Shawn Mendes hates yelling at his submissive girlfriend, Camila Cabello, because she "shrinks" whenever he raises his voice.
The 22-year-old pop singer fears his relationship with Camila will become abusive.
The Canadian star admits he often checks himself when he and the 24-year-old Cuban singer have a falling out, and he hates the way he makes her feel.
"I raised my voice at her and she was like, 'I don't like it when you raise your voice. Why did you raise your voice?'" he told the Man Enough podcast.
"I got so defensive. I was like, 'I wasn't raising my voice at you!' And I did raise my voice at her. And I felt her shrink and I felt me grow and I was like, 'Oh God, this is the worst'. I'm so terrified of being evil. I'm so scared to be bad."
Shawn says his insecurity causes him to lash out at the former Fifth Harmony member, and he fears he will lose her if he doesn't seek help for his undiagnosed mental health issues.
"Maybe there even is bad inside of me, and I have to just accept that that exists, and that other part of me, he's just got to be here and we've just got to work together until eventually he gets worked in all of the trauma and all of the kinks get rubbed out of him and he's OK. But I can't avoid the fact that there's a little bit of darkness inside of me and letting that darkness kind of be present is a horrible feeling."
Shawn recalls how Camila helps him with his anxiety and mental health issues, and now admits she also comforts him after he loses his temper.
"She comforted me, and then it took me, like, 20 minutes of us separately reading our books to be able to come back to her and be like, 'God, that was a whole thing and I'm really sorry.'"
Shawn is desperate to rid himself of his demons, because a submissive woman like Camila is hard to find.