American Idol‘s TV ratings has sunk to less than half of what it was in its heyday during the 1990s. Naturally, FOX is desperate for something (other than screeching singers) to draw viewers back. So the show’s producers hire loud mouthed celebrities to replace the vocally-challenged singers as the program’s biggest draw.

Enter Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey to save the day for FOX: Let the publicity stunts begin.

The two new AI judges were conveniently filmed hurling obscenities at each other during auditions in Charlotte, NC, which was coincidentally captured by TMZ‘s cameras.

The reason singing competitions like American Idol and X-Factor suck in the ratings is because the shows offer the public nothing new beyond screeching singers and the public voting formats, which are reportedly fixed anyway.

Hiring name brand singers to argue (and maybe even snatch each other’s wigs) takes a page from the fake “friends” who toss water at each other on urban reality shows.

Unfortunately, the ratings for urban reality shows are tanking, too.

Here’s the transcript the ladies were reading from:

MARIAH: “BITCH!”
NICKI: I’m gonna knock you out!
NICKI: Get this shit in self-control. Get in control. Get in control.
RANDY: Settle down, settle down.
NICKI: Don’t lose your head. Don’t lose your head. [Blah, blah, blah] Don’t tell me I’m a gangster.
NICKI: [Blah, blah, blah] Every time you patronize me, I’m-a take it back, and if you’ve got a f***ing problem, handle it.
NICKI: I told them I’m not f*cking putting up with her f*cking highness over there. Figure it the f*ck out. Figure it out.
NICKI: I’m not gonna sit here every f*cking minute to have you come down and harass me every minute, every day.

I’ve never watched a full episode of American Idol or X-Factor, and the premise of Mariah snatching Nicki’s wig is still not enough for me to waste my time watching these shows.

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