Why is everyone expressing shock at the revelations that Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick carried on an illicit affair with his sexy chief of staff, Christine Beatty? That should have been a no brainer (so to speak). All women should know if you are married to a handsome man who is in a position of power - expect your man to cheat.

You can face the facts or you can live in constant denial. If you find your man irresistible, chances are other women do too. It isn't always your man's fault: it is preordained that a man cannot reject the advances of a beautiful woman. When God said man should be fruitful and multiply, he wasn't talking about growing crops.

According to the Detroit Free Press, text messages show Kilpatrick and his chief of staff, Christine Beatty, lied at the whistle-blower trial when they testified last summer they did not have a sexual relationship.

Apparently a few of the Mayor's male staff members blew the whistle on the couple. Kilpatrick emphatically denied the allegations that he behaved improperly with Beatty. "I think it was pretty demoralizing to her -- you have to know her -- but it's demoralizing to me as well," he said then. "I think it's absurd to assert that every woman that works with a man is a whore.

But the text messages prove otherwise:

"I'm madly in love with you," Kilpatrick wrote on Oct. 3, 2002.

"I hope you feel that way for a long time," Beatty answered. "In case you haven't noticed, I am madly in love with you, too!"

Beatty: "And, did you miss me, sexually?"

Kilpatrick: "Hell yeah! You couldn't tell. I want some more. "

Remember ladies: it's in a man's nature to lie about the other woman even to the point of accusing others of lying on him. But your instincts never lie.


Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick kisses his wife in Florida yesterday. Click image to enlarge.

  • J Gats Juice

    "Remember ladies: it’s in a man’s nature to lie about the other woman even to the point of accusing others of lying on him. But your instincts never lie."

    ************************************************************

    I'll be so happy when u find a man that puts the pound game on u, treats u right and makes u happy... geez!!!!

  • katgirl33

    But she ain't lying J Gats.....it's so, so many men out here who behave that way. I'm not man bashing, and LOVE men....but Sandra has a point.

  • shhhh

    Why this guy always look like a big ole piece of cardboard in clothes to me. His face cute, but his body is to damn big for me.

  • mssmith

    You are soooo negative. It's frustrating at time to read your point of view and follow your logic. You get what you believe. If you believe all men's nature is to lie about other women and cheat, that's what you'll attract. Do you have anything positive to say about our black men? Do you even like men? And if he did cheat, all men don't cheat. And all relationships take hard work. Grow up, Sandra.

  • Bsoul

    Not all men will cheat. However, I wouldn't never say that any ONE man wouldn't.

    When God told man to be fruitful, there were stipulations to that; he wasn't to go all willy-nilly sleeping with any and everybody. Stop giving DOGS and "excuse" to cheat.

  • ElleCook

    If I had to go by what I see in the media then I can see why you believe what you believe and say what you do. Fortunately, the real men that grew up seeing didnt always fall into this kind of temptation. That's the difference a real man will believe that Gods word is true and stick to that. "lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil" Gods word does not contradict itself. He did not say "do not commit fornication and adultery" then turn around and say "be fruitful and multiply with who ever and when ever."

  • Bsoul

    *wouldn't ever.

    Kudos to you men (and women for that matter) who are being faithful. No one said it was easy.

    @ Sandra. Are you going to let J Gats in on the "secret"?

  • nonya

    He's NOT handsome, probably a crook the wife is doing a Hillary Clinton stand by her man bull crap. GOOD OLE POLITICS people change games remain the same.

  • aqtpie

    Bsoul said:
    @ Sandra. Are you going to let J Gats in on the “secret”?
    ________

    LOL I am always thinking the same thing when I read people asking Sandra has she been burned by a man, or needing one. LOL the only thing is, it's no secret for Sandra, she could've denied it but I've only seen her acknowledge it, which tells me even though she can be mean, hateful, and biased she is definitely secure within herself.

  • hellava10

    LMAO @ Bsoul--tee hee hee

    Onto the topic @ hand. Now sit back and watch Beatty become the 'victim'.

  • J Gats Juice

    I never said she was wrong, I know men lie about the simplest things. Lord knows I've been there. Thank God I got it right this time (and I'm over the moon happy)But Sandra's like that girlfriend who has been cheated on & dogged out by so many men that she's just unhappy. She is not the first one u go to when ur man proposes to u because all she's gonna say is "it'll be over in a year." Just read the mess she writes. I have a friend just like her (sometimes I regret answering her calls cuz she never has anything nice to say about the opposite sex).... Just a kill-joy....

  • Bsoul

    @ aqtpie
    I get you, that's why I put secret in quotation marks.
    J Gats Juice seems to be a smart cookie, I'm sure she'll get the hint. ;^D

    @ ElleCook
    I agree, whole-heartedly, with what you said. You summed up what I would have...had I not taken that NyQuil. LOL!

  • http://www.sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    aqtpie Says:

    LOL the only thing is, it’s no secret for Sandra, she could’ve denied it but I’ve only seen her acknowledge it, which tells me ...she is definitely secure within herself.
    ````````````````````````````````````````````

    Thanks girl! :)

  • J Gats Juice

    LOL @ Bsoul!!!! I got it!!! LOL :D

  • http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

    Sandra you know I been going crazy for the opportunity to laugh at LL Cool Kwame. Thank you for finally rolling out the story. I keep checking the Detroit papers to see if he has come out of hiding yet. He actually seems to be ashamed this time. Lawd knows that's a first.

  • hellava10

    They are both at fault. When will women stop ALLOWING married men to make them fools? He will never leave his wife and you will never be a priority. Who would want a man that would neglect his family for some booty? I know there are Superheads types out there. (Yep, that's still her name-don't care whose cover she's on--skank is a skank). I'll be glad when the days of being a jump off are frowned upon. It's become the norm and in the day of AIDS-it ain't cool. Don't know about the wife or the marriage, but you have to have some respect for your vows that you made before God. Goodness. Jumpoffs will never get the prize. Get a therapist, a dog and find some self esteem.

  • Bsoul

    For most of us regulars, Sandra is like the aunt in the family that says whatever comes to her mind (you either like her or you can't stand her) one way or the other, you can't stay away. I pivoted between love and dislike of my aunt--we'll call her Sadie; girlfriend would always be the struck match at family gatherings once she got hold to some dark liquor.

    Being around aunt Sadie was a paradox; while you couldn't wait to see her because you knew you'd learn new family dirt, you also dreaded it because you knew the roof would blow sky high when everyone reacted.

    I sure miss her. Hmmmmmm,come to think of it, we should probably exhume aunt Sadie's body. They say she died of natural causes, but this little reminiscing session has me second-guessing that now.

  • niastar

    "it is preordained that a man cannot reject the advances of a beautiful woman. When God said man should be fruitful and multiply, he wasn’t talking about growing crops."
    ___________________________________________________________

    Get the heck out of here. Somebody really messed over you. Do not turn God's words around babygirl because YOU have issues with the opposite sex. Yes, this man is a fool beyond words and so is the chick and there are men that cheat and women, but every man does not cheat. Don't pass your judgement of whatever man that threw you under the bus off on every man in the world.

  • terika83

    Sandra, ALL men are not dogs. No they are not perfect, as no one is. But you make it seem like all men are this way. Most prob. are, but there are some guys out there that if they really love you, wouldn't do certain things to you. Give those guys a chance...geez.

  • aqtpie

    @J Gats Juice #11
    I didn't know everybody had a friend like that. LOL
    ______________________
    @Bsoul # my bad for not catching the quotations, I know you knew. & @ ur post #17, are we related? LOL I loved my auntie too but, lord knows unless she was drinking, I stayed my distance. =) Sandra has defintitely pissed me off to no end, I just come to accept, she is what she is and no amount of arguing, name calling, putting down her celeb favorites *which I don't* is going to change her or her opinions. When it comes to facts, if she's proven wrong, 9 times out of 10 she'll admit it but, when it comes to her opinion that's a whole nother matter. It is what it is, "love her or leave her"!!! LOL
    ______________________
    Now back to this lying, cheating, whoremonger and Mrs. Beatty, isn't any better, she was married too and they both knew this. They both know they were wrong for this and especially him being in a higher position and to think he used millions of taxpayers dollars when he could've just told the truth, this is just disgusting on so many levels. I read more texts at http://freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080123/NEWS05/301230008
    shaking my head at both of them, especially him. The affair is one thing that could have been just between them, their spouses *then spouse for her* and their family if that was their choice but, the lying under oath and costing those taxpayers millions of dollars is another. If you can lie so callously about an affair under oath, knowing you were spending millions of dollars of hard earned money from your own tax paying citizens; How can I believe you about anything else? From what I read though, he will still have a lot of people on his side and it looks like, his wife is included. Thanks Bird for the good read.

  • hellava10

    *** can't help but read some of these posts and giggle***

  • shandy

    My My! Sandra, you sound like a woman scorned big time.
    God neva said to man to go out and multiply (ie cheat).
    Dont over emphasise on what you know nothing about, especially wen you make out ure a christian.
    Learn how to release your bitterness towards men by other means.(maybe by having a closer relationship with God: always teaching about forgiveness and empowering one self)
    I pray you will one day find a good man that will treat you right, or else you are gonna end up a bitter ole lady.lol

  • mzzphateegirl@yahoo.com

    if his wife dnt care that he cheated, i sure as hell dont either. is his wife love it, i like it. more power to her.now back to more important shit goin on in this world.lol

  • topsecret02

    Call me crazy but i think that it is so stupid to say that all men cheat. I still believe that not all men cheat. Now maybe most but not all. We should never put it out there that just because a man is nice looking and in a position of power that we expect them to cheat. Luckily for me I've had great examples of good faithful men from my granddad, father, uncles and even some of my cousins so I strongly believe that it is very possible to have a good honest man. If in fact the mayor did cheat it has nothing to do with him being a man he was just being a weak man, who didn't value what he already had.

  • http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

    I made my comment before reading the blog. Now a sista got the full picture.

    Sandra I used to think all men cheated until I started meeting men who didn't cheat. Not men I had been dating, but men I was friends with. I can no longer say that all men cheat.

    As for LL Cool Kwame, of course he is a cheater. He has some kind of self image problem that makes him want to be a roughneck or Diddy-like. This whole issue all stems from a party at the mayor's mansion that was held years ago. LL Cool Kwame has done all kinds of dirt to cover that mess up possibly including murder.

  • brenden

    This has got to be some of the most prejudice, yet comical nonsense I've read in a while. That's right ladies marry a man who looks like flavor flav or else he'll cheat,,,,but wait flav has been known to cheat as well so now what? In fact if you ask me the less "desirable" your man is the more likely he'll cheat. Men that are insecure are the ones who tend to cheat. But even that theory is shattered by those who aren't insecure that cheat. Men who live below the poverty line yet have several babys momas are not in "positions of authority" yet they cheat? The truth is there is no full proof way to predict whether or not a man is going to be a cheater. Were not talking gaydar here.lol. Last but not least women who walk around constantly stressing themselves over whether or not their man is cheating are just setting themselves up for a stress filled worrisome life of heartache and failure.jmo. And may I ask how does 1 have such a strong opinion if they have no degree and/or experience on the subject matter? No offense intended but I'm just saying.

  • MZN

    Well Sandra has admitted to being a Lesbian for one, so of course she doesn't like men! But she is right and I believe she is very secure within herself.
    It's just in a man's nature to have other women. I say, who cares! As long as whoever he is with doesn't have any diseases and doesn't bring forth any snot-nosed kids.
    It just blows a woman's mind esp BW when other women say that all men cheat. I guess not all women are secure within themselves (those in denial). 9 times of 10 the "other woman" is just a "jump off," nothing more, nothing less. As long as he is taking care of his family, and his family comes first, oh well. Men just can't help themselves. LOL And this is not coming from a "bitter woman." Like I said, I could care less. I know my position and I play it well:)

  • aqtpie

    @Sandra
    You're welcome, it's true. However; your statement "it is preordained that a man cannot reject the advances of a beautiful woman". That is not true. ALL men do not cheat!!!!!
    ______
    For the men who do and have women who know and put up with it, I'm sorry, as wrong as it is, I'm not mad at you and that's vice versa. I've said it a million times and I stand by it, if you cheat or hit me once, I am out the door. I am and look to good to deserve anything less and that is what I will always give.

  • MZN

    It is supposed to say Who ever he is with.***

  • J Gats Juice

    thank u brendan!!!!! to me, it depends on the woman (speaking for myself & no one else). If I am secure enough in myself to believe that I am a great woman & my man has no reason to cheat, then I believe the relationship will be that much better. U cant predict that an attractive man will cheat, because he may not be that type. U cant predict that a poor man wont cheat, because he just may dog u. U just have to have faith that ur man realizes what he has & pray that he wont jeopardize that for anything. Perhaps, LL Cool Kwame didnt realize his wife's worth until he was caught slippin.

  • MZN

    Hey Kwame looks like a fat version of Big Boi!

  • ms.kimba412

    Sandra & Co. - If the worse that could be said for Kwame is that he cheats on his wife with his subordinates, leased a brand-new Navigator on taxpayer dollars,hosts strippers at the official residence, gets caught by his wife &, amidst taxpayer outrage proclaims the strip party an 'urban legend' - some folks could look the other way as long as he's good for the city. Hell, these same folks even re-elected him!
    But then Kwame had to have the stripper killed, fire good officers, lie under oath, and then be stupid enough to text his girlfriend about it all on their city-owned Blackberrys! While I'm sure he's no longer LOL, I am PMSL at his dumb a**.

  • aqtpie

    LOL @MZN/ He does favor Big Boi
    @ms.kimba412/ Dead stripper? Ole Lord
    @brendan/Co-sign

  • prynsexxx

    Kwame had a stripper killed????????? - What in the pimp rock is going on here?

    Sandra's a lesbian??????????????

    Well thank you for Friday's news!

  • ms.kimba412

    @aqtpie - wife walked into the mansion, caught the stripper dancing on Kwame's lap, allegedly beat the woman and sent her to the hospital. Of course - since the party NEVER happened - the hospital records conveniently disappeared! The dismissed officers in the whistle blower lawsuit were investigating the party, misconduct by Kwame's bodyguards re:overtime, and the death of the stripper after she was found dead in her car on Detroit's westside a few months after the party. The stripper's 14 year-old son has filed a lawsuit against the city. Check out http://www.detnews.com - they have all the info.

  • http://www.myspace.com/aaronmichaelofatm AaronMichael

    <----- Not in my nature to cheat. Any real man with decency and respect for himself and his partner would display self control in that type of situation.

    When women begin to feel it's in a mans nature to do these sorts of things 1. They will allow men to think this behavior is appropriate and 2. They will sell themselves short of being treated like they Queen they were meant to be.

    If a woman has the mentality that it's in a mans nature and he's going to do it anyway, then you will most likely be cheated on and pretty much deserve it. If you take care of a good man he will take care of you. When your all that he needs, he won't go looking for it in someone else.

  • Brown Suga Baby

    Ok Ok!!!!!!! New For This Year GET SANDRA a man so he can put it on her. Why the man bashing all the time. If you are so tired of men doing what they do. You know the saying, you just do it better than they do, feel me. Damn a man or woman for that matter would get tired of all of your bashing and leave you. I don't mean be a man's fool but damn play the game with them. A nagging woman is horrible. Be Easy!!

    P.S. This is coming from a female.

  • luvsmoochez

    Good lawd, I am enjoyeing this post today. WOW. Sandra, now that we've been let in on the 'secret' it does explain allot of your attitude. It makes me sad to hear that 'all men cheat'. Christianity has failed if that's the case. There are some folks out there with morals and good character. They've been hard for me to find, but I gotta keep hope alive. Stop stomping on my dreams...LOL. Thanks Sandra, you're always entertaining.

  • aqtpie

    @ms.kimba412
    Ole Lord!! Jesus be a castrater and a chastity belt, this is tooo much for me in one day.

  • http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

    I'm sorry that Sandra kinda made this post solely about men cheating. Kwame is a lesson in unchecked political corruption and we didn't really get to talk about that. Oh well. Another site had a good discussion on it yesterday so at least I got a little intellectual nourishment on the topic.

  • http://www.weneedtostop.com 2Unruly

    LOL

    When I read "expect your man to cheat" I knew the fire storm was coming....LOL

    Those two are just cold busted.

  • ms.kimba412

    @AaronMichael - Co-Sign! Most of the men I know conduct themselves in the same way you do. Cheating is NOT acceptable.

  • ElleCook

    @Aaron Micheal... spoken like a true gentleman.

  • http://mskimba412.blogspot.com ms.kimba412

    Bird says:
    I’m sorry that Sandra kinda made this post solely about men cheating. Kwame is a lesson in unchecked political corruption and we didn’t really get to talk about that.
    ********************************************************
    @Bird - I totally co-sign. Kwame IS a lesson in unchecked political corruption. It's not really a cheating issue. His overall morality is in question because he believes the rules don't apply to him. And so far - they haven't! He has managed to charm his way out of every tight spot. And for once I agree w/L. Brooks Patterson (a noted Detroit-hater) - This is one hell of a self-made mess!

  • http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

    Ms. Kimba

    I keep checking freep and detnews to see if Kwame has come out of hiding to face his city. I wonder who is advising him that it is wise for him to avoid the issue. Just now I saw a statement from Beatty's attorney that she has no intention on resigning. Clearly they still think this is some kind of joke. If she doesn't resigned she needs to be fired and the city just needs to gear up to pay her a fat settlement for sexual harassment unless Kwame steps down as well.

  • katgirl33

    I just came from detnews.....I had no idea this situation was so WILD! The stripper got busted by the Mayor's wife giving him a lap dance, later gets killed in a Drive by ??????

    That sounds like more than a coincidence......

    WTH to all of this.....DANG!

  • allhoney915

    I am sorry but I agree with Sandra. Most men cant be trusted as far as you can see them. They can't help themselves. They could completely happy in their current relationship but its inevitable...the thrill of the chase or the need for extra attention is in their DNA. I think there are more cheaters than there are men in committed men in the world. It's not male bashing its just a fact.

  • http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

    Ok just did another media check and a rep for Kwame said the lawyer was not authorized to speak on Beatty's behalf about her not resigning. They say she will make her own statement at some point in the near future. I guess they are strategizing right now.

  • precious1

    I think the whole thing is crazy! He abused his power...end of story. AS far as the cheating, it just speaks volue to what he and the woman feel about themselves. He doesn't feel man enough to be faithful and she doesn't feel woman enough to demand a faithful man.

    If I was the wife, I would take the loot, chuck both the dueces and hit the road. As far as the women, I'll pray that she gets some balls to love herself enough to not sell herself short. She probably thought being his sidepiece and sneaking around the wife made her special. Like every jumpoff it makes her a fool. Save the it just happened and we love each other bs for my 7 year old! Grown people should havea grown ass mentality!

  • precious1

    Oh...I forgot to add that neither of them warrant any long gazes or second looks!!!

  • andriceb

    1. christine beatty is not cute, neither is her attitude.
    2. I don't care who Kwame sleeps with since that is between him and his wife. I am pissed that these coons have cost the hard working long suffering folk of detroit 9 million dollars and counting.
    3. kwame needs his ass whooped...in public
    4. I now believe that he was involved in the deaths of those two dancers.

  • andriceb

    alright precious!

  • Bsoul

    DNA my.... Most behavior is learned. If you see your dad and/or other prominent males in your life cheating without consequenses, you're very likely to be tempted into cheating too. Then you have those who want to fit in with those by the watercooler and their illicit weekend tales.

    Saying all males will cheat is similar to saying all Blacks will steal.

    Want to eliminate cheating? Implant electronic shockers with a programable DNA-code at the end of everyone's genitals. Once married, the wife and husband can set their DNA coded to their spouses genitals. If anyone else touches the spot for a substantial amount of time, a huge electrical jolt is set off!

    Yes, I know that idea is way out there, but I sure had fun thinking of it. LOL!

  • http://www.myspace.com/aaronmichaelofatm AaronMichael

    @allhoney915 "They could completely happy in their current relationship but its inevitable…the thrill of the chase or the need for extra attention is in their DNA."

    Maybe I missed it growing up, but can you please lead me to the proof that you have that this is in my DNA? Actually on second thought...I won't ask you to waste your time you already did a good job of that with your comment.

    On a serious note, realize you said they could be completely happy. Then secondly understand what the word complete means. Maybe I'm out on a limb by myself here but if a man cheats, clearly he is not completely happy.

    To be complete means to not lack. It's when we lack something that we go searching for ways to fullfill that. Maybe someone says they're completely happy, but we all know actions speak louder than words. It's time we start making people accountable by not only the things they say but also how their actions agree or disagree with that.

  • allhoney915

    Wow...now I know how Sandra feels when her right to personal expression is challenged.....I did not literally mean that your DNA determines your ability be in a monogamous relationship. I commend you AaronMicheal if you have that under control. :D. In my opinion....it does appear that men seem to have this innate desire to play the field :D. That's my story and I am sticking to it.

  • http://www.myspace.com/aaronmichaelofatm AaronMichael

    I never challenged your right to personal expression so it is unfortunate if you feel that way. What I am challenging is unfounded views and inaccurate so called facts.

    Your own words "It’s not male bashing its just a fact." Sorry I disagree. You are more than entitled to your opinion and your version of the story, all I'm saying is make sure your words have a solid foundation so that they can stand on something.

    That innate desire to play the feel is a lack of being complete and desiring something other than what you have. I believe some of it has to do with the man himself (sometimes they don't know what they want) but for the ones like me that do (sometimes the woman fails to provide). There's two or more sides to every story, it just depends on whose telling it.

  • luvsmoochez

    co-sign bird.

    @ bsoul..that's some funny stuff right there. I'm glad you took the time to share that one. And thanks for the point about things being in the DNA. That's real talk. These explanations of people's actions are just laziness. Call people on the carpet for their actions, don't blame it on DNA.

  • http://mskimba412.blogspot.com ms.kimba412

    @Bird...I don't know if they think it's a joke - in all honesty, I think Kwame has finally been confronted with a situation he's unable to charm his way out of.

    Re: CB & sexual harrassment - I said the same thing to my boss today. CB is his subordinate. If she is fired, she can always say she participated in the affair beause she feared for her job. His power over her makes it sexual harassment - I THINK (I'm not a lawyer). And you know, some politicos are saying he HAS to fire her in order to regain some semblance of credibility.

    @Bsoul - very well said! That behavior is LEARNED.

  • http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

    Precious,

    Ms. Beatty was not some low self-esteem hoochie. She has been friends with Kwame since high school and has worked with him practically his whole political career even before he became mayor. Who knows how long they were messing around. She was also married at the time of the affair although her and her husband have since divorced. She's a very accomplished woman albeit on Kwame's heels. Affairs in the work place happen all day everyday and that is not the big story here. The issue is the fact that both of them abused their power in more substantial ways than sleeping together.

  • http://TheBeatniksCelebrityGossip.com Seattle Slim

    I've had the pleasure to be with two wonderful men in my adult life and they have never cheated on me. We've had arguments, whatever, but they've never cheated on me. My boyfriend I am with now we stay in at night and if we go out we go out together.

    Sure when we first started dating he was distant and aloof at times but he was trying hard to hide his feelings. I know because he was inconsistent in that. When he felt he was going to lose me, he dropped the act.

    I don't think all men cheat. I don't agree. I think women lower their standards to quickly hoping things will change and they don't. Don't waste your time ladies.

  • http://mskimba412.blogspot.com ms.kimba412

    Bird, again - cosign!

  • http://www.myspace.com/aaronmichaelofatm AaronMichael

    @Seattle slim...clearly you know how to keep a man happy. Maybe you can teach a class to some of these other women who seem to think all men cheat.

    Nice to see someone else in Seattle (besides myself) with some sense!

  • http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

    ms.kimba412 Says:

    And you know, some politicos are saying he HAS to fire her in order to regain some semblance of credibility.

    **********************************************************

    I saw that too and wondered how that would help his credibility. He would be firing her for doing the exact same thing he did. Like you said, he has really painted himself into a corner this time. But that doesn't really mean anything, because I don't know how he has gotten away with all the other things. I was shocked beyond belief that he was even re-elected. Then I just had to remember Marion Barry.

  • saywhat

    Where do I start....

    First of all being a man of power doesn't have anything to do with a man cheating. Men without any power cheat everyday. What kind of ignorance is that? Men are not some helpless creatures that don't have any self control! Men are not animals that need to be kept on a short leash in order for them to behave! Stop making excuses for men and hold them accountable for their actions! If a man cheats it's because that's what he wants to do! Ladies, stop thinking it's always about what you are or are not doing. Take my word for it, you can go above and beyond to make him happy but if he wants to cheat there is nothing you can do to stop it. Most of the time its greed and about getting NEW p!&&y. They see something they like and want to pursue it. At that point they have to make the decision if it's worth it or not. Some will take the risk and go for it while others practice self control and go home! Women aren't always satisfied at home. Men are not ALWAYS the bomb in bed! I don't know where this myth came from that men are the only ones that need satisfaction. You don't see the majority of us running out to the next man because we are lacking on the home front. It comes down to character, communication, and morals!

    Stop thinking you can "keep" a man with good sex and a good meal. Sorry but men can get that anywhere! A grown man shouldn't have to be "kept". It takes two to work on the relationship and please each other.

  • http://mskimba412.blogspot.com ms.kimba412

    @Bird,

    No, we haven't heard from the Mayor yet. The only statement he's made so far was his to express his 'embarassment' over the release of 5yr-old txt. msgs,. and to ask the media and public to respect his privacy in this 'difficult' time. My response to this request - "Kwame(trying to be PC), please."

  • Bsoul

    @ aqtpie

    Yeah, I never got the name-calling either. If but for nothing more, Sandra's site serves as a cool place to pick up the latest tidbits in our community. I take the not-so-good talk with a grain of salt. From what I can tell, her good points seem to out-weigh some of the crazy views she has.LOL!

    @ Allhoney.
    I would never deny you the right to your opinion--just as I would hope that you would never deny me the right to challenge it. Feel free to reciprocate.

  • blkdiamonn

    It's not that it is in a man's nature to cheat, the real issue is that we force monogamy on ourselves when by nature we are not monogamous creatures.

    Cheating implies lying, and the lying is the real issue! Men are known to be visual creatures, and they are always going to be tempted by the forbidden fruit (ie. chics with their tits propped up to the sky, short skirts, makeup, see through shirts with bras,etc.) we walk out the house seeking attention from other people, and then we are shocked when men get weak and are put in a position in which they have to try to fight temptation!That's just not realistic, and most chic ar too naive to realize that the mere fact that we get sexually aroused by other human beings even when we are in a relationship or marriage is because we are hard wired this way. I always say just be honest with your mate...and you never know what will happen!!! People are open too all kinds of things, and you never know until you talk about it honestly.

    Take Kwame K. for example. I live in Detroit, and am more than familiar with his affairs...his wife is too! She has been ok with him dating other women, and even has always known about Christinne, we all attended the same high school for Gods sake!! She also knows of the countless other women that he has dated but, she accepts it and is ok with the situation...that's her business!!

    Now, I'm not saying it's right but, I know that it doesn't even seem natural to have sex with same person for like 20-30 years and I know that when I get married, my fiance' and I have decided that if there comes a time in our marriage and we are bored with each other and we have exhausted all options (ie toys, different place, etc.) We are honest enough with each other to explore other options before "cheating" becomes an issue. We are not against the possibility of having sex with other people, but it's something that we must agree about mutually. Most chic too naive to realize that men get bored with the same old cooch, and eventually want something different.

  • Anna

    I always thought Kwame was alittle shady. I was also surprised to learn that the citizens of Detroit reelected this man. I saw a program with him and his daily interaction with his family in their home. Did not really look like a normal family to me. It was too perfect. Who does not have alittle choas in the morning getting young kids fed and off to school in the morning? lol. Christine is actally a very attractive woman. Just a very unflattering pic of her. Yes he did over use his authority and power. It does take two to tangle and the issue is not the affair itself per say but they lied under oath. It is up to the prosecutor to open an investigation for lying. Right now it is idle. I am sure the public out cry will persude a investigation other wise the prosector will lose their job. perjury can get you up to 15 years.

  • blkdiamonn

    BTW. I AM SO GLAD THAT THIS STRIPPER ISSUE IS FINALLY ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN AN URBAN LEGEND FOR A YEARS BUT, ALL THE EVIDENCE HAS MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPERAED. NOW THAT HAVE JUST CAUSE TO INVESTIGATE...THE PLOT THICKENS.

    KWAME DEFINITELY HAD A GOOD RUN...BUT, WE ALL KNOW THAT HE IS A WOLF IN SHEEPS CLOTHING AND DIAMOND STUDDED EARRINGS..LOL!!

    I PRAY THAT WE CAN NOW GET SOME REAL LEADERSHIP IN THE CITY OF DETROIT, INSTEAD OF THIS SAME OLE COONERY!! KWAME NEEDS TO RESIGN TOMORROW....AND MS. BEATTY DOES TOO!!

  • saywhat

    Most chic too naive to realize that men get bored with the same old cooch, and eventually want something different.

    LOL, as if WE don't get bored too! Please!

  • Bsoul

    Dr. Phil had swingers on his show today and they tried to sell crazy too.

    Even those who agree to cheat on eachother with other partners, get cheated on. Anyone openly asking me to cheat should hit the door. No matter how old my hoo-hoo gets, it doesn't deserve a disease. Knowing I okayed the disease would tear me up--literally and figuratively.

    The whole premise behind cheating is the thrill of the chase and the thought of getting away with something. You agreeing to open up your relationship will not satiate the thirst of a cheater. If a man or woman will get bored being with JUST you, they will also get bored of being with YOU and another person together; trust that a cheater will seek sex without you, no matter what "arrangement(s)" you've agreed to. You can fool yourself into thinking this little agreement will hold up if you want to, but know that you've been warned that it won't.

    Women and men, don't settle just to keep a dog or a whore in your life! If he or she doesn't want to be exclusive to you (no matter what lame excuse) and you want to be exclusive, get out. A piece of man or woman is NOT better than being by yourself with good health and peace of mind.

    Back to our regularly scheduled program.

  • skateboardlover

    I must agree. All men cheat, not all women find out.
    That's the difference.

    While I agree most men lie and cheat, there is alway some willing, stupid tramp willing to oblige him knowing full well the "man" is in a relationship.
    And before some of you get on this "she has no loyality" to wife or the girlfriend. You're right, she doesn't. She should have loyality to herself to want more...but if that were the case some of these women wouldn't sleep with men in relationships in the first place.

    signed
    bitter party of 1

  • Anna

    Update. It is now being reported that the mayor was with a mystery woman in South Carolina last weekend. The reporters told the story to the residents of Detroit about this recent discovery. What was their reaction? They laughed. Sounds like a immediate impeachment to me. Or a swift and speedy resignation. Otherwise he has some serious explaining to do. I will even give him the benefit of the doubt and if he says it's his sister I might considerer believing it. Yeah right!

  • http://TheBeatniksCelebrityGossip.com Seattle Slim

    Wow what an excellent point BSoul.

    I've heard that we aren't hard wired to be monogamous thing before and read about it in books that were trying to talk about the decay of the family structure, particularly the urban family structure.

    See that might work when you take "love" out of the equation. When you love someone, you will be tempted yest, but love is way too strong to be defeated.

    I love my boyfriend to death. I see plenty of attractive men but there's something about having sex with the person you love, or you are in love with that never really gets old. There is something about being in love with and sharing time with that person that's better than any ass chasing.

    I was watching Millionaire Matchmaker and you have these rich men who could score any piece of tale in the WORLD just by being rich, they aren't ugly either, and they want to be set up with someone they can share their life with, and be exclusive to.

    We might be hardwired for sex but we are also hardwired for love and monogamy.

    The person that needs to keep finding sex with new people needs an out because they are errant and are always looking for something new. If that's the case, don't get married.

  • http://TheBeatniksCelebrityGossip.com Seattle Slim

    *correction TAIL not TALE

  • sanaa312

    I live in Detroit and was not shocked at all by this. During Kwame's first term he used to be at the club. He is a really cool guy who I have met personally. I voted for him both times and though I am dissapointed in his discretions I still feel he is doing a good job for the city even if his personal life is out of order. I feel for his wife Carlita because she seems to be a wonderful woman. I think that Christine Beatty should step down but her lawyer said yesterday that she has no plans to. I agree with some of the previous posters that not all men cheat. Kwame has made some bad decisions in the past and its time to move on. Hopefully he learned his lesson this time.

  • http://mskimba412.blogspot.com ms.kimba412

    @sanaa13
    sanaa13, I live in Detroit, too. This isn't the 1st time Kwame's indiscretions have come to light. It seems whenever he's caught doing wrong - Detroiters (read Black, which I am) rally to support him. That's what got him reelected, I think.
    But this time it isn't an issue of Oakland County execs, and suburbanites attempting to railroad Kwame, as it has sometimes been in the past - he perjured himself. That is the real issue.

  • andriceb

    sanaa312

    with all due respect your comments soun foolish. However they do give insight into how this clearly immature and wannabe individual has remained in office. As a former detroit resident and a life long michigander, I have always loved the D. I was rooting for Kwame against Gill Hill in '01 because I belived what he was saying. I guess I bought into his hype. I will admit I was a little concerned though when he continuously made references to Coleman Young and his desire to be much like him. It appears he meant every word of it. Many of us should have listened. You see Coleman was a gangster and despite his positive points, there were many negative. Many that helped divide the city and ostracize it from its surrounding municipalites.

    Just an opinion a mayor should never be kicking it at Jeans and Moet or the Candy Bar, etc. Not a good professional look. That is ghetto. The desire to be seen should have been satisfied in the earlier years. For goodness sake the man is a FAMU grad....he should have partied hard years ago.

    Again, I am not at all up in arms with his lack of monogamy. I am mad that he has lied and cost the city 9 million dollars. That money could have been spent demolishing abandoned buildings or providing financing for Detroit's failing schools. Or maybe it could have been used to offset the $300 per year sanitation fees. I have close firends who have worked for and subsequently lost jobs with DPS due to funding issues.

    This man and his pitiful mistress have to go.

  • blkdiamonn

    I agree..that is a valid point! But, to each his or her own! That's why I say that naivete that most women have about a man's sexuality, is what constantly turns a man to cheating because he cannot be open about his desires with the woman he's "exlusive" and intimate with (i.e. wife or girlfriend)As I mentioned...cheating implies lying, and those that cheat will not only lie about cheating, but they will likely have questionable characters to start with. The signs are usually there!! If you are honest with, and trust your mate as a friend and partner, the dynamic is a lot different because you are able to express yourself in a more non-judgemental way.

    I challenge you to ask your man outright if he thinks receiving oral sex from another woman is considered cheating and see what he says?? Then ask him if he had the time and opportunity and see what he says?? then ask If LOVE crosses his mind when he's making these decisions and see what he says? Really check his reaction to your questions, not just his response!!!

    Only a woman would say that LOVE is ever a factor when it comes to cheating. If you have any mutual guy friends or brothers...ask them and see what they say? Get the answer from the horses mouth(Be careful though...their answers may shock you!

  • saywhat

    blkdiamonn

    What makes you think men are the ONLY ones who get bored with sex with the same partner after so long? Are you serious? Behind every bored husband or boyfriend I guarantee there's a bored wife or girlfriend! I know they might be a blow to the ego because for some reason men seem to think he's all we ever need but due to "his nature" he has needs that we can't meet. Trust me the door swings both ways.

  • Bsoul

    I mentioned indescretions of BOTH sexes. Swinging does not keep people from straying. If anything, you've voluntarily opened the door to cheating by inviting others into your relationship.

    There are just as many divorces among swingers (AND MORE DISEASES) as there are in conventional marriages. With that being said, what's the point of agreeing to swing to PREVENT cheating when you don't want that kind of a relationship to begin with? All things being equal, there are more complications in swinging relationship than there are in monogamous relationships.

    Swingers share delicate parts of their relationship with outsiders. That leaves you with NOTHING that only the two of you share...except maybe, bills. Where's the so-called excitement in that? Some things (especially sex) should be left between two commited people.

    If the attention span of either adult is so short that they get bored and want to stray, some serious mental floss in in order. There are nice books---and even---websites that help sharpen up that area.

    Congrats on the big booby prize!

  • blkdiamonn

    @ saywhat

    i'm sure i will be the one to get bored first!! i'm going to definitely try and go for as long as we can before even going that route, but i know that if i live to be 70 yrs old, that would be another 40 years doing it to the same person. and i just can't see that happenin on my part or his.

    @bsoul

    i am not by any means a swinger..and the fact that u suggest that i am just shows how narrow-minded u are when it comes to human sexuality. i'm so sure u really believin in what u say, and that's so cute...in a perfect world! but, this is 2008, not 1965...& u better wake up and stop being so naive! i'm sure that u having "relations" with your boyfriend now, and if u ever break up with him...u gone move on to somebody else, and guess what..u still susceptible to the same diseases!

  • Bsoul

    @ blkdiamonn

    You may not be a swinger, but you're going to do that thing that swingers do. YOU stated that you have this arrangement to sleep with other people; insinuating that it's going to prevent from cheating on eachother---when swinging is consential cheating. I know this isn't the first time you're hearing this.

    The fact it's 2008 should be more of an incentive to remain monogamous, Today's diseases aren't like the curable-by penicillin shots of yester-year. People (and animals) who don't have enough self-control to keep their genitals wrapped up for their committed partner, won't make it a habit of using protection either. Afterall, they get bored and can't be bothered with such "tedious" things since scratching that itch is paramount on the agenda.

    Leave the wandering to dogs on the street. At least, they have an excuse. Adults are supposed to have more self-control than that. I ask you again, what do swingers share with their primary partner that they aren't sharing with other people? NOTHING. YOU share absolutely nothing.

    It's one thing to practice uncooth behavior behind clothes doors, but a whole other to come here trying to sell that craziness as normal and the "in" thing to do to keep your dog happy.

    Your logic behind breaking up and moving on is more disturbing than your reason for swinging. The likeliness of catching a disease from a monogamous relationship is dramatically less than those who swing. You don't know who you're sleeping with when you swing. Nor can you account for all of the people they are having sex with.

    The old if-you-can't-bet-'em-join-'em theory doesn't fit here, in the least. We need to stop settling for less that what we deserve and stop buying into the latest psychologists' (who's own marriages ended in divorce) suggestions about how to spice up relationships?

  • Bsoul

    *uncouth

    Sandra, bring back the preview button!

  • Anna

    I am one who does not believe that all men cheat. I have been married for many years and as the years go by it only gets better. Yes I do notice my husband looking at other woman while in my presence. I politely say "she is pretty" he says "I was not looking at her". Human nature to people watch. People fail to realize that you can have sex with anyone you want. To have sex with someone is not the same as to be intimate with someone. To share sex with one is not the sharing of the minds. A married man is less likely to leave his wife for a romp in the hay with another woman. It will cost too much to leave and he is not emotionally attached to the other person, just lusting for something different to feed his ego. Once a woman has a child she is automatically giving the attention to the child and the man does take a back seat. We woman are too tired for love making/sex and worry about too many things (Laundry, cooking, cleaning, and working to pay the bills). Even a stay at home mom who does not have to worry about the bills still thinks they are unattractive to her husband after having his child/children. Most men don't cheat and are still if not more in love with their wife. Men need a ego boost and don't realize that as a woman we do too, not all the time but once in awhile. you can have a nice healthy marriage without having sex with someone willing to give you sex. It does take 2 to have sex and it just comes down to how much you like/cherish yourself. I love me and my husband and our marriage. My husband did have to take a back seat while we raised the children. The rewards now that the kids are of age,older and able to vote and express their opinion is priceless and a investment well worth it. To sum it up, a real man does not cheat and will cherish a family that he had a hand in raising and a wife that understands herself as a woman and him as a man. I know the saying "A man is a man and will cheat" but don't sell yourself short into thinking that all men cheat. If a wife leaves a sandwich on the stove for a man who comes home late (because he has to work late) It makes him feel like the King of his castle. and someone(his wife) cares. I want to grow old with my husband. I love that we debate about the next president. I love that we argue. I love and appreciate "our time". Who would want a perfect mate? If he agreed with every thing I do and say that would be so boring. The post was about the Mayor of Detroit. She knew what she was getting into before she married him. Some men may stray/cheat, be a crack head or drug abuser or a wife abuser. We do make our own choices and have to live with it. Hillary forgave Bill. The only thing I have to forgive my husband for is "being cheap" not a crime but someone has to be the saver of the family. ( I did not marry for money, I do make my own. Husband is the one in line that holds up the line to give exact change) lol.

  • free

    anna, that was a great post.

  • http://www.sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    Anna said:

    To have sex with someone is not the same as to be intimate with someone.
    ``````````````````````````````````````

    I say that all the time but these women who don't think their husbands don't cheat pretend not to know there's a difference.

  • J Gats Juice

    Thank u Anna, Brendan & everyone else with a grain of common sense.... All men do not cheat!! There are some men out there who love their mates & wont cheat on them. My fiance is one of them. I dont have to check his phone, email, myspace or any of that. We dont have to go everywhere together or talk 50 million times a day.... We have communication & trust. Obviously some ladies arent experiencing that.

    Allhoney said:

    I think there are more cheaters than there are men in committed men in the world. It’s not male bashing its just a fact.....

    Do u know what a fact is? A fact is something that has been proven without a shadow of a doubt. Can u prove that ur opinion is a fact?

  • http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

    I cannot believe that at 10:54 am on Monday morning this clown still has not come out of hiding. He's looking more like the low self esteem coward I thought he was.

  • http://www.sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    J Gats Juice Says:

    All men do not cheat!! There are some men out there who love their mates & wont cheat on them. My fiance is one of them.
    ````````````````````````````````````

    Unless you spend every waking hour with your man there's no way you can know that. No one is saying married men don't love their wives when they flirt with other women, but men need their egos boosted. You act like a married man has never flirted with you. Remember, most black boys are raised by single women so their need to constantly prove their manhood is very strong.

  • http://mskimba412.blogspot.com ms.kimba412

    Hey - Christine Beatty resigned this morning! Still no word from the Mayor, though.

  • J Gats Juice

    Wow... Sandra came directly at little ol me!!! Well, let me say this (and I'll try my best to say it nicely because i've said it so many times before), I dont need to stalk my man because I trust him. I dont need to check up on him or his personal matters because he has never given me a reason to doubt him. I dont need to be with him every waking second of the day because we need our space & appreciate each other's company. We send little text messages or talk a few times a day to say we miss each other. I know he loves me & I love him. Its that simple. He was raised with both parents that taught him how to be a man. Maybe u havent found a MAN & thats why u went to women. I dont know. I've had a few rotten apples & I can understand ur frustration. Like ur girl Alicia Keys said... "A REAL MAN knows a REAL WOMAN when he sees her.... A REAL man knows a woman's worth."

  • J Gats Juice

    ms.kimba412 Says:

    Hey - Christine Beatty resigned this morning! Still no word from the Mayor, though.

    ************************************************************

    I thought this happened a couple of years ago... why did she wait until now to resign? I'm just curious.

  • http://mskimba412.blogspot.com ms.kimba412

    The affaif supposedly ended a few years ago, but the text messages were just released last week. They prove both Kwame and Christine lied under oath.
    Must admit - I'm surprised she quit. Maybe's she's taking one for her - oops, i mean Carlita's - man.

  • J Gats Juice

    LOL @ Ms Kimba!!

  • allhoney915

    Wow. I have not posted to this since last week and I still have people asking me to defend my comments. I see 95 posts and I know some of them are in line with what I have stated. As far as facts are concerned, there are a number dynamics to be considered..ie the number of babies born out of wedlock, the number of self help books attempting to justify why men cheat and those books specifically written to convince women that they should not beat themselves up because they somehow continue to attract men who cheat. Perhaps I am pulling for straws here but I must say I never considered that I would be picked out to justify my statement on something as lighthearted as an entertainment blog. I will make sure I post with my references the next time. Which format should I use APA or MLA?:)

  • Bsoul

    @ Allhoney

    In all honesty, most of the posts were answering Sandra's comment and Blkdiamond's assertation that she and her man have a verbal agreement to swing in the future. Behind those, came comments directly related to the story. I, and another person answered you...that's it.

  • Bsoul

    Some swear up and down that ALL Blacks steal and are lazy. While they may know some who fit the bill, those accusations are unfair and unfouned...just as are those saying that all men cheat.

    Just because you know a lot who do, doesn't mean that all men do.

    I won't go so far as to say what a particular man won't do; some have stronger constitutions than others. Still, I will never consent to bringing someone else into our relationship, no matter how bored I get. Hopefully, if or when I get bored with what's going on in the bedroom, most of our plumming will be clogged anyway. LoL!

  • allhoney915

    BSoul I stand corrected. I do realize that my initial reply was more related to men then the actual post. However, I am pretty bored with this Kwame charecter. Its so typical of celebrities and politicians to be linked to scandal and or affairs with women. It is unfortunate that some would even consider making similar blanket statements as they relate to minorities or a particular group.

  • http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

    ms.kimba412 Says:

    Hey - Christine Beatty resigned this morning! Still no word from the Mayor, though.
    ***********************************************************

    That has me disrespecting his good for nothing behind even mroe. Here she has come out and stepped down and this punk is still hiding. This is getting ridiculous. Does he plan to stay out of site until this blows over?

  • http://mskimba412.blogspot.com ms.kimba412

    Bird Says:

    ms.kimba412 Says:

    Hey - Christine Beatty resigned this morning! Still no word from the Mayor, though.
    ***********************************************************

    That has me disrespecting his good for nothing behind even mroe. Here she has come out and stepped down and this punk is still hiding. This is getting ridiculous. Does he plan to stay out of site until this blows over?

    ***********************************************************
    Bird, I don't think there's any real chance of it blowing over. I think he and his advisers are just strategizing right now. Trying to find a way out that won't make him look so bad.

    The City Council is meeting now to determine if they should act independent of the Prosecutors Office.

    I swear - btw trying to update my blog, keeping up w/the news, and reading other people's comments - I'm not getting any work done! So glad my boss isn't here:-)

  • Bsoul

    Allhoney, you're humble.

    Note to self: "Learn from that aspect of Allhoney and return videos to Blockbuster".
    :^)

  • http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

    ms.kimba412 Says:

    I swear - btw trying to update my blog, keeping up w/the news, and reading other people’s comments - I’m not getting any work done! So glad my boss isn’t here:-)

    ************************************************************

    Chile, I didn't know you had a blog!!! I'll be right over. This blog is not really about the LL Cool Kwame situation anyway.

  • http://mskimba412.blogspot.com ms.kimba412

    @Bird - holla!

  • http://mskimba412.blogspot.com ms.kimba412

    @Bird - did u see the "where's Kwame T-shirt on Ebay?

  • trwilder

    Christine, Kwame and I have known each other for years. This is a case of a first love gone horribly wrong. They played together as kids, dated in high school. Kwame married Carlita because she got pregnant, he was with Christine even then. The families pressured the couple to get married because at the time his mom and aunt were both high profile figures at the time. Christine went on to marry and have kids with her husband, but they never stopped the affair, it has existed through the years. If Carlita divorced Kwame over this he would be married to Christine before the ink was dry on the divorce papers.

  • kenyanhottie

    trwilder, the situation reminds me of the Prince Charles, Princess Diana and Camilla situation. Charles was always in love with Camilla( who he is now married to) but had to marry Diana as she was 1) a virgin, ( The prince has to marry a demure, aristocratic virgin) and 2) Camilla had gotten married while Charles was away.