The Straight Male’s Guide to Recognizing Trannies in the Clubs *Update*

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Yesterday, I received pictures of a well-known Atlanta DJ hugged up in the club with a person who is alleged to be a tranny. I have obscured the young man’s face in order to protect his identity in case he doesn’t realize that the chick he’s crushing on came equipped with the same factory equipment that he has.

As I wrote in my post dated Feb. 23, there’s nothing wrong with being transgendered. It is the dishonesty, the unspoken truth, and the deception that is wrong.

Once a tranny has completed the transition from male to female, they work very hard to fool heterosexual men into believing they are the real mccoy. They distance themselves from their past lives to better assimilate into the heterosexual world. Even it it means deliberately avoiding other trannies and cutting themselves off from the gay community so their cover won’t be blown.

Over the past decade or so, these trannies have successfully infiltrated the heterosexual Atlanta nightclub scene.

Trust that most of the club photographers know who the trannies are in the clubs. It has become something of an inside joke to pair up known trannies with thugs and then post the pictures online — or email the pictures to me.

So in an effort to raise awareness about this ongoing deception — and to spare straight brothas the humiliation of staring at themselves online hugged up with a woman whose gonads hang as low as theirs, I am posting this Straight Male’s Guide To Recognizing Trannies in the Clubs.

1. Big Feet – The average American male’s shoes size is 10-12 in mens. In female shoe size that translates to size 12 or 13. Some stores don’t carry female shoes in those sizes, so some trannies get their heels custom made. So beware if the shawty you’re macking in the club has unusually large feet.

2. Adam’s apple — I would have placed the adam’s apple at the top of this list, but for the fact that some trannies have had the surgery to trim theirs down to the point where it’s virtually undetectable. Still, the adam’s apple remains the litmus test for trannies.

3. No hips – The average female’s pelvis is wider than a male’s. Nature made this possible so that babies could pass through the birth canal without getting stuck. Therefore, the average male’s pelvis is narrower which gives males a more pronounced straight up and down shape.

4. Wide shoulders — Even the most feminine tranny has shoulders that are set wider apart than a female’s. That is because the average male has larger heart and lungs than females. So if you meet a female in the club whose shoulders are as wide as yours, scroll back up to #1.

5. Too much makeup — This one is a no-brainer (no pun intended).

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SHOCKER: Lloyd: ‘I Told Chris Brown To Cry’

As you know, Chris Brown received a ton of positive press following his tear soaked performance during the 2010 BET Awards on Sunday.

While many in the audience were moved, I wasn’t because I knew his crocodile tears were not genuine.

Yesterday, I fielded calls from quite a few industry insiders who all believed in their hearts that Chris Brown’s tears were genuine and that he was suddenly overcome with grief and emotion because he was given the chance to perform the MJ tribute on BET.

Isn’t it funny how blind our people can be sometimes?

I guess you have to be a celebrity blogger to recognize bullsh*t when it’s being played out right in front of you. Everyone who praised Brown’s tearful antics on the show should be insulted now that they know the entire scene was staged.

In a post-awards interview with RapUp TV, singer Lloyd said that prior to Brown’s performance, he met with Brown backstage and encouraged him to cry on cue in order to garner sympathy from the masses who were tuned in to watch the MJ tribute on BET.

“I told him, man, you gotta go up there, you gotta cry. You gotta really, um, show your heart to the world, and, um, they’ll understand. I think time heals all wounds.”

That’s when Brown took to the stage and turned on the waterworks, complete with arms flailing and chest thumping. It was quite the performance, and the audience ate it up.

The fact that Brown’s tears were disingenuous and contrived is more evidence that Brown is a major manipulator — just like I told all those industry insiders who called me yesterday.




 

Celebs Out & About: Jay Z, Oprah, Christiano Ronaldo


Rapper Jay Z returned with a friend industry exec Steve Stout to the trendy upscale Nello restaurant to have lunch today. He showed off his new iPhone 4 which he doesn’t seem too thrilled with.


After playing with his toy at the table, Jay Z enjoyed his lunch at the Upper East Side eatery where the rich and famous go to canoodle over $65 asparagus shoots and $75 lobster salad.

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Medical Minute: Alopecia Areata


New pictures of former super model Naomi Campbell’s hair loss emerged on the Internet today. According to the Daily Mail, the pics were taken at a fashion photo shoot in New York.

Naomi often wears lacefront wigs to cover her bald spots caused by breakage due to years of wearing glue-in and sew-in hair extensions.

I’ve also seen this type of temporary hair loss caused by mental/nervous disorders (Alopecia nervosa).

From Medicinenet.com:

What is alopecia areata?

Alopecia areata is a hair-loss condition which usually affects the scalp. It can, however, sometimes affect other areas of the body. Hair loss tends to be rather rapid and often involves one side of the head more than the other.

Alopecia areata affects both males and females. This type of hair loss is different than male-pattern baldness, an inherited condition.

What causes alopecia areata?

Current evidence suggests that alopecia areata is caused by an abnormality in the immune system. This particular abnormality leads to autoimmunity. As a result, the immune system attacks particular tissues of the body. In alopecia areata, for unknown reasons, the body’s own immune system attacks the hair follicles and disrupts normal hair formation. Biopsies of affected skin show immune cells inside of the hair follicles where they are not normally present. What causes this is unknown. Alopecia areata is sometimes associated with other autoimmune conditions such as allergic disorders, thyroid disease, vitiligo, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, and ulcerative colitis. Sometimes, alopecia areata occurs within family members, suggesting a role of genes and heredity.

More Info On the Web

Alopecia Areata Causes, Treatments, Symptoms — WebMD

Alopecia — UMM




 

Celebs Out & About: Beyonce, TI, Tiny, Sean Combs, Nicky Minaj


Is Beyonce on drugs? She hasn’t been looking like herself lately — which may or may not be a good thing. Yesterday, while dining with her husband Jay Z at Nello restaurant, Beyonce’s face looked haggard and drawn. I might also add that she has that wild, crazed look in her eyes, like she’s slowly coming down off of something, which isn’t entirely unusual for her. It doesn’t help that she continues to wear that awful, ratty, Nicki Minaj-inspired lacefront wig.


More BET Awards photos from Sunday night. These pics went online two days late for some odd reason. Here T.I., his fiancee Tiny, and Sean Combs pose with Dawn Richard, left, and Kaleenna, right, from Sean’s group Dirty Money.

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New Couple Alert? Eva Pigford and Mystery Woman


What can be more humiliating to a man, than to lose his woman to another chick? The rumors about former America’s Next Top Model alumni Eva Pigford being a lesbian were finally confirmed on Sunday night when Eva escorted her gorgeous girlfriend to a BET Awards after-party. Eva must really hate her former boyfriend, actor Lance Gross, to disgrace him by insinuating that she dumped him because he failed to perform sexually. No wonder he tried to redeem himself by approaching LisaRaye, who, in turn, rejected his advances. But what did Eva expect? She knew he was a gay fish when she picked him up.


Puffy’s baby mama, Sarah Chapman, center, abandoned her dreams of becoming a top fashion blogger after Puff dropped the hammer. She was seen partying with him and friends at Mr. Chow’s in LA on Sunday night.

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Should Celebrities Delete Their Twitter Accounts? *Updated*

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Yesterday, R&B Diva, Monica, lashed out at actress Vivica A. Fox’s “nasty” critique of her BET Awards attire. Mo wrote a “tweet” calling Vivica an “old lady” and ridiculing her fashion sense. Mo apologized for her outburst in a series of tweets on her Twitter page today.

3 days ago, Monica took to her Twitter page to scold others for basically doing the same thing she did: she wrote “If it’s illegal, mean, disrespectful or just plain stupid. Don’t post. Grown talk.”

Public forums, such as Twitter and Facebook, gives the public unprecedented access to their idols. At the same time, celebrities can bypass their publicists and handlers to instantly post their thoughts and opinions.

There was a time when celebrities posted to public forums anonymously to protect their image. But not anymore.

Twitter proves time and time again that celebrities — most of whom are narcissists with poor impulse control, such as Chris Brown — have a difficult time adhering to their own lofty standards, and (sometimes unrealistic) expectations of others.

Twitter removes that barrier of protection between a celebrity’s fragile ego and the public. It opens celebrities up to harsh public criticism, which is something that narcissists simply can’t tolerate.

So the question is: should celebrities delete their Twitter pages?

Update:
Mo posted these tweets earlier today:




 

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