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You've heard the terms "daddy issues," and "fatherless sons," but what do those terms mean? Child experts say fathers (or father figures) are vitally important to a child's growth and development.

When the father (or father figure) is missing from the home, that absence can cause devastating effects on a child's emotional and social well-being.

Atlanta rapper Young Thug (pictured above) is an example of a conflicted young man who struggles daily with daddy issues.

Single mothers are great. Most of them do the best they can to provide a stable and happy home for their children. But studies show children thrive when they have two parents in the home. At least one parent should be a biological male, since women can't teach boys how to be men.

According to Psychology Today, research has shown that absentee fathers are "nothing short of disastrous" for a child's mental, physical and emotional well-being.

Children, particularly boys, who don't bond with a father, grow up to experience diminished self-concept and compromised physical and emotional security.

Children consistently report feeling abandoned when their fathers are not involved in their lives. They often struggle with their emotions and experience episodes of self-loathing.

According to Psychology Today, children with daddy issues can exhibit the following behaviors (this is not a complete list):

Behavioral problems: Fatherless children have more difficulties with social adjustment, and are more likely to report problems with friendships, and manifest behavior problems; many develop a swaggering, intimidating persona in an attempt to disguise their underlying fears, resentments, anxieties and unhappiness.

Truancy and poor academic performance: 71 per cent of high school dropouts are fatherless; have more trouble academically, scoring poorly on tests of reading, mathematics, and thinking skills; are more likely to play truant from school.

Delinquency and youth crime: 85 per cent of youth in prison have an absent father; fatherless children are more likely to offend and go to jail as adults.

Promiscuity and teen pregnancy: Fatherless children are more likely to experience problems with sexual health, becoming teenage parents, and contracting sexually transmitted infection.

Drug and alcohol abuse: Fatherless children are more likely to smoke, drink alcohol, and abuse drugs in childhood and adulthood.

Physical health problems: Fatherless children report significantly more psychosomatic health symptoms and illness such as acute and chronic pain, asthma, headaches, and stomach aches.

Mental health disorders: Father-absent children are consistently overrepresented on a wide range of mental health problems, particularly anxiety, depression, and suicide.

Mortality: Fatherless children are more likely to die as children, and live an average of four years less over the life span.

This has been your Medical Minute.
 

More Info On the Web

Father Absence, Father Deficit, Father Hunger | Psychology Today

Psychological Effects of Growing Up Without a Father

How Women Who Grow Up Without a Father Are Different | RadioMD

Psychology of Fatherless Children
 

DISCLAIMER

Any medical information published on this blog is for your general information only and is not intended as a substitute for informed medical advice. You should not take any action before consulting with your personal physician or a health care provider. Sandrarose.com and its affiliates cannot be held liable for any damages incurred by following information found on this blog.

  • Yup, I said it

    Uh oh Sandra, these momma's are gonna come for you. You stepping on toes 6/11/19. It needs to be addressed though.

  • Seldomseen

    That pic tho........

  • Nita Pie

    As I've gotten older I have noticed my daddy issues, especially when I see my daughters with their father, It not jealousy but just a bit annoyed that my daddy couldnt just sit with me for a few minutes a day and talk to me. My daughter and her father have the best convos.

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Thanks for the heads up. I'm going to be busy writing posts. So if they come for me, please post this: "Single mothers are great. Most of them do the best they can to provide a stable and happy home for their children."

  • tintin

    Ummmm...huh..what is he doing....whats going on here "fuck me daddy" did he type it wrong..

    I have no words let me exit this post

  • DeJeri

    I used to feel like my mother was jealous of the relationship that I had with my father, like it was some type of weird competition.

  • Gloria

    Young thug is such a troll ?????

    I always hear about the damaging effects of having an absent father. Are the effects of an absent mother similar?

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    There are no stats on absent mothers because they are extremely rare.

  • ReadingIsFundamental4Real

    What the hell

  • DeJeri

    My brother was a single dad before he married his current wife. I think in his case his son turned out better than if he was raised by his mother but that's partially because a woman can't teach a boy how to be a man, and he was the better parent.

  • SayWhatNow?

    I've had daddy issues my whole life and I'm 37 years old and just because the next woman got over it does not mean that I have. I didn't realize it until a guy I was dating told me I had abandonment issues and he was right. My donor lives 5 minutes from my job, but would rather ask my sister about my life then stop by and say hello.

  • Sid

    Lol I find this funny for some reason
    He definitely knows what to say to get people talking
    My daddy was was the best daddy anyone can ask for and I’m bat ish crazy lol
    Idk?

  • ReadingIsFundamental4Real

    I was raised by a single father while my mom was out chasing dudes. My sister is like my mom. I broke the cycle cause my kids come above everything including my soul. My dad is an amazing man and the consequence of me not having a mom is that I probably think more like a dude sometimes but having 2 girls has softened me up a bit over the years.

  • jeniefrumdabloc™

    I can't even formulate something good to say with that demon up there as the thumbnail ...... I'm sure the write up is great .... your medical minutes be goodt!!!! This tumbnail with this demon man ... be back on another post .... https://media1.giphy.com/media/jp313yHGzTDBbw5Tg6/giphy.gif

  • SpillyNillie

    Tell us about your crazy....

  • SpillyNillie

    Praying for you, Sis. Everyone is affected differently.

  • doriday

    Absent fathers also complain the most when the mothers ask them to pay their child support

  • SayWhatNow?

    Thank you.

  • SpillyNillie

    I sent my son to live with his dad at 12; hopefully to avoid allllll of this!

  • Alextra Ballard

    Who or what in fvck is that in the pix?

  • doriday

    They are the ones do their grandest to get their support payments terminated even though they barely contributed to their up bringing.

  • doriday

    Absent Fathers also constantly blame the mother for their absence.

  • jeniefrumdabloc™

    That shyt look a hot azz mess ....... whew shyt!

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    It's too late. The crucial formative years are 2-7.

  • Gloria

    Lmao! You ain’t lied tho

  • jeniefrumdabloc™

    Hot azz mess ....

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    Well the blacks in America are done for because single parenthood is cultural now every girl growing up think the right thing is to not allow the father in the child’s life

  • Rayscoty

    Wait.. " Fuck Me Daddy"

    Maybe that's why his Father left..

  • Alextra Ballard

    Lmaoo

  • doriday

    Absent fathers have no current photos of their kids growing up.

  • doriday

    Absent Fathers wait til the kids turn 18 to suddenly appear again.

  • imright

    you did all that writing and got it wrong Sandra?? Thug is trolling ITS WHAT HE DOES??

  • doriday

    Absolutely.

  • Yup, I said it

    Breaking up the family is covert form of Eugenics. Once the man is the home is destabilized. That's why in some cultures if the father dies, his single male relative has to marry the widow for the familys survival.

  • Sacha

    I don't know, that's sounds pretty gay to me?

  • xxxgracious

    Not every girl. I encourage it but he cant look past his mistakes so he refuses to be apart of my child and his other kids lives. I hate to throw him under the bus like this but I think he's like future and Tristan Thompson. Sleeping with all these women knowing he might be a switch hitter lol.

  • Bossy704

    My mom said she was my mother and my father. I left it at that. Found my siblings when I was an adult.

  • doriday

    Absent Fathers drop at intervals throughout the years to spy on the momma. No food, no diaper, no extra gas money.... No money for the baby sitter.. Nothing on hand for the kids.

  • Yup, I said it

    The parent child relationship is critical to self development. That lack never goes away.

  • Raquel

    Although you are correct in your evaluation, I've seen these same sorts of behaviors when both parents are in the picture also. However, these might increase with said father/mother out the picture.

  • Alextra Ballard

    When some do appear they all of a sudden wanna call the shots

  • doriday

    Yes absolutely!!

  • JV

    I doubt it has been studied as thoroughly, but there's plenty of absentee moms in heroin country/areas hardest hit by heroin. I can't tell you how many times for work I'm looking for the parent of such-and-such, and you get the grandparents because the real parents are junkies and don't have their kids anymore. I will say that it is unusual to get a father and the mother is an absentee.

  • DroneRivers

    He is so unattractive Bless his heart.

  • xxxgracious

    My father is retired now. He stepped up big time and took my son in. Some nights he stays with me and other nights hes with my dad. Dad already got the kid in swimming, Taekwondo, and soccer and he aint even 4 yet. My kids dad is in the army. Stationed a few hours away but dont give a damn about him. They garnish his checks monthly so I guess he considers that coparenting smh.

  • Yup, I said it

    He grew up in an unstable home raised by women and he was put in a group home with a bunch of other fatherless lost boys to develop into men when the women thought they werent cute anymore and couldnt handle him. He craves a mother and a fathers love and from his own mouth he said all they did in the group home was play dice and "f×ck" Assume they were screwing each other because it was a boys group home. They didn't have parental love and uses sex to replace that desire for love. His trolling is a cry for help.

  • Nita Pie

    Its not jealousy, I know my place but I know I dont have that relationship with my daddy that she has with hers and I wanted that.

  • Gloria

    And it’s sad to say but in a lot cases, the woman will see signs of her partner’s deadbeat or trifling ways early on and STILL procreates with the clown. I have some friends this happened to. Like girl, are you really surprised that he is the man he showed you he was??? ???

  • Ne Ba
  • Guess Who

    He seems as if he carries the stench of a piss soaked mattress and stale cigarettes.

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    That was absolutely not trolling NO man would ever type something like that for fun

  • SpillyNillie

    My son has had a relationship with his father since birth. We simply lived in separate households. I sent him to live with his dad as a young man so his father can guide him on being a man. Something I can't teach him.

  • aidenplays Burrell

    Sandra- you are correct on this issue. Fatherless sons not only affect the kids involved, it affects marriages as well. It’s difficult for a man who was never shown love and commitment, show that to someone else. As the fatherless son gets older, those wounds doesn’t disappear, they rear its ugly head. I am married to a fatherless son, and although he is a great father to our children, he struggles with himself and our marriage, due to not feeling wanted by his dad?

  • Ne Ba

    Perpetuating that narrative is the problem. Instead of fixing the issue of broken families and poor relationships, we continue this "blacks can't because of this and that" trauma p0rn. Stop preaching and keeping the cycle of dysfunctional men and women procreating and generational curses. Why not be role models and show the current and new generation how to be in a long term relationship and create whole families.

  • Yup, I said it

    I agree but he's not a "man" he's bought into this gender fluidity mess. That's why he wears dresses and paints his nails. He thinks its cute, funny and cool like alot of millienals. But he is a very damaged individual.

  • GAPeach

    I'm viewing this Keynote presentation that they are making us watch at work. Talk about boring.

  • datjerk

    Yet he does just that.

  • Yup, I said it

    I feel you. They get confused about their role in the household. That's why alot of them will be overly controlling or weak and act like another child. Society is in shambles.

  • Myopinion

    Well, they are now saying that the remedy for this Polygyny(polygamy for men). They are saying that if women consider becoming sister wives that our children wouldn't have to be without a father and that they will have more adults in their live to receive the nurturing that is needed to thrive....ijs what THEY say...What ya'll think?

  • DeJeri

    Look at the hot mess posted above. You know he has 4 kids and he's probably not done. Who can look at that and think that he would be father material, especially with his homo tendencies.

  • CookieMobster

    Well, my daddy died when I was 5 yrs old. I have serious daddy issues. Point blank and period. My husband told me one time when he got to heaven he was gonna have to thank my daddy for that lol.

  • Renee26

    Do better fellas

    I wonder what type of issues Yung Thugs kids will have

  • Yup, I said it

    That's what we have going on right now. Multiple kids spread amongst multiple women. They will still be out of wedlock because polygamy is illegal in the USA and if these men can't handle 1 wife and 1 child why would anyone expect them to become father Abraham and manage a tribe?

  • Tahj

    This photo LOL smh... I dont know if its because Im getting old. Im really thinking back.. like did we do stuff like this... LOL this new generation is like... I dont know what to say. But I pray we can recover as a culture and as a community from this stupidity.

  • 9 Mind

    As dysfunctional as my family may be, I can say having both parents makes a huge difference especially when in comes self-worth and value.

  • PLEASEDontTellMe

    OT: (and you're welcome garden) Sandra can we get a confirmation on whether Tamar Braxton is in the process of signing contracts with RHOA/BRAVO? I hate this idea btw

  • aidenplays Burrell

    Yesss.... I had to learn the hard way that they require a lot of attention.... and it’s even worse during mid-life for them, because they blame all of their failures on their childhood. I love my marriage, but I would probably reconsider knowing what I know now....and this is my first time commenting on any blog... so that tells you how strongly I feel about this subject.

  • https://nylapoprush.com/twitch twitch.tv/NylaPop

    Honestly, I wouldn't mind being a sister wife. But I've thought like this long before it became a popular thing. And it would have to be real under God - not any of this polyamorous shyt where it's really just an excuse for everyone to be having orgies and fuqing each other.

  • Yup, I said it

    My goodness. My prayers are with you because its hard having to carry the cross for his parents transgressions. But at some point to avoid damaging his own kids the man has got to stop having a pity party for what they didn't have and "do better" childhood only last for 18 yrs but you have people who are still pity partying about their missed childhood 3for 50 and 60 yrs.

  • Renee Bee
  • aidenplays Burrell

    Thank you soo much. It’s definitely teaching me patience!

  • Kimberly King

    I like some of Thugger's music. That's really all I got for him. Don't we all have a lil daddy issues in us? Lol Sh*t one of my best friend's / sorors has daddy issues and her mom and dad were MARRIED. Hell, they're still married as we speak. I know I have them. That's why I always end up with older man. It's probably the reason why I don't want kids ... I don't wanna share my husband with nobody ! Not even the babies.

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    Well first off this current and future generation don’t think nothing wrong at all with what they are doing

  • NeverSurprised

    Or, women could simply WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE TO HAVE CHILDREN.

    Heres a shocking game plan for black women: 1) Finish high school WITHOUT GETING PREGNANT.. 2) Go to a four-year college WITHOUT GETTING PREGNANT. 3), Go to grad school or med school or law school. At one of those institutions of higher learning, meet a man who has NOT spent time in jail or impregnating multiple women, but instead has been laser focused on creating a successful life. THEN .after the two of you have careers and investments, you have a baby.

    Not ONE of the men and women I met in law school had chilldren. We all went straight from college to law school and had children AFTER we started our careers.

    In life, we all can either make CONSCIOUS DECISIONS about the kinds of lives we want, or we can just let life "happen" to us. If you voluntarily settle for less ( and that includes sharing a man), then less is what you shall have.

  • leapyearpisces

    Sandra, if you post this picture everyday while I am eating my lunch like you did today, I just MITE lose the rest of the 15 pounds I want to lose by July 4th. That picture is good for both birth and weight control. I think I am gonna go get spayed and become anorexic. You are TRULY the gift that KEEPS ON giving, Sandy Mae.

  • CardiB’sAbs

    ? oh lawd!

  • Myopinion

    lol...hehehe

  • NeverSurprised

    Your first comment is an excellent and insightful one.

  • Renee26

    He's talkin to Baby... He kisses his sons on da mouf

  • Myopinion

    Waiting until marriage does not guarantee he's going to stay...there are plenty wait until marriage women who has gotten left. Why do you particularly talk about black women, when there is a reality show full of white teen moms called TEEN MOM?

  • aidenplays Burrell

    Thank you very much!

  • Myopinion

    But that's the thing the mindset in which this kind of family setting takes place. Most often it is about lust though.

  • Myopinion

    Well there excuse is if women stop being so selfish and look at it as a means to an end then men could be better husbands and fathers to there children.

  • leapyearpisces

    OT: Another bootleg movie review from me, but I don't know how in the world, two of the most pompous azz people in Hollywood could make such an ORGANIC, and raw, movie, but if you haven't seen it, A Star is Born is amazing. Very good movie, and the end of the "ending" of the movie. OMG. My heart...

  • Ni Ni

    Nope, we mostly had respectable gays that kept their business private.

  • SugarFoot a.k.a Ty
  • jeniefrumdabloc™

    Love Gaga and Brad ... they did an excellent job

  • Kimberly King

    ???

  • NeverSurprised

    I am focusing on black women because: 1) 72% of black children are raised by single mothers, while only 2t% of white children are, and 2) I don't give two sh!ts about what happens to white people. I care about the destruction of the BLACK family.

    There are never any guarantees of anything in life. But giving a relationship TIME to develop, sstting some ground rules for the KIND OF MAN you want to father your children, choosing a man who has already devoted years of his life to building a future -- those are all factors that will help a woman decide if he is father material. If he has proven himself over time, then even if the marriage doesn't endure, his presence in his child's life probably will.

  • GAPeach

    I can remember friends of mine dying their hair with koolaid back in the day. Yeah, we did stupid things.

  • MsPam

    Totally agree, it was a great movie.

  • leapyearpisces

    OMG!!!!! Didn't they???? I was really blown away, and you know my ole emotional Pisces self, the end of that movie...when she was singing and then they cut away to him....CHILE....I was done....THAT did me in.....that movie deserved every award it got.

  • Alextra Ballard

    Lol? she truly is

  • iWasteTime

    It was great!!
    I've seen it multiple times. Catch something new each time.
    The end took me out and I thought the Grammy's part was crazy

  • Yup, I said it

    I think the problem would solve itself of we stopped being Men vs. Women and truly start seeing each other as "partners." Partners in parenthood, partners in finances, partners in life. Unfortunately as Sandra points out, society is becoming very narcissistic. I don't see that changing anytime soon

  • Yup, I said it

    Waiting until stable is the key. We tend to make better decisions and have more direction. Every woman I met that has multie baby daddys show a progession in their choice men. The first kids daddy is usually the sorriest piss poor excuse of a man. Plus once a woman is stable with a job and home she typically has raised her standards in men also.

  • leapyearpisces

    So I watched it twice. The first time, I missed THAT part when he was at the podium because I looked away from that whole scene. I couldn't take it because I am the type that gets second hand embarassment, but I caught it the second time...heartbreaking.

  • jeniefrumdabloc™

    I do agree !!

  • https://nylapoprush.com/twitch twitch.tv/NylaPop

    Which is why I'm not involved in a polygamist marriage

  • Y’all Jealous Cuz I’m Prudy

    This write up is sadly accurate...on another note why does a roach come to mind, when I look at the pic above https://media1.giphy.com/media/l2Sqhk9pFY9THbtQY/giphy.gif

  • DroneRivers

    I was watching Watch What Happens Live recently and when Andy asked her something about her possibly being on RHOA she played real coy. It would be such a train wreck (and I would watch!) cuz she can't seem to get along with anybody but her son.

  • Tahj

    I guess since we didn’t have the World Wide Web it wasn’t noticeable outside of the neighborhood lol

  • iWasteTime

    Very and how hard she rode, even when he was mean to her! It was good!

  • leapyearpisces

    Yep! it was like watching a REAL relationship, not a movie...I mean even that argument was like a believable argument...like did these mofos even use scripts????? That manager was a butthole. HE made the difference.

  • YellowSauce

    If it took the both of us to create a human ... it should also take the both of us to raise the human ... BOTH parts are equally important

  • Dowoop

    Lmfao at your GIF and that twitching leg at the end.

  • PLEASEDontTellMe

    She's sooooooooooooooooooooo toxic with her family, I feel strongly that the depths it would go with non-family members would be beyond tragically disgusting

  • GAPeach

    I agree! Everything is on blast now.

  • Dowoop

    Have you watched the show seeking sister wife? I can honestly say the black couple on there had me intrigued with their thinking.

  • Dowoop

    I know a man whose father was and still is married to his mother but his father never acted like a real father to him. He is an excellent grandfather though and i think it bothers my friend even though he's too proud to admit it.

  • https://nylapoprush.com/twitch twitch.tv/NylaPop

    No I've never seen it. What is it on?

  • https://nylapoprush.com/twitch twitch.tv/NylaPop

    Yeah no. Straight men don't do that.

  • Topic Influencer

    I thought that Jeffrey has a dad. He said his dad spanked him for trying to wear dresses to school. And he should have listened to his dad growing up and wouldn't have ended up in juice. I mean not my M.O. but know plenty who are not down with the supposed gay agenda. He also buys his pops things and tried to help pops lose weight.

  • Angela Marsh

    You are indeed right. I grew up without both of my parents, raised by my grandmother, she let me do anything I wanted. I dropped out of school when I became pregnant. I was so misguided, around so many ignorant people in the hood, that thought this behavior was acceptable. I was embarrassed, got my GED, went to Techincal school to years , certified in Criminal Justice, I now work in law enforcement, married for 19 years, and I am living a beautiful life, because of God first and foremost, and I made a choice to get away from the nonsense, trends, ignorant family members and friends, left the state. Life has never been better. I can't change my beginning, but I did everything I could to change my ending.....my truth

  • NeverSurprised

    The issue is NOT simply absentee fathers -- it is the QUALITY of men the women are choosing. If you get pregnant by a man who already has multiple children by multiple women in multiple homes, basic math should tell you he will not have the time to be a real father. Also, if you see that he isn't spending quality time with his existing children, why would you choose him to father YOUR child?

    Many black women spend more time deciding which nail salon to use than they do choosing the man who will father their child. ASK SOME QUESTIONS. HOW HAS HE LIVED HIS LIFE? WHAT HAS HE ACCOMPLISHED? If the answer is "nothing", then why choose him for the most important role in your life -- as father to your child?

  • Y’all Jealous Cuz I’m Prudy

    How I wish I had a life size bug swatter..lmao!

  • missmiami305
  • PrettyMeka08

    Happy Early Father’s Day to all the awesome MEN who are in their children’s lives providing, protecting & guiding.
    -Daddy’s Girl.

  • Ms..N

    Its sad that advice is always given too women to pick better partners! Although shouldn't boys II Men be raised properly so they can become better independent career minded men! It takes a village so even though a father is not in a child's household their are still many role models that should or could be role models into these children's lives! I.E uncles,great uncles,grandfathers,teachers, coaches.

  • abby500

    My nephew’s father died when he was 1 year old. How do you fix this? I am raising him and he’s having some of those issues. I’m single so it’s been just me and him for the last 13 years. I promised him no matter what we go through I am NOT giving up on him.

  • Slim Goodie

    I feel you on that. I lost my father when I was 3 and my younger brother was 1. I came out alright from it but my brother has definitely struggled. Hats off to you! Maybe you just make it your mission to ensure he have strong male role models around him. Also look into Kate's Club which is a program in Atlanta where they focus on kids who have lost a parent as a child. He is going to need some strong male figures around him though.

  • Dowoop

    TLC

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    So Jefferey was Gender Fluid before the phrase was coined, you say?? I believe I vaguely remember that interview..?

  • Bea Mack,Aka Steel Vagina
  • Yup, I said it

    Prayers, unfortunately the kids who lose their fathers are really slighted because there's such an overwhelming need in our community for stand in fathers that the truly fatherless kids feel the shortage most.

  • Ticklegirl

    I agree! ...and I firmly believe that women aren’t great at picking standup mates, whom eventually become fathers to their children, because the women didn’t have great active fathers in their lives. How would you really know to pick a great mate, if you had a poor or non-existent representation of a father? Who are helping these fatherless daughters with their trauma? This absence affects sons AND daughters.

  • Yup, I said it

    Young people have always done stupid things out of curiosity and ignorance. Now they do it for the "gram" and attention seeking. Curiosity killed the cat, but attention seeking made it die a painful prolonged death.

  • Renee Bee

    Go granddaddy! Go! ?

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs
  • Myopinion

    True...

  • Topic Influencer

    Yes ma'am

  • Myopinion

    Is it really sharing a man or is it Nation Building if all parties are on board and have an innerstanding about the value of there Poly union. It worked years ago for men why couldn't it work now in the right setting?

  • Myopinion

    Bravo! I like to hear stories of redemption from our people, but look at the disarray of the black community. There is a systemic oppression that still plagues us that we can not shake and it's been with us far too long. We need to band together for our children's sake.

  • Myopinion

    I whole heartedly agree with you but, realistically we have been singing that song for many many years to no avail. So what do we do? Obviously telling black women this is a fight we have been trying to win forever. Our black men are OUT OF ORDER so this accounts for a lot of the struggles we encounter in our communities. I don't always agree with statistics either because most are bias against us anyway. I honestly believe most statistics about us are fabricated and/or pumped up to scare us on many things they say suffers the black families. This is what keep us stuck in this disrupted mind set.

  • Anji

    Don't know his interests but find mentors. Coaches, church and check Black Engineering Society. Positive Black male energy.

  • Cali

    Then it sounds like you’re doing your best which counts the most and what he’ll remember. You don’t have to be perfect. Although a father is best, Many men grow up just fine without their fathers either due to death or he just wasn’t $hit and needed to disappear. My #1 piece of Advice - DO NOT RAISE HIM IN THE GHETTO, DO NOT RAISE HIM AROUND N*IGGAS. PERIOD. That’s the hardest stain to remove a ghetto #I’mnot responsibleformyselfthewhitemandid itmyonlyoptionsaretoselldopeand
    joinagangwith5babbymamas mentality.

  • Zeta Aggie

    Try finding him a mentor. Obama’s Foundation has some options.

  • DeepThinker

    And ask for a co-signer. ?

  • Yup, I said it

    I wish my parents could have just arranged a marriage for me. My father would make sure the groom was LOADED because he would want to get his hands on some of that money too. Plus he would make would sure the guy was nice looking because he don't want no ugly grandkids.

  • abby500

    He has a strong role model in his uncle, who is in his twenties so they can relate some. But in the beginning it was me and my premenopausal self.... so we were like Ike and Tina. But that’s my ?

  • ItsMeIvory

    something in that ATL water for sure....daddy no daddy.

  • Malificent

    They need to bring arranged marriages and take away online dating or just dating period!

  • Vonda K

    Interesting article to say the least.
    Young Thug is a mess and loves to troll and stir the pot.
    I grew up in low income housing projects and most of the boys there had zero or limited connections with bio dad. Fast forward 25 yes and these men are now in 40’s and early 50’s and are very present in the lives of their children. I work I’m local schools and I see the daddies at the events, coaching and Iinvolved with children. I personally know many men who had made dedicated effort to break the chain of dysfunction and be present. My own brothers and cousins are prime examples of Black men involved and raising up their children because they know what it felt like. Yes, we have men who are trash but more men are not. Also, I worked in Child Protective services and I seem fathers step in and resume custody and raising of their seed.
    One case the mother was in streets and state took temporary custody and ready to place child in foster care. I dug deep in case it’s and some how found the bio Daddy in Chicago. Called him and he said he’ll have one ticket for his daughter waiting at airlines. He said he’d been looking for child for two years. Long write up but Daddies do matter and Black men are all villains.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    Not all men are heathens and really do enjoy being active dads. I actually think my Dad is better now that we're both older.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    Get him involved in sports or some other extracurricular activity that he likes. He needs to stay busy and involved in something productive. No matter how much he may whine it'll keep him out of trouble.

  • Malificent

    Not true! Men who don't have a mothers love can't love anybody!!!

  • ClaireHuxtable

    Men need to be productive. They need no down time to find something negative to do.
    Plus they've got all that testosterone...they need to be actively involved.

  • Vonda K

    I meant not all.
    And also enjoy their grandkids even more.

  • ClaireHuxtable
  • ClaireHuxtable

    Sounds like he had his priorities in order l0l!

  • Yup, I said it

    Alot of my Indian friends had arranged marriages and they really are happy together. It makes sense though because your parents probably know you better than you know yourself. They look for a what you need not necessarily what you want. At 20 I wanted a guy with a nice car, some waves and a nice,strong stroke. That's all I required. I couldn't fatham what type of spouse I would need 20 yrs later. Plus they will do all the research of the family and his background so they know they arent picking a fraud or scammer. Ain't that what ppl pay Plenty of Fish, Tindr, GRINDR (for some ppl) to do?

  • Zeta Aggie

    Well i spoiled my boys and I’m catching hell. Worked to give them the finer things and now you would think they are rich white kids

    Teach him respect and you will do just fine lol. I wish i would have just laid down the law rather than always have a discussion about everything. Good luck mama!

  • missmiami305

    Truth! I grew up in a two parent household and etc. However, my father is a much better grandfather than he was a father to me(more active vs career). I guess it comes with age, wisdom and retirement.

  • Vonda K

    Yes so true. It’s wonderful to watch.

  • Vonda K

    A few friends and I were just discussing this. If you asked me this question a decade ago I would have said Hell No!
    Your elders would ‘vet’ the prospect like the FBI. Most of the time they already knew their genealogy enough to say yes or no. A work with many Somali, and Indians and I’m low key envious how despite living in Amerikka they’ve kept many of their cultural norms.

  • Yup, I said it

    Those arranged marriages are a business transaction. The family is shamed if their kid breaks that marriage. So of the son cheats or has a baby outside the marriage. He's has shamed his whole family and sometimes they have to pay the brides family for wasting her damn time with foolishness. If your his and watches too much porn, go talk to his daddy. That will stop, ASAP. Dude don't,wanna work or be responsible with the money. Go tell his momma. His next paycheck so be in your hands.When we do it on our own,we have to put up with so much shit and its like an uphill battle trying to have a healthy relationship and like swimming upstream to keep your family together.

  • leapyearpisces

    Yes! A lovely love story. Heartwrenching as well!

  • leapyearpisces

    She know she wrong for THAT close up pic.

  • the guest

    Beautiful and very true comment. Thank you for sharing!

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    Interesting....

  • Applebootay

    Nothing new here....

  • Ms. Jackson

    He's very weird to me.

  • RealATLPeach36

    Like don’t leave your son alone with him.....

    Silence of the Lambs weird

  • RealATLPeach36

    Thank you for you hard work and protecting as many kids as you can. I don’t see how you do it, but someone has to.

    I want to say thank you.

  • Angela Marsh

    You are absolutely right. We have to do better. We have to go back to God's original word. We are the Israelites, the people that they talk about that were in the wilderness for 40 years, lost. In our case, 400 years. People may not like what Kanye was saying about slavery being a choice, but there is a lot of truth to that. We have got to get to the point of having standards, and not dealing with nonsense. Look at what is happening with our community! We have control over what happens. We have to say "no to bad behaviors. This is what happens, when we sit back and say nothing. Peace and blessings.

  • Jennifer

    Comment of the year! ?

  • Jennifer

    Buffalo Bill in Black ????

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again" LOL that movie freaks me out!!!

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Thats my movie!!! The chemistry between Bradley and Lady Gaga is amazing and shot well on screen...made me tear up because men dont even wanna give you a tissue if you sneeze nowadays...

  • Topic Influencer

    Thanks so much for all of this. Im tired of the old ass narrative of black men aint shit when it comes to their kids. Exhausted of it.

  • Myopinion

    You are absolutely right we are Yah's Chosen and until we turn back to him our people as a whole will continue to suffer. Kanye was saying it in the way of slaves just lying down just accepting it, not with true understanding of the Holy manuscript. It's a choice because we have chosen to be disobedient to our creator and accepting the heathen ways.

  • Vonda K

    ???
    I see and know more Black men who are good to their kids than not.
    The narrative about famous black men not marrying or dating back women!
    Looking at NBA finals most on court have Black girlfriends or wives.

    This divide and conquer must stop!

  • Angela Marsh

    u got it! It's all about the light. Keeping the commandments and etc. We have to do better, until we change our ways- this will be our fate as a people.

  • Myopinion

    Selah

  • RealATLPeach36

    Lol

  • RealATLPeach36

    Okay lol

  • abby500

    Oh yeah. I have already steered us and our lifestyle away from that unfortunate slice of the African American population.

  • abby500

    I’ll say it for you: He’s F-UGLY as all hell

  • abby500

    Dang Sandy????? ????

  • EMILY POST

    You think! The lack of father figures and the Full out attack on boys...

  • dontgetblocked

    When a black man abandons his child, he abandons his race!

  • DroneRivers

    LMAO

  • Ali Zafar