If you missed the Season 2 premiere of Fantasia For Real last night, there are 2 really good recaps here and here.
In the opening scenes we get to see Fantasia’s beautiful daughter, Zion Quari Barrino, who appears to be a happy, well-adjusted little girl, despite the circumstances.
My favorite recap is by Rich over at VH1 blog. His pics of the infamous Aunt Bunny are hilarious! But apparently Rich couldn’t give us all the dirt due to the fact that he cashes checks issued to him by VH1.
TVgasm gives us a more thorough rundown of what went down during last night’s episode. The following recap is a mash up of Rich’s screenshots and TVgasm’s color commentary.
Please note that the following text are not my words.
Fantasia’s kicked the family out of the house and she’s ready for another season! I think this show should be called Fantasia 2: Poor Tiny! She’s all alone with her dog and her kid. And now she finally gets to do it her way! I think anyone who reads any kind of gossip mag knows that Fantasia’s way is pretty skanky, so YAY!!! Do it your way!
This was taped before her new album came out, so she’s all nervous since the last album didn’t go so well. I think it’s because most of the songs on it were really bad. Or because everyone’s totally against her and she’s a victim. Tasia likes to talk about how beat down she is all the time, but I refuse to feel sorry for anyone with this house:
She is told that this CD is gonna get her that Grammy! She actually already has a Grammy, but it’s for a recording of “Summertime”, which she sang on American Idol. Hon, I think that’s a hint: sing songs that don’t suck. Even if they’re ninety years old. Tasia starts this preview in a super great mood. She’s been waiting a long time for this album and it better do good!
We take a brief detour to Teeny’s new house, where he explains to Aunt Bunny that he just redid his fireplace to go with the otherwise “feng-shuiness” of his house. He is also the proud owner of chinchilla rug:
And then Aunt Bunny shows up.
Uh oh…
She doesn’t have much nice to say.
Bunny’s been hearing some things on the internet that she doesn’t like. Hey, Aunt Bunny. How bout just being happy for Tasia that she’s even being written about on the internet? When was the last time that even happened? I think when Simon paid for her to take her house out of foreclosure. Embarrassing! At least this time she’s getting laid.
Tasia is confronted about media reports that she met a married man in a store. She doesn’t deny it, but does add that he was separated. Then Aunt Bunny says “giiiiirl” with such emotion that she just made every queen in America bow his head in shame. We seriously need to practice. In one “giiiiiirl”, she displayed.
disgust, shame, anger, sadness, humor, betrayal, disappointment, and hunger
She tells Tasia it’s a big no, period. Then she yells at her in the car. Then Fantasia cries and tells us that she’s been in a lot of relationships that have been bad for her. None of which were her fault. Now let’s see if she passed her GED! She did!! “Now I have my high school diploma!” Um…no you don’t, but you can at least apply to community college now and learn welding or something, so congrats!
Tasia gets all depressed cuz it’s all over the news that she’s a man stealing ho and she’s being sued for serious dollars by T-Mob Wife. She’s so sad that she goes nuts and puts lipstick all over her face like Diane Ladd in Wild at Heart.
Tasia is beat down, you guys! You can tell cuz she’s sobbing and talking in a super low drugged out raspy voice and she got a bowl cut. Happy people don’t get bowl cuts.
Then she takes too much aspirin and gets sent to the emergency room! Lamest rock n’ roll suicide ever. Now look, I am a HUGE Fantasia fan and have all of her albums. Even stuff from YouTube that I have converted into MP3s. We can talk about how gay that is later. My point is, I LOVE HER. Suicide is never funny. But isn’t it kind of a coincidence that she took too much aspirin like a week before her album dropped? Not that I’m condemning the move. She totally won the week. Which means she’s finally learned to use the press to her advantage. So YAY! YOU WIN!!
In the hospital, she decides that she hasn’t fulfilled her destiny of refrigerator repair or welding so she’ll keep living. Then she gives speeches in concerts about how put upon she’s been but she takes a lickin and keeps on kickin! Pooooooooor yooooooooou. Then money rains down on her head. This girl is a freakin mess. But she can sing like a squeaky angel! Keep up the crazy girl!
The next set of faces belongs solely to Aunt Bunny. Fantasia takes her to a pole-dancing class…
We’re treated Fantasia’s take on the Fish Tail…
…but more entertaining is Aunt Bunny’s…
…and the most entertaining thing is Aunt Bunny’s near constant stream of incredulous looks. If she’s this aghast at women pole-dancing for fitness (or whatever…), I can’t even imagine the conniption she’d have if she saw women pole-dancing for dollars.
Peep the video below
