The Female Narcissist

Here is another post in my ongoing series on narcissism. For you men who are healthy and would never fall into a female narcissist’s trap, another post will be up shortly.

When the female narcissist targets you, she moves with great speed. The first time you meet her she seems to appear out of nowhere. But in fact, she has been watching you for a minute and sizing you up for the kill.

She has figured out your vulnerabilities and she will use them to get what she wants: fame (if you’re a celebrity), power, or wealth.

The female Narcissist is attractive, intelligent, very charming and highly confident that she can take everything you own. These women lack what healthy women possess naturally; a conscience, character, empathy for others, etc.

The female narcissist makes up for what she lacks by constructing a false sense of self. Then she projects that false self to others. In her rigid world, she is queen and the world revolves around her. Hell hath no fury like the rage you will encounter if you don’t completely ignore your needs for hers.

You might think you’re in love with her, but her ultimate goal is to destroy you (emotionally) and leave your life in ruins. The only thing that will save you is if you recognize the early warning signs and get out in time.

The narcissistic female craves attention. Most celebrities are narcissists, as are most reality TV stars. The female narcissist usually takes a job that guarantees her a high level of attention such as broadcast journalism, sports announcing, blogging, strip clubs, publicists, prostitution, pr0n films, etc.

There are many warning signs and red flags that you are dealing with a female narcissist. Here are some that you have probably already experienced:

  • Narcissistic rage: an intense, furious anger that seems to come out of nowhere. It is intended to startle and shock you into complying to what she wants. She can be furious one minute and smiling the next, as if nothing happened.
  • Gaslighting: Considered psychological warfare. It is the narcissist’s way of convincing you that you’re the crazy one, not her.
  • Narcissistic stare: An intense stare with no feeling behind it. You’ve seen how cats stare at prey before they pounce? In the narcissist’s world you are her prey.
  • Silent treatment: The narcissist’s way of punishing you by ignoring you (or cutting you out of her life) for a period of time or forever. Then she will “let you off the hook” by demanding an apology even though you aren’t to blame. She does this to modify your behavior. It’s her way or the highway.
  • Other symptoms include: a grandiose sense of self; living in a fantasy world of perfect beauty, love, power, genius, etc.; thinks of herself as special and only able to be understood by special people; demands excessive amounts of praise or admiration from others; feels entitled to automatic defense, compliance or favorable treatment from others; is exploitative towards others; lacks empathy with others; is envious of others, or feels they are envious of him; has an attitude of haughtiness or arrogance. Source

    You probably have a female narcissist in your life and not even know it because you don’t have anything she wants.

    You probably think she’s an attractive, successful woman who has her life together — except that she doesn’t have a man or she seems to have problems keeping men. Other than that, she seems perfect to you.

    The female narcissist seeks female friends to subjugate them or to steal elements of their personalities, since she doesn’t have a personality of her own. You might think that her imitating your personality or style is a form of flattery, but it is not. Have you seen the movie Single White Female?

    The narcissist’s closest female friends are almost always lessors; not as attractive as she is or not as successful or as materialistic. Her female friends serve only to boost her ego and to make her feel superior.

    If you are friends with a narcissist, you are an object to her — a mirror that she holds up to see a reflection of herself in. You’re flattered that she loves your company, when in fact she can’t bear to be alone with her empty mirrors.

    If you force her to see you as an individual, rather than as a mirror of herself, she will dump you and find another “best friend” to “mirror” herself in. This is because the female narcissist has a very distorted image of self (like a vampire who can’t see her reflection). Your face is a mirror of the image the narcissist projects.

    Since the female narcissist has no sense of self, she can’t pass by a mirror without checking her reflection. The female narcissist’s house features an abundance of mirrors and photos of herself.

    Some narcissistic females can be heterosexual one minute or lesbian the next. She flip flops with ease. Whatever role she has to play to snag her target, she will play it to perfection.

    The female narcissist usually has no interest in sex. She uses sex the way a hunter uses bait; to trap a man. The female narcissist sees a man’s need for sex as a weakness — and she despises him for his weakness. Once she subjugates a man (gets him under her complete control), their sex life decreases or ceases entirely — if they have a sex life at all.

    A narcissistic female has been a narcissist all her life. Narcissists are not born that way, they are created. By the time you meet her in adulthood, she has sharpened all the tools in her arsenal. Her ultimate goal is to woo you, then leave your life in ruins before she moves on to her next victim.

    The female narcissist is an empty vessel inside. She needs her victims to fill that empty void. But because she has the mind of a child, she attacks you relentlessly — like a child abuses her toys — whenever you step out of line.

    She doesn’t have the moral compass to understand that she’s hurting you emotionally or mentally; your pain gives her life.

    She is not going to change for you, so don’t kid yourself.

    There is only one way to deal with a narcissist: LEAVE. RUN as fast as you can and don’t look back.

    Men (and women), educate yourselves so you don’t fall victim to a narcissist.

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