Kobe Bryant

The NBA’s most famous narcissist is calling it quits after this season.

Kobe Bryant, of the Los Angeles Lakers, announced his decision to retire after this season with a poem on Derek Jeter‘s website, The Player’s Tribune on Sunday.

Kobe Bryant has been a non-factor for the LA Lakers for the past few years due to nagging injuries and his advanced age for an athlete (37).

As always happens with narcissistic athletes who overstay their welcome in their sport, his body forced him to leave.

There is no sadness in this farewell; scores of basketball fans are happy to see Kobe go.

After all is said and done on this earth, Kobe’s final epitaph will read: He was selfish on the court; arrogant off the court, and mean to that hotel desk clerk in Colorado.