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Fantasia says more women are single these days because too many women want to be leaders rather than walk alongside their men.

The 35-year-old American Idol winner discussed gender roles in an interview with the Breakfast Club on Monday, Sept. 16.

"We need more men to stand up and lead the way," she said. "Most women are trying to be the leader, that's why you can't find a man. You can't be the king in the house. Fall back and be the queen and let your man lead the way."

The mom-of-2, who is happily married to Kendall Taylor, continued:

"I feel like it's a generational thing, and we can talk and we can go real deep on that, I don't need to start that. But it's a generational curse in how society has placed our men, and women have to stand up and be the mother and the father and the provider. So now, you're so bad you can’t be told nothing that when the right man comes, you lose him because you're trying to be the man."

She said team work is the key to a happy marriage and that women should "learn to submit" and let men be natural born leaders.

"At the end of the day I'm the neck, my man's the head. So he can't make any moves without his wife. It all works together. But you can't be the head of the house. You got to let the man be the head of the house. But it's a generational thing and it's what we've been taught. Stand up, be strong… And a dude comes and everything about you is a man.

"You have to learn how to submit. You can still be a queen. A king needs his queen. It's certain things that he can't see that we see. Anybody play chess? We work together. But the queen has to sit back and allow the king to be the king."

 

  • Stay Homie

    100% Agree with this sistah

  • PC Easley

    I see she still stupid.

  • http://batman-news.com Roderick2011

    Taking relationship advise from Fanny is like taking weight loss tips from Rosie O'Donnell.

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs
  • Let them eat cake

    OKay adulteress....never did like her..

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    Sandra! You forgot to add her zodiac sign!

  • MsVAllDay

    The first comment I was going to make was not ok so I'm keeping it to myself but the way the roses in this here blog is setup I know I will see it shortly.

  • Let them eat cake

    lool

  • SaltineCrackers

    ?

  • SpillyNillie

    It's important to allow the RIGHT man to LEAD. I'm not following a fool, a liar, a cheat, a manipulative, self serving man, etc. We have to be on one accord and I have to trust that it's wise and beneficial to follow your lead. I think that's the part she left out, that you can't allow just any man to lead.

  • LoveChild

    Another penis pandering black female baby mama with no fucking sense. She gets played day and night by black males. It’s pretty obvious black males don’t really love and respect her that’s why she’s overcompensating with the penis pandering.

    She just got canceled.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    I agree!! I just told a female associate of mine that even as mother we sometimes don’t know how to stop parenting and some women will treat their man like a child by delegating and talking to him like he is one of the children. I also spoke about how women can emasculate men too. So I agree all the way with this!

  • Tinytoon
  • oshh16

    Exactly.....those were my thoughts yesterday when this was discussed on The Real.

  • Maxx

    I have been saying that women have been focusing so hard on the Feminist movement & trying to be equal's that we lost our ability to let a man lead at home. It's okay for work in many ways, but not for the home where the man is the head. I have a girlfriend who for the life of me, I cannot understand why after 15 years I have NEVER seen her in a committed relationship. She keeps a job, cooks, cleans, great personality, and I know she is a freak. YET, she is always the other woman (which I would never share a man willingly, so I don't know how she does it, but who am I to judge?) and I know it is because she is too headstrong & not willing to give a man the opportunity to lead. She is so scared to let a man take the lead, that they leave running with their tales between their legs. Women we have to find a balance of strength & vulnerability.

  • I Have A Chronic In-House Man
  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    It's important to allow the RIGHT man to LEAD. I'm not following a fool, a liar, a cheat, a manipulative, self serving man, etc. And might I add if he is all those things LEAVE HIM WHERE HE STANDS ain’t no fixing or working on those issues

  • deidre martin

    There is a very important part of that excerpt that is missing.---?????

    Many women would willingly give over control to a significant other whom they deeply trust, unfortunately, there is deep healing needed within our communities to even foster an environment where we feel safe enough to let down our guard and let someone lead.?????

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    Opp I take that back for some reason I thought she was a July baby turns out she’s a cancer like Tiny TI wife

  • Jazzy

    I know some people will have an issue with what she said but in my opinion, she is 100% right. Good teaching Fantasia.

  • Blaque Mahogany

    I just bought tickets to her show. I've never been before, I'm really excited.

    OnT: I agree with everything she said.

  • chan chan

    Welllll she said nothing wrong. Fantasia if you’re reading my comment, save your breath baby girl. The only time some women want a husband is when it’s someone else’s husband, they’ve hit the wall, or everyone around them is getting married.

  • I Have A Chronic In-House Man

    Yall remma that time some crazy ass Rose found Fanny baby daddy now closed bail bonds business online and called up there? Free Ya Self Bail Bonding.

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    She must be an August Leo ??

  • Dr. P

    I'm married and I know that my husband is the head and I'm the neck. Jointly we make sound decisions, separately he makes sound decisions. I have NO problem allowing my husband to lead me. He's successful at home and a successful Army Officer, a natural leader. Too many women want a man-child that they can curse out and disrespect on the regular. IMO...

  • Virgoqween

    Can somebody give me an example of letting a man lead? I’m genuinely curious not tryna be smart at all

  • chan chan

    I agree

  • Maxx

    I am not sure why you are so against a woman learning at any age how to better communicate & allow some vulnerability while building a strong bond with a man. You sound like you are bitter. You should never turn your back on a whole category of people based on age, gender, sexuality, race, or any other bias. People are individuals.

  • Jazzy

    What in the world are you talking about?

  • I Have A Chronic In-House Man

    Its really REALLY good. I caught her when she came with Tyrese and nem and another time too. Have fun! I wanted to go but the date is on a work night this time.

  • http://batman-news.com Roderick2011

    The 'feminist movement' has nothing to do with why black women are the way they are, but keep blaming the game.
    LOL

  • chan chan

    Actually she’s the best person to learn from since she made many mistakes and learned from them. She’s tryna help other women before they end up down the same road she WAS on.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    ????????

  • MSGREENMINUSTHEENVY

    HUH?! I am so lost at your comment? why the hate?

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    ???
    Messy Boots

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    It’s closed now? Dang! Yea that married man she got pregnant by and his wife sued her ?????

  • Curtis

    She's absolutely right, women forget their man isn't their child to boss around, they say they are STRONG blk women, they lack that femine touch and never let man take charge. I don't know whether blk women know they come out too bossy and no man want to deal with that.

  • Seldomseen

    I luvs Fanny God knows I do, but I ain’t letting her tell me nothing about relationships or phonics.

  • Virgoqween

    In what circumstances do you find yourself needing a leader in a relationship? (Not being sarcastic I really am curious)

  • I Have A Chronic In-House Man

    She is a Cancer I thought.

  • oshh16

    According to him on a daily basis here, if you a single woman over 40 you SOL.
    :-/

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs
  • Jazzy

    I agree. The only reason I'm able to submit to my husband is because I've seen and heard him pray of decisions that pertain to our family. He makes mistakes, but he also make a lot of good decisions. His heart is in the right place which makes it a lot easier to follow him as he follows Christ.

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Im all for a great man leading if he has good intentions with us as a couple but a single woman cant go around being led by every clown azz niccas who approaches them with 2 cents in his pocket... I know alot of brothas who swear they are leaders or alphas until it comes to paying a bill or when something detrimental happens...Mothers have babied their sons to the point that they are now 35+ screaming for respect but cant even keep their dyck in their pants...they expect their women to act like Michelle Obama when their out in the streets acting like Flavor Flav...Great men who have a fair balance of faith, family and respect are hard to come by...

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    Truuuuu I’m sure Fannie can relate cuz she had a baby by a married man

  • I Have A Chronic In-House Man

    I sure...I mean that Rose sure the hell IS messy

  • Maxx

    I didn't place any blame as an excuse, I placed a name to or gave a reason why some woman think the way they do. They are hyped up by the media & other woman who do not believe in letting a man lead because they are so focused on being STRONG & not letting a man do this way or that way that we move to fast & don't allow a man to show he is able to have our back & take the lead & be honest and nurturing. We are so quick to attack anytime we don't agree or like something.

  • Jazzy

    Let her past stay in the past they way you would like your past mistakes to be thrown in the sea of forgetfulness. People make mistakes people are NOT their mistakes.

  • Jazzy

    She's made her mistakes but she's learned.

  • Blaque Mahogany

    How old do you date again? I've been thinking about taking my azz down here to this old man bar with the rich cars and get scooped by one of those old azz men. I want to try dating an older more established man, but I've honestly never seen one that didn't have that "you going to get worms" look.

  • jeniefrumdabloc™

    Fanny I need another album ... da last sucked .... got nothing bout this .... let me take my nap chile https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ca67397ce0e334c11bb15cdf692dd0b222a7880dfb23b8f239b9faa27baa8c0a.gif Cause chile ..... Let me take care

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    ?
    But enough trust is given to share your body and have babies?
    Does the guard come down just enough to accomplish that first?

  • chan chan

    A woman know when she’s with a good man just like she know when she’s wasting her time with a loser. The problem with some women they wanna pretend this subject is about letting the losers lead when that’s not what’s being said. Some women haven’t done the mental, physical, and spiritual work to attract a good man.

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    ???? that gif!!!

  • bemetoo

    Girl it sounds like you’d do anything to keep a man ole Illiterate ass.. good advice is as good as the person it comes from

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    ???????? You betta PREACH PREACHER!! Holler Lou Aaaaaaaa

  • Blaque Mahogany

    I love Fantasia but this is literally what I thought when I read the comment.

  • EMILY POST

    Come on.... Every man is not worth keeping and some women think they are men themselves ????? They really believing that fade gives them man super powers... lol
    Some women are not relationship material. It really depends.

  • Navybeans95

    Jus being real. .but when u meet a man that knows what he's doing ...it's almost like u can feel the click...He will love u be there for u and has no problems running it...and the natural place of the woman will just happen..everyone has a lane...most people got it all twisted around and don't know how to communicate with each other...

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    Or some women purposely look for a younger dude they think they can "mold" into what they want him to be.
    ...Which is something that almost never works, by the way.

  • chan chan

    The best person to listen to is a person who’ve learned from their mistakes.

  • BlackNicheRims

    If it's the right man. He has to have a purpose and dedication. I get it, my mom is like this. She listens to my dad and follows his lead on most things. But hey, my mom NEVER had to work outside of the home. My dad paid for the family home, worked hard, took care of his family and attended church every Sunday. If they make 'em like this again, more women would be willing. But he can't be out here leading by his arse thinking a sane woman will listen to him.

  • Maxx

    And Fantasia is a great example. She has overcome many obstacles that others use as excuses to fail so not sure why you would say she isn't someone to take that advise from.

  • Blaque Mahogany

    I didn't like the last album either. Interestingly enough, during the interview she said the last album was garbage. It was the last CD under that label and she said she could tell she wasn't into it and neither was the label.

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    The usual...

  • EasyBreezy

    Fantasia, Ciara, Meagan, and the rest of ya'll married women giving advice to single women; STOP IT. Stop assuming all single women want to be married. Stop assuming your luck of the draw gives you privy to give advice to the masses. You know what? This shiggidy is taking too much of my time. TTYL.

  • chan chan

    ??

  • Blaque Mahogany

    Early 60's?!?! I cannot...

  • Dr. P

    And the ONLY thing that younger man is molding is that AZZ! He ain't minding her, oops I mean showing her respect. It NEVER works...

  • deidre martin

    I don't know... I currently have no children, so I haven't given anyone that much control... other than the God Lord leading my life and being my adviser - I don't trust these ninjas they out for self!

  • Let them eat cake

    nope. not if she isn't sorry about it and hasn't changed her behavior. Don't make excuses for her disgusting behavior. people need to be called out and shamed.

  • EMILY POST

    Stop pretending like a good proportion of women not walking around thinking they are a man??
    The men think and behave like they are the women. Can’t leave them out...?

  • I Have A Chronic In-House Man

    Okay time for me to go take a piss and head to my meeting. So I cant hold my mule no damn more on Fanny. She a damn adulteress. She done said fukk her kids and tried to take her own damn life. Over a man. The man she gushing about and who is leading her currently...she married 3 weeks after meeting him in a nightclub and after knowing him. But hey. She said he "prayed" for her during their first date so she knew he was the one. Based off that.

    Once again its not the message. Its the messenger. Toodles.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    Truuuuu I tried telling an associate of mine girl work on you!! You want a man with all these qualities it you have to do your work too in order to attract that! She wanted a mentally stable and emotionally stable man but she lacks that stability herself she has issues that need to be delt with. She wanted a financially stable man that will allow her to stay home I said first you have to become financially stable credit jacked up and you behind on bills you want a man to catch all that up THEN let you stay home get in a better place

  • Let them eat cake

    shes a cancer

  • jeniefrumdabloc™

    wow.......

  • Chaseboogie The Prince

    Fantasia has THEE most horrible luck with men. She should never speak on the topic. After getting played by a married Verizon cashier making minimum wages, that leaves her and goes BACK to his wife and minimum wage job, she should be the last to make any statements. She can not pick a good man to save her life.

  • I Have A Chronic In-House Man

    How you know its the right man after THREE WEEKS?

  • Maxx

    Well said

  • chan chan

    If single women don’t want to be married why are they having babies and seeking relationships with men ? that doesn’t make sense. So are you saying that most women prefer to be single mothers and get used for sex by men who don’t really like them?

  • Blaque Mahogany

    Chile, now it's 30...

    He is so damn bitter.

  • $92471650

    youre right. But wrong. The best advice I got came from an 80 year old woman, who has been married for 50 something years. I dont know about all that cooking, cleaning and let him lead crap. The men I know wont let you lead. They will keep passing you up, no matter what you do. Cause no matter what I do, my husband will ensure I can't beat him. I opened 1 business, he opened up 5. I finished school and got a BA, he got his Masters. I went to 1 football game 10th grade, he start playing and got drafted. I start going to church, he start going more, he probably gone become a Pastor if he see me save one soul. I baught a 6series, he baught a 7series. If I go to a party, he throws a party. I dont have to stop what Im doing to help his ego, I do me and he exceeds me. And ive probably cooked 10 meals, in my life time, and im sure they did not taste good, cause even the dog was hesitant.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    ? The Lord spoke to her and told her

  • KneeSee

    I bet everything she said came straight from her husband's mouth.

  • deidre martin
  • MSGREENMINUSTHEENVY

    Clearly! Sis, it's too early for this! LOL

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    He was a T-Mobile worker I’ll have you know! ?

  • MSGREENMINUSTHEENVY

    LOL!

  • hottlanta

    Let me ask married wendy william n lechon that question.

  • EasyBreezy

    ...and let me add something..... Fantasia has nerves of steel to be out here talking. The past is the past, but girl, you were the main one tattooing a married man's name on your chest, the main one taken to a court by a wife pissed you were screwing her husband, and you had a child with said married man. But alas, the past is the past.

  • Chaseboogie The Prince

    That's even worst. LOL! But thanks, it's all the same to me.

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    When did she get married??

  • Maxx

    Stand up & say that!!! People always trying to judge based on bad decisions folks make in their past, but they just don't know those mistakes have the ability to bring out the best in you IF you choose to learn from them.

  • chan chan

    We will not mention weight. It’s one thing to gain a few after marriage but women tryna walk through the gate 70 to 100 pounds overweight talking about there are no good men. I be like yea ok ?

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Unless you have an xray machine, diagnostic blood sample collector, credit reporting scanner, and a person who can hack financials oh and dont forget a private investigator how the hell would a woman know if a man is good or not unless they try to date or hang out with them??? Especially if you curve 9 out of 10 ...There are wolves in sheeps clothing who literally put on a front they they have it all together (faith, family, finance) but then a woman finds out something different...so your saying dont take a chance at all with anyone...what makes a good man? Is it church (look at Jamal Bryant)...Is it money (look at Bernie Madoff)...Is it power (look at Matt Lauer)...All three men had this and look where it got them...Im pretty sure before their scandals broke they were considered good men...My point stands that there are losers in Armani suits as well as losers on the corner I refuse to just block out everything to adhere to someone who's talking out their ass just for rebuttal...There are little to no great men out here and if they are they dont wanna settle...

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux
  • LoveChild

    You’re getting blocked for your fake obtuse question. I can’t stand when people act dumb trying to be cute.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    Got married in 2015 according to google man time flies

  • Blaque Mahogany

    5 years ago. After knowing him for 3 weeks. Different strokes. He appears to be on the same page as her spiritually and mentally. Seems to be grounded in faith.

  • LoveChild

    Exactly. She’s a penis pandering idiot.

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Chile...

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    There’s level to peddling cell phones and electronics ?

  • bemetoo

    Because like you said she had many obstacles that others use as excuses.. who’s to say that she’s not using them as an excuse to keep a man?

  • chan chan

    Sound like you’ve been bamboozled but I’m sure there were red flags you ignored. Aloooooot of women ignore the red flags then play victim. Nawwwwww sis you knew. There are plenty of good men out in the world, u may want to ask why aren’t u attracting a good man.

  • Chaseboogie The Prince

    LOL!!! Well he should level up to Verizon.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    Dam the comments went left real fast and guess what https://media2.giphy.com/media/XQq8UMo254P16/giphy.gif

  • bemetoo

    I agree ole Illiterate follow the leader ass

  • IAmLawlessBrooks

    But it's only recently she learned how I keep a man though....

  • fawkery

    Tasia is speaking to married folk right here. She said nothing wrong and it is refreshing for someone with her social status to keep it Biblical and a BUCK! Marriage is a gift from Yah and he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. I submit to my husband who submits to Yeshua and we have no confusion in our home, we are complete and are blessed in every undertaking. HOWEVER, the caveat: don't submit to just any man...

  • EasyBreezy

    Oh, dear. No precious. I am certainly not saying that. For focused, mentally, & emotionally mature (not old) women whose self-esteem is routinely demonstrated by their actions, what you are suggesting would be a non-issue. Marriage is not the end all for everyone. In fact, the type of woman I described calls her shots in terms of what kind of relationship she wants to have. It may be marriage, it may be partnering. Who is to say?

  • xxxgracious

    I have no dog in this fight. But I will say I look forward to the day I become someone's wife. I just ask God to work on me so when he does send him I'll be prepared to take on my role.

  • chan chan

    If u made hardly no mistakes like myself and did most things right then you’re told oh u can’t give advice because u never been through this or that. Some women just can’t admit their shortcomings, change, and move on.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    Ok put some reseck on those Verizon folks had he worked at Verizon he prolly wouldn’t have put his wife up to suing Fannie

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Nah no red flags over here I am the red flag LOL....but I do have a past and do attend relationship forums alot with my girls who are successful and cant "find a man" in Philly... Good brothas need to move to Philly because there are alot of educated women who want something meaningful...I have a walking "keep away" sign on my forehead for all of that malarkey cause Im spoken for...

  • Maxx

    Yes, but you shouldn't place the blame for this on women. If that is a fact, we need to look at both parties. Men often times run with their tales between their legs. Where's their strength & fight for their children & their family?

  • Desi

    Not peddling.

  • Maxx

    Oh, okay, so I guess I am wasting my breath. As I said, he sounds real bitter. I hope he can overcome it. That's not healthy.

  • chan chan

    Those women seen the red flags with those men and if I’m not mistaken Lela took her husband from another woman. My friend is Wendy Williams cousin and he said she was with him because that’s all that wanted to marry Wendy her move was out of desperation. Wendy always dated no good men who was beating on her.

  • SpiceGirl
  • Maxx

    People in their 30s and 40s are still considerd young now-a-days and are still learning life. Your mentality is not healthy thinking.

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    I understand that all the way...I have a friend who is educated and beautiful but she puts so much stock in clothing and what a man has on...If its not a Fendi print she dont want it...Im like girl you 35 and you worried about if the man has on a label...Chile....Its about finding yourself as a woman and being able to bring more to the table than looking good...

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    People still try though. But as I see it, if he's 25, irresponsible, with bad credit, no career direction etc... there's a good chance that one day he's going to be 35 and still irresponsible, with bad credit, no career direction etc. There's a good chance you'll spend/waste years of your life trying to mold him into your "dream husband", before you realize you've been wasting your time. I've seen it happen.

  • Blaque Mahogany

    Nah. You're very bitter. No matter the topic, you will find a way to disparage women. I'm just now seeing this predilection you have for younger women...and it honestly makes sense. I've heard about your type, but I've been fortunate enough to only interact with black men that are mature, financially secure, attractive and respectful. So, this behavior that you exhibit is new and slightly fascinating.

  • Navybeans95

    Everyone's relationship is different so I found that following someone else's advice can serve no purpose but we all have a lane..find out what it is and stick to it..It will never work if you have two captains on one ship also compatibility and communication is crucial...js...

  • fawkery

    YES! Enjoy this season of singleness. Travel, learn a new trade, start a biz and be the best you that you can. This is the only time in your life to be "selfish" because once a husband (and children) pop in the pic, it's a wrap lol! I let go and put it all in God's hands during that season. A few months later I started dating my husband who is everything I ever prayed for and more.

  • Maxx

    It's called growth.

  • Angelique Johnson

    I am happy that should found that love. No hate here.
    God puts people in our life for a reason and after a month she found the person that was for her and after five years it has worked. Nothing but love

  • Darkandlovely617?
  • Nina Ross

    The King can’t make any good moves in chess

  • Darkandlovely617?

    ??
    But it’s soooo hard being patient and obedient to what God has in store for us

  • Maxx

    It is called growth & she has been married for 5 years. She seems grounded and happy so smart people learn from their mistakes. As someone else said the people who admit their mistakes & learn from them are the best teachers...they are speaking from experience.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    Chile The sane female I referenced also puts the penis size at top priority I said so what if he got all the right qualities treat you right and everything but his penis is average or a little smaller than average size she said issa no from her ????? I was like guuuuuuuurrrll that’s why you keep ending up with big sweet dyck Willie who treat you bad you may not find it all in one package

  • deidre martin
  • oshh16

    This dude as far I have seen never speaks about male accountability/responsibility or lack there of.
    ITA though if more males were men in the biblical sense, then we would not have half the issues in the community that we do.

  • Maxx

    t is called growth & she has been married for 5 years. She seems grounded and happy so smart people learn from their mistakes. As someone else said the people who admit their mistakes & learn from them are the best teachers...they are speaking from experience.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux
  • LoveChild

    ??

  • Ingrid 3rd

    I see divorce upon the horizon...... Girl please just shut it... You can't keep no damn man neither.. Watch this space she will promoting open marriage soon

  • chan chan

    Ok I can dig that and keep up the good work. I love honesty. U can’t do no wrong in my book when you’re honest.

  • oshh16

    And on a blog that has a mostly female audience, and with lots of them being 40 +... go figure.

  • chan chan

    I’m definitely not the one to have a say but most women I have spoken to eventually is wondering why the man they’ve been dating for 3 to 5 years aren’t marrying them. Black women are very good at hiding their true feelings with the tough guy act.

  • EasyBreezy

    IKR?

  • Seldomseen

    A married Verizon cashier

  • Jai

    Speaking the absolute truth here. I was guilty of wanting a man that I could control but it's never enough. It falls apart unless you're willing to put up with the worse of the worse things for rest of your life. You're speaking straight facts I was to stubborn to understand when I was younger.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    148 comments in an hour auntie know how to get the people going ?

  • Chaseboogie The Prince

    She hasn't been married 5 years straight. They broke up and got back together. Part of growth is knowing that you make mistakes and maybe, just maybe you aren't the one to talk about a topic. If a mother of 5 that spent all of her time in the streets and let her mama raise her kids decides after endless flings, drunken nights out, missed birthday parties, never went to a PTA meeting decided to 'grow' after her kids were grown or almost grown, I would pass on her advice as a mother. She may have grown up, learned from her mistakes, but she can't tell me "HOW" to be a mother because she don't know. She could tell me "HOW" to recover from broken relationships with her kids after someone else raised them though. This topic ain't for Fantasia.

  • Seldomseen

    Lol.....

  • Seldomseen

    At least it ain’t Boost

  • fawkery

    Trust it can be but He knows you better than you know yourself! He also knows your spouse and his heart. I believe that God was working on my husband while he was working on me so that we would be good together when the timing was right. He might even be a good friend to you right now. Dating is so stressful so when I submitted to God and just enjoyed life, things fell together. My favorite quote that got me through the season (and is 100% spot on): "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man has to seek Him in order to find her."

  • Lovers & Friends

    I would think twice before taking advice from someone with her track record. Teenager mother, two baby daddies with one being a married man, at least one abortion. Failed relationship after failed relationship , sued by a wife for man-stealing and all this before 30. ? Ok Tasia, we know “lose to win again”. ?

    My comment has nothing to do about her music. Love your music Tasia.

  • deidre martin

    rt im confused - if im over 30 i might as well pack it in??? there are too many variables to make that blanket statement. wow ! that is very disheartening.

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    I agree. I tell myself that if a person has grown, then we should allow them to grow and speak from the place they are at now, instead of holding their past against them.

  • EasyBreezy

    Yes! This is what I am hearing. However, waiting 3 - 5 years for a man to decide your fate is foolhardy. Love or not, if he knows what you want and is not giving it to you (marriage) you simply cannot stay.

  • Maxx

    Sometimes you just know or you know enough to take a chance. I always tell folks you can be with someone 3 months or 3 years, but at the end of the day you are still taking a CHANCE or a GAMBLE because you never really know anyone & people can change with time. I actually asked my man for his number the first night I met him..which was something I had NEVER done, but it was like love at first sight for me. Now over 6 years later we are still together.

  • Lovers & Friends

    What you mean, she already told you
    “sometimes you got to lose to win again.”

  • deidre martin
  • AphroKween

    You know It was coming and I was waiting with baited breath...........lol

  • Mz_Opinionated

    I thought he was from T-Mobile. I need to get my FACTS straight ?

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    If we don't got it
    I'll go get it (it ain't a thang)
    And if it's broken
    I'll fix it (I don't complain)
    But now, see it's gettin' a little out of hand,
    Cook, cleaning, providing taking care of little man
    You want to talk about who's wearing the pants
    Baby well I don't understand
    If you gon' be the man,
    Then be the man,
    Cause if you cant
    Baby I can,
    I can and I will so
    Figure it out.
    Which one of us gone be the man of the house....... -( Fantasia man of the house 2010 )

  • chan chan

    I agree.

  • Lovers & Friends

    “Sometimes you got to lose to win again.”

  • Dollface

    Girl please be quiet. All of us women can't afford to have a kept man. What do you propose women do until they have a man to come in their life to lead them? Are we supposed to be stagnant?

  • wonderwoman

    This coming from a woman that’s the breadwinner in her household. Okay Tasia.

  • EasyBreezy

    OT- BEST .GIF OF ALL TIME; BAR NONE!

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    ? truuu

  • iWasteTime

    These people are going up in here huh?
    Next time do a interactive post with a Poll.

  • Dowoop

    Lmfao...you not wrong.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    Boy, I just don't get it
    (You ain't supposed to act like a little boy)
    Just cause I'm independent
    (No)
    You walk around with your chest out
    Like you the one
    But if I don't do it
    Then it wont get done
    I'm a good woman
    But I'm not dumb
    You goin' be the man or my son
    And I'm sick and tired of
    Being the boss for us
    (Being the boss for us)
    No this ain't the kind of love
    Its supposed to be
    You want to be
    King of the castle
    (Oh, you want to be)
    You want to be captain
    You gone have to work
    A little bit harder for that to happen. (Fantasia man of the house 2010)

  • Chaseboogie The Prince

    No, you're right. I needed to get mine straight. LOL!

  • Dowoop

    I made it about 10 comments down before I saw what u meant.

  • EasyBreezy

    Chile.... can we talk about all the medicine bottles, jars, and such on the nightstand? Think very carefully....

  • Karen Brady

    Tasia you my girl but you may want to sit this one out.

  • Jai

    I was guilty of wanting a man that was willing to do everything I wanted, had that edge and wild factor to him and the sex drive of a college student even while still in our 30s. But I realized after he threw the craziest tantrum that he wasn't all the way right in the head and was a manchild and I had let that become my type. 10 years of marriage I finally saw it. As I progressed in life and my desires, he stayed the same. He didn't develop beyond when we started dating in college. I take ownership that I stunted his growth by being so dominant but he also had that embedded in him from his parents. The problem is relationships with men like that never last unless you're always willing to put up with same thing. To this day when we sold joint stock I strategically placed my share in other stocks, college funds for kids and savings. This man went and bought a boat to take his half black half columbian girlfriend on whenever he pays for her to come to the states. I say this as a Black Woman who's part Puerto Rican. Some black men need to mature and rise to challenge but Puerto Rican men and alot of Hispanic men are so much worse. I give my black brothers out here that are leaders all the credit in the world. I'm not saying all Hispanic men are bad news but there are alot of manchild Hispanics out here now.

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Sweet Dyck Willie ??? Im over here swooning and cakling like a damn witch...Honestly tho I prefer an average or above too...If you were single would you be willing to deal with a great man with a micro penis???

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    When people are bitter inside, sometimes the bitterness just gushes out of them like vomit. ? smh

  • oshh16

    oops.

  • EasyBreezy
  • hottlanta

    Bad relationships never stopped steve harvey from being a 3 time serial marrier n relationship expert n author.

  • SpillyNillie

    I do believe that in a MARRIAGE the man is the head of the household and should take the lead. If I married him, then I trust that he's a good provider and leader. As circumstances are concerned, I would trust him to lead, of course with my input, on major decisions regarding our marriage and family.

  • http://realitytea.com Lady Chatterly’s Lover

    I approve of this message.

  • hottlanta

    Fanny your husband almost led u to hell when he had u going on a all lives matter rant n he had the nerve to say l got employees from everywhere like he was complaining bout the phrase black lives matter. Someone whispered in his ear to sit his azz down n shut the fyck up n let u do your thang.

  • Lovers & Friends

    Exactly. I been saying this for years. I remember when he released his book years ago, my coworkers raced to Barnes and Nobles to get it. These were white women too. I’m like what the hell. They thought he was going to be releasing some secrets. ???

  • Beloved Jordan

    Most black women were/are forced into leadership roles due to the man's failure to do so...and that's financially spiritually protectivly fatherly..u name it.

  • bemetoo

    ??? you sure can

  • Neva RuthLess

    If man is the head, woman is the center of the home. Black men fail as leaders, builders, protesters, and providers. Black women are pathetic to follow most black men husband or not. I said what I said.

  • bemetoo

    Que’s Sponge ? bob imma head out meme

  • Dr. P

    Me too, until I met a "man" who wasn't having NONE of my foolishness lmaoooooooooooo....

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    I was gonna say that but I aint wanna get stoned to death on here ?...how she want a man to lead when Kendall dont bring nothing in the household but chapstick...Chile... https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/53047fc20a01774ffdc19bd6ca6143bc934015bb9403262e8a22771b04952712.gif

  • Nik

    One reason more women are single these is days because they know they can make it on their own, and not accept the ish their mothers and grandmothers accepted to stay married. Sometimes what we perceive as keeping a man is really a woman's inability to walk away from something that's not working. My family has a track record for long marriages, but they weren't/aren't necessarily happy in them.

  • Nik

    LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Nik

    This is so dayum funny I'm at a loss for words, a meme, and a gif.

  • Nik

    And in addition to compatibility, suitability.

  • MJF

    "At the end of the day I'm the neck, my man's the head."
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Men have two heads and still can't think or effectively use either. I'll pass on this belief, until I find someone worthy. Thanks though Fanny!

  • ola57

    Go on Felicia.

  • Myopinion

    This conversation can go on and on. There is enough to blame on both sides.

  • RealATLPeach36

    Girl go and read a book with Mayweather

  • Mazey1

    That's the end result of "I don't need a man" nonsense that has a bunch of women raising a son alone.

  • https://xohatsumi.com xoHatsumi.com

    She didn't lie. The keyword here though is king.

    A king needs his queen.

    Some of ya'll be tryna give it all to a man with dirty dack, dirty draws, 8 baby mamas, and no job, who's tryna flip your EBT card into 15 cents from his mama's mattress on the floor.

    Submission is a gift. That gift should only be given to a man deserving of it. There's a reason why there's a head and feet. Some of these 'kings' are whole in-grown toenails. No ma'am. If he's calling himself the head, he needs to be logical, intelligent, considerate of the rest of his body (i.e. YOU) and a true leader. Otherwise it's just the blind needing the blind.

  • RealATLPeach36

    EXACTLY!

    I can wait for the right man, without washing myself down for a sucker duck ? negro

  • Myopinion

    They are not accepting ish but still gapping their legs and having out of wedlock children with no fathers, which in turn continues the cycle of our children growing up fatherless and emotionally unstable, with a lack of self worth.

  • https://xohatsumi.com xoHatsumi.com

    Girl I'm currently looking right now. I'm over 30, and I've come to realize if I ever want to get married, I'm going to have to accept that SOME things about myself have to be changed to make room for another person in my life, and that perfection isn't a real thing.

  • Nik

    Dating older means something different depending on the age bracket. A 30 year old dating a 50 year old might be okay because 50 is still considered young these days, but when you're 50 and dating someone who is 70, that's a WHOLE different ballgame.

  • chan chan

    U are only forced into a leadership role when u make a poor decision to procreate with the wrong guy. I have never been forced into a leadership role with my husband. I literally have to beg to treat him to dinner or buy him things. He’s truly a great guy and leader. Good men are out here. I’m no different from any other woman I had to do the work to attract a great guy.

  • Vonn

    I swear I came to laugh at these comments. Without reading them yet I already know that y'all went in on her. She is the breadwinner of her household.

  • https://xohatsumi.com xoHatsumi.com

    I scrolled through some too but was surprised to see not everyone was dragging her by her bundles lol

  • KarmaBackAround

    I actually agree with fantasia..before i read i jus knew she was gonna come with some bull but this, I agree!

  • Nik

    That's a separate issue and a hasty generalization. I'm just speaking from a relationship perspective. A woman not settling for less than what she deserves doesn't mean she's out there humping everything that moves.

  • KarmaBackAround

    U mean hand palmed by her short cut** fixed it for you

  • Vonn

    I'm making my snack now so I can look through. Everyman isnt built to be a king, every man wasn't raised to be one. You cannot treat the court jester like a damn King.

  • KarmaBackAround

    One reason alot of woman are single is because they call their man "Bruh" and "dude".. that is my pet peeve to hear a woman address her man as such

  • Vonn

    You know what??????

  • BlackLivesMatter

    I finally found mine...It feels really good to have a man worthy of leading a man I can trust to lead I man where I feel 100% completely safe with. My first requirement/statement up front was I'm an traditional girl with traditional values...I'll be your helpmate every step of the way but I'mma need you to take the helm and we'll figure it out together. I didn't settle, I waited. I didn't stay in toxic relationships, I left and I waited. I waited, prayed and did the healing work, got my life together. A 10 year marriage, 8 year engagement, 3 year live in boyfriend...and countless frogs and fvk boys later...I wasn't desperate, thirsty or needy..(I did get horny and lonely at times) I started practicing celibacy a few years ago just to get my mind right and He literally showed up. I have friends who have settled and are unhappy, I have friends who fvk on the first night and are unhappy, I have friends in toxic relationships and unhappy...I honestly believe if you do the work and be patient you'll find the right one.

  • Eric B

    I think context must be considered with her comments. Are women just as intelligent and capable as men? Yes. There is no question about that. But, consider what is natural in both men and women. Generally speaking and historically, men have been the providers and protectors of the home/family. Women have traditionally been the caretakers and nurturers in the home/family. To me, this does not suggest the woman or man is not able or willing to perform the roles the opposing gender has tradition ally done. I give some credence to her comments. Due to the failure of many men to fulfill the role of provider and protector, some women are forced into this nontraditional role. As a result, some women take on what some people may describe as masculine qualities and characteristics. Then, as she described, women can miss a good man who does the things he's supposed to do (traditionally) because the woman has been forced into a nontraditional situation. Granted, this is all speculation and conjecture on my part but I do feel there is some truth to what she said. Peace!

  • Vonn

    Yup, yup & yup.

  • hi-liter

    She learned all of this AFTER she fucccd on someone else’s husband AND got pregnant AND tried to commit suicide because of him.....okay.

  • BlackLivesMatter

    And that's what life is all about. LEARNING from your mistakes. We are NOT are mistakes. That's what they're suppose to do...Teach you what to do better the next time.

  • hi-liter

    Again ??

  • Reina1718

    1st question. Does he work?

  • hi-liter

    Ain’t heard about nan career he has. He using her money and heading the household.

  • Nik
  • GirlSixx

    *SlowClap* Say it again Sis!

  • Nik
  • Goodii2Shoes

    Fanny, your man the breadwinner? Or let's you win the bread? Because breadwinners not hearing #you.

  • Mama Dee’s Wig Maker
  • Nik

    A man who is proactive, a planner, when problems arise he understands he must find a solution, and his primary concern is the well-being of the household.

  • Reina1718

    Thats what i wanted to kno! Im sorry u cant lead if u not bringing in the money ?????

  • https://xohatsumi.com xoHatsumi.com

    lmaoo not the snack! ???? Vonn said they bout to be scrolling thru like https://media3.giphy.com/media/IPsfIZxtsycSFRVvD4/giphy-downsized-medium.gif

  • Reina1718

    & the way this generation set up chillllleeee u nvr kno what u gettin into till its late

  • https://xohatsumi.com xoHatsumi.com
  • Nik
  • GirlSixx

    He and his wife finessed the hell out of Fannie.

  • Kimberly King

    First of all, Fanny can't keep a man either. She's had her fair share of dudes. Anyway, She is right, there's nothing wrong with submitting to a man and following his lead. Where some women go wrong is that they'll submit to bums and allow losers to lead them. I knew my fiancé was the one on numerous occasions, but in one particular - I tried to weasel my way into getting my way and he wasn't having it! I pouted and he just looked at me and laugh and said "you'll have your way when I allow you to." ?? I just knew I was gonna marry him that night lmao

  • BlackNicheRims

    Yep, mom respects dad and he respects her. Neither one of my parent's hang around a lot of people. It's better to keep people out of your business.

  • Kimberly King

    Exactly ! Does her husband even make more money than her ? I'm sick of black women marrying DOWN.

  • Myopinion

    The issue that you've stated may be a separate issue in your mind, however it lends to the conversation that I posed of children growing up fatherless. Most black woman say they don't want to deal with the BS but are still getting pregnant and diseases from the men who is bringing the BS and the cycle continues. Going from man to man...figure out you don't want the BS before you gap your legs. That will stop a lot of BS from all parties.

  • T Willis

    Marriages are nothing more than an archaic business arrangement, a social construct developed out of necessity. Over the years there’s been enough data collected to determine the pros and cons to raising a family in a 2-parent household, verses the rampant single mother households ?, but I digress...
    I don’t agree with Fanny’s analysis because I don’t view marriage through an emotional lens. I don’t think I should have to tell a man something that he should already know. And likewise, I don’t feel like a man should tell me something that I should already know or be performing. If we both decide to get married then our roles should be outline in a contract. If you or I have expectations of the other’s performance, then to me, that’s a contractual agreement lol. I’m not about to introduce emotion into it. You can love someone today and hate their guts tomorrow. Love is too fickle of an emotion to tie it to something like finances or child rearing. I think this is why black ppl struggle the most. They think they have to be in love and give complete submission, when the reality is, you should both be in agreement to each other’s expectations and honor them. Fail to do so and I’ll take half your earnings lol ?????.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    As long as he got a tornado tongue ? ? we can prolly work something out! Shiiiiiiiiii sex not at the top of my list for dating and marriage shoot it’s like numba 5 even if it ain’t big hell you gotta have some moves and tricks up yo sleeve to bring it on in to home base!

  • CoTToNCaNDie SWeeTAsGolD

    Imma slide right on past this one. ????

  • RealATLPeach36

    I like what you wrote!

  • jayhawkpride

    She could have articulated herself a little better, but man being the head is the natural order. Although society is trying to change that.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    Dammmmmmn! Now that’s a different way of looking at things I can respect this point of view which is why some states still honor their laws around?

  • KarmaBackAround

    ????????

  • Yup, I said it

    Strong women needs an alpha male. I walk all over a Beta Male.

  • Yup, I said it

    Overdosing on them baby asprins gave her an epiphany, ya say?

  • Nik

    I am speaking from the perspective of single women with no children who understand what they should accept and look for. And if they do choose to sleep with whomever they're dating, they do so with confidence that he is father material and already discussed what would happen in case of pregnancy. T

  • Bushbabe

    How can anyone keep a man when they got bishes like Fanny stealing them. You can't keep what isn't yours.

  • https://plus.google.com/112554936495871947070 Don’t touch my laptop!

    I didnt read the whole thing, but I will say that there are entirely to many weak ass men. If men were strong and leaders there is no way a woman could run the show. Stop blaming the women for stepping up at where men fell off lol.

  • Dontgetdraggedputa??

    Some of us dont want a man no matter how good he is or supposed to be. I know its sounds crazy to a group of women who define themselves by how long they stay with a cheater but here it is. Some of these men dont want to be kept either. Get over it

  • Rhyme and Reason

    This is one hot and subjective topic! But, I think you pretty much nailed it, in a most realistic fashion!

    There are so many circumstances to consider, baggage to unclaimed, self-work, sound expectations to form, and the willingness to not settle, regardless of how long it takes!

    Good for you!

  • http://batman-news.com Roderick2011

    And some people who have tragic pasts need to be humble and not start giving advice as if they discovered the origins of life or something.

  • http://batman-news.com Roderick2011

    Obviously you don't know many women.

  • T Willis

    Lol but it’s true (to me) ?????.
    I’m not about to get emotional and beg for crumbs in a divorce lol. If we’re getting married then papers are getting drawn up. Here are my expectations, here are your expectations. Failure to adhere to x, y, & z means you forfeit 30% of your earnings and x amount in damages ?. Ain’t noooobody got time for the crying and court dates. Marriage involves the merging of assets and finances. A contract detailing every scenario, as well as the consequences, need to be put in place. This is one of the many avenues that men have an advantage over. Women are mostly raised with the Cinderella complex so men don’t have to work as hard to get them down the aisle. Now with women like Fanny, who is most likely the breadwinner, this a dangerous and complex position to be in. Your finances determine your role in any marriage. How can any woman be ok with a man that makes less than her, leading her? I hope she got a tight prenup cause when they divorce he gonna take her for everything she’s got. She better talk that love nonsense with Sherry S, Wendy Williams, and MJB. Them nuccas loved their breadwinners too and you see that ain’t stop them from asking to be kept house-husbands while they f*cking someone 20-30 years their junior. If you get a marriage contract and don’t allow emotion to guide you then you’ll be A-OK when that nucca decides he’s ready to trade you in. ?????

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    I heard a bird chirping or maybe its a pigeon???

  • Facts and Receipts

    He works for her.

    President
    Rock Soul Entertainment
    2016 – Present-3 years

    Entertainment Company/ Record Label

  • Rhyme and Reason

    See this is what people go to marriage counseling to establish after the fact, after miscommunication, disappointments, infidelity, financial problems or anything that disrupts a marriage!

    Most people don’t marry for the right reason or the person they love, as much as they as do for personal agendas or selfish reasons, imo!

  • onelove

    me to

  • hottlanta

    Didnt he move into her house. Why cant wr get some statements about how come men cant keep us

  • Facts and Receipts

    Well then she needs to be like sometimes you luck up. Not all this damn "advice". If its luck did you really put in the work? If you get married after 3 weeks did you really "wait for the right one"? No. You did not.

  • Starburst

    This is solely my opinion and based on observation on this topic. Women that need men to lead in a relationship lack a father from childhood and look towards their husband/boyfriend for guidance. I don't need a man to lead I simply need a partner of equality.

  • Starburst

    Lol!

  • Kimocha

    I'm sorry but we need more blk men that know HOW to lead and then it won't be so many blk women TAKING the lead!!... Blk women ain't had no choice.

  • Facts and Receipts

    To me she didnt learn shit. She started a biz and put him as President....just like she did the married baby daddy. To repeat the same behavior and expect different results is insanity in my opinion, but we can call it growth if you wish.

  • Ms..N

    Respecting what each other brings to the table! Not just looking at physical and maintaining a spiritual connection !! I Quote Judge Mathis who clearly says all the time his wife manages all in their life and he does not have a problem with it!' So all women do not have to be on the sidelines to have a successful relationship!! https://media1.giphy.com/media/2NpiF3DkuFn1e/giphy.gif

  • Starburst

    I like this post and it makes clear sense.

  • 100milesperhour

    It's prevalent in the black community. Black women don't feel protected, uplifted or wanted. It can cause you to become hardened & jaded. Add to it what you said about the man's failure to fulfill their role as provider, protector...women become the nurturer, caretaker, protector, breadwinner...Rap culture plays a part too, some let it permeate into real life. Promoting the idea that women have to compete for a man's attention (uh no), when men are the ones supposed to be chasing. People buy into that & roles get reversed...men sit back chilling while women become aggressive & compromise themselves trying to get noticed & loved.

  • Starburst

    ?

  • xxxgracious

    That was beautiful. I just left bible study. I'm definitely going to start investing my time into God and myself. Thanks for the amazing advice.

  • Reina1718

    Get out!?

  • Starburst

    Children need guidance and leadership not a grown woman.

  • Skin Deep Beauty

    She doesn't even know how to spell ARTICULATE!

  • Solstice

    Me 3 ??

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    Not true

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    Now fools will say she wrong but like at the outrageous state the black communities are in and they ARE BEING LED BY WOMEN

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    Black women have lead us into thousands of blacks shot a year in chi town

  • Blaque Mahogany

    I was joking. Lol. I

  • MsAmour22

    With all due respect, the only way men are in this world is by women so if a man is weak it is because of a woman, his mother and first teacher, whether there's a father in the house or not. The teaching of a child starts before conception & in the womb....a woman can energetically form the traits and attributes of her son before conception and while he is in the womb! Women need to wake up and take responsibility for creating weak no good men!!

  • Starburst

    Those grown women need counseling from a professional.

  • Li-Wright

    As of today, it's not in the American black man's dna to stand up and take the lead. I notice a lot of the leaders protesting and organizers these days are women too. Nah, the Black American man has left the room.

  • Facts and Receipts

    Girl dead on the LinkedIn page. When they FIRST married it was said he was COO of a courier company out of Charlotte. Go to that site and the last update was 2015---shortly after they married. Bc they married end of 2014 (Nov... and then had a big publicized wedding in July 2015). Then he started at Rock Soul Ent. in 2016. Right around the time she started being promoted as a "rock soul" artist. Chile she aint fooling nobody

  • Not Today, get behind me.

    Patience and Communication= Growth. If two as a couple canNOT grow there will be no respect. Each one, teach one. A man who truly respect his mother ( I know it sound cliche) to the depths of my knowledge will give respect. You can have common knowledge but if he leads it will be for the unity of a family. Not being selfish, shallow and with a unkempt existence. No baggage as we say but you will have to become being friends first. You all will learn from mistakes as a couple; that's what usually break people apart cause they are trying to keep up with the others. A black man can lead with spiritual guidance and give you everything you miss at home. If he's easily distracted you can tell that with red flags from the beginning cause his past will creep up. Sharing family history can go far. Keeping secrets can go low; as if he had to overcome some issues it will effect the children. Masking each other faults just to have a man will effect your ego personally. Keep communication on a friendship level as if you are bonding still, not dating. Building together is the greatest aspect in a relationship that the children will admire. Stay off media, cause people will come to conclusions when there isn't any to begin with. It is a work in progress as in opposites attract. When one won't do the other will from bonding. What Fanny is saying is make a man feel like a man.

  • Angela Marsh

    You are exactly right!! Most of the women I know fit that role. It used to be me back in the day, we grew up and he matured and became the man I wanted him to be and because he provided and did what he was supposed to do, I had no problems falling back. There are a lot of factors that prohibit the black man from leading, societal pressures is a major one, that is not talked about but they still have a need to feel like a man, so there is more to it that being financially responsible, they need to be loved and reminded that they are the king, just as much as we need to be loved and reminded that we are a queen. Black love is beautiful. Because we have these unique conflicts as black people, we have no need being in interracial marriages, we totally understand each other in a way that no one else ever will. Black man/Black woman

  • Kimocha

    Probly bc blk men wasn't around and left the blk women to take care of the kids by herself and fend for herself...

  • Reina1718

    I just cant! ?? ppl like that should not give advice!

  • Angela Marsh

    SMH. So true....

  • Angela Marsh

    You are so right. Patience is a virtue. People treat you the way that you treat you. When we truly love ourselves, it will feel right to be with one person. I'm too emotional of a person to sleep around. I've been married 20 years next month, having a connection is more important than the sex, sex is extra.....So many benefits to being in a committed relationship , as opposed to giving yourself away for free. A lot of women don't love themselves, and that is why they sell themselves short. Self-love is lacking in the black community. That is why porn is not necessary anymore, when you can watch half naked chicks twerk on social media and etc. SMH.. Very sad times we are living in....

  • Rhyme and Reason

    I agree with Fantasia, but as someone said here, you can’t submit to bums, cheaters, a man who sits at home babysit the kids while his WIFE WORKS, not as a girlfriend or baby mama!

    Not being married takes two very mutually respectful individuals who can be committed w/o a license, and will do the right thing, when things go south! Or, everything is in legal writing in case of death, like Lauren London exp. being a gf [for years] vs a wife on a national stage!

    There are two distinct roles, but individuals should have their own identity too, and both have INTEGRITY! This is why many couples are getting PRE-MARRIAGE COUNSELING!

    Some women use their earning power to lure a man in, and thinks if she pays for everything, he will be dependent, and not leave, but instead, he cheats, and without the benefit of marriage!

    A man has to also be a provider/work (to his best ability), provide financially, emotionally and mental support, and the team [couple] establish deal-breakers! Then by all means allow the man to lead or leave if your husband or partner isn’t in the leading role or your wife RESPECTFUL!

    Men STOP marrying women who you know are NOT in love with you! A lot of good guys tend to gravitate to bum-azz women, the kind who cheats, makes him do the laundry and cook, while he works and provides because she just wanted the marital status, and her fuc boi, mama’s boy, or bad boy would never!

  • Not Today, get behind me.

    That sound about right.

  • Solstice

    All the dayum time!!! ???

  • Facts and Receipts

    Her ass started a company for the married baby daddy to work at too. Which is why I want all of these folks up here hollering about she done learned from past mistakes, and she has grown so much to stfu. Seems like she didnt learn not SHIT.

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    Very good analysis, brother. Well said.

  • Solstice

    ?????!!!! QTNA ?

  • Yetunde

    Fantasia has been married for 5 years to a man she had known for a few weeks. Let us wait and see how long her own union lasts before we start taking her advice.
    This is the same woman who had a baby with another woman’s husband. Yes, that was a long time ago and she may be a changed woman, but let’s just wait and see. Once she has maintained her marriage for over 10 years, then I might take her seriously.

  • Kimocha

    I'm sorry but it's a reason WHY blk women have attitudes... It goes waaayyy back when blk men started leaving them high and dry to take care of the kids and fend for themselves... And a lot of them left for other women and for other selfish reasons... When blk women started getting tired of getting used abused and abandoned is when the attitudes started kickin in... Plus it still seems to be more weak ass blk men around then ever before... Half of them wanna BE women these days!... And that also goes back to the blk women having to raise the kids by herself... Smdh!

  • SpiceGirl

    Right....lmbo

  • Starburst

    Wendy Williams is a prime example of paying for everything and the husband ended up leaving. Also, I believe the bum was the executive producer of her show.

  • Starburst

    Lawd! Lol!

  • Starburst

    So what if it's a transgender relationship who's gonna be the leader?

  • T Willis

    I don’t know lol about the respect the moms part ? lolol cause I know too too many mama boys who treat women like disposable toys.

  • Coffee1st

    I submit to my husband who submits to Yeshua and we have no confusion in our home, we are complete and are blessed in every undertaking
    ^^^^^ It's impossible to go wrong with this formula!

  • Coy little wink

    I think he is also her personal trainer ?

  • BlackNicheRims

    LOL.. cute

  • Not Today, get behind me.

    Find your self-esteem cause if you don't a black man will give you one. I don't mean be conceited or egotistical. If your man friend is confident; he'll surely can tell you are too. That's bonding, and it will go far. A confident black man know his purpose. He know that he is loved and don't need to be babied. When a black man don't need you financially cause he knows your independence could not make him cause you won't allow it. You have to have the "he can't make me or break me" status for the first 3 years. He will notice that and will focus on how to lead further for you as a Queen...which should come naturally. If not, he is not a soul mate. He is a loser, a frog, a d@mn bum. He may come at your spiritually if you're intact with your self-esteem and not financially but have admiration of your future and want to uplift you. He can spiritually guide you as if he was given a journey that manifest itself. Then an awaken could be in a midst where you all are going to be tested; then all hell break loose like frfr. If you don't have key components with having yourself together meaning knowingly know that God loves you first ( your true protector)and he can't respect that there is nothing left cause he doesn't know it's karma. What I'm saying is some people come together as for a reason an not for selfish ones.

  • Shelly

    She has a point...but when men stop putting women in the position to lead then this will stop...its not our fault! We don't have an issue following...we just not gonna be lead by a fool!!!! #wheretheydothat

  • T Willis

    Competing with their men -
    I agree with this part. I’ve had so many conversations with girlfriends and relatives that actually believe that men want a woman “on their level”. Trading wits and intellect, creating business ventures etc....which sounds good in theory, but the reality is a lot of guys view that sort of energy as “competition”. They don’t view it from the same positioning as women. When you work so hard to achieve a career in a stressful, competitive field, the last thing you want to do is feel like you’re still on the battlefield when you go home. Whereas women view it like it’s a healthy exchange of ideas and investments. It’s crazy how two ppl can view the same situation from drastic spectrum ends.

    The best partner for me in marriage would be one who doesn’t speak lol. Seriously lol my life and career is so fast-paced and chaotic that when I go home I want peace and quiet. I don’t want to discuss current events, politics, or business/community oriented projects. So on some level, I understand why guys like Diddy may venture to the Lori Harvey’s of the world. Sometimes just having a foundation that’s based in peace, low-energy, and lots of sex lol is the objective. Verses someone that’s driven by challenging you daily - under the guise of “debating” - it just requires too much energy.

  • SweetTEE

    Your message is correct, but your delivery is why most women won't listen and will automatically take offense. I wish WE would stop blaming each other as to why our relationships are damaged. We both should be mature and educated enough to know that unlike most other cultures, our families were systematically divided and we never got back on track. You know good and well that this is directly correlated to slavery, projects being developed (where the govmnt provided housing and food to single mothers) and the prison system and if you don't, take the time to educate yourself. If our men were hung, unfairly placed in the prison system and women were left to be the providers and breadwinners in the household, obviously after generations of that happening the women become dominate (and don't respect men) and the men never learn to lead. It's called a generational curse and obviously its real. That's common sense. It's dumb to blame the women just like its dumb to blame the men. Fuck the reason, offer a solution. You may have the right mindset but your delivery sounds bitter AF. Like you don't have any respect for black women in general which is why you probably haven't attracted the type of woman you think you deserve. You need to work on whatever issues you have so that you can teach others & help the narrative. I had some I had to work on too.

    There is feminine and dominate energy and SOME of us know how to recognize and treat a real protector provider man. And SOME of ya'll know how to lead without being told. I'm not a man, so I'm not competing or doing anything I deem to be a mans job. But talking down to each other ain't gone cut it. Otherwise, I agree 100% with what you said.

  • Nita Pie

    Can she read yet?

  • Not Today, get behind me.

    A black man who respect his mom meaning how hard she has worked for his black azz as a black woman. What she went through that hurt him to the core that no dang black woman should NEVA go through in history are the ones who know who they are as a man.

  • T Willis

    Part of the reason for the high amount of ‘ain’t sh*t men’ due to the ‘ain’t sh*t women’ raising them. That’s why there’s more of them than ever - because this is the highest documented rate of single motherhood. That’s why these ain’t sh*t men are catty, emotional, and ill equipped to lead a cat out of paper bag - they were never taught how and they only know how to view situations from an emotional lens. That balance that existed 50 years ago has been removed from most black communities.