Yesterday's post on Narcissism touched quite a few of my readers who responded with their own emotional stories about dealing with the narcissist in their lives.
It pleases me that my posts has helped others to grow and heal in their relationships with these sociopaths.
Some of the emails below were edited for clarity and all names have been withheld.
Good Afternoon Sandra,
I have been following your site for over 5 years. Anyhow, I was very moved by your recent posting regarding Narcissism and the young lady who spoke out. I myself would like to remain anonymous due to my friends frequenting your site also.
I've been married for 12 years to a man I have always felt to be a Narcissist. Before writing this letter I didn't want to jump on the bandwagon so I did the research on symptoms and signs. HE HAD THEM ALL.
He especially had the Narcissist rage. I have asked for a divorce because of the feeling of low importance and value in this marriage. He has affected my value, self-esteem and pulled me out of my character on numerous occasions for his amusement. The question is how can you trust if a Narcissist has changed or is being sincere when you threaten to leave?
We also share kids together. I feel I no longer love him due to the pain I've endured but if I stay does a person like this ever get it together? I know you have a lot of strong women who read your site and I am deeply concerned and stressed out behind this love/hate relationship. His Narcissist behavior has me looking at him likes he a ticking time bomb of venomous words waiting to happen. If possible, I need some insight from your readers not to decide for me but to give me any knowledge on if people like this ever change. I know you may have to edit this to a shorter message if you do decide to post this but any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.
A Loyal Reader
This reader asked for your input, but here's mine: my advice for her is to get out of this marriage and sever all ties with him for the sake of the children.
When I was involved with a narcissist, I bought all the self-help books I could find on dealing with narcissists. Every book that I read said the same thing: GET OUT!
Narcissists can not be cured. They will not change no matter how many times they promise to do better. Most psychiatrists and therapists refuse to treat them.
They are sociopaths who lack the ability to feel. So they can't empathize or relate to the pain they inflict on you. They just see you as weak when they break you down. Your suffering only gives them life. They have no heart and they have no feelings.
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Hi Sandra! I was writing to say reading your blog in reguards to the word narcissist helped my relationship a lot. I met my BF when I was almost 16 and we have been together 9-10 years. Anyway he is a Virgo, so I always summed his behavior up as typical Virgo behavior. He is one of those people you love or hate on. Everybody wants to be his friend, and he is so stank, ugh. He's very intelligent, we both are college educated, he like's to dress nice and so forth.
[He] has to be the center of attention, and if it's not done his way it's wrong, he has to be in control, the boss. I eventually found your blog and came across the word narcissist. Once I began to throw that word around, I even showed him your site, I guess you can basically say the word and definition itself was a good way of placing a mirror in his face and I had tried everything. Luckily, we both learn and grow with each other.
He has calmed down a whole lot. Even with his friends. So I myself have to thank you for making my relationship much better. The word narcissist gave me the ammo I needed to get my point across. He hates that word and I really think he is doing what he can to stand clear of this type of behavior. He stills remain true to himself: Virgo behavior. [He] thinks he's all that etc, but in a more tolerable and respectable way. I didn't want him to change who he was but you know. So thanks for your medical minutes they do help!
Good Morning Sandra:
I too got inspiration today from your article on narcissism I am dealing with people like that at my job. So I printed it up, and now every time before I have to pass them in the hallway, I read it.
As I explained yesterday, the reason I used a pic of Jay Z and Beyonce is because they are both narcissists who feed off each other.
Jay Z will never allow Beyonce to be greater than him. He barely mentions his wife Beyonce in his book "Decoded" even though this book is supposed to be about his life.
Jay Z (a classic narcissist) who knows his wife would steal all of his thunder if he wrote extensively about her. His book would be a bestseller because of her, and he knows it. His small ego just couldn't take that.
I find it interesting that someone from Rocawear/Rocnation emailed me about Jay Z's book yesterday. I thank them for reading my blog, but I'm not interested in decoding Jay Z's lyrics.