins when you met?

  • Yoni7

    Now I have been "singly in a relationship". Broke up with him and it was like a weight was lifted. INSTANTLY!

  • Bree

    That's a good point. Most people can't answer why they married outside of obligation

  • Yardgirl

    My BF's man moved from his state to hers, got married and told me he was the loneliest he has ever been. Of course they divorced but this is my proof that everything cannot be put in a category. Married or single, it all comes down to the individual.

  • AListDiva29

    Yes, but women weren't worried about how they looked online to their friends and family outside their online persona and neighborhood!

  • Bree

    God bless you. I'm blessed in my marriage and can't wait to be a mother.

  • Renee26

    ? it's 2019 chile ?

  • Nik

    The fear of what other people think is real. Some people would rather go along with the status quo just so that no one will say something is wrong with them for being uncoupled and/or childless.

  • Bree

    God does exist.

  • Yoni7

    WOW! Wonder what made them go from one extreme to the next.

  • CardiB’sAbs

    Lies

  • Ghost

    I am a single woman with NO kids and I Love it! Although I have been married before..I never had kids by design. Never wanted any. Kids are A LOT of responsibility!

    I’m not feeding in on stats as to what makes you happy , happier or happiest! I just know I love ?? my status!

  • Renee26

    The internet just magnified it but people have always been concerned with image... Especially black folk

  • Junkanoo

    This study paints with broad strokes it all boils down to what works best for each individual instead of getting married because it's socially expected. Women shouldn't marry men who aren't going to help out around the house if both work. Many a woman teach their daughters to cook and clean but not their sons so they bare some responsibilty . Raise your boys to help out at home so they can take care of themselves and be helpful partners. More and more women are starting to earn more income and some men are raising the kids at home . Work environments can be toxic and draining which can bleed into one's personal life. Happiness is relative it all depends on one's prespective.

  • Renee26

    Shotgun weddings still happen in 2019 smh

  • Nik

    Marriage is a covenant and a decision that should be seriously contemplated.

  • Bree

    Agreed. Getting married because of a baby, lust, or being afraid to lose someone causes more hurt and pain in the long run. I know a woman that married this guy that she'd been chasing for years. She is miserable as hell with him. They have two kids together, she has two from another relationship, and he has one from another relationship. They can't stand each other. When I met my husband, he always says I fit his life, not just his bed.

  • 2gr8ful

    Happiness should exist before the marriage and the kids. Many single people without kids are happy and living the best of life. You can’t seek a marriage to become happy because if the marriage fails then what? I am “happier” with my husband and kids but was happy before they existed end of story.

  • Malesha Shockley

    I saw this on the news this morning, something isn't adding up. I live in Detroit and no five yr old is going to roam around dark streets. Also why wasn't he made to go to bed?

  • Sha

    Good read, agree totally on all above.

  • Yoni7

    Every body wants a family.
    _________________
    Define: family
    Because outside of my mother, grand-Sun and daughter (in THAT order), I could give a fukk less (sometimes) about "family" (ties). And especially if you're speaking on a man, woman, child aspect of family. A man gone have to do a LOT and I mean a lot to match me...........and thing is, I'M "BASIC"!

  • Dowoop

    Their family was in the same house with them babysitting the mans outside kids with the marital kids! The point is you don't look any stupider single online or single in person.

  • Yardgirl

    He bulldozed his way into her life and she is an introvert who allowed it. When he pushed her too hard, she withdrew into a shell. If someone does not want to communicate, you can scream and shout as much as you want, they will not respond. It took years of complete misery on both sides before the divorce. A mess!!

  • Bree

    When I was single, people would pressure me about getting married and having babies, I'm like look at your situation. I was single, but never lonely. I worked hard, cleaned house, and waited on God.

  • MsPam

    Me too, the little boy’s mother hasn’t said anything, her boyfriend is the one speaking to the media. I hope this isn’t like the situation like in Houston.

  • Capricornlady

    I mean...I can see how that could be true. I have a husband and 2 children(grown) but I worry constantly about them. I love them to death but I do sometimes feel like I would be so stress free and worry free if I didnt have them. Dont @me... We grown folks here no need for judgement.

  • Yoni7

    Wow. Does the fact that she doesn't deal with his children, cause problems?

  • Coy little wink

    Needs (at times) maybe...but wants...nope.

  • Bree

    She's probably just as happy as you. As a woman, I was whole before my husband. He doesn't complete me. He always says I complete him.

  • Soda

    It's usually that the person was tired of meeting the wrong person(s) so they try celibacy then call it waiting for Mr. or Miss Right. ?

  • Topic Influencer

    I am the happiest I have been in my whole entire adult life. Not married but living together. We are raising the last two minor kids we have betwixt us and hell...we out here living our life like its golden ya heard? Im divorced. He is a never married.

    To each.

  • CardiB’sAbs

    I am open to marrying a man that also doesn’t want children. I can see myself globe trotting and becoming an old fart with someone. My girlfriend really wants both and that’s cool- just don’t ask me to babysit for more than a couple hours. My sanity can’t take it.

  • Bree

    I would never take advice from Chris Rock, who only married his wife because she was pretty. That's why he was bored with her. A woman helps a man fulfill his purpose. When you're lazy and can't help bring something to the table, lust won't keep a husband but it will keep a man. Men have options. Husbands have wives.

  • Wreckognize Game

    I am the single one but my friends are always calling trying to get me to go on vacay to escape their spouses and breathe. My bff disappointed me when she was trying to talk me into multiple tries with a lil dyck, disgruntled divorced dude just so “I could have someone” I CUT DUDES OFF QUICK AND DON’T HAVE TIME FOR IT. Let me stay impatient af and single as they call it.

  • Bree

    Goodness! Is there something in the water with missing kids these days. I pray he is found safe.

  • Bree

    That's nasty and a disgrace!

  • millz

    Lonely and alone are not the same... I find solace in solitude!!! Traveling is my man... whether solo or with friends... I started in 2016 and it truly changed my life ?never settle for nothing that you don’t want!

  • iWasteTime

    I can see this but I have single,childless friends who aren't happy because they are single and childless at our age. I'm happy in my marriage and with the life and family we've built but I can't say with certainty that if I had the choice, I'd chose this path again.

  • Guest

    Exactly.

  • CardiB’sAbs

    The study said that spouses would lie and say they were happy when their spouse was by them but when their spouse left they would tell the truth

  • Nik

    This is key. Much unhappiness is due to making uninformed decisions. Also, sometimes people truly don't know what they should before entering a union. Don't ask the right questions or anything.

  • Yoni7

    Aww really, sis? I often wonder about married folks sometimes. Specially the one's my age that have been married for YEARS! Like are yall really happy?

  • morenYAHdelsur

    My husband and I enjoy creating legacy for our children. We enjoy building, attaining, and maintaining, business, property, and our personal careers. All the while raising two little ones. It’s weird, but it fuels us. Gets me going. Let me tell you, ain’t nothing sexier than my husband in his work clothes ? LOL. He works in finance. He’s like Superman in my eyes ?

    I really think this all boils down to personal preference though.

  • ATL White Guy

    I need to get someone to ask my wife i guess

  • ATL White Guy

    I have the same feeling. My wife definitely completes me. I'm honored that she chose me. I hit the jackpot.

  • Guest

    I was raised to value marriage so I don't have a dog in this fight. Do what makes you happy, I guess.

  • morenYAHdelsur

    “Willing parties”

    That part! I tend to think some ain’t willing, therefore it feels like work and not happiness.

  • Bree

    This!

  • Yoni7

    Lonely and alone are not the same... I find solace in solitude!!!
    _______________
    THIS! My brother came over the other day and I had JUST gotten into the bed. You think I even got up to talk to him. Bruh, you can come in my room and talk if you want.......or I can talk to you from the bedroom. YOUR choice. LOL Because I'm not leaving my solace until the alarm clock goes off in the morning. LOL

  • CardiB’sAbs

    Lolol

  • CardiB’sAbs

    Hilarious

  • Jay

    Drama free is awesome

  • Nik

    I know a few men who were dragged by the ear to the altar. They all are miserable. One has been cheating throughout his entire marriage. Darn shame.

  • Bree

    You're about to make me scream. My husband is a man of power and every time I see him in his element, it makes me scream inside and sometimes I do it loudly. It drives him crazy. Yet, it never gets old.

  • CardiB’sAbs

    !!!!!!

  • Guest

    Yup. You are not always going to be happy in marriage. Marriage is work. You have to make the decision to love and let things go everyday. My parents have been married for 50 years. I know they were not always happy but they always had each other. Good luck to you. BTW, I am remarried after being married for 14 years and two grown children. I like having a spouse.

  • XoXo

    I agree! ?

  • Bree

    Yes. But you have to make sure you're married to the person God has for you. Both my husband and I desire longevity in life and love. We are different individuals but share the same views. Find the person that you don't mind waking up to every morning. And don't be afraid to let God pick your mate.

  • Bossy704

    Men need women. They die sooner without one. Women live longer when they are unmarried and childless. It's all about stress. I need a wife myself, but these heauxs can't cook and they lazy.

  • morenYAHdelsur

    Right! That’s a spiritual connection right there LOL.

    In my element, mine enjoys seeing me work the room. It’s an unspoken thing (in front of others), but we heavy in this LOL.

  • iWasteTime

    I think I'd give myself more time to LIVE. I've never lived alone, can count boyfriends on fingers and married the last one. He still makes me happy and tingle ... lol Our relationship changed when we had Jr. in good and bad ways. Where we were always on the same page that has changed with parenting and based on how we were raised too. He by two parents, with a slew of issues in their marriage and me by a strong willed Sag single momma.

  • Mimi_131

    I believe this to be true for the majority of women that got married assuming it was the key to happiness. Happiness is a personal matter. Children and Men can stress you out if you let them.

  • CardiB’sAbs

    Lmao

  • Bree

    And I love it. I was a happy single woman. My husband wasn't so happy being single, according to him. So he decided to find me. We are both happy he did.

  • NYTimes#1Bestseller

    Preach?

  • NYTimes#1Bestseller

    Amen!!

  • morenYAHdelsur

    “We are both happy he did.”

    ? Sweet!

  • Bree

    I like that what you said about happiness. I tell people all the time to find out what makes them happy. I spent years by myself and didn't mind it not one bit. My husband is a busy man and so am I, but we handle it day by day.

  • Yoni7

    just don’t ask me to babysit for more than a couple hours. My sanity can’t take it.
    ________________________________
    THIS! I might sound like a bad g-ma but........If my grand-Sun is asking me for something and his mama is in the house......I REFUSE to get it for him. Because when I'm OFF, I'm OFF!!!!! Don't ask me for SH!T. He could be climbing the walls and I will be like "GET YO BABY OFF MY SH!T!"....but won't say NOTHIN' to HIM! LOL #petty #gmaaintthebabysitter #ididnthavefunmakinghim #mynervesbebad

  • Parent

    I'm not married yet but I love being boo'ed up. I was single for a long time raising my now 13 year old daughter. Now that she will be boarding for high school, I'm so excited to be sharing a home with my boyfriend. I must say while single, I shut off myself. I didn't allow myself to feel. Guard was always up. It feels so good to be in love. To truly want to make someone happy, loved and pleasured and then to have that recipricated. I wouldn't trade it.

  • Bree

    Thanks!

  • YellowSauce

    Finacts !!!!! ALL of a woman's stress mainly comes from children and husbands ... Finances are only stressful when CREATED as is marriage and having babies ...I have neither and I'm FREE AS ALL HELL ... lol

  • Nik

    LOL! I have a good friend in her late 40s who is still a virgin. She is not unlocking that treasure chest for nooooobody!

  • Bree

    Amen. I hope everything works our for your daughter and also for you.

  • Yoni7

    #teamsaggitarius #getyouone #keepyouone #queensarebornindecember

  • Well$$Well$$?

    Marriage and children aren't everyone's happily ever after and there's nothing wrong with that imo. Different strokes for different folks...

  • T Willis

    I think the circumstances, surrounding *why* they did (or didn’t) get married and/or had kids, determines the persons happiness. There are folks who got married because kid(s) were involved, and now they’re unhappy or resentful, sometimes both lol. And then there are those who want marriage or kids, but feel unhappy or resentful that those circumstances aren’t a foreseeable option. ????? Bottom line, you have to find happiness in your situation. No one should remain unhappy in a situation that they can change. Whether that’s through adoption, dating more, or divorce, no one should be unhappy. Life is too good, and too short, to be consumed in the negativity and the drama. You have the power to change your life and your circumstances. Carpe diem! ??

  • CardiB’sAbs

    By single they mean unwed

  • Yoni7

    What's the saying..."I don't want somebody I can live with. I want somebody I can't live without."

  • Judi Jupiter

    Amen... dec.7th here.. we are definitely a different breed...

  • iWasteTime

    lolol
    My husband is one too. He and my mother are one day apart!
    I can't quit y'all!!

  • Yoni7

    12*12

  • CardiB’sAbs

    “Life is too good and too short” AMEN!

  • Yoni7

    You know I luh yo mama.....and (y)our (the Y is silent) husband. LMAOOOOOO #dontfightmesis

  • Nik

    I love that you're happy! It is always good to hear when people are content in their relationship.

  • Nita Pie

    I been listening to PRESS all morning. https://media1.giphy.com/media/lSIf7neKNNAmX6XHp8/giphy.gif

  • Parent

    Thank you much.

  • Guest

    Lol!

  • Parent

    Yes you are correct. Me and my boyfriend have been on and off for 10 years. Honestly, I couldn't juggle being a mother and girlfriend. I put my child first. I sacrificed to give her all my love and attention.

  • CardiB’sAbs

    ???????

  • Parent

    Thank you!

  • Parent

    Thank you!

  • Wreckognize Game

    If and when I do open up for the right one. Tamar is SANGING how I might feel. ?????????
    https://www.instagram.com/p/ByH5vLoBFHI/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

  • Wreckognize Game

    If and when I do open up for the right one. Tamar is SANGING how I might feel. ?????????
    https://www.instagram.com/p/ByH5vLoBFHI/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

  • CardiB’sAbs

    That’s awesome! If I had a kid I’d be the same way. Like you said, your child is older and you get to truly experience being in a relationship with your guy?

  • CardiB’sAbs

    That’s awesome! If I had a kid I’d be the same way. Like you said, your child is older and you get to truly experience being in a relationship with your guy?

  • T Willis

    On a personal note lol, as a black woman in my early 30s, who is unmarried and childless, hunty, I have never felt more free, relaxed, and happy ??. Lol but a large part of that happiness comes from knowing myself, loving myself, and knowing that I have power within myself to change anything that no longer serves me. I’m just thankful that I made healthy life decisions that gave me the space and opportunity to learn myself and be happy with myself. ?????

  • T Willis

    On a personal note lol, as a black woman in my early 30s, who is unmarried and childless, hunty, I have never felt more free, relaxed, and happy ??. Lol but a large part of that happiness comes from knowing myself, loving myself, and knowing that I have power within myself to change anything that no longer serves me. I’m just thankful that I made healthy life decisions that gave me the space and opportunity to learn myself and be happy with myself. ?????

  • T Willis

    Lol

  • T Willis

    Lol

  • Parent

    Yes!

  • Parent

    Yes!

  • Yoni7

    Oh the horror of being IN that type of relationship. I'm two years fresh off of a relationship, he was an introvert and the communication was ROUGH! Literal UNDERSTANDING of the simplest things was ROUGH! However, I will tell you one thing.....SOUL TIES are real. UGGGHHHHH!!!!

  • Yoni7

    Oh the horror of being IN that type of relationship. I'm two years fresh off of a relationship, he was an introvert and the communication was ROUGH! Literal UNDERSTANDING of the simplest things was ROUGH! However, I will tell you one thing.....SOUL TIES are real. UGGGHHHHH!!!!

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    She does sound a lot better than she used to. Remember when she needed all that studio technology to sound halfway decent?

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    She does sound a lot better than she used to. Remember when she needed all that studio technology to sound halfway decent?

  • Listen2Me

    Our stories are similar. Celebrated 20 years in May, 2 kids (youngest just graduated) dated off and one since I was 16, married at 23. After we married we did everything together I didn’t really hang out with friends.
    Now that my kids don’t really need me, I like to go out with my girlfriends..and he’s like ..what about me ?. Why you changing up now?

  • Wreckognize Game

    I like that she is full out singing instead of the Mariah Carey imitation that she used to do.

  • Yoni7

    I have never felt more free, relaxed, and happy ??. Lol but a large part of that happiness comes from knowing myself, loving myself, and knowing that I have power within myself to change anything that no longer serves me.
    __________________
    ALL. OF. THIS!!!!!!
    I've been called bougie because of that last line right there. I REFUSE to put up with anything less than what I want for myself. If I feel like I'm putting more than necessary energy into it. I will stop mid whatever and move around. https://media0.giphy.com/media/2zowx20yZOsVfslFZc/giphy.gif

  • Judi Jupiter

    "You see a single woman of 40, who has never had children - [you say] 'Bless, that's a shame, isn't it? Maybe one day you'll meet the right guy and that'll change.' No, maybe she'll meet the wrong guy and that'll change. Maybe she'll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner."
    Auntie must have written my bio... I grew up around nothing but married couples, and everyone is still married. I saw the love, hard work and dedication and expectations. And these are folks born in the 30's- 60's. My aunt/ uncle just celebrated 55 years..
    And I think I'm single now with no kids because of it. My standards may be too high for this age of society. I was raised by nothing less than kings and queens. My dad literally told me that you are to be treated like you're on a pedestal, because even though the man is technically the provider of security, the woman keeps the entire unit together like glue. The first rose, card , really any gift I received was from my father. When he bought my mom flowers, he bought me a single one and got the boys candy. She got a card and a gift/ trip for Valentine's, I'd get a card and chocolate. And everything he gave and provided was personalized. He would sit and listen to us every night at dinner, and by Christmas something we mentioned was under the tree with a personalized note. Very thoughtful and thorough. And I see NOTHING like that in these men out here.
    I will not have kids without commitment, and I just dont see the drive in these men to succeed. I need someone to build with me, and not live off me without effort. Then I listen to ALL my friends that have kids, and they all act like they feel bad for me because I dont have kids/man, and in the same breath say kids are overrated and I wish I could go backwards, I'd just have one, or I'd live my life, or they're draining my time and pockets... I'm good. 40 is approaching in Dec, and I am not in a rush...

  • oshh16

    I think when you are blessed enough to have a husband that deposits instead of constantly withdrawing/taking from you emotionally, spiritually mentally that makes all the difference. When the woman does all the heavy lifting all the time it drains her.

    I would marry the kind of man I just described, until I meet one like that, I'm good.

  • Listen2Me

    Pros and cons to both:
    I married young and had my kids young. 90%of the time I love the way my life turned out (now that I’m older). It was a struggle in my 20’s.
    My sister in law never married and has no kids and now no man. She enjoyed life in her 20’s and 30’s but now in her 50’s she’s lonely.
    Best to do what works for you!!

  • Notatall

    Its always going to be something...rather single or married- young or old...these studies, statistics and opinions- just live ur life

  • Sid

    I agree with this. I’m 24 with no kids. All of my friends have kids. They seem miserable especially with the baby daddies they have. I don’t plan on ever having kids. It’s just not for everyone

  • free

    there were sooooo many things i said i wouldn't do when i was 24 lol. keep living lololol!!

  • Ni Ni

    Men are pitiful if they get old and not married. I have some uncles who got divorced young and ran the streets afterwards, drinking and hoe'n til old age. They got old and sick and just pitiful. My aunt was talking about one uncle recently, said he took off his jacket after singing at church and his shirt "was just a wrankled" ?. She said he needs a wife bad.

    The men who have wives in my family are pitiful too, but they know they wife is gonna do everything for them. The wives be all tired and wore down from taking care of them and they can't even go get their plate from the kitchen.

    Women can take care of themselves when they get old. Men are like spoiled children. They need someone to cook, clean, wash, and make them go to the doctor, smh.

  • onelove

    RIGHT!!!! i know someone that don't have either and is un happy..to each it own

  • Renee26

    WOW that's rare, I wonder if she pleases herself.

    Is she Tokyo... that morbidly obese girl on LHH??

  • Junkanoo

    This may be way out there but I also think sometimes bad relationships maybe apart of an individuals Karmic or Soul lessons if one learns the lesson and not get trapped in a cycle. Good communication skills also help don't marry folks with poor communication skills and bad spending habits unless you it's that kind of unconditional love you can over look it.

  • Renee26

    Bingo... Gotta choose carefully. Everybody isn't worth giving your all to

  • Lovely1

    First of all, I laughed as I read this while thinking... "Wow! Population control really is a thing, isn't it?" lol I'm going to look deeper into the sources cited before I leave my next comment. Oh my gosh.

  • free

    ALWAYS gonna be something!!!!

  • CardiB’sAbs

    Sis doesn’t have friends? Sis can’t get laid? Sis isn’t in a relationship? Loneliness is a choice.

  • Renee26

    Yup I'm kinda in that boat. Not waiting on my husband per say but in between partners. I'm waiting on a lover who is on my level sexually before I give it up again.... Til then "buzz lightyear" works just fine ?

  • Nik

    I doubt she does. She has a nice shape but has always been socially awkward due to a lack of self-confidence.

  • Ni Ni

    My standards may be too high for this age of society.
    _________________
    My mom them can't understand that we dont have a lot of men of quality nowadays. It's totally different out here. Young men will see you coming behind them and will let the door slam in your face, guys are age aren't much better and there are way too many shenanigans that you shouldn't be willing to put up with just to say you have someone.

  • Dontgetdraggedhoe??

    Happy for you sis and god bless you too

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Yes. Those vocal lessons are paying off. ?

  • Sid

    I have 2 sisters as well with no kids. One is 40 and the other is 34. Only the boys have kids. Kids is not a goal for me in life.

  • Skin Deep Beauty

    Glad I didn't birth any child into THIS world! Good with my status of being single. Enjoying the the dating scene and LOVING LIVING IN MY OWN SPACE and sharing it with my Chihuahua! Would I love to be married? Sure! Not against it at all. Been proposed to twice. When I'm certain that it will be a long lasting commitment honoring the vows then I'D say I DO... Until then.....

  • free

    oh wow! i had mine when i was 40 though lol. almost made it.

  • morenYAHdelsur

    A M E N !

    ??

  • Renee26

    Bless her heart

  • Yardgirl

    Glad you got out! The funny thing with introverts like that is they do have a voice and will communicate with others, just not the ones that they need to!! I am an introvert by nature but I am a good communicator. My type of introvert is the loner, leave me alone and I’m good!! ?

  • Queen B

    Everything you said ??

  • Erik Williams

    You think on a 3 dimensional level. A lot of people will look at this and co-sign their single, no child life and feel like they’re doing something noble. However, they don’t realize they point these articles in the demographic of black and brown people because white women birth rate is down. It’s the same with shutting down abortion in states like Alabama. It’s because white women birth rate is down.

  • Vonn

    I am happy as hell that I don't have children. One of thee best decisions I've made in life.

  • NewNew

    I concur on everything, especially the "make them go to the doctor " part

  • Latisaj

    Didn't know happiness could be measured...???

  • Yoni7

    ME TOO! I call myself an extrovert introvert. I'm actually shy as fukk! My friend's and family don't believe it. I am terrified to be around or speak in front of folks. But I make sure I communicate things/instructions/details/directions to a T!
    And YES, THAT was the cause of our breakup......him communicating with other folks. Got downright tired of it. PERIOD! I'm good Love, enjoy. LOL #tired #aintlookedback

  • LLC

    team singleeee :p

    It's crazy how society tells us we need to have a spouse and children to be happy. It's relieving to hear the opposite.

  • leapyearpisces

    I mean tickle me Elmo could have told us this. This not groundbreaking news and it makes sense. NOW me finding out a few weeks ago that every person with blue eyes (regardless of race) are ALL RELATED blew my mind!

  • Listen2Me

    She wasted her younger years on a married man that was going to leave his wife when the son graduated..needless to say..he never left his wife.
    No relationship, friends are now enjoying their grandkids.
    But I agree..it’s a choice.

  • Yardgirl

    Yes girl introvert/extroverts unite!! ????I was so shy people thought I was stuck up. I took a Dale Carnegie course and it helped me tremendously. I am still that shy person but I know how to open up and appear more approachable. All the while I wanted to be left alone???

  • Vonn

    ??? Yes ma'am. I've been called bougie & stuck up, often followed by "you think you're better than everybody." Nope, but I'm definitely better than this BS situation that you think I'm going to fall for. I respect myself and I know my worth. Either treat me accordingly... Or keep it moving.

  • Guest

    All of This! Facts!

  • Guest

    They found him

  • Yoni7

    It’s because white women birth rate is down.
    ______________
    and WE don't care...

  • CardiB’sAbs

    Smh

  • millz

    Yoni ?? I needed that laugh!!!

  • Gloria

    Just Find the right partner to spend the rest of your life with and the resulted this study won’t even apply to you. ?????
    And that doesn’t necessarily have to be a lover but could be a best friend or relative(s). A lot of people are miserable and unhealthy because they picked the wrong person(s).

  • Latisaj

    I believe that is the main concern, which is not allowing your situation to become old. A happy and healthy relationship is one that constantly evolves. What one has to know within a marriage or any relationship is to know ones self and always hold on to your individualism.

    Both you and your partner should maintain a lifestyle that has no limits or boundaries. Being married with two children provides me with the same happiness that I once has as a single women if not more. I know who I'am, I've always know what I wanted, I compromise myself for my family but within reason. Your partner must also respect these notions and that respect must be reciprocated.

    The best way to explore a marriage is to come into the marriage with nothing hidden. Do not attempt to groom someone into your liking if he's the best partner for you they will already be perfectly tailored for you and vice versa..

  • NewNew

    You described my husband. I feel so blessed

  • Yoni7

    HE stayed for an hour and a half. LOL

  • Tlowe89

    Totally agree

  • NewNew

    I'm with you sis. No kids yet but everything else describes me and mine too. What a blessing .

    That being said, I believe this study is telling the truth for the majority of women. Too many unhappy/forced/arranged marriages around the world. Women saddled with kids, abusive husbands, no sense of purpose or ability to follow their own dreams. My heart aches for them.

  • NewNew

    Speak your truth!

  • NewNew

    I love my husband and am happy in my marriage. No kids yet and despite wanting one or two, I confess that I fear having kids may change our dynamic and i don't want anything to change about how we are together. Fear of the unknown I guess.

  • R Smith

    Same here! I'm so lucky :o)

  • Goodii2Shoes

    lol. I was told the elders advised them they would have to leave our land and it will be made unlivable for them in my lifetime. I trust the elders worked things out just fine based on what I'm seeing.

  • Latisaj

    This makes me a little tight because it is a form of population control and morally compromising. I feel as if it's a dig to women who are married with children. To be married with children is not a curse or should be deemed as this awful choice women have made in error. We're not all looking for a way out or wanting to turn back the hands of time. Hell if I could turn back the hands of time it would be in regards to personal growth, finishing school sooner and not kissing so many frogs in order to find my prince.

  • JesusSidePEACE

    I agree 100%

  • BythegraceofGodIcanexplain

    OMG, I haven't read logic like this on here in months. Jim Crow was embedded with after the fact. Now we have turn against our neighbors pointing fingers from moral standards to erase history. You are not here for the purpose of self, selfishness . The fool is one who turn against your race as if they're saying "you're right mr. white man; we don't need it" "We're not like those families you see." Much, much deeper than this post as if we've overcame and voluntarily convinced we're in control of said decision, a Ploy. Look up, white woman in Mississippi who wanted to shout off black family w/ dog. It's the site off it all of black faces together in trinity; eventually both races will agree it's disturbing for everyones comfort.

  • Goodii2Shoes

    Lol, it's going to be hard to find friends and you sleeping with somebody else 's husband., ur automatically outcast from the social circles of 'good people'.

  • morenYAHdelsur

    I concur ??

    Think of how many people we all know that got married for all the wrong reasons! Many think it’s something they’re just supposed to do. Marriage first, it’ll all work out later. That’s definitely a recipe for depression and divorce.

    People have to be honest with themselves and willing to do what’s needed, whether married or single.

  • Goodii2Shoes

    I love telling people they're right when they say that. It doesn't matter that they are wrong. As long as they see my bougie a** & miss me with that bs, we good. Now if 'Yoncé husband' nem could've trusted my word & kept it moving, I could enjoy being siiiiiiiingle and freeeeeee a whole lot more,,

  • Goodii2Shoes

    Ur the funniest thing the blogs got going with 'real' topics

  • Lovely1

    Absolutely! Thank you for reading in between the lines with me. The credibility of articles of this sort is definitely important and as a professional who has worked in health care research and governmental administration, I absolutely question the validity of articles written in the form of meta-analyses, where data is skewed according to the demographics surveyed. lol The target audience in this article is as loud as the pictures chosen to represent the article...and I absolutely call BS. Not moved one bit.

  • Logan Roberts

    Duh. So many married women at my job complain about their husbands on a daily basis. From cheating, to not helping with the kids & household duties, being a bum, etc. I never liked being tied down to anybody.

  • Goodii2Shoes

    LOVE your profile pic. I need to put it in my heart& remember to give the chair to them instead of beating them across the head with it.

  • Vonn

    "Miss me with that BS." That's all I'm saying!!

  • Lovely1

    I absolutely agree. The undertone of this article is absolutely condescending and is intended to validate "singleness" as if it's "the new happily ever after". To each is own. There are research articles (peer reviewed AND non peer reviewed) everywhere. I find this particular one to be quite amusing; much like I do the pictures selected to drive the point home. Cute. lol That is absolutely all I got from the article.

    No. Women who are married with children are not cursed or missing out on anything. lol As a woman who has neither at the time, I will still do so when I am ready. Had a great example growing up of 2 happily married parents and soooo very fortunate for that display of healthy black love. I think the key word in anybody's pursuit of happiness should be "Happiness". Whatever makes YOU happy; not society.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    I don't miss my EX-husband at all. I kinda miss my kids when they're not home.
    I definitely miss the dog when she's at the groomer! https://media2.giphy.com/media/nrN8fUJ4EZn5m/giphy.gif

  • ClaireHuxtable

    Regardless of race? Do tell.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    Kids are a SERIOUS challenge...but I take them in a heartbeat over an incompatible spouse.

  • SugarFoot a.k.a Ty

    Me dancing in the rain after my divorce lmao they can have it chile

    https://media3.giphy.com/media/17dYuJvJX5P8s/giphy.gif

  • ClaireHuxtable

    We must have done a duet!

  • SugarFoot a.k.a Ty

    hehehehe

  • ClaireHuxtable

    My uncle is pitiful too! Maybe we should just send them to a group home where they can be cared for and get a nutritious meal.

    L0l@ wrankled!

  • I’m Just Saying

    totally agree. women are marrying men who cheated on them and mistreated them before they were married then they wonder why they're unhappy. find someone who makes you happy and live your life. stop settling for less, alone isn't so bad.

  • Hazel

    I'd love to know how this 'study' controlled for bitter and older childless women who resolved to be happy given they can't find a good man and/or have kids. It's human nature to convince yourself to not want what you can't have. And as long as social norms frown upon unmarried, childless women, I doubt if they are truly happy; unless they have skin made of teflon.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    Oh that IRKS me!! Hold the daggone door!
    What has happened to our manners[male & female]?!

  • Myopinion

    It depends on how old these women are too...Most woman when they turn 35 and don't have a husband or children, she starts to feel broken and defective because the natural course of life has escaped her.

  • SugarFoot a.k.a Ty

    Everything you typed is the truth! I got married at 19 (hubby was 29) and stayed married for 18 years and I still look back and want to kick myself. We pour our everything into the relationships and lose sight of ourselves. I was so mentally, physically, and emotionally drained that I would cry myself to sleep. Trying to keep the house up, work, school, and take care of the kids. He literally felt like one of my kids after a while

  • leapyearpisces

    My post are awaiting moderation. I guess because I uploaded links.

  • Treasureme

    Be getting married just to be getting married

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    You can't put an age on a defective or broken person...

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Me either....I want a child and a great man to be a father but in case that don't happen my child will have plenty from all sides of my family...

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Wow even US? I just dumped a blue eyed Smokey Robinson lookin azz nicca....he was the worst...

  • ClaireHuxtable

    How sweet!
    Why settle just to say you have somebody...then bring kids into your sadness?

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Everyone I know thats married who are my age is miserable...I cant think of one married woman in my circle whose man hasnt been caught cheating and lying...they all got married for the wrong reasons...now the older couples I know their "formula" is different...you can tell it's love but these 30 something's whew chile...Idk if I wanna get married but I do want a partner who I can be happy with...

  • Latisaj

    Happiness is an unparalleled emotion.. You sound very well rounded and might I say HAPPY!

  • CookieMobster

    I def have more stress than my husband. I do ALL the running of the house, like the old fashion days. His only job is to take out the trash. I do have much more stress than him, but my life would be a LOT less enriched without him and my son. He makes me so happy. I feel so safe and protected, not just from danger but from my car messing up, my shower breaking, ECT. He is such a wonderful provider for my son and I. I am very fortunate. Some times I do want to push his big @ss down, but that is very few and far between. And my precious son, please. I would be so empty with out him. My day and be terrible and his beautiful face makes me smile ? every time. https://media0.giphy.com/media/1hqb8LwPS2xCNCpWH8/giphy.gif

  • leapyearpisces

    The problem is women are each other's worse enemies. That is the issue at hand, married women have a tendency (and I have been married) to look down on single women and TRY to make them feel inferior and less than. I have said it before and I will say it again, if a women's biggest accomplishment in her life is being a mother and a wife... THAT IS SAD. You don't ever see married men putting their single buddies down for not being married, quite on the contrary, they ENCOURAGE them TO STAY single. The problem is not the single women with no children, its the narrow-minded and archaic thinking of other WOMEN towards them. Even some of these comments...SMH...not every woman wants a husband or unappreciative kids that get on your dang on nerves...and most children (even the good kids) don't REALLY appreciate their parents until they get out there on their own (which is UNDERSTANDABLE). Unlike the poster below, I do believe some women are happy to be husbandless and childless I don't think they have to "convince" themselves of that.....that is why a lot of women get in these bad relationships and STAY in these bad relationships because they don't want to be judge for "not being able to keep a man" (roll eyes). Married snatch taint no better than single snatch, and every married woman needs to remember THEY TOO were once single...for me..yeah, I personally would like to and WILL get married again, but I chose not to bring another man into my children's lives. I CHOSE to raise the twins by myself. I didn't want another man living / having access to my children like that, but that is just my personal preference, but I do have single, childless homegirls that could care LESS about getting hitched, even though they do have men. Then I have this co-worker, no man, no kids, but a dog that she would die for...she RARELY at work because this CHICK is always somewhere out of the country VACATIONING with family and friends. Trust! She living her BESTEST life...and that dang on spoiled dog goes EVERYWHERE with her. That dog done been to more exotic locales than I ever have...LOL! Moral of the story...different strokes for different folks. WOMEN, we GOTTA stop being so hard and judgmental on each other. SMH.

  • leapyearpisces

    Just look up all blue eyed people related in google and find the reader's digest article, or link because it breaks the how and why down in layman's term. Then there is an article on a website called owlcation and it breaks down how black people come to have blue eyes and that yes even the black, Asian, Caucasian, etc. that have blue eyes are related.

  • Latisaj

    My uncle as well sorry to say but he threw all his dishes away because they were dirty... Lord help them..

  • leapyearpisces

    Yup. I tried to put the links but I guess we can't post links anymore because my comment is awaiting moderation, so I will just cut and paste what I posted to Mrs. Huxtable.
    Just look up all blue eyed people related in google and find the reader's digest article, or link because it breaks the how and why down in layman's term. Then there is an article on a website called owlcation and it breaks down how black people come to have blue eyes and that yes even the black, Asian, Caucasian, etc. that have blue eyes are related.

  • Meme

    Having children gives you anxiety i swear it does! You love your child (ren) more than anything in this world God forgive me more than life itself you will kill for them die for them (pray it doesn't get to that) when youre pregnant you worry, when you give birth, you worry when their newborns (check if they're breathing when all their doing is sleeping) worry when their toddlers when they get ill, worry when they start school worry when they get bullied,worry when their teenagers,( why haven't they come home yet. Its 11.59 where are they whys their phone switched off), worry when they get married (their wife is a b!tch!) Then when they have kids more worries about grand kids. A blessing yes but a lifetime of worries and anxiety too

  • Nakia Brown

    u sound bitter. or jealous of those single/childless women. IJS

  • WhoKnew

    You're so right. My son just left for a vacay in Mexico yesterday and why was mama on the phone with him last night WORRYING! It's hard not to be mama. Especially if you're a good mama and you sound like you are. And yup, now that I have 2 grandkids now I worry about them.

  • WhoKnew

    Tell that to my son's BFF's former girlfriend. My son's BFF just broke up with his girlfriend after 5 years of living together because he said she had no ambition and he simply got tired of paying her bills cuz he didn't know what the hell she was doing with her paychecks that she never had any money. He paid all the household bills but yet she was still crying broke all the time. So she's 40 something, doesn't have any kids and now she doesn't have a man. Oouch. She wanted it to last and he would have married her but she would not reel in her spending and didn't show any ambition to climb so now he said his next woman has to be on his level and make his type of money. I can't be mad at him for that. I'm a little sad because I thought they were the perfect couple even though something did seem off with them the last time I dined with them. My instincts were right. :o(

  • smartchickfl

    Best comment on the subject period.

  • Hazel

    One article won't change a lifetime of socialization.

  • Chapter29Chick

    Yeah it's definitely a mixture of stress and being grateful, but I guess for women it's a permanent reality versus men who have little to no stress especially when they have a wonderful wife who is traditional (I am as well), they can do watever the hell they want to do while we have to bare the reality of our decisions everyday. My husband never makes me feel special but I have put my dreams on hold, my comfort at stake, and wish to travel and be free at times. Sometimes I smoke and cling to wine at the end of the day... I wish I would have been smarter sometimes but I do love my kids and my husband is a logical Aquarius but I can't say that I'm in love...

  • Meme

    Bless you babe! I have no grandkids yet, but i can just imagine lol. By the way how's your knees been drinking that codliver oil and plenty water?

  • Thee Lovelii Ladii Jaye ?

    True happiness comes from within not in relation to a person. Happy people attract more happy people...just like misery loves company. You are what you attract...simple!

  • Ni Ni

    People not being taught or either they dont care.

  • Ni Ni

    Lawd!!!?

  • Ni Ni

    Chile they gone be harassing them poor young nurses.?

  • Myopinion

    I'm saying if by age 35 they don't have a family most feel that way...please read my response again and hone in on your comprehension skills.

  • OvertheMississippi

    Yes, Lord!

  • Mz_Opinionated

    ? Listen...I am 40...I don't know how much he makes...point me in the direction. LOL! I don't overspend...And I can match him...or at least try. I'll be good...I promise.

  • Primo Levi

    they aint getting marry cause that study was made 4 white ppl plus all the black men & women gay asf so no same sex marriage going on in these states plus most women are cunts!

  • MistaO

    Some bullsh!t to let all these manless / childless hos feel good about being alone.?laughable!

    How many of these miserable, bitter bitches you have to see or deal with every day? They are EVERYWHERE! All bitter and hateful.

    They aren't getting married because men choose to marry and most men aren't dealing with a lazy, narcissistic, face stuck in a phone, non-maternal, ho! Js...

  • MistaO

    Ole broads 40+ and still dumb. No man in his right mind would marry a broad older than 26 at the most!

  • teather

    HA!! I see all the ladies defending their marriages and having children. You all will NEVER admit how you truly feel on social media. We know how you really do feel though cuz we talk to each other. It's OK. IF you're married with kids, keep loving your life and if you're not do the same as well. You're doing your husband a HUGE service, literally. Be kind and gentle with others, as you always are. Nobody is casting blame or saying you're stupid. You will just die sooner, and it'll be worth it!

  • Prince Zuko

    It just seems like u can say anything now in days all u have to do is start off by saying "Researchers say" or study shows" and Bam!!! It's something to be noticed all the sudden.

  • Miss Thang

    I absolutely love children but I feel fulfilled with my nieces and nephews so I don’t feel the need to have my own.

  • JazzyBossyJen

    What is this a post devised to make women throw away being loved...NOT!

  • blue skies

    IM MARRIED(DIVORCING) WITH KIDS...I AGREE WITH THIS THO

  • Goodii2Shoes

    "please and thank you. Have a fantastic day."

  • teather

    I LOVE these kinds of discussions. It pits women against each other comparing notes and faking the funk. Let's be honest. Whatever situation you find yourself in makes you happy. Married women always look down on single women. SIngle women rarely say much about married women. So, if you're happily married call this article rubbish and move on. But if you need to defend it with your blood, you're giving yourself away. Every married women does not want to single and vice versa, Just enjoy the life you live; its all good either way.

  • Keekz

    Marriage and children is such a tremendous responsibility that only those who are committed should choose those positions.
    Luckily we live in an age where women/men have choices. If you don't want marriage and children, don't get married, and don't have kids.

  • Hazel

    LOL...I've been HAPPILY married for 25 years, have two kids who are killing it in their schooling, and am happily retired/set for life boo boo. It can't get ANY better than this! I know yall would like to believe people are jealous, but really we feel sorry for you!

  • Bea Mack,Aka Steel Vagina

    Facts???

  • Bea Mack,Aka Steel Vagina

    I’m loved... maybe by my family and not a mate, and I’m happier than when I am in a relationship.... be sure to differentiate between types of love... agape, eros, etc....

  • Bea Mack,Aka Steel Vagina

    I’m single... no kids, and 37 years of age, and DISEASE FREE.... I’m not bitter and feel sorry for all the women I know or meet who say they wish they were childless and single and free to come and go as they please w/o having to check in with anyone. It gets lonely every now and again- but I think about alllllll the stress I avoid by being happy in my season of singleness.

    That said, you sound like you might be trying to convince yourself that you are happy in whatever your situation is?????

  • Bea Mack,Aka Steel Vagina

    ?

  • Bea Mack,Aka Steel Vagina
  • Vonn

    You too.

  • Vonn

    Ditto. ?

  • Ronnie Shepard

    You made some very solid points. Plus the dog part for us is true. I have a boy and a girl Epangneul, and no one can tell me nothing about my furbabbies. I do believe women - married or single - have a checklist for what THEY think is acceptable. Mainly because they are lviing that life which validates their point. My husband and I have been together for 20 years(in August) married for 3 years. No kids between us, but he does have a daughter from his previous marriage, and we have a grandchild. I NEVER wanted to be married or have kids. It just wasn't my thing - at the time. Then we started doing "life sheet" stuff, buying a house, merging accounts, etc. Best decision we made was to get married. For US. The reality is this. God has a plan for everyone. Comparing yourself to others is just an L. They can't be you and you can't be them. Period. Your point about people just settling for bad relationship so they are not judged is a sad true fact. Marriage and children are not indicatives of happieness. Happiness is - no matter the form it takes in YOUR life. If people would just worry about their path, not what the news, social media or whatever medium they use for information tells them - these conversations could lead to a better bridge of knowledge for people - instead of the divisive, judgemental hateration it creates. No one is perfect. NO ONE.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    thanx 4 the info.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    *smh* I can believe that!
    Lazy on steroids.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    Both I guess. A 50/50 combo.
    It's sad.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    You're right! They'll have to hire retired nurses & staff who just want to work part time.
    ...The Thrill is Gone~ BB King

  • Indo in Indigo

    Yeah me too ?

  • Indo in Indigo

    It's hard af and I was considered married late at 28. I don't mind the kids, they are fun at times but that husband!? It definitely felt like a tie down, especially once I hit him with them papers. My youngest cousin gave me life to divorce my husband. When she did it at the age of 23 with two baby girls, I'm talking 1 and 2 year olds, she felt so liberated and so did I. She married because of the pressure from the church. Marriage is hard work that I'm in no rush to do again. Kids are here and you can't divorce them and they're here but I tell my kids to hold off, see the world without suspicion from another person

  • Blunted25

    Humbleness sis. Anyone of those can be taken away at anytime Lord forbid it. There are people out here who have lost their whole family in one day. Be proud for what you have but for the love of God be humble.

  • Society has changed

    My kids are grown and I got rid of my cheating spouse.... yeah this story is correct!! ??

  • Ni Ni

    Hollering ?

  • Ni Ni

    Omg, you were so young. I hope you got out of that ok. Low dow dirty bastid. *shakes fist*

  • Kimberly King

    I'm not married, but I also don't have children. I can definitely say that I thank GOD everyday that I don't have kids. It's so quiet and peaceful in my house. That and I get to keep my nice ass salary to myself. Lol I'm still in my ME ME ME phase. Not ready to get out of it yet. I do want to get married though! But I want my husband to myself.

  • leapyearpisces

    You made valid points as well, ESPECIALLY the point of living YOUR life and following YOUR destined path, and not worrying about or comparing yourselves to others. That is so true! To your point, I also found out a few weeks ago that race horses are blindfolded so they will not get distracted with the horses beside them. They are blindfolded so they concentrate on THEMSELVES ONLY AND ACCOMPLISHING THEIR TASK, NOT the horses on either side of them, because if they get distracted with the other horses, it will slow them down or possibly take them off THEIR path.

  • leapyearpisces

    I am replying to myself to edit my comment (I know I can edit my original comment, but it's already long). At any rate, I just want to apologize to ALL the women out there who being a WIFE AND MOTHER is their biggest accomplishment. My original post said that it was SAD if that is a woman''s only accomplishment, but that's not true, and that statement was judgemental which is the OPPOSITE of the message (not being judgemental ) I was trying to get across. If a woman''s ONLY goal in life is to ONLY be a wife and a mother...that is their prerogative, and that''s OK. By making that comment, I am NO better than the married women who judge single women. I apologize.

  • Kimberly King

    Their husbands talk more than the women do ! I befriended a guy I met at an art gala a few weeks ago. We both struck up a long conversation on African art and history. Anyway, he didn't mention he was married, but I peeped the ring. I cut him off after he tried to make a move on me. Then that's when he broke down and told me how miserable he is, how his wife doesn't do this and blah blah. Tell your spouse what YOU need OR move TF on. But don't step outside the marriage for temporary happiness. Some women see being married and having babies as an accomplishment. As Aunt Fran stated in Mama's Family: "EVEN mosquitos can reproduce!"

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    I can see both sides but as a parent I have to say you are a parent for LIFE you don’t stop being a parent or worrying about your children because they are GROWN I fear I’ll be old and still worrying about my child is she ok is she making the right choices is she being treated right is she happy will she survive with out my guidance what will happen when I leave here. It’s a constant worry EVERYDAY! Not to mention if you have a man or spouse that you have to constantly take care of emotionally sexually spiritually making sure he has what he needs. Shit it’s a lot the more I think about it and the more I type. I’m seriously at the point where I don’t what to marry only because I see too many ppl getting married for the wrong reasons and too many married men have come on to me in my lifetime. I honestly don’t think I want to deal with a man forever ever! Or deal with the ups and downs being married brings. Maybe I’ve had far too many failed relationships and no good men that have turned me off from it all together but presently I’ll just be happy with being single the only way marriage would benefit me is financially the other shit that comes with it I can do without

  • leapyearpisces

    No disrespect, but I think people around "said woman" start to feel defective and broken for "said woman". I have LIVED honey on BOTH sides, and I have found that "said woman" is OK until people (usually always women), make her feel DEFECTIVE and BROKEN.

  • blue skies

    im happy about it tho he was a headache! now he somebody else headache

  • blazewon22

    10 years later paying for IVF...

  • leapyearpisces

    You are blessed, and congrats to you, but like the other poster said, be humble. Your lifestyle and your life can be taken in a blink of an eye. With that said, I wish you and yours continued blessings because NO ONE is jealous of anybody up in the rose garden; for the most part, we try to encourage one another. RESPECTFULLY, I say lay down that braggadocious spirit. Still wishing you and yours continued blessings though.

  • leapyearpisces

    I concur.

  • blazewon22

    One study does not equal truth...Several studies have shown the benefits of marriage and family in one's happiness, wealth, and health. People are so selfish and unwilling to have any compromises in their life which is why there is such high rates of divorce.

    Men and women can both find happiness being single, smashing randoms on Tinder, and blowing money all over the planet but its junk food. In the end it comes back to bite you in the ass. My wife deals with plenty of women who are in their 40's that have paid $$$ for IVF after living the "single and happy" life.

    I pray my daughters find a good spouse early, have their kids and continue the most human aspect of this thing we call life.

  • blazewon22

    Generally speaking everyone has stress and worrying about your kids means you care. It sounds like you and your man need some counseling and working on taking care of each other. ALL relationships have ups and downs. Whether its dating or marriage is irrelevant.

  • blazewon22

    Puhlesse! You're probably fat, miserable and wishing you had a spouse and kids. Its nature...

    As you said "It gets lonely"...At 37 its not a season of singleness, its a closed window!

    Married, parents always say to their single friends they wish they had more independence to make you feel better.

    If someone came through and pulled a ring out you would jump on it in a heartbeat!

  • blazewon22

    A human's biggest accomplishment in life is to find a mate and reproduce! Doesn't matter the gender. In the end it will not matter how much money, trips, clothes or pets you had. You will regret not having a family to share it all with.

  • blazewon22

    The older folks cheated and messed around as well. We let monogamy define the barometer of a successful marriage. Intimacy is hard during a child's formative years and often spouses yearn for the "good ole days" of no responsibility and the excitement of a new experience.

    Most people let the fears of the world hold them back from dating each other, traveling, and generally putting the kids first.

  • leapyearpisces

    That's not true....I know too many people that are happy without that, and your way of thinking is a part of the problem; but I respect YOUR opinion even though I disagree.

  • blazewon22

    Happiness and accomplishments are 2 different things. You can be happy sleeping under a bridge but not accomplished.

  • blazewon22

    It's a journey not a sprint and people evolve over time. I'm agree that every marriage isn't perfect. Some people had ulterior motives. But marriage is a business proposition first and for love second.

  • Hazel

    Exactly! Say it louder for the ni$$as in the back.

  • Hazel

    Preach. It's human nature to want to be in a loving, healthy, committed relationship. It's also human nature to want children with that partner to love, nurture, and continue your legacy. People make other choices for various reasons, but denying innate instincts is merely a protective mechanism to rationalize personal circumstances.

  • Hazel

    And sitting alone, staring at a closet full of STUFF that has ZERO value...no man wants a selfish wife....and good luck finding a DESIRABLE man in his 40s with no kids. You may not want kids, but most desirable men this age already have a kid and ex-wife; and his kids will ALWAYS have priority over you.

  • Kimberly King

    In your DREAMS, thirsty ! If anything, that money will going to a lavish trip to another country. Don't get mad at the Queen for having standards. I'm wayyyyy too precious and too damn good to be someone's baby mama. So ... you can stay mad. K ugly ?

  • Soda

    Mo'Nique has spoken! She says we must allow Black men to have side chicks. Who here agrees? https://media3.giphy.com/media/6L42JpTyKb7m8/giphy.gif

  • leapyearpisces

    So letting a negros nut in you to make a baby is an accomplishment??? I view accomplishments as thing you get out of working hard an applying yourself, and puthing in EFFORT! It does not take much effort to let a man shoot up the club.....but ok...not on a debating mood today....YOU WIN. :-)

  • leapyearpisces

    So letting a negro nut in you to make a baby is an accomplishment??? I view accomplishments as things you get out of working hard an applying yourself, and puthing in EFFORT! It does not take much effort to let a man shoot up the club.....but ok...not in a debating mood today....YOU WIN. :-)

  • MadameMixi

    Well I'm 41, just had a baby with no IVF and also got married to a man over 40. The fact that people still live by these ridiculous "time lines" for marriage and kids baffle me.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    I wasn’t speaking of my relationship I’m not in one I see a lot of women who lose themselves trying to hold a family down and taking care of the needs of the household and working. And my point about worrying about kids I know it means you care but my point is I can see hold someone who doesn’t have those worries as far as marriage or kids goes could be happier because that one less stressor

  • blazewon22

    Wow its funny because its all women who are making these comments. Most men I know are well kept, high earners, who work really stressful jobs as their role in the marriage. They cut the grass, fix the house, grill on weekends and coach their kids sports. They also provide well over 70% of the household income, in a lot of cases 100%. The wives have a role and its taking care of the kids and allowing the husband to focus on providing income.

    Fixing a husbands plate is a marriage tradition and a sign of love, honor, and respect.

  • EMILY POST

    It depends if a woman gets into a real relationship with a man that has a lot of drama etc early in her life. Yes she may be happier in life without that type of person. It really depends..

  • Eileen

    so very true!

  • Eileen

    Every Christian women knows this to be true.

  • ShWa

    It depends on her, maybe she is not cut out for marriage, or the man is not marriage material, I like to see black families, man, wife, children, I love being married with children.

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    As I said you cant put an age on a broke or defective person....I know comprehension very well...thats like saying all men are impotent my 35...your casting a broad net for something when you have no research or point to back it up...

  • Jordan’s Memory

    Out of all the hateful and selfish comments I have read so far, yours completely sums it up and makes complete sense. Bottom line we need to stop letting men validate us and our happiness. I have friends who have kids and a husband and miserable! I have friends who are single with no kids and lonely, I also have friends who are dating with no kids and living their best life because they never wanted children to begin with. Me personally, I couldn't imagine my life without kids, but now that my kids are older I can't wait for them to be completely grown so I can start doing me and traveling the world without having to make arrangements for my children. People just have to realize that everyone doesn't want to be married with kids. it doesn't mean something is wrong with them or because they can't find a man, it's because that's their choice. and they shouldn't feel ashamed about it.

  • SugarFoot a.k.a Ty

    All is well luv...thx :) I've bounced back and grateful for the journey.

  • Myopinion

    Sis, please your reading too much into what I said. I'm responding to the article that said "women are more happier when they don't have children or a spouse". I stated depending on the age, MOST, not all, but most by age 35 feel broken and defective if they don't have children and/or a husband. So I'm not casting a broad stroke...look at the multiple women in Hollywood over age 35 who have had IVF, or used surrogates. Example Gabrielle Union...Then you have those who are happy after age 35 such as Tracy Ellis-Ross who don't want children. I was speaking on the Majority and the majority of women want children...Get it? Got it? Good...

  • Myopinion

    If she feels she doesn't want to have kids why would you allow someone else's opinion to make you feel bad about it. A female can't tell me anything about me and what I desire in life...learned this lesson years ago. But if she does want children and can't have them after age 35. I can see how another woman's opinion can affect her, which takes us back to feeling broken and defective.

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Im not your sis...please get the f^ck on and have a good day...paragraphs aren't needed and obviously you were triggered by my comment which means me on this keyboard and my words bother you...

  • Myopinion

    Okay you don't have to be my sis, just a term of endearment but okay...Also my response must have triggered you also because you the one mad. This is a blog where people comment and debate on these posts. It's okay if we don't agree but I'm not bothered at all by your post. You might be a happy childless man less woman over 35, I don't care.

  • RachelW

    Some women go as far as feeling like marriage is modern day slavery for females. A lot dont like the traditional roles some men want from a spouse, basically a second mom. Catering to the kids and husband every day and putting yourself last....and society makes it seem like something is wrong with you if you dont want to be a submissive wife especially religious people.

  • Xsjado

    I do what I want, you do want you want. I chose not have kids or be married because I came from a large family. I enjoy being able to travel, do things and enjoy the peaceful moments to myself.

    I respect marriage/children, but it’s just not what I want.

  • just saying

    I agree. If your happily married, I'm happy for u. Don't assume or condemn the women who aren't. I have NEVER wanted to be married and I couldn't get pregnant. The temporary alone feelings I have felt every once in awhile has NEVER made me want to get in a committed relationship again. It's not because I met bad guys. Relationships make me feel dead inside and like I'm working a job with no benefits or pay????

  • just saying

    Kids are a lot of responsibility that people with kids, I sometimes wonder why they were able to have them. Horrible parents .

  • just saying

    Me either. The women at my job got married early and are so desperate for Male attention on the job its pathetic. Worse than the actual single women.

  • Bea Mack,Aka Steel Vagina

    Wow.... I’m not, 5’3 and 128lbs.... however you being simple minded resorted to name calling for me stating my truth and opinion shows that you are in probably in all areas of your life ridiculous... smh. I’ve been proposed twice if you must know and declined bc I felt that longevity with the proposer would not be in my best interest. I was right bc one went on to beat his next victim and the other was as equally as ridiculous as you seem to be??