The music video for Trey Songz' sultry new ballad "Sex Ain't Better Than Love" premiered Thursday. The message in this song is one that you young ladies need to hear.
Sex and love are not the same. When you meet a man or woman who makes your heart do flips -- that's not love.
Many of you think you're in love because the sex is good, or because he or she swept you off your feet when you first met. But chances are you're not really in love. The words "whirlwind romance" are a red flag.
Love has nothing to do with sex. Love doesn't even begin to come into play until the effects of dopamine wear off.
You have a better chance at a lifelong relationship with a man who doesn't come on to you hot and heavy when you first meet.
Couples who get married too soon, within a few months of meeting each other, usually discover that they were never in love when they file for a divorce a year later.
So how do you know when it's really love and not the dopamine? If you think about sex every time you think of him or her, it's most likely not love.
Dopamine begins to fade within 6 months to 2 years. If the dopamine attracted him or her to you, he or she will soon be gone when it fades.
If it's real love, he or she will stick around long after the dopamine fades.
That doesn't mean you should withhold sex from him until he proves his love for you. It means you are able to make better decisions about your future with him once you understand the difference between dopamine and love.