Open Post: Fantasia Explains Why Some Women Can’t Keep a Man

I see she still stupid.

I am HERE for the comments https://media1.giphy.com/media/IPsfIZxtsycSFRVvD4/giphy-downsized-medium.gif

Sandra! You forgot to add her zodiac sign!

lool

It’s important to allow the RIGHT man to LEAD. I’m not following a fool, a liar, a cheat, a manipulative, self serving man, etc. We have to be on one accord and I have to trust that it’s wise and beneficial to follow your lead. I think that’s the part she left out, that you can’t allow just any man to lead.

I agree!! I just told a female associate of mine that even as mother we sometimes don’t know how to stop parenting and some women will treat their man like a child by delegating and talking to him like he is one of the children. I also spoke about how women can emasculate men too. So I agree all the way with this!

Exactly…..those were my thoughts yesterday when this was discussed on The Real.

Here for the fukkery til my next meeting
https://media2.giphy.com/media/fGX80AAczeBEOOwEoK/giphy-downsized-medium.gif

There is a very important part of that excerpt that is missing.—?????

Many women would willingly give over control to a significant other whom they deeply trust, unfortunately, there is deep healing needed within our communities to even foster an environment where we feel safe enough to let down our guard and let someone lead.?????

I know some people will have an issue with what she said but in my opinion, she is 100% right. Good teaching Fantasia.

Welllll she said nothing wrong. Fantasia if you’re reading my comment, save your breath baby girl. The only time some women want a husband is when it’s someone else’s husband, they’ve hit the wall, or everyone around them is getting married.

She must be an August Leo ??

Can somebody give me an example of letting a man lead? I’m genuinely curious not tryna be smart at all

I am not sure why you are so against a woman learning at any age how to better communicate & allow some vulnerability while building a strong bond with a man. You sound like you are bitter. You should never turn your back on a whole category of people based on age, gender, sexuality, race, or any other bias. People are individuals.

Its really REALLY good. I caught her when she came with Tyrese and nem and another time too. Have fun! I wanted to go but the date is on a work night this time.

Actually she’s the best person to learn from since she made many mistakes and learned from them. She’s tryna help other women before they end up down the same road she WAS on.

HUH?! I am so lost at your comment? why the hate?

It’s closed now? Dang! Yea that married man she got pregnant by and his wife sued her ?????

I luvs Fanny God knows I do, but I ain’t letting her tell me nothing about relationships or phonics.

She is a Cancer I thought.

Chile… lol https://media2.giphy.com/media/5p2wQFyu8GsFO/giphy.gif

Im all for a great man leading if he has good intentions with us as a couple but a single woman cant go around being led by every clown azz niccas who approaches them with 2 cents in his pocket… I know alot of brothas who swear they are leaders or alphas until it comes to paying a bill or when something detrimental happens…Mothers have babied their sons to the point that they are now 35+ screaming for respect but cant even keep their dyck in their pants…they expect their women to act like Michelle Obama when their out in the streets acting like Flavor Flav…Great men who have a fair balance of faith, family and respect are hard to come by…

I sure...I mean that Rose sure the hell IS messy

Let her past stay in the past they way you would like your past mistakes to be thrown in the sea of forgetfulness. People make mistakes people are NOT their mistakes.

How old do you date again? I’ve been thinking about taking my azz down here to this old man bar with the rich cars and get scooped by one of those old azz men. I want to try dating an older more established man, but I’ve honestly never seen one that didn’t have that “you going to get worms” look.

?
But enough trust is given to share your body and have babies?
Does the guard come down just enough to accomplish that first?

???? that gif!!!

???????? You betta PREACH PREACHER!! Holler Lou Aaaaaaaa

Come on…. Every man is not worth keeping and some women think they are men themselves ????? They really believing that fade gives them man super powers… lol
Some women are not relationship material. It really depends.

Or some women purposely look for a younger dude they think they can “mold” into what they want him to be.
…Which is something that almost never works, by the way.

If it’s the right man. He has to have a purpose and dedication. I get it, my mom is like this. She listens to my dad and follows his lead on most things. But hey, my mom NEVER had to work outside of the home. My dad paid for the family home, worked hard, took care of his family and attended church every Sunday. If they make ’em like this again, more women would be willing. But he can’t be out here leading by his arse thinking a sane woman will listen to him.

I didn’t like the last album either. Interestingly enough, during the interview she said the last album was garbage. It was the last CD under that label and she said she could tell she wasn’t into it and neither was the label.

Fantasia, Ciara, Meagan, and the rest of ya’ll married women giving advice to single women; STOP IT. Stop assuming all single women want to be married. Stop assuming your luck of the draw gives you privy to give advice to the masses. You know what? This shiggidy is taking too much of my time. TTYL.

Early 60’s?!?! I cannot…

I don’t know… I currently have no children, so I haven’t given anyone that much control… other than the God Lord leading my life and being my adviser – I don’t trust these ninjas they out for self!

Stop pretending like a good proportion of women not walking around thinking they are a man??
The men think and behave like they are the women. Can’t leave them out…?

Truuuuu I tried telling an associate of mine girl work on you!! You want a man with all these qualities it you have to do your work too in order to attract that! She wanted a mentally stable and emotionally stable man but she lacks that stability herself she has issues that need to be delt with. She wanted a financially stable man that will allow her to stay home I said first you have to become financially stable credit jacked up and you behind on bills you want a man to catch all that up THEN let you stay home get in a better place

wow…….

How you know its the right man after THREE WEEKS?

If single women don’t want to be married why are they having babies and seeking relationships with men ? that doesn’t make sense. So are you saying that most women prefer to be single mothers and get used for sex by men who don’t really like them?

youre right. But wrong. The best advice I got came from an 80 year old woman, who has been married for 50 something years. I dont know about all that cooking, cleaning and let him lead crap. The men I know wont let you lead. They will keep passing you up, no matter what you do. Cause no matter what I do, my husband will ensure I can’t beat him. I opened 1 business, he opened up 5. I finished school and got a BA, he got his Masters. I went to 1 football game 10th grade, he start playing and got drafted. I start going to church, he start going more, he probably gone become a Pastor if he see me save one soul. I baught a 6series, he baught a 7series. If I go to a party, he throws a party. I dont have to stop what Im doing to help his ego, I do me and he exceeds me. And ive probably cooked 10 meals, in my life time, and im sure they did not taste good, cause even the dog was hesitant.

I bet everything she said came straight from her husband’s mouth.

Clearly! Sis, it’s too early for this! LOL

LOL!

…and let me add something….. Fantasia has nerves of steel to be out here talking. The past is the past, but girl, you were the main one tattooing a married man’s name on your chest, the main one taken to a court by a wife pissed you were screwing her husband, and you had a child with said married man. But alas, the past is the past.

When did she get married??

We will not mention weight. It’s one thing to gain a few after marriage but women tryna walk through the gate 70 to 100 pounds overweight talking about there are no good men. I be like yea ok ?

https://media3.giphy.com/media/XDXGgx4zfjyJoFbEUy/giphy.gif

Got married in 2015 according to google man time flies

Exactly. She’s a penis pandering idiot.

There’s level to peddling cell phones and electronics ?

Sound like you’ve been bamboozled but I’m sure there were red flags you ignored. Aloooooot of women ignore the red flags then play victim. Nawwwwww sis you knew. There are plenty of good men out in the world, u may want to ask why aren’t u attracting a good man.

Dam the comments went left real fast and guess what https://media2.giphy.com/media/XQq8UMo254P16/giphy.gif

But it’s only recently she learned how I keep a man though….

Oh, dear. No precious. I am certainly not saying that. For focused, mentally, & emotionally mature (not old) women whose self-esteem is routinely demonstrated by their actions, what you are suggesting would be a non-issue. Marriage is not the end all for everyone. In fact, the type of woman I described calls her shots in terms of what kind of relationship she wants to have. It may be marriage, it may be partnering. Who is to say?

If u made hardly no mistakes like myself and did most things right then you’re told oh u can’t give advice because u never been through this or that. Some women just can’t admit their shortcomings, change, and move on.

Nah no red flags over here I am the red flag LOL….but I do have a past and do attend relationship forums alot with my girls who are successful and cant “find a man” in Philly… Good brothas need to move to Philly because there are alot of educated women who want something meaningful…I have a walking “keep away” sign on my forehead for all of that malarkey cause Im spoken for…

Not peddling.

Those women seen the red flags with those men and if I’m not mistaken Lela took her husband from another woman. My friend is Wendy Williams cousin and he said she was with him because that’s all that wanted to marry Wendy her move was out of desperation. Wendy always dated no good men who was beating on her.

People in their 30s and 40s are still considerd young now-a-days and are still learning life. Your mentality is not healthy thinking.

People still try though. But as I see it, if he’s 25, irresponsible, with bad credit, no career direction etc… there’s a good chance that one day he’s going to be 35 and still irresponsible, with bad credit, no career direction etc. There’s a good chance you’ll spend/waste years of your life trying to mold him into your “dream husband”, before you realize you’ve been wasting your time. I’ve seen it happen.

Everyone’s relationship is different so I found that following someone else’s advice can serve no purpose but we all have a lane..find out what it is and stick to it..It will never work if you have two captains on one ship also compatibility and communication is crucial…js…

It’s called growth.

https://media2.giphy.com/media/xT9DPQd5FpFWfHpIu4/giphy.gif

??
But it’s soooo hard being patient and obedient to what God has in store for us

Chile The sane female I referenced also puts the penis size at top priority I said so what if he got all the right qualities treat you right and everything but his penis is average or a little smaller than average size she said issa no from her ????? I was like guuuuuuuurrrll that’s why you keep ending up with big sweet dyck Willie who treat you bad you may not find it all in one package

This dude as far I have seen never speaks about male accountability/responsibility or lack there of.
ITA though if more males were men in the biblical sense, then we would not have half the issues in the community that we do.

https://media1.giphy.com/media/cbG9wtoO8QScw/giphy.gif

I see divorce upon the horizon…… Girl please just shut it… You can’t keep no damn man neither.. Watch this space she will promoting open marriage soon

And on a blog that has a mostly female audience, and with lots of them being 40 +… go figure.

IKR?

Speaking the absolute truth here. I was guilty of wanting a man that I could control but it’s never enough. It falls apart unless you’re willing to put up with the worse of the worse things for rest of your life. You’re speaking straight facts I was to stubborn to understand when I was younger.

She hasn’t been married 5 years straight. They broke up and got back together. Part of growth is knowing that you make mistakes and maybe, just maybe you aren’t the one to talk about a topic. If a mother of 5 that spent all of her time in the streets and let her mama raise her kids decides after endless flings, drunken nights out, missed birthday parties, never went to a PTA meeting decided to ‘grow’ after her kids were grown or almost grown, I would pass on her advice as a mother. She may have grown up, learned from her mistakes, but she can’t tell me “HOW” to be a mother because she don’t know. She could tell me “HOW” to recover from broken relationships with her kids after someone else raised them though. This topic ain’t for Fantasia.

At least it ain’t Boost

I would think twice before taking advice from someone with her track record. Teenager mother, two baby daddies with one being a married man, at least one abortion. Failed relationship after failed relationship , sued by a wife for man-stealing and all this before 30. ? Ok Tasia, we know “lose to win again”. ?

My comment has nothing to do about her music. Love your music Tasia.

I agree. I tell myself that if a person has grown, then we should allow them to grow and speak from the place they are at now, instead of holding their past against them.

Sometimes you just know or you know enough to take a chance. I always tell folks you can be with someone 3 months or 3 years, but at the end of the day you are still taking a CHANCE or a GAMBLE because you never really know anyone & people can change with time. I actually asked my man for his number the first night I met him..which was something I had NEVER done, but it was like love at first sight for me. Now over 6 years later we are still together.

https://media2.giphy.com/media/8rEkirBIUdWYjltJIx/giphy.gif

I thought he was from T-Mobile. I need to get my FACTS straight ?

I agree.

Girl please be quiet. All of us women can’t afford to have a kept man. What do you propose women do until they have a man to come in their life to lead them? Are we supposed to be stagnant?

OT- BEST .GIF OF ALL TIME; BAR NONE!

These people are going up in here huh?
Next time do a interactive post with a Poll.

Boy, I just don’t get it
(You ain’t supposed to act like a little boy)
Just cause I’m independent
(No)
You walk around with your chest out
Like you the one
But if I don’t do it
Then it wont get done
I’m a good woman
But I’m not dumb
You goin’ be the man or my son
And I’m sick and tired of
Being the boss for us
(Being the boss for us)
No this ain’t the kind of love
Its supposed to be
You want to be
King of the castle
(Oh, you want to be)
You want to be captain
You gone have to work
A little bit harder for that to happen. (Fantasia man of the house 2010)

I made it about 10 comments down before I saw what u meant.

Tasia you my girl but you may want to sit this one out.

Sweet Dyck Willie ??? Im over here swooning and cakling like a damn witch…Honestly tho I prefer an average or above too…If you were single would you be willing to deal with a great man with a micro penis???

oops.

Bad relationships never stopped steve harvey from being a 3 time serial marrier n relationship expert n author.

I approve of this message.

Exactly. I been saying this for years. I remember when he released his book years ago, my coworkers raced to Barnes and Nobles to get it. These were white women too. I’m like what the hell. They thought he was going to be releasing some secrets. ???

??? you sure can

Que’s Sponge ? bob imma head out meme

I was gonna say that but I aint wanna get stoned to death on here ?…how she want a man to lead when Kendall dont bring nothing in the household but chapstick…Chile… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/53047fc20a01774ffdc19bd6ca6143bc934015bb9403262e8a22771b04952712.gif

LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And in addition to compatibility, suitability.

Go on Felicia.

Girl go and read a book with Mayweather

She didn’t lie. The keyword here though is king.

A king needs his queen.

Some of ya’ll be tryna give it all to a man with dirty dack, dirty draws, 8 baby mamas, and no job, who’s tryna flip your EBT card into 15 cents from his mama’s mattress on the floor.

Submission is a gift. That gift should only be given to a man deserving of it. There’s a reason why there’s a head and feet. Some of these ‘kings’ are whole in-grown toenails. No ma’am. If he’s calling himself the head, he needs to be logical, intelligent, considerate of the rest of his body (i.e. YOU) and a true leader. Otherwise it’s just the blind needing the blind.

They are not accepting ish but still gapping their legs and having out of wedlock children with no fathers, which in turn continues the cycle of our children growing up fatherless and emotionally unstable, with a lack of self worth.

Dating older means something different depending on the age bracket. A 30 year old dating a 50 year old might be okay because 50 is still considered young these days, but when you’re 50 and dating someone who is 70, that’s a WHOLE different ballgame.

I swear I came to laugh at these comments. Without reading them yet I already know that y’all went in on her. She is the breadwinner of her household.

I actually agree with fantasia..before i read i jus knew she was gonna come with some bull but this, I agree!

U mean hand palmed by her short cut** fixed it for you

One reason alot of woman are single is because they call their man “Bruh” and “dude”.. that is my pet peeve to hear a woman address her man as such

I finally found mine…It feels really good to have a man worthy of leading a man I can trust to lead I man where I feel 100% completely safe with. My first requirement/statement up front was I’m an traditional girl with traditional values…I’ll be your helpmate every step of the way but I’mma need you to take the helm and we’ll figure it out together. I didn’t settle, I waited. I didn’t stay in toxic relationships, I left and I waited. I waited, prayed and did the healing work, got my life together. A 10 year marriage, 8 year engagement, 3 year live in boyfriend…and countless frogs and fvk boys later…I wasn’t desperate, thirsty or needy..(I did get horny and lonely at times) I started practicing celibacy a few years ago just to get my mind right and He literally showed up. I have friends who have settled and are unhappy, I have friends who fvk on the first night and are unhappy, I have friends in toxic relationships and unhappy…I honestly believe if you do the work and be patient you’ll find the right one.

Yup, yup & yup.

And that’s what life is all about. LEARNING from your mistakes. We are NOT are mistakes. That’s what they’re suppose to do…Teach you what to do better the next time.

1st question. Does he work?

https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0e91af0d8844add3e38fbab1fc69602d4a1c1a01aca5073b18cdeb678abe7e2e.gif

https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d509afa68e084cd48382c933595c3421538030db450fdcaa4365eb5bfd8bf83b.gif

I’m just here for the comments… https://media1.giphy.com/media/9r2V0ugkY1ER49OW1n/giphy.gif

Thats what i wanted to kno! Im sorry u cant lead if u not bringing in the money ?????

& the way this generation set up chillllleeee u nvr kno what u gettin into till its late

https://media3.giphy.com/media/WMfho5VxnIaOc/giphy.gif

First of all, Fanny can’t keep a man either. She’s had her fair share of dudes. Anyway, She is right, there’s nothing wrong with submitting to a man and following his lead. Where some women go wrong is that they’ll submit to bums and allow losers to lead them. I knew my fiancé was the one on numerous occasions, but in one particular – I tried to weasel my way into getting my way and he wasn’t having it! I pouted and he just looked at me and laugh and said “you’ll have your way when I allow you to.” ?? I just knew I was gonna marry him that night lmao

Exactly ! Does her husband even make more money than her ? I’m sick of black women marrying DOWN.

Marriages are nothing more than an archaic business arrangement, a social construct developed out of necessity. Over the years there’s been enough data collected to determine the pros and cons to raising a family in a 2-parent household, verses the rampant single mother households ?, but I digress…
I don’t agree with Fanny’s analysis because I don’t view marriage through an emotional lens. I don’t think I should have to tell a man something that he should already know. And likewise, I don’t feel like a man should tell me something that I should already know or be performing. If we both decide to get married then our roles should be outline in a contract. If you or I have expectations of the other’s performance, then to me, that’s a contractual agreement lol. I’m not about to introduce emotion into it. You can love someone today and hate their guts tomorrow. Love is too fickle of an emotion to tie it to something like finances or child rearing. I think this is why black ppl struggle the most. They think they have to be in love and give complete submission, when the reality is, you should both be in agreement to each other’s expectations and honor them. Fail to do so and I’ll take half your earnings lol ?????.

Imma slide right on past this one. ????

She could have articulated herself a little better, but man being the head is the natural order. Although society is trying to change that.

????????

Overdosing on them baby asprins gave her an epiphany, ya say?

How can anyone keep a man when they got bishes like Fanny stealing them. You can’t keep what isn’t yours.

Some of us dont want a man no matter how good he is or supposed to be. I know its sounds crazy to a group of women who define themselves by how long they stay with a cheater but here it is. Some of these men dont want to be kept either. Get over it

And some people who have tragic pasts need to be humble and not start giving advice as if they discovered the origins of life or something.

Lol but it’s true (to me) ?????.
I’m not about to get emotional and beg for crumbs in a divorce lol. If we’re getting married then papers are getting drawn up. Here are my expectations, here are your expectations. Failure to adhere to x, y, & z means you forfeit 30% of your earnings and x amount in damages ?. Ain’t noooobody got time for the crying and court dates. Marriage involves the merging of assets and finances. A contract detailing every scenario, as well as the consequences, need to be put in place. This is one of the many avenues that men have an advantage over. Women are mostly raised with the Cinderella complex so men don’t have to work as hard to get them down the aisle. Now with women like Fanny, who is most likely the breadwinner, this a dangerous and complex position to be in. Your finances determine your role in any marriage. How can any woman be ok with a man that makes less than her, leading her? I hope she got a tight prenup cause when they divorce he gonna take her for everything she’s got. She better talk that love nonsense with Sherry S, Wendy Williams, and MJB. Them nuccas loved their breadwinners too and you see that ain’t stop them from asking to be kept house-husbands while they f*cking someone 20-30 years their junior. If you get a marriage contract and don’t allow emotion to guide you then you’ll be A-OK when that nucca decides he’s ready to trade you in. ?????

He works for her.

President
Rock Soul Entertainment
2016 – Present-3 years

Entertainment Company/ Record Label

me to

Well then she needs to be like sometimes you luck up. Not all this damn “advice”. If its luck did you really put in the work? If you get married after 3 weeks did you really “wait for the right one”? No. You did not.

Lol!

To me she didnt learn shit. She started a biz and put him as President….just like she did the married baby daddy. To repeat the same behavior and expect different results is insanity in my opinion, but we can call it growth if you wish.

I like this post and it makes clear sense.

?

Get out!?

She doesn’t even know how to spell ARTICULATE!

Not true

Black women have lead us into thousands of blacks shot a year in chi town

With all due respect, the only way men are in this world is by women so if a man is weak it is because of a woman, his mother and first teacher, whether there’s a father in the house or not. The teaching of a child starts before conception & in the womb….a woman can energetically form the traits and attributes of her son before conception and while he is in the womb! Women need to wake up and take responsibility for creating weak no good men!!

As of today, it’s not in the American black man’s dna to stand up and take the lead. I notice a lot of the leaders protesting and organizers these days are women too. Nah, the Black American man has left the room.

Patience and Communication= Growth. If two as a couple canNOT grow there will be no respect. Each one, teach one. A man who truly respect his mother ( I know it sound cliche) to the depths of my knowledge will give respect. You can have common knowledge but if he leads it will be for the unity of a family. Not being selfish, shallow and with a unkempt existence. No baggage as we say but you will have to become being friends first. You all will learn from mistakes as a couple; that’s what usually break people apart cause they are trying to keep up with the others. A black man can lead with spiritual guidance and give you everything you miss at home. If he’s easily distracted you can tell that with red flags from the beginning cause his past will creep up. Sharing family history can go far. Keeping secrets can go low; as if he had to overcome some issues it will effect the children. Masking each other faults just to have a man will effect your ego personally. Keep communication on a friendship level as if you are bonding still, not dating. Building together is the greatest aspect in a relationship that the children will admire. Stay off media, cause people will come to conclusions when there isn’t any to begin with. It is a work in progress as in opposites attract. When one won’t do the other will from bonding. What Fanny is saying is make a man feel like a man.

Probly bc blk men wasn’t around and left the blk women to take care of the kids by herself and fend for herself…

SMH. So true….

I agree with Fantasia, but as someone said here, you can’t submit to bums, cheaters, a man who sits at home babysit the kids while his WIFE WORKS, not as a girlfriend or baby mama!

Not being married takes two very mutually respectful individuals who can be committed w/o a license, and will do the right thing, when things go south! Or, everything is in legal writing in case of death, like Lauren London exp. being a gf [for years] vs a wife on a national stage!

There are two distinct roles, but individuals should have their own identity too, and both have INTEGRITY! This is why many couples are getting PRE-MARRIAGE COUNSELING!

Some women use their earning power to lure a man in, and thinks if she pays for everything, he will be dependent, and not leave, but instead, he cheats, and without the benefit of marriage!

A man has to also be a provider/work (to his best ability), provide financially, emotionally and mental support, and the team [couple] establish deal-breakers! Then by all means allow the man to lead or leave if your husband or partner isn’t in the leading role or your wife RESPECTFUL!

Men STOP marrying women who you know are NOT in love with you! A lot of good guys tend to gravitate to bum-azz women, the kind who cheats, makes him do the laundry and cook, while he works and provides because she just wanted the marital status, and her fuc boi, mama’s boy, or bad boy would never!

All the dayum time!!! ???

Very good analysis, brother. Well said.

Fantasia has been married for 5 years to a man she had known for a few weeks. Let us wait and see how long her own union lasts before we start taking her advice.
This is the same woman who had a baby with another woman’s husband. Yes, that was a long time ago and she may be a changed woman, but let’s just wait and see. Once she has maintained her marriage for over 10 years, then I might take her seriously.

Right….lmbo

Lawd! Lol!

I don’t know lol about the respect the moms part ? lolol cause I know too too many mama boys who treat women like disposable toys.

I think he is also her personal trainer ?

Find your self-esteem cause if you don’t a black man will give you one. I don’t mean be conceited or egotistical. If your man friend is confident; he’ll surely can tell you are too. That’s bonding, and it will go far. A confident black man know his purpose. He know that he is loved and don’t need to be babied. When a black man don’t need you financially cause he knows your independence could not make him cause you won’t allow it. You have to have the “he can’t make me or break me” status for the first 3 years. He will notice that and will focus on how to lead further for you as a Queen…which should come naturally. If not, he is not a soul mate. He is a loser, a frog, a d@mn bum. He may come at your spiritually if you’re intact with your self-esteem and not financially but have admiration of your future and want to uplift you. He can spiritually guide you as if he was given a journey that manifest itself. Then an awaken could be in a midst where you all are going to be tested; then all hell break loose like frfr. If you don’t have key components with having yourself together meaning knowingly know that God loves you first ( your true protector)and he can’t respect that there is nothing left cause he doesn’t know it’s karma. What I’m saying is some people come together as for a reason an not for selfish ones.

Competing with their men –
I agree with this part. I’ve had so many conversations with girlfriends and relatives that actually believe that men want a woman “on their level”. Trading wits and intellect, creating business ventures etc….which sounds good in theory, but the reality is a lot of guys view that sort of energy as “competition”. They don’t view it from the same positioning as women. When you work so hard to achieve a career in a stressful, competitive field, the last thing you want to do is feel like you’re still on the battlefield when you go home. Whereas women view it like it’s a healthy exchange of ideas and investments. It’s crazy how two ppl can view the same situation from drastic spectrum ends.

The best partner for me in marriage would be one who doesn’t speak lol. Seriously lol my life and career is so fast-paced and chaotic that when I go home I want peace and quiet. I don’t want to discuss current events, politics, or business/community oriented projects. So on some level, I understand why guys like Diddy may venture to the Lori Harvey’s of the world. Sometimes just having a foundation that’s based in peace, low-energy, and lots of sex lol is the objective. Verses someone that’s driven by challenging you daily – under the guise of “debating” – it just requires too much energy.

Can she read yet?

Part of the reason for the high amount of ‘ain’t sh*t men’ due to the ‘ain’t sh*t women’ raising them. That’s why there’s more of them than ever – because this is the highest documented rate of single motherhood. That’s why these ain’t sh*t men are catty, emotional, and ill equipped to lead a cat out of paper bag – they were never taught how and they only know how to view situations from an emotional lens. That balance that existed 50 years ago has been removed from most black communities.

You so d@mn right it’s making me sick. LOL

I’ve noticed this trend as well that a lot of successful women give their less successful boyfriend/husband a role to play in their business and they take full control (e.g. Monique).

That’s EXACTLY what I said… The “ain’t sh*t” men wasn’t around to raise their sons….lol

She’s has a relationship that last longer then a year and all of a sudden she’s an expert. No doubt whomever she is dating is surely simply using her for the $$$ poor thing

Haaaahaaa!

https://media3.giphy.com/media/1APhwhykUGH6maiRPU/giphy.gif

People don’t understand how it is important to have the father at home, it’s uncanny how mistakes happen when two as a team is not fulfilled. Black men are not driven this far cause most are counterproductive. They see it as work not growth.

Nipsey was a good father and a presence in his child’s life.

Women are mostly raised with the Cinderella complex ….. this part right here!! Life is not a fairytale!! (In Fannie words) and I agree with all you wrote! My only question is what man we gone get to sign this? ?

I like Fantasia wish she would make a jazz album she’s got the perfect voice for jazz music

https://media0.giphy.com/media/l3vRl1ZCO7zHZjPO0/giphy.gif

The blind leading the blind you got a lot of that going on too

Let God lead instead of either one of you being too bossy and uncompromising.
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/90bf784d36c00c6d12d95de94cb0e0ec3c79e54145a37087e339d537bc27e0b6.jpg

No she dint say that…

I see he “trained” her with this/his way of thinking.

No miss lady the government offered the black woman section 8 food stamps and a check And part of the man money if she kept him out the house

I heard thats why she didnt get one of those movies roles due to her none reading. LOL I was just asking. She giving relationship advice, did she read a book or something?

Like Monique’s husband.

LOL!! Stawp it! https://media3.giphy.com/media/xUA7aM7vpeS5PVwcCI/giphy.gif

Did she pass all tne subjects for her G.E.D. ?

Chile! Lol!

I think Melba story was the WORSE. He ended up with prison time too for stealing and not from HER but he still went. Good for his ass

I totally agree

I had to read her entire comment. I agree with her comment about how husband and wife must work together. I hope everyone has a great week. Prayers for the people of the Bahamas.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B2jnN59HpuT/

Naw, it didn’t get that far (not married, narn chirren either LOL) but let me tell you chile. He was a hot azz mess that was enough for me. I wouldn’t wish that on a enemy. First his friends convinced him that he didn’t deserve me and that I was really this gold digger in disguise. So, his weak response did not break me but made me stronger. Can’t stand no weak azz man. Ugh!! Let me off of here. LOL

Is this the basketball player? The one, he and his wife tried to sue her for him cheating?

No Sir!… the wyt gov’t set that up to separate the blk family home… First they wouldn’t give the blk man a job with decent wages… Then in order for the blk woman to get financial and food assistance from the gov’t, she couldn’t have the man in the home… It’s ALWAYS been a conspiracy to divide and kill the blk family and the blk community!

Fantasia teach the super aggressive I am independent woman

I totally agree but it seem like the woman took the bait and went and filed the paperwork on the black man

He’s right. It’s been abused and many people have no idea what “submitting” in a relationship means. It’s almost like a dirty word.

That’s dope!

Correct ! When I was young I used to think I didn’t need a man who would stand up to me. I clearly thought wrong lmao

Exactly! The man being the head of the household is all predicated on him not being knucklehead! I can’t follow if you leading me to destruction! Lol

? so wrong omg I forgot about her struggles with literacy

? I was thinking the same thing…

She’s definitely not a Virgo.

Probly bc she needed the assistance to help take care of the kids and keep a roof over there heads… A lot of our ppl didn’t know what the racist wyt gov’t was up to when it came to tryna divide and ruin the blk family and community… A lot of women reacted outta desperation, which is understandable if you got kids and no income… But the welfare system also FORCES these women to report who the father of their children are in order to get any kind of assistance… Again, it goes back to desperation more than tryna “hurt” the blk men who fathered their children…

Exactly!!!!

Well if the woman was a hoe like you say then the man should have definitely made sure to NOT have any children by her!… But if he did have children by her then it’s his responsibility to be a father to the kids… But a lot of blk men don’t do that… They just dip and leave the whole responsibility on the woman and women can’t be the ONLY parent or the offspring is gonna grow up f’ckd up bc BOTH parents are needed and necessary to raise healthy productive citizens…

Lots of these women have kids by 4 and 5 different guys

I know and it’s sad… Most are just looking for the love they never got from their missing daddy’s… Smdh!

Yes ooooo because it appears she brings home the bacon and has to cook it too!

Fantasia(whom I saw at various award shows last one The Motown 50th Anniversary earlier this year) is one of my favorite singers that gives it her ALL.

Damn that’s some real shizz

Fantasia, Fantasia. Aren’t you the same woman that locked yourself in a closet and “overdosed” on baby aspirin because your SECOND baby daddy left you to return to his WIFE??? But yet, now that you’re actually married, 2 bastards in, (but not to either of their fathers because they didn’t want you) you feel qualified to give relationship advice? I’ll pass…

Females have been walking behind males, putting up with their none-sense. The female human has had enough and took the proper number of steps. Now they want to blame the female. GTFOH The male chromosome is decaying anyway. Nature is tired of them!
https://www.google.com/amp/s/biology-online.org/men-go-extinct-y-chromosome-slowly-disappearing/amp/

She didnt say “males” she said KINGS. Maybe not knowing the difference is part of the problem. Follow behind a fool if you want to, and you’ll get what you asked for—Foolishness!

Yes that maybe so but everybody can’t be a king or queen and that is where the confusion lies.

Fanny promoting that tour huh ?

Whatever Mammy Handmaiden Mule

And the cycle keeps going in a circle ??

????? ok I remember folks was like but was she really trying to kill herself by taking aspirin ???

Who are the subjects to the kings and queens ?? Their kids?

72% of black women have bastard kids

https://media1.giphy.com/media/Le7SZwGosyvdK/giphy.gif
@@travisulysses:disqus

I wish I would take advise from somebody that tried to kill their self with Flintstones vitamins, over a dude that worked at Metro PCS ?

Exactly! It is such foolishness! People are so empty they have to pretend.

Shut up ????so the white man knocked on doors of married couples and offered them food stamps and section 8? And said but you must leave your husband? ??????

Real Mad!!! Wow!! He came with the”Mule Bitch” and “Mule Hoe”

You went hard ??

This works for a king that can lead. Me and my hubby work together and I know my place but he also knows his place and that works for us. Everyone’s relationship is different, glad its working out for her.

Her self esteem is low and so she can keep her advice

Not enough kings and so that might be an issue

Yasss!!

African culture is not the best example… the woman are sharing 1 man

Since this is a open post, and Miss I Can’t Read is trying to drop knowledge, I have a few things to say. I’m really concerned about the black race. I’ve noticed that a large group of blacks live for drama, tearing each down, and negativity instead of putting their energy into building a future. Due to a lack of education, we’re cornered into entry level jobs, the service industry, or call centers. And we don’t take pride in our positions..acting unprofessional and not being goal oriented. Over the last several days, I’ve dealt with four black individuals who did their jobs poorly. If you can’t cut deli meat, handle a service call, or get my order right, how can you compete with the white race. It’s time to stop blaming the white man. We are doing this to ourselves. At this point, we can’t compete with legal immigrants including Indians, Asians, or Africans because we don’t invest in ourselves. Quite frankly, our race is dumb. We are at the bottom because we keep ourselves there.

U didn’t take the advice when GOD gave it to u so ????? What are u saying.

These are my beliefs as well. Big daddy Cookie and I discuss everything and we are pretty much on the same page. If not we make our points and revisit the circumstances and usually meet in the middle. BUT there are those times when we don’t agree with each other at all about a particular situation. He respects my opinion and I respect his but at the end of the day, that ninja has the final say so. That is ONLY because he has proven himself time and time again and earned the right to be the head of our household and make the final decision. And conceding did not come easy to me. But it’s almost freeing now because the hard stuff ain’t on me to figure out. AND if I felt one way and he another and we ended up going ONLY his way, it is a wonderful I TOLD YO STUBBORN ASS, who is dumb now? Bet you feel crunchy, moment if it f*cks up. ? I am happy as hell here!!! She is not wrong. But a man has to earn the right to be the head. It shouldn’t be given easily. Don’t tell him but he actually makes better decisions than me a lot.

She wasn’t giving advice. She was asked a question and if you comprehended what she said, she talked about the demise of Black men and Black women having to take on non-traditional roles. I’m starting to believe some of yall are retarded for real.

#RIF

And I’m sure You are in a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP..
RIGHT?…OH WAIT……

@Kimocha, she said exactly what you are saying and added that it has been going on for so long that if/when a king does come along, we as Black women have become so conditioned to being the leader/head and everything else that we have lost our softness (i.e. willingness to be led/subservient)

#RIF

Yup.

that she tried to put on with the Bail bonds business

Not metro! ?

Yall reminder that song chante moore made titled chante got a man at home. Ask her where is he now. A ring n a penis doesnt make one an expert.

Fanny looks happy…
Fanny has matured…
Happy for her!

he was at home waiting on her behind while she running the streets sang-in!
and poor Kenny Latimore she just…gurl i just cant!

No. More women wouldn’t be single if more meb were leaders. It’s like that nowadays.

I see people of all races exhibit this same behavior. It’s not just a black thing but maybe just your environment

Lol?…jus speaking from my experience

That’s the attitude of a loser and why we’re laughed at and considered the dumbest race except when it comes to being an athlete or entertainer. Comparing yourself to other losers who’re another race is a reason why you shouldn’t be ambitious?? You’re pathetic.

FLINTSTONE VITAMINS. Go straight to Hell!! ???????

from the chick that was about to kill herself and make her young child be without a mother and a father cause she couldn’t deal with life without her sorry ass man?
girl no and bye.

??????

Facts

Guuuuuurl ????

I like Fanny and all but…no…What works for you (& yours) is fine & your business. But please don’t spew your opinions (& your family dynamics) onto the others. I can understand & appreciate what her point is; however there isn’t a right way or wrong way. Every relationship is different, b/c we are all different.

I HATED that song!

You said “I’ve noticed that a large group of blacks live for drama, tearing each down, and negativity instead of putting their energy into building a future.”

But started the very post tearing down another Black person by saying “Miss I Can’t Read is trying to drop knowledge”. Smdh

She actually looks better than she did when she was younger

Like mya

If 80% of black households are raised by single mothers then your logic of black women picking the wrong guy doesn’t even add up. Wouldn’t be procreating any children trying to find the 20% that could be perfect black women been head of household since slavery when they was lynching killing n removing black men in the households.
Couple that up with false imprisonment for black men psychologically effected due to white supremecy comditioning. The

You better say it!

My experience with the man-child thing is the opposite. A lot of men will put their best foot forward the first three months to rope you in, than you find out they can’t keep a job or apartment and have no real motivation beyond minimum wage jobs. As a well to do woman, I refuse to lower my standard of living to help a man out. I want a man like your husband that takes the lead and is a true alpha-male.

Being frank & being disrespectful are two different things. As I said, your info may be correct but you obviously have deeper issues w black women (so you date others & then drag us). There are PLENTY of us that are nothing like what you speak of. YOU have just not attracted one. If you date outside your race, thats cool. Women like me practice hypergamy so we ain’t missing anything.

Here’s some truth. Women of a certain caliber only deal with men who can provide on a defined financial level. You have a lot of time to be on a website arguing w women which tells me that you may not be on that financial level. Men of means don’t have time to type hella paragraphs.

You said all this but have not mentioned how YOU are solving the problem. An issue will continue to be an issue if there is no solution offered. Are you teaching young black boys to be providers & protectors? Or alpha men who don’t operate on emotion like a lot of weak black men? You showing young men how to lead households & gain finances? It all starts with you- since you are supposed to be the leader. I was raised by an independent single mother who thought she was a man & It took ONE black man to come & take leadership & he has gained my respect & loyalty. Why is it sooo hard for the rest of y’all? Bc you want someone to follow you and you’re not man enough to TAKE leadership. Y’all are not emotionally or financially equipped for what you want. A real man who can provide can have a woman who looks & acts the way he wants & she doesn’t have to be another race. I practice hypergamy so I see superior black men regularly & trust they don’t have the same sentiments. Hell, they gave me the game & that’s why I’m calling bs. That’s the real truth.

She’s telling the truth and it seems like she has grown since her past relationships. If someone did drugs or alcohol in their past, sobered up and gave advice to others on why not to do it or how to advoid doing it; their words of knowledge isn’t valid because of their past? If anything, I find it more valid because you changed and are speaking from experience.

Example: I personally would appreciate a woman’s advice on how to get out of a relationship with domestic violence more than someone who has observed it and has good advice. Not that you both couldn’t give solid advice but it’s my opinion to listen more to the one that lived it and changed.

I agree to a degree but in the Black community there is a shortage of men who want to lead or are even capable of it. The lack of fathers has created generations of males that don’t know how to be the head of their household. They watched their grandmother’s lead, their mothers lead, and now they are waiting for another woman to come and lead them

Your reply is proof positive of your lack comprehension skills lol smh. The issue is: BLACK WOMEN and their inability to take accountability for the lack of quality black men. Because it is BLACK WOMEN who are creating a cycle of illegitimacy and weak black men – not black men. Re-read my comment again and try not to get too emotional in your rebuttal next time.

I think she does this periodically to see if we miss her. https://media2.giphy.com/media/oYf6KxDNwSMfK/giphy.gif

Again, you are missing the point. This isn’t about *you* and *your* obstacles with men. This is about a collective problem that has been gaining momentum since the 70s and we are now dealing with the fallout. *I* don’t specifically care about your romance triumphs or obstacles, but I do care about the quality of black people in our communities, and do I care about creating a solution to said problems. That being said, and judging by your overall perspective on the topic, I don’t think you’re mentally or emotionally capable of having this discussion.
Take care.

This new dude?

Sigh….I fear that that we are going to be left with this and that beyonce’ post for the weekend. LOL, and those were already stale by noon yesterday. LOLOLOLOL.

I think she said she and her mom were moving into a new house yesterday, so she’s probably still trying to get settled in.

I agree. Her career will never reach the level of her actual singing talent. I actually thought she’d be a much bigger star than she’s become today.

Fantasia these men are with you because there is money involved. All the men are far more handsome than a regular buck tooth woman would typically be with. It is human nature to seek out someone who is your physical equal, typically. If some supermodel is trying to get with you and you are about a “5” or so, they got an agenda.

Exactly

She is spouting off advice she got from the church. After Kandi’s wedding Fanny went into overdrive looking a’ man.

That’s because she looked like a 40 yr old woman when she was 20. Now it fits.

That message was put out there like a one size fits all and thats dangerous. A man and woman have to be on one accord for that submitting to work. These men out here will have you in an open marriage, swinging and still be cheating and having side pieces and be on the DL. Women blindly submitting is why they stay engaged for 20 yrs and have several kids by a man that refuses to marry them. That blind submitting is why African American woman are the fastest growing population with HIV, have the highest single mother hood rate, and the lowest marriage rates of everyone. The message should be that men need to love their wives the way God loves the church so that a woman can submit.
-Ephesians 5:25

Took thee words out my mouth.

Lawd!

Shoot if you are a gold digger and Marjorie was giving you advice on how to snag a rich man, she just may be on to something. You might want to pay attention, she did it successfully and so is her daughter.

In the other cases Jlo hasn’t had the experience to speak on a successful marriage. A lot of people wouldn’t need to get advice from Nikki because if you want to get with a convict, go to prison pen pal sites. Kim’s advice may be questionable, she could just be honest and say that two narcissists are in a marriage of convenience and stay together for monetary purpose.

Your post is true. Lol@ go to prison pen pal sites.

Exactly!

I just typed something similar. A stumbling drunk???

I just can not

In other news Omarosa visit Michael Cohen in prison as personal advisor and Kenya Moore divorcing husband after two years.

pffftt please! she hasnt shown any growth

No such thing as a seven year itch. EVERY marriage is different. She is speaking from her experience through biblical teachings and application to her own life and marriage. I agree with her. Folks get divorced after 30 and 40 years so 8 years ain’t a “threshold”.

They still practically honeymooners. She needs to shaddup. She broadcast all her disfunctional relationships like its the the ultimate goals until it blows up in her face, like young Dro. When the money stop this dude and his grandkids with be out to door. Oh yes, Fanny is a step grandma at 30. Seems like dude bought a whole lot of baggage into that relationship. Isn’t he a reformed convict? What man would leave a woman that’s foolish enough to be paying all the bills and submitting? He got he made. Bye, with the bad advice Fanny. Btw Submitting doesnt mean servitude. It could be as simple as letting your husband have the biggest piece of chicken. Most men value their womans opinions and intelligence. If this guy valued his woman s input, then he would have married a woman that could at least read.

Fanny is overcompensating. I would bet you $50 her man has a side chick behind her back. Because she came in a relationship as the breadwinner and most men don’t respect women that make more money than they do especially these fatherless black males out here.

With gasoline drawls???

Ion like you, BUT you told the truth on THIS one. Sigh.

I would never ever take ANY relationship advice from Pickmeisha broads who date down. That’s just “hustling backwards”? I’ve only heard broke ass men who don’t run shit but their mouth try to bamboozle women who are totally out of their league in the first damn place to “submit”. Thankfully I’m allergic to dusty ass disrespectful assclowns like that anyway. Here’s a great video that debunks this domestic violence enabling disinformative agenda against carefree black women…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRNb83hOAZY

Add to it that there is a shortage of decent people period in the age of narrcisistic, pleasure and no self accountability. Even Obama said he was concerned about the quality of men that would be available for his daughters to date. That was way back in 2010 but people forget that kindness, compassion, responsibility and accountability are failing to the wayside in the 21st Century.

Wendy Wiiliams

Don’t forget the drug epidemic. Like in the Ray Charles story. These rascals were out here getting hooked on that junk and bringing it home getting the wive’s hooked on it too. The “strong” women got rid of those busters. That was a large reason for why the single woman household was supported by the governent. Before the drug epidiemic you had to have been married or widowed to get welfare.

Kings???

Really?!

Fantasia came into submission after getting burned and a few broken bones. #facts

Exactly!!! Women wasting their child bearing years on a pipe dream is extreamly sad but some women prefer it that way

Yeah, he used the Making of A Slave & How to break a Horse Manuals.

Me to

Not many queens either

Exactly!