I admit I did feel a slight tugging on my leg when I first read this story on the London Sun’s website about a baby having a baby. But I linked to the story anyway believing it to be legit.

DNA tests confirm that 13-year-old Alfie is not the daddy of 15-year-old Chantelle’s baby.

The questions are numerous, like why didn’t The Sun verify the story by making the kid take a DNA test before running with it?

Anyway, Michael K said it best:

Chantelle said she was a virgin. Chantelle was lying. Chantelle was serving that vagina all around town like she was a Hilton. Chantelle is a slut. A slut with a baby. A 15-year-old slut with a baby. This is the part where we silently weep in the corner.

When the story hit, a mob of boys came forward saying they too tapped that shit without a condom. This made Alfie’s daddy demand a DNA test. This also made Jesus cry a river which temporarily flooded Britain. Luckily, Alfie managed to get in a paddle boat and he made his way to the DNA testing center. He was tested and there wasn’t a match. Alfie is NOT the father. And if you didn’t read that in a Maury Povich voice, then you need to watch more TV.