Most of us hear the word Narcissism and we think of a man (or woman) who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance.
That explanation seems benign because we know someone who fits that description. Narcissists are usually well-dressed, handsome, beautiful, charming, funny, and extremely outgoing.
The problem begins when you fall in love with one.
That's when the sheep's clothing falls off to reveal the wolf who lurks beneath.
To your friends he is still handsome, charming, funny and outgoing. But to you he is a monster.
The reason I write about narcissists so much is because narcissism is a disease in our community. It has claimed so many lives, and yet there is no cure.
Narcissists seek you out if you have money, power and/or respect.
They also seek you out if you are nice, compassionate, sweet and generous, because these are qualities that they will never possess.
Narcissists eventually see these qualities in you as a weakness. Underneath his or her charming exterior, most narcissists are envious, needy, insecure, depressed, self-centered and extremely selfish.
No matter what you do, they will never see you as their equal. The children of narcissists get the worst of it.
The more you try to please narcissists, the more they will abuse you mentally, and sometimes physically.
A loyal reader who asked to remain anonymous wrote in to share her story with my readers. Through this blog she said she was able to recognize the danger signs of narcissism. She packed her things and left her narcissistic partner before it was too late.
Good Morning Sandra,
I have hesitated several times as to whether to write you or not partly because I don't wish to expose my name. But if we may keep this email private; I would just like to thank you. It may seem strange that your site actually helped me escape an extremely abusive relationship but I have to thank god for making you the vessel to opening my eyes.
When I first stumbled upon your site I noticed you threw around the word 'narcissist' I was familiar with the term but not the full in depth meaning. After some research I knew to qualify my former partner who is also the father of my son as a complete narcissist. All your descriptions and symptoms so to speak match his qualities exactly even the narcissistic stare.
I thank you as I have opened my eyes and put a stop to the abuse when I moved out of the apartment we shared on September 23rd. He has, like a typical narcissist been in a rage ever since and has tried to "destroy" me in every way. However, as of October 12th, I decided it best for my son and I that we no longer communicate with the sick man any longer on any basis.
If it wasn't for you and your site; I wouldn't be free and blessed right now. Although I had to give up my car, all my furniture including televisions and other expensive items; I am now happier than ever.
Thank you and god bless:)
The reason I used a pic of Jay Z and Beyonce for this post is because they are both narcissists who feed off each other.
But Jay Z needs Beyonce more for her money, power and respect in order to achieve the power and respect that he now has.
Jay Z will never allow Bey to be greater than him. An example of this is the fact that his book "Decoded" barely mentions Beyonce even though this book is supposed to be about his life.
The reason Beyonce is barely mentioned in the book is because Jay Z (a classic narcissist) knows she would steal all of his thunder, and his small ego just couldn't tolerate that.