Yesterday, we noted a CNN reporter labeled Kim Kardashian a narcissist. In the comments section we mentioned Kim K. using Reggie Bush (if they are back together) as her source of Narcissistic Supply. Many of you were unfamiliar with this term, which is also known as NS.
According to psychoanalyst Otto Fenichel, the Malignant Narcissist requires 'narcissistic supply' from the environment the same way a baby needs a bottle. Psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg referred to the coldness in a narcissist's relationships as the "tendency to disregard others except in temporary idealization of narcissistic supply".
Lisa E. Scott explains that narcissists have no innate sense of self or self identity. So they tend to "look outward" for objects or people that will reflect him or her as wonderful, such as a trophy wife or an expensive car.
These objects (or people) are referred to as Narcissistic Supply or narcissistic extensions of themselves.
In Kim Kardashians case, a $2 million wedding ring was such an object of supply. Kris Humphries was also an object of supply, and her reality show serves as another source. According to Scott, everything & everyone in a narcissist's environment is reduced to an object, or "supplies" which the narcissistic feeds off of and ultimately drains of their own self-worth.
Some people willingly assume the role of narcissistic supply, such as a celebrity's entourage who puts up with verbal abuse just to be around the celebrity. Some sources of supply don't even realize they are being used, such as the case with Kris Humphries and Reggie Bush (if he did indeed take her back).
Narcissists can be excessively loving, due to their need for a supply of love -- but narcissists are not capable of love.
Remember that love is not a feeling or an emotion, it is an action. And narcissists are some of the best actors in the world!
Lisa E. Scott says the narcissist can act exceedingly loving, while at the same time he or she is acquiring material things or new people (or both) to replace you. The narcissist will quickly devalue one previously "adored" narcissistic supply, and replace him or her with someone he or she ranks higher.
Scott explains that it is no surprise when you know the end is coming, but when you don't know she's leaving -- usually without warning or explanation, it is a huge and traumatic shock. Remember: the narcissist always has another person waiting in the wings.
The narcissistic supply (in this case, Kris Humphries) experiences a state of shock and grief, while the narcissist (Kim K.) moves on with her life as if nothing happened.
If there is any public expression of sympathy for the man she dumped, the female narcissist wonders what all the fuss is about.
She takes to her blog and writes a letter reminding you that SHE is the important one, not him! And she wants you to know that it took great "courage" for her to have endured the "roller coaster" ride of a relationship that SHE created and manipulated for her own needs!
Lisa E. Scott provides tips to survive the malignant narcissist, including:
1. Trust your first instincts and intuition
2. Beware of quick professions of love
If he or she says they love you after one week of being together: RUN!
3. Be very wary of excessive expressions of love, in words. Look at deeds.
For instance, Kim's sister, Khloe Kardashian, sits on Twitter.com all day professing her love for her husband, Lamar Odom. But love is not expressed in words, true love is expressed in their actions (or what they DO for you).
4. Do not take their word for anything!
They have an unparalleled ability to lie to your face, even if evidence is right there. They will rationalise and make up excuses: they garner their skills to talk-the-talk when under pressure.
5. Don't ever take them back a second-time. They will do it again. And again. And again.
This one is very important! A narcissist will always return to an old source of supply once they use up their current source (in Kim's case, it might be Reggie Bush). Keep the door locked when she comes knocking. If she calls, don't answer the phone.
REMEMBER: YOU ARE NOT AN OBJECT TO BE USED! You are a human being with feelings and emotions -- attributes that narcissists, such as Kim Kardashian, lack.