First Lady Michelle Obama graces the cover of Vogue again. The last time she covered Vogue was in 2009, a year after Barack Obama won his historic first term in the White house. She’s wearing a Reed Krakoff dress on the April 2013 cover.
In the in-depth article, Mrs. Obama, and her husband Barack, discuss their lives together and how his presidency has drastically altered the dynamics of their marriage. Their personal revelations sheds light on why they took separate vacations last month.
Mrs. Obama recalls setting Barack Obama’s bachelor pad in Washington on fire to force him to move.
“…Campaigns weren’t as expensive,” said Barack. “So a lot of members of Congress bought homes here in the area; their kids went to school here; they ended up socializing in part because their families were here. By the time I got to the Senate, that had changed. Michelle and the girls, for example, stayed in Chicago, and I had this little bachelor apartment that Michelle refused to stay in because she thought it was a little, uh. . . .You know, pizza boxes everywhere,” he says. “When she came, I had to get a hotel room.”
Michelle Obama leans in to the writer, “That place caught on fire,” she said.
“It did end up catching on fire,” says the president sheepishly.
Mr. Obama gave his thoughts on how his presidency has driven a wedge between him and Michelle.
“She is a great mom. What is also true is Michelle’s had to accommodate”—he pauses for a long while—“a life that”—another pause—“it’s fair to say was not necessarily what she envisioned for herself. She has to put up with me. And my schedule and my stresses. And she’s done a great job on that. But I think it would be a mistake to think that my wife, when I walk in the door, is, Hey, honey, how was your day? Let me give you a neck rub. It’s not as if Michelle is thinking in terms of, How do I cater to my husband? I think it’s much more, We’re a team, and how do I make sure that this guy is together enough that he’s paying attention to his girls and not forgetting the basketball game that he’s supposed to be going to on Sunday? So she’s basically managing me quite effectively—that’s what it comes down to. I’m sure Valerie might have made it sound more romantic.”
Mrs. Obama struggled to explain how she manages life with a man who exhibits narcissistic tendencies, by “mirroring” him.
“Well, patience and calm I’m borrowing,” says the First Lady. “Or trying to mirror. I’ve learned that from my husband, that sort of, you know, ability to not get too high or too low with changes and bumps in the road . . . to do more breathing in and just going with it. I’m learning that every day. And to the extent that I’ve made changes in my life, it’s just sort of stepping back and seeing a change not as something to guard against but as a wonderful addition . . . that can make life fun and unexpected. Oftentimes, it’s the way we react to change that is the thing that determines the overall experience. So I’ve learned to let go and enjoy it and take it in and not take things too personally.”
Like most narcissists, the president often forgets that the world doesn’t revolve around him. Barack says Mrs. Obama constantly reminds him to make time for their daughters, Malia and Sasha:
“And what Michelle has done is to remind me every day of the virtues of order.” The First Lady lets out a big laugh. “Being on time. Hanging up your clothes. Being intentional about planning time with your kids. In some ways I think . . . we’re very different people, and some of that’s temperamental, some of it is how we grew up. Michelle grew up in a model nuclear family: mom, dad, brother… My mother was this wonderful spirit, and she was adventurous but not always very well organized. And, so, what that means is that I’m more comfortable with change and adventure and trying new things, but the downside of it is, sometimes—particularly when we were early on in our marriage—I wasn’t always thinking about the fact that my free-spirited ways might be having an impact on the person I’m with. And conversely, early in our marriage, Michelle provided this sense of stability and clarity and certainty about things, but sometimes she resisted trying something new just because it might seem a little scary or push her out of her comfort zone. I think what we’ve learned from each other is that sense of. . . .” “Balance,” she says. “There’s no doubt I’m a better man having spent time with Michelle. I would never say that Michelle’s a better woman, but I will say she’s a little more patient.”
Spotted on Celebitchy.com
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