British songstress Rita Ora and new boyfriend Calvin Harris made their first public appearance as a couple in London last night. Rita and Calvin held hands on their movie date to Electric Cinema in London, UK on Monday night. Rita’s last boyfriend was Kim Kardashian’s brother, Rob, who took their break up hard.
If Rita was my niece, I would sit her down and explain that the highs she is feeling right now means she is in the dopamine phase, and those highs will eventually start to fade. I would advise her to avoid any mention of the word Love until she’s out of the highly addictive dopamine phase, which can last anywhere from a week to 2 years.
Declaring your undying Love for a man too early in the relationship is part of what causes a lot of these relationships to fail.
“When we declare, ‘I will love you forever,’ we may actually be saying ‘I never want this brain-chemically induced feeling to stop,’” writes Bill Manville in his excellent NY Daily News article on dopamine addiction and sex.
Finally, I would tell Rita not to make any serious decisions while she’s in the highly addictive dopamine phase. Don’t worry about losing him; if he is really meant for you, his Love will stand the test of time. If not, adios amigo! There are other fish in the sea!
Click here to read more about the highly addictive (and potentially destructive) Dopamine phase.
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