Jo Jo may have epilepsy, but that flop on the stage in Australia was not a seizure. On this audio, K-Ci admits that the flop IS a part of the show. But we here at already knew that. I think it’s really sad that K-Ci attributes this particular fake flop to an epileptic seizure. I think enough of us have seen epileptic seizures to know that that wasn’t one.

Rapper T.I. hits us off with another track from his upcoming CD “Paper Trail” titled “Swagger Like Us” featuring a lackluster Kanye West, Jay Z and Lil’ Wayne. This track is the epitome of how far Hip Hop has fallen. A track like this should be fire, but instead it sounds like album filler – leaving so much to be desired. The hottest part of this song is the M.I.A. sample. And once again Lil’ Wayne ruins a track with his brain dead droning.

Is it just me or has Knaye’s production skills fallen way off lately?

Thanks to Style Razzi for sending this over!

If you’re not familiar with the Long Hair Care Forum, click here. Some time ago I created a post informing them that their attempts to grow hair faster is futile because hair only grows at one speed – and they banned me! :(

I’ve been meaning to post about this for a while now but I never got around to it. They didn’t even give me a reason for banning me. I guess too much common sense shakes their confidence or something.

I still lurk over there and I shake my head at all the misinformation I see. Everybody knows that human hair only grows at a rate of half an inch per month. I don’t care what you put in your hair its not going to grow any faster. And some black women can’t grow hair at all due to genetics.

I really believe some of those chicks over there are delusional. For instance, the name of the forum is Long Hair Care – yet none of them can agree on what the definition of long hair is. Some say shoulder length, while others say arm pit length with still others say bra strap length.

I have included a photo I just took of my invisible fusions which takes about a day to put in – and for which I paid a grip I might add. The ladies on the long hair forum would consider my hair to be just above my shoulder blade. By their standards, my tresses are not long. Go figure.

Terry Crews is a former NFL player turned actor who’s most known for his role as the browbeaten father on CW’s Everybody Hates Chris. But in real life this man is far from browbeaten. Unlike most of the requests I receive for my Morning Wood section – Terry Crews is a real man.

Crews is a former NFL linebacker who bench presses 475 pounds. He simply oozes machismo and the ladies love his self confidence. Unfortunately for them, Crews is a happily married father of five.

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Atlanta rapper Alexis Miller, aka Mary Jane, is pictured with rapper Lil’ Wayne in an undated

When I heard about this story last week I figured it was bogus. What judge is going to approve a restraining order without any evidence of stalking? I just knew NBA star Shaquille O’Neal could not be that stupid to leave evidence behind, right?

Apparently he is and he did:

Fulton County Superior Court Judge Richard Hicks granted Alexis Miller’s request Thursday after reviewing her allegations that the basketball player stalked her, threatened her with bodily harm and made harassing phone calls in which he breathed heavily into the phone before hanging up.

Miller, a 23-year-old hip-hop artist known professionally as Maryjane[click for her MySpace], claimed she ended an intimate relationship with O’Neal last month. She alleged he then threatened to pay performers $50,000 each not to work with her.

“It’s been very difficult for her,” said L. David Wolfe, Miller’s Atlanta-based attorney. “Her fears are not only for herself but also the people around her.” He said Miller, who has a young son, is “pretty traumatized.”

Wolfe said Miller had known the 7-foot-1, 325-pound All-Star center for about a year and a half, and that the two became intimate over the past six to eight months.

The court affidavit quotes an e-mail from O’Neal as saying, “I dnt no who the [expletive] u think u dealin wit u will neva be heard from one phone call is I gotta make now try me. Sho me.” (Source)

Here is Rapper Da Brat’s mug shot from the Dekalb County jail. Like a true G who hasn’t learned anything from her mistakes, she’s got the prison pose down pat.

As you know, Brat, real name Shawntae Harris, was charged with aggravated felony assault and sentenced on Aug. 22 to three years in prison, 7 years of probation and 200 hours of community service.

Sources say Da Brat will do at least 12 months in the pokey before she sees freedom again. Here’s her pertinent stats culled from her booking report online:

    Shawntae Harris
    4715 West Adams St
    Chicago, IL 60644

    Height: 5’5″
    Weight: 160 LBS
    Hair Color: Brown
    Eye Color: Brown
    Race: Black
    Sex: Female
    Complex: Medium
    Current Housing Assignment Section -3 Block – NW , Cell 1, Bed 1

    Arrested 22 Aug 08
    DOB Apr-14-74

    Charge Aggravated Assaulted Felony

Da Brat’s victim, Shayla Smith, 24, worked at Studio 72 as a part-time waitress prior to being assaulted by Da Brat with a broken rum bottle during a Halloween party at the club. Smith has hired prominent Florida attorney Willie Gary to represent her in a lawsuit against the club, its promoters, Jermaine Dupri and Da Brat.

Smith, whose face is permanently scarred as a result of the attack, was a Falcons cheerleader and a model.

The track is titled “Captive” and it was ghost written by Chris Brown for the Pussy Cat Dolls. I have so many questions: why did Chris Brown himself record the track if it was intended for the PCD? Obviously this is a finished track and not a demo. So by recording the track was Chris Brown acting out some secret down low fantasy?

Is this Chris’ way of kicking open the closet door with a bold and daring statement? And does Rihanna understand that she will now and forever be known as Chris Brown’s beard? Heyyyyyyyyy! :)

So I’m in the club on Saturday night, sitting in a booth by myself wondering why Diamond, formerly of crime Mob, didn’t follow through on what she promised me she was going to do (that kid is always letting me down).

Suddenly, the DJ played this song and I was up in a flash! Your auntie was bussin’ a move on the dance floor like it was 1981 all over again! :)

Back in my day the music was the thing. If you had talent you got signed to a recording deal. It didn’t matter what you looked like or how big you were. Back then the greatest singers were big beautiful girls.

Then the old label heads (who knew something about real music) either retired or passed away and their children (who grew up privileged and didn’t appreciate the music their parents danced to) took over. Hip Hop supplanted R&B as the musical preference of a new generation. And the eventual Beyoncification of the music industry ensured that we will never see the likes of Cheryl Lynn again.

Webster’s dictionary defines the word “pratfall” as “a sudden drop from an upright position” or “a blunder that makes you look ridiculous; used in the phrase `make a spectacle of’ yourself.”

Jo Jo, formerly of Jodeci, made a fool of himself while performing with his brother K-Ci in Sydney, Australia over the weekend.

K-Ci and Jo Jo were in the middle of singing their hit “All My Life” when Jo Jo leaned a little sideways, did a semi-pirouette, lost his balance and landed on his butt before laying down on the stage. And there he remained motionless while K-Ci continued the act.

The dead giveaway is when their hulking bodyguard saunters onto the stage, bypasses Jo Jo, and without breaking stride, picks up the microphone that Jo Jo dropped and exits stage right.

Anyway, we’re talking about the stunt so it obviously worked.

Jazmine Sullivan performed on BET 106 & Park today. Her single is currently #1 in the country. Much respect to Jazmine. But I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that we also showed much love to another very talented newcomer singer by the name of Chrisete Michelle. ‘Memba her? Chrisete was Up Next and after recording a duet with the nigger Nas that was that fiya – she quickly lost momentum.

Unfortunately, Chrisete stumbled out of the blocks because she had the audacity to gain a little weight. And I predict that the same will happen to Jazmine since she is beginning to tip the scales in the other direction. I was speaking with an industry professional this morning (he actually manages an established artist) and all he talked about was how much weight Jazmine was gaining.

Spike Lee brought the kids out for a fun time at the Nike Block Party opening in NYC yesterday. Mom is Tonya Lewis. His kids are Jackson, left, and Satchel (?). Who names their kid Satcheland a girl at that? Why not name her knapsack or duffel bag or gym bag if you want to ruin her life?

There should be a law to prevent saddling your kids with these ridiculous names. Or at least give the kid the option to change her name to something less embarrassing once she’s old enough to realize what it means.

We need attorneys who specialize in representing kids to prevent this sort of nonsense from occurring. Or have a judge right there in the hospital to approve the name before it goes on the birth certificate and becomes final.

Anyway, tennis superstar Serena Williams also joined in on the fun. She has an endorsement deal with Nike, as does Mars Blackman, I mean Lee.

Photo: Wireimage/Getty

Photos: Splash News Online

If I hear one more person say Rihanna is broke I will scream. I keep telling you good people that if it isn’t on CNN it ain’t true. Nobody knows where that story came from, yet you’re willing to spread the malicious gossip. I’m very disappointed in some of you because I thought I taught you better thaan this especially you Malcolm tsk tsk tsk.

Anyway, the paps were out in full force on Melrose Ave today and they snapped Rihanna (with her little brother) and Chris Brown doing a little shopping. I wonder whose money Rihanna was spending if she’s so broke?

But on a side note, Rihanna, I need to have a word with you baby. I know you’re the style queen and everything looks ultra fabulous on you. But those boots are not the bizness sweetie. They’re very distracting and just plain hideous. I wouldn’t be mad at you if you never wore those ugly ass boots again. Please.

But the real story here is Chris Brown. Is he paying a little more attention to his personal style of dress? Granted he looks like he just played a round of golf at the local Country Club, but I like it. Lord knows that boy can’t dress himself to save his life! Good job RiRi!

Celeb Style is sponsored by P.Valentine Boutique. Owned by 2 of Atlanta’s fashionistas. Sherlita Patton (wife of Antwan “Big Boi” Patton) and Tracy Valentine, P.Valentine remains the true celebrity secret. For more information visit

According to online reports, rapper Da Brat, real name Shawntae Harris, was sentenced to three years in prison today. But as I wrote earlier, Brat will only serve 12 months of the three year sentence. I know Brat’s girlfriend is weak unless she can convince another baller Dom to pay her bills.

A DeKalb County judge sentenced rapper Da Brat to three years in prison Friday for striking a woman with a rum bottle at an Atlanta-area nightclub.

Superior Court Judge Gail Flake also sentenced the rapper, whose real name is Shawntae Harris, to seven years probation and 200 hours of community service.

About six members of Harris’s family wept when a sheriff’s deputy took her into custody.

“I love y’all,” Harris, 34, said as she was led out of the courtroom.

“We love you too” the relatives replied in unison.

Harris entered a guilty plea to aggravated assault.

The victim, a waitress at the club, had to be hospitalized after being struck by Harris, and Flake said the woman suffered permanent facial scarring. (Source)

Brat’s victim filed a lawsuit against the club, its promoters and Da Brat.