Every so often I receive an email that makes me smile. Many women meet a new man and they really hit it off. The women attribute their strong emotional attachment (or that intense rush of feelings) to “love at first sight”. Actually what they are experiencing is a powerful chemical reaction in the brain that could lead them to marry the wrong guy.
Read my loyal reader’s email after the break.
Loyal reader SDS writes:
Hi there Sandra,
I pray all is well! I am a faithful reader/member on your site and I just wanted to thank you for your article dated March 1, 2012 on Love vs. Dopamine (Lust for Love). It was a good read with some very insightful points. I have heard of Dopamine before but I never once thought that it was the reason for that crazy rush of infatuation you feel when you meet someone that you really like….that rush that causes you to obsess about that person and want to be with them all the time. I have referenced your article so many times when speaking with friends and discussing topics on Facebook and I have had a few women ‘thank me’ for sharing this knowledge with them.
I am also teaching this topic to my 13-18 year olds in Youth Ministry. What’s funny auntie is that I started dating a guy sometime ago and the dopamine rush kicked in strong…I mean really, really strong. We not only had a physical, emotional, and mental connection, but we also connected spiritually. After a month or so of dating, I asked that we take a two week fast from each other to put our thoughts and feelings into perspective.
It was rough but we did it! Of course then, I didn’t think about the “Dopamine Rush” but reading your article and your insight on this topic put a lot of things into perspective on why this was an awesome thing to do. Two years later, we are still doing GREAT! Every now and then, we give each other a few days to access our relationship and create a report card to share with each other. But I can’t help but think that reading this article 15 years ago could have saved me some heartache (smiling)! Thanks again! MUAH!
sdsthomas
Update: loyal reader Quisha writes:
Hi Sandra.
I frequent your site daily.
I like the stories/articles you post about the “Dopamine Effect”…… and how it effects women. I’ve found myself in wasteful relationships in the past, not knowing it was the “Dopamine Effect” at the time but now understanding where/how I messed up.
I’m emailing because I have yet to see you post an article on how it effects men? There are some men out there that rush into relationships and think they’re in love with a woman way too fast as well. These are the men that leave they families for the woman they cheated on their wives with, the men that think they’re in love with a woman because she is taking care of them physically and financially.
Or does the “Dopamine Effect” exist within a man’s brain?
Have a good day!
Quisha
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