Why ‘Two And A Half Men’ Crushed ‘Dancing With The Stars’

Two words: Ashton Kutcher (and sex sells). ‘Two And A Half Men’ destroyed ‘Dancing With The Stars’ because of the show’s new leading man, Ashton Kutcher, who spent most of last night’s season premiere naked.

CBS also won the ratings race becuase ABC pissed off a lot of their viewers by substituting good family entertainment for a freak show.

As you know, Kutcher was hired after CBS fired Charlie Sheen in spectacular fashion after last season (and to think we assumed it was all a publicity stunt to boost ratings).

In last night’s season premiere, which drew a record 27.7 million viewers, we learn that womanizer Charlie married his stalker neighbor, Rose. But just one day after his new wife found out Charlie cheated on her, he met an untimely death when he fell off a train platform and under an oncoming train.

Rose explained what happened to the mourners at his funeral:

“I forgave him because I loved him unconditionally, so you can imagine my horror when the very next day he slipped on the metro platform and fell in front of an oncoming train,” she said.

Rose added: “I just want you to know that Charlie didn’t suffer. His body just exploded like a balloon full of meat.”

Enter Walden Schmidt – a billionaire whose wife dumped him causing him to attempt suicide in the ocean before ending up soaking wet on the deck of Alan Harper’s Malibu beach house.

Within a short period of time Walden, aka Ashton, has stripped out of his wet clothes and is standing completely naked in the living room.

The two men, having bonded over the women who dumped them, decide to go out for drinks where they manage to pick up a couple of women to bring back to the house.

However in true fashion, Alan gets left behind and Walden gets both ladies to himself. Source

Walden (Kutcher) offers to buy Charlie’s mini mansion so Alan and his son could continue to have a very nice roof over their heads.

Even though Kutcher stole his shine, Sheen still wins: CBS offered him a $25 million settlement to just go away quietly.

Images source: DM



 


65 Responses to “Why ‘Two And A Half Men’ Crushed ‘Dancing With The Stars’”

  1. 1
    bigtyme says:

    because that cast of dancing w/ the stars sucks monkey balls.

  2. 2
    Posche says:

    Ashton is not hot.

  3. 3
    Kboogie123 says:

    Exactly… I do not wanna see any washed up “stars” dancing. Any who I may have to start watching this show… might makeme giggle

  4. 4
    Posche says:

    Azz Boner is going to cause ABC’s checks to bounce.

  5. 5
    Yardgirl says:

    I had never watched but I like Ashton and wanted to see what the big to do was all about. I liked it well enough and will watch again :yes:

    Peeped the first hour of DWTS (another show I do not watch) They are using the words “dancing” and “stars” very loosely!! :lipssealed:

  6. 6

    Always thought this was a funny show. Watched last night and have to say, I don’t think Charlie will be missed too much. It was just as funny if not funnier. Ashton Kutcher actually plays a smart, rich version of his character Kelso from That 70’s Show.

  7. 7
    Musiqal1 says:

    I actually enjoyed dancing with the stars last night.I just loved seeing a few people make a fool out of themselves…like Ron Artest…Chaz Bono is another issue. But on the other hand, I never thought 2 1/2 men was that funny. It has its funny moments, but I don’t see the big deal over this show

  8. 8
    mizzdallas says:

    I didn’t watch it. What was shton kocher purpose in walking around naked? Anyways, my Blue Bloods come back on. Who is excited?!….me! :)

  9. 9
    Sandra Rose says:

    I started watching old reruns of ‘Two And A Half Men’ after Charlie was let go. I think the show was hilarious! I laugh out loud every time I watch a rerun of the show. I didn’t laugh that hard last night. But I will keep watching. :)

  10. 10
    SAUCEY82 says:

    I think the show was pretty good, they did all this fussing over who will replace the “CRACK HEAD”. Really I bet olks are happy they didnt need to hide their wallets….. Hello all :hi:

  11. 11
    bigtyme says:

    two and a half men is actually. i was late to watch it…same thing w/ modern family

  12. 12
    Yardgirl says:

    @Mizdallas: I love Bluebloods too!!

    @Miss Sandra: I am going to get Season 1 of Two & Half Men and catch up. I know at least one of my YT co-workers must have it on DVD :D

  13. 13
    bigtyme says:

    actually funny…typing to fast…sorry!

  14. 14
    West Coast Chick says:

    Sandra Rose says:

    I started watching old reruns of ‘Two And A Half Men’ after Charlie was let go. I think the show was hilarious!
    ____________________________________________

    :cosign:

    I started watching afterthe whole Charlie Togerblood, winning fiasco.. and I too thought it was funny

  15. 15
    LuvMySailor says:

    When Dharma and Greg made an apperance, I howled laughing. Last night’s episode was great.

  16. 16

    I loved the show when Charlie was on it Im not a Ashton fan and really seeing him naked made me dislike him more…

  17. 17
    brenden says:

    Oh so wanst nobody gone tell me there was a new post up? Mean while I’m still in the BBW post trynna get sum booty from @Point….Yall dirty :mad:

  18. 18
    YSoSerious says:

    I won’t be watching this. :no:

  19. 19
    candibfly says:

    oh ok.

    i don’t watch either show. but i’ve heard two and a half men was funny.

    i think DWTS problem is that every season they pick ‘stars’ that are lower and lower on the list

  20. 20

    i NEVA saw the appeal of DWTS..neva :coffee:

    2 1/2..can’t comment on, only watched like 1/4 episode..i did laugh tho :shrug:

    Heyyy WCC & Yardie!!!! :waves: <—Chaz jock strap

  21. 21
    Anna says:

    LuvMySailor says:

    When Dharma and Greg made an apperance, I howled laughing. Last night’s episode was great.

    ~~~~~~~
    That was cute, also John Stamos and the 3some that ended up a 2some. This show could have survived w/out Charlie or Ashton. Not sure why ppl can’t watch both, I keep the clicker in my hand. For those who missed it (DWTS) comes on Monday & Tue every week. Tue is for the recap/rerun/elimination.

  22. 22

    candi :yahoo:
    Choco..i always knew i wasn’t a ppl person, just not to THIS extent :mad:
    YSo!!! *braids ur locs into a remote*
    Brendennnnnnn :love:

  23. 23
    candibfly says:

    fayla :wave: <—– doug's manhood

  24. 24
    Yardgirl says:

    Hey Fayla girlie!!!!! :waves:

  25. 25
    lovezoe says:

    No, the reason it did better because we are nosy by nature. We wanted to see what Demi Moore’s bag handler was going to do.

    I hate to admit it, but Charlie Sheen is #WINNING He gone get 100 MILLY and not do another episode of that show. That’s winning in my book. The show will die down soon, Ashton can’t make funny week after week.

  26. 26

    :rofl: candi did u get clearance from wifey 1st???

    #concerned

  27. 27

    :party: wishing my son a HBD, he turned 7 today :D

  28. 28
    Yardgirl says:

    brenden says:

    Oh so wanst nobody gone tell me there was a new post up? Mean while I’m still in the BBW post trynna get sum booty from @Point….Yall dirty

    *************************
    Awwww Brenden, pronounced stud-muffin, we did not want to interrupt you macking, you know, no c@ck blocking n chit. Sowwie!

  29. 29
    Yardgirl says:

    Awwwwwww 7 is such a good age!! Happy Birthday Lil man of Fayla’s :happybirthday: :partyhat:

  30. 30
    witeboi52 says:

    #WinningDUH

    :peace:

  31. 31
    Creamychic says:

    brenden says:

    Oh so wanst nobody gone tell me there was a new post up? Mean while I’m still in the BBW post trynna get sum booty from @Point….Yall dirty

    ________________________________________________________________

    :rofl: what is a girl to do with you

  32. 32
    Yall still crazy says:

    :happybirthday: Fayla’s Baby!!!!!! :cheer:

  33. 33
    YSoSerious says:

    FAY!! :hugs:

    Please use my loc remote to change the channel. I don’t watch either of these shows. :no:

  34. 34
    Creamychic says:

    Happy Birthday lil man :yahoo: seven is a wonderful age, it’s the age of comprehending, and evauate everything around them, and who they gonna be when they grow up, :happybirthday: hey Fayla

  35. 35

    Thanks Yardie!!! I :heart: that boulda head joka :lol:

    #mymaleminime

  36. 36
    brenden says:

    Awwwwwe HAPPY BDAY to LiL FAYFAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember my 7th BDAY like it was yesterday…My Mama took me to Chuck E Cheese! It was great until,,,,Well until she left me in the ball pit and never came back.smh Southern Californias first ever case of child abandonment at good ol Chuck. The news papers called it “the rat drop”…Hey at least we made history :shrugs:

  37. 37

    :oops: awww shux YALL :hug: Creamy :danban: thx 4 the b-day luv for my yungin..

    Uhh YSo..memba dat time u had posted a website of sum chit couldn’t nobody identify?? (male or female) what da name ill?

  38. 38
    Honycoatd says:

    @ Creamy

    So that is why I am a porn addict now at my age because I was watching porn and looking at playboy since the age of 7/8?

  39. 39

    Yall shole will leave a nigga hanging in an old post. dayum. :shrugs:

  40. 40
    Honycoatd says:

    :dead: @ brenden

    Po baby :hug:

    HAPPY Birthday Mrs. Fay Fay lava :hug: :kiss:

  41. 41
    Honycoatd says:

    If it wasn’t for Brenden scent I wwouldn’t have known they were here!

  42. 42
    Honycoatd says:

    Oh chit @ Fay Fay

    That is why you should scroll a bit; its not ur birthday heffa its ur baby

    Happy birthday to him :kiss:

  43. 43

    :think:

    I wonder how much :snort: $25 million can get for Sheen?

  44. 44
    Creamychic says:

    Honycoatd says:

    @ Creamy

    So that is why I am a porn addict now at my age because I was watching porn and looking at playboy since the age of 7/8?
    ______________________________________________________________

    Ima tell ya momma on you :hahaha: girl u a mess but 7-8

  45. 45
    CFREE says:

    Love TWO AND A HALF MEN! Mad I missed it last night! :mad:

  46. 46
    CFREE says:

    Man, I just don’t care™ says:

    Yall shole will leave a nigga hanging in an old post. dayum.
    ________________________________________________________________________

    :cosign: :cry:

  47. 47
    Honycoatd says:

    @ Creamy

    I am serious. I saw my brothers having sex sneaking and watching them at like 9. When my dad use to have his “chick” over me and my lil brother use to try to listen at the door.

  48. 48
    CFREE says:

    @FAY tell em his step mommy said HBD! :partyhat:

  49. 49
    CFREE says:

    HONY, i was watching p0rn around 8 y/o too which lead to me touching myself at a very young age and i havent been able to stop til this day
    :ashamed:

  50. 50

    @SANDRA ROSE
    “As you know, Kutcher was hired after CBS fired Charlie Sheen in spectacular fashion after last season (and to think we assumed it was all a publicity stunt to boost ratings).”

    “Rose added: “I just want you to know that Charlie didn’t suffer. His body just exploded like a balloon full of meat.”
    _____________________________________________________________________________

    :think:

    So following the script, without a “body” I suspect when ratings start to falter for the show, Charlie Sheen will have miraculously survived this fall in front of a train…

  51. 51
    brenden says:

    Honycoatd says:

    If it wasn’t for Brenden scent I wwouldn’t have known they were here!

    :rofl: dang girl is it that bad? They say its strong enough for a man, but obviously I should stop using my mamas roll-on.smh…But um…So you been looking at porn since 7/8??? Wowsers….I was 16 when I had my first sexual feelings. Had just took a huge dump and was…Well, you know, I was wiping my arse…Anyhoo my fanga slipped thru the toilet tissue and um :whistle: I became addicted to said feeling. Within 2 weeks I had spraigned damn near every finger on my left hand…Then I started using my foot. But thats a story for another day :) *whispers* I’m very flexible.

  52. 52
    brenden says:

    LOL @CFREE…Apparently noses like Melba More aint the only thing we have in common :whistle:

  53. 53
    CFREE says:

    :hurl: gotdarnit! Brenden :no:

  54. 54
    CFREE says:

    :hahaha:

    Brenden, ION thank we having the same “said” feelings :no:

  55. 55

    @HONY

    I remember being freaky in 3rd grade. Yup, THIRD GRADE. I use to try and think of ways to get my teacher to take me to the bathroom and get her to have to pull out my dyck. She was young pretty thang.

    Almost worked got her to do it too…

    Oh yeah, started showing the dyck to all the girls at that age too.
    :coffee:

  56. 56
    Honycoatd says:

    @ Brenden your a fuggin trip.

    Off Topic: Why do I know a chick that loves to tell me she is saving herself for marriage but she does anal and chit :thinking: I am trying to figure that one tho

    @ ****tfree

    I am glad to know I am not alone , I thought at times I was “different” but chit you made me feel better :hug:

  57. 57
    CFREE says:

    :bye: folks! its quittn time :)

  58. 58

    @HONY
    “Why do I know a chick that loves to tell me she is saving herself for marriage but she does anal and chit I am trying to figure that one tho”
    ____________________________________________________________________________

    I know a few like that. They also :blow: and :lick:

    I guess it works in their book tho :shrugs:

  59. 59
    CFREE says:

    :lol: HONY u r not alone! :hug:

  60. 60
    Honycoatd says:

    @ Man

    My brother use to have the little girls in our neighborhood smelling his dyck at like 10 yrs old. He had this one girl named stacey take her panty off but he couldn’t get it hard now my understanding of it now that I am older. He tried to put it soft in her and funny thing is 7 yrs later ; they did it and she got pregnant.

  61. 61
    Honycoatd says:

    @ Cfree

    get home safely :hug:

  62. 62
    Honycoatd says:

    @ Man

    I have another platinum digging sister and her requirements would kill you before she gives you even the panty to sniff.

  63. 63
    West Coast Chick says:

    Fayla aka JuicyFruit says:

    i NEVA saw the appeal of DWTS..neva

    2 1/2..can’t comment on, only watched like 1/4 episode..i did laugh tho

    Heyyy WCC & Yardie!!!! :waves: <—Chaz jock strap
    _________________________

    :hahaha:

    Heeeyy Fayla

  64. 64

    CFreezie my WEEZIEEEE! :kiss: i done passed along ur msg to ur step-son & hims said sumthin bout whea his CS payments been. tambout he keep checkin his pay-pal :rollseyes: these kids today! #missU

    Thanks Ms. Hony :lol:

    Brenden.. :dead: thx tho lova ;)

  65. 65
    pinksghetti says:

    I’ve only seen a few episodes before this but watched the season premiere out of nosiness. It wasn’t bad.

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