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Facing the end of a marriage or a relationship triggers a cascade of emotions similar to experiencing the death of a loved one. Staying with a cheating husband or partner is a deeply personal decision.

The following are 10 reasons long-suffering women stay with cheating husbands (the list is not in order of importance).
 

1. Fear of being alone

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Most women stay with cheating husbands because they fear being alone. Fear of being alone can result from a traumatic or frightening childhood experience. Other causes are insecurity, neediness, anxiety or depression.
 

2. Low self-esteem

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Low self-esteem can make women feel vulnerable and insecure if she's dealing with a cheating man. She may settle for less than she deserves. She can be taken for granted and used for her money and assets. She may believe no other man will find her attractive.
 

3. Financial reasons

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Some women have no choice but to stay with a cheating man for financial reasons. If the man is the main breadwinner, his wife may feel powerless to leave because she can't afford living expenses on her own. Sometimes cheating husbands use finances to control their wives and keep them totally dependent on them.
 

4. Religious beliefs

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The Bible says, "And as for you, be fruitful and multiply; Populate the earth abundantly and multiply in it." Some men take this verse literally to justify fathering children outside their marriage. Some women may not agree with outside babies, but their religion prohibits them from filing divorce. Divorce is unacceptable to God in many religions except under certain circumstances such as adultery or cruelty.
 

5. For the sake of the children

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Many women will stay in a relationship with a cheating man if children are involved. Divorce can be a stressful and traumatic experience for children. Children may blame themselves for their parents' divorce.

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Divorce may have longterm psychological effects on children. For these reasons mothers will consider the negative effect a divorce will have on their children. Especially if they have minor children who need a father figure in their lives. Divorce is not ideal for couples with children under age 8.
 

6. Convenience

Some women stay with cheating spouses for convenience. Sometimes it's easier to stay with a cheating man than to uproot and rebuild her life. She may not have the funds to start over. And she may not have established credit, which makes it difficult to turn on utilities in her name. She may decide to accept his cheating ways for the convenience of a lifestyle that she can't afford but has grown accustomed to.
 

7. Fear of change

Some women stay with cheating men because they fear change. Fear of the unknown can be very difficult to overcome. She would rather stay on familiar turf than to wander off into the unknown where she may feel unsafe. She is not interested in meeting someone new.
 

8. Revenge

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As the old saying goes, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." A vindictive vengeful woman will stay in a broken marriage to make sure the other woman doesn't move into her home. A vengeful woman will refuse her husband's request for a divorce to make the other woman miserable. In seeking revenge on her husband and his mistress, she will forsake her own happiness.
 

9. Denial

Denial is one of the main reasons women stay with a cheating spouse. Denial is like a blindfold that prevents women from seeing reality. She will be disconnected from her own feelings and she might self-medicate with drugs or alcohol or perform self-harming behaviors. She will ignore advice from friends and family and stay in a cheating marriage for decades.
 

10. Domestic abuse

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Domestic violence can occur in heterosexual and same-sex relationships. Domestic abuse is a controlling behavior usually inflicted on women by men. According to statistics more than 38 million American women have been victims of domestic violence. A battered woman may feel intimidated and manipulated into staying in a marriage with a cheating man. Victims of domestic abusers may experience low self-esteem, low self-worth, anxiety, depression, powerlessness and helplessness.

  • ShelbyMoore

    Yet we don't ever hear about men staying with cheating women. Women need to do better. I don't know why women feel they have to endure so much to be with these ugly tacky disgusting men. Treat these men the same way the treat you! TF is wrong with y'all!?

  • smartchickfl

    Never thought I'd feel this way, but I actually feel bad for Wendy. Anyway, today is my bday and all I want is some sleep!?

  • millz

    Was at my local clinic Monday...nurse tells me on Friday there were three positive aids/hiv cases... two gay men and a 38 year old married woman who caught it from her cheating husband... heartbroken isn’t even the word to explain how she felt... leave these dogs alone or it will cost you more than your pride!!!

  • sherri2016

    I have a neighbor whose the broke version of Wendy Williams she loves to gossip about other people but knows her husband is sleeping with any female that gives him the chance he slept with 2 girls on our street and 1 was rumored to be pregnant but she moved so I don’t know if it’s true and once she moved she thought she won him like he’s a prize I understand they have 3 kids together but I couldn’t do it

  • Gloria

    But a man will leave a woman in the blink of an eye for reasons other than cheating, lol. I can't feel sorry for any woman who accepts a cheating man.
    Life is too short and there's too many other eggplants in the world to put up with BS.

  • Lady_Elle

    Hmmmm GOOD S*E*X .... should be in the top 10!
    He cheats... says sorry (or not).
    Make-up s*e*x! It is typically GOOD!
    She / he will get back on the merry-go-round for another ride!

  • Truth7981

    Don't get me started...

  • Truth7981

    I am off the board today..i can't do this

  • Lady_Elle

    When this happens... the side piece is in the wings waiting!
    There may be more than one side piece!

  • Gloria

    Good! The side piece and all the other thirsty hoes can have the trifling dog.

  • Lady_Elle

    Happy Birthday!!!
    Do whatever you want!
    Enjoy YOUR day! :-)

  • iWasteTime

    Is that Kev in the blue shirt with the titties ?

  • Lady_Elle

    there is only one way for this board to go... SOUTH!
    :-(

  • iWasteTime

    Happy BDay !!

  • Lady_Elle

    rofl... that is a solid A cup (very close to a B).

  • ShadesofEMPRESS

    Auntie you nailed it. Now watch all the weak ass women who stay with cheating men disagree.

  • Gloria

    Cheating dudes can be a blessing in disguise. In my case, I met the love of my life through my former boyfriend's side piece (We became friends after he quickly cheated on her too, lol). Been happy with my new boo ever since.

    These women need to gather the courage to LEAVE because i swear real love is more closer than we thin.

  • ShadesofEMPRESS

    I agree with all of this. I refused to lower my standards. I know my worth and I treat men how they treat us as women.

  • tintin

    i think financial reasons and fear of change are the biggest reason women stay

  • Topic Influencer

    And all 10 reasons are their own damn it biz

  • Li-Wright

    All good points.
    If that's the case, then the woman cheated on should have her "side piece" also. Touche'

  • ShadesofEMPRESS

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

  • tintin

    Good SEX kept me with a cheating man when I was in my early 20s. Now in my 30s a good peen ain't keeping me.

  • BeUtFullSoul

    Happy BORNday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Miss Thang

    My mom stayed for financial security.

  • Renee26

    Startin out hump day messy as hail! ? ? ?

  • HoneyyGoodMoneyy_

    shittin me.

  • Yup, I said it

    I think fear of being alone is #1 though. From the people 60 yr old and younger are just a population full of people with abandonment issues and low self worth. Even the men, they cant be alone. Heaven help us when people become these Peoe reach the age widowed/widowers and the dating pool is small because the age group starts dying out. Being single too long will kill them

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    Interesting. I'm just gonna sit in for the comments on this one.

  • SouthsideServesHerWell

    Well I think all are reasons why women rationalize staying with cheating men. However, whatever the reasons are I never JUDGE, because you don’t know what you would do until you are in that situation!

  • Truth7981

    But before I go...listen cheat right back on them and tell them all about it. I am sorry backstory- my spouse cheated on me when we were engaged. More than once! While I was taking care of his daughter. My God...here we go. I forgave him the first time and blamed it on myself. The second time I said dueces and broke up with him. We were broken up for 2 yrs. However, because my kids and his children were close we still had holidays at my parents. But he and I were on different sides of the table and never spoke. The last holiday we spoke but nothing more. Then all of a sudden he calls. He asked could we talk, I said sure. Five minutes into our conversation we started discussing his cheating. Then I calmly said. After I found out you cheated I did the same. I told him about the females and men I slept with and told him he deserved every bit of it. He went rogue for a couple of days. I made him deal with it. I didn't hide that I went on with my life, while we were together the same as he did to me. Listen I was able to move past the infidelity once I spoke my truth to him. He deserved it. But now I am different. I think like a man. Ladies if a man isn't happy he will cheat. If he is happy he probably will too if the opportunity arises. So in my case, I doubt I will stay faithful, not just because of my current but my ex too. Yes, we were able to move on but I am not the same. Sad to say we get along better now because I am not all in. I dont believe he is currently cheating but I dont doubt he will. If he does we are over and because I am that vindictive, I will tell him exactly who I slept with. Hint-we break bread with him weekly. Dudes ain't shit. F-it

  • Truth7981

    So did my mom.

  • Gloria

    Mine too.

  • Kimocha

    Hmm... Seems like Wendy is 8 thru 10 and maybe 7.

  • Renee26

    You brotherfucccer!! ?

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    With that think like a man man mindset you will be alone forever like most of these gorgeous black womens single af and nobody wants to deal with them no more than a quick screw

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    That’s a lot of people humans are ment to be social

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    Me being man who have slept with a lot of married women and women in serious relationships,I feel that all women cheat and especially black ones most don’t have a moral code in the famliy like what I have seen dealing with Spanish and white women...

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    The numbers game is a big factor in this though. The number of quality available men is lower than the number of quality available women. Men know it, and women know it... so that factors into how both men and women act when it comes to this issue.

  • SouthsideServesHerWell

    ???I don’t why ppl try to convince you to think otherwise on your posts! You are a lost cause!!

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    Hey I’m just speaking from my experiences that’s all

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    And most of the time the women cheating on her husband because he work so much to take care of the house or they saying they need new penis

  • Renee26

    My daddy abused and cheated on all his wives but they all eventually left. Got his 1st wife's sister pregnant. Had 2 steady girlfriends towards the end of his marriage to my mom and a few others in between. Cheated on his 3rd wife with a few women before she finally left.

    I broke the cycle of staying... I give my all in relationships so if a mf strays he can stay right on wherever he went. He can watch the next man reap the benefits.

  • Renee26

    Most women aren't getting cheated on by quality men though...that's the kicker. Usually the cheats have a lot of other faults too.

  • MNjumpoffacliff

    The hurting and humiliation of it all is just not worth Wendy or anybody staying. Just prayers for her and anybody going through it.

  • EasyBreezy

    Why can I not stop laughing at the pics associated with each number? Auntie, you win again on the shade!

  • Yup, I said it

    I'm not gonna run up my body count and waste my youth playing that cat and mouse game with anybody that cheats. If I'm not enough for him, I open the door and show him how to walk thru it, and I dip. Life is too short to waste it on revenge and proving your value to someone who doesn't value you.

  • Yoni7

    This sounds about right. I had nothing to lose but EVERYTHING to gain in my breakup. Been just fine ever since.

  • Yoni7

    GIRL! Like a personified gif. LOL

  • MNjumpoffacliff

    Yesss

  • EasyBreezy

    Glory! Congrats!

  • MNjumpoffacliff

    I know right lol

  • MNjumpoffacliff

    I know that's right. I stayed with the kids sperm for years and I shouldn't have but now I'll drop you immechedly.

  • guest

    Facts! Sad but true...smdh

  • DeJeri

    I used to work with abused women and many would stay for the same reason. Some of their partners were cheaters as well. It can be a form of emotional abuse at times, if it's coupled with insults and put downs, and the woman can't leave because she's financially dependent.

  • EasyBreezy

    Indeed. But carry on...

  • sherri2016

    With the name Robert E lee either your white troll which you are or cooning hard so its pointless to continue to respond to you

  • Yup, I said it

    What you lost was the potential to become a petri dish of STD's and a step mother and sister wife to a slew of kids and thots. You also get to enjoy your money because your not paying all the bills because his money goes towards child support and abortions. You also lost all those late night calls from unknown numbers telling you they f÷cking your man. Those are loses that I count as gains.

  • Coy little wink

    Well...my moms daaddy cheated on grandma...then she got preggers with twins that weren't his...yet he stayed

    Dad's dad had 9 kids with the mistress...

    I think monogamy is difficult and the deck is stacked in men's favor....

    I don't judge anyone because I live in a glass house...shout out to Kcool...

  • Ms. EJ

    Desperation and low - self esteem are the two main reasons (IMO). I, personally will never stay with a man who'll cheat and I make that very clear before being exclusive ie committed relationship. I don't care if we have a tribe of kids, have to split assets and so forth. I'm not sharing penis or endangering my health. I know I would never trust or look at my spouse/significant other the same. Cheating is a choice and not a mistake. It involves deception, scheming, plotting and lies. No ma'am/sir!

  • EasyBreezy

    Don't go... continue to offer your insights. We appreciate you.

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    True, but if a woman does have a quality man and he cheats on her, she's often thinking about how hard it will be to get another one, since the numbers game is not in her favor. So sometimes a man who considers himself to be high quality feels (or knows) he can get away with a lot of stuff before she would decide to kick him to the curb.

  • SouthsideServesHerWell

    I don’t think I seen this point up top, but I think age is a factor too. Sometimes if a woman is older she will accept a cheating spouse. ?????

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    That definitely make more sense ..since he a whore I’m going to be a whore also mindset is nothing but the doorway to AIDS

  • EasyBreezy

    Praise Him! Another year around the sun... enjoy. Continued prosperity...

  • Yup, I said it

    Social is yes but having a mate is not always guaranteed. There may be 100 single men/women on your block and you may not be compatible with any of them. People have to learn to,stop grabbing up any warm body just to avoid being single.

  • EasyBreezy

    Preach

  • Miss Thang

    All eggplants are not created equal.

  • Rayscoty

    Is that Kevin mistress in the police uniform?

  • EasyBreezy

    Sidebar (sort-of); I watched Wendy last night (recording) and she sat there like she did not have a problem in the world. Damn, she can act. Not a wig hair out of place, no red eye, big, genuine looking smile... Chile. Give this woman an Oscar, Emmy, Tony, & Grammy.

  • Kimocha

    Hmm... Well I'm a loner and am used to being single and having a hard time committing to a brotha... I ain't tryna get played out here and that's all they seem to do!... But I have been in & out of a relationship for the last 6 yrs bc it's ME who be running, hiding and ducking from HIS azz!... He been wanting to commit, move in together and all this and that. But I been by myself for so long... And kinda stuck in my ways and like to be able to come and go as I please and walk around my crib naked if I want to, or don't cook if I don't want to, or just do whatever TF I wanna do!... So it's been hard for me to get my mind wrapped around living with him and he been patient and I do love him... But it's been a real struggle for me for real cuz I got trust issues and it's been less stressful living a single life than having to worry ab that cheating/ side piece BS!... I just can NOT!

  • jeniefrumdabloc™
  • NewNew
  • Renee26

    I was thinkin the same thing ?

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    Well that white supremacist got the black man and black woman hating each other so much so it’s definitely like that...nobody can get along together

  • Ms. EJ

    I remember an old colleague of mine whose been married to her husband close to 16 year's stated that it depends on if it's just a one - night stand or an affair ( weeks - month's - year's). She stated she can deal with a one night stand, but not an affair, WTH. I've also come across some women who stayed under the guise of " staying for the children" when it was clear that wasn't the real reason. It was just easier to hide behind staying for the children rather than saying I don't want to start over and/or feel I can't find/nobody else wants me. Cheating also gets people killed. Many year's ago a lady at my church was killed by her husband for cheating. The funeral ( I heard) was very awkward and uncomfortable for the congregation. My ex - his good friend became paralyzed from sleeping with another man's woman. It's weird, because I've had several associates and a friend all WOMEN get upset I mean legit angry that I said I would leave immediately - by stating that I am not being a true Christian by not forgiving. I had to remind them that even the Bible states adultery is grounds for divorce. And, that forgiving doesn't mean one has to stay in anything that's not healthy.

  • Yoni7

    Damn you dealt with all of THAT? I didn't get the STD's, phn calls and slew of kid's deal. LOL I got the talk greasy about me to his ex and others, entertaining hoes online, won't get off his mama titty, lies, coins don't match mine, can't make a simple decision, can't lead, can barely read, comprehend nor UNDERSTAND the simplest of things. Had no insight, no input, ALWAYS misunderstood me, verrrryyy narcissistic, sneaky, introvert, uncultured, didn't live in reality, your perception of life is what you see on TV, etc........deal.

  • Renee26

    Agreed 100%%

  • Yoni7

    Damn. No disrespect but is daddy still alive?

  • EasyBreezy

    So, you don't have to. If you love each other, simply plan to live and love in separate domiciles. Its been done, and it can work. Congrats to you on living your best life. This is a great example.

  • NewNew

    How did he "become paralyzed "? Was he shot?

  • SpillyNillie

    Well damn! That's a lot...and whole lot NOT to like about a person...

  • Yoni7

    Me being man who have slept with a lot of married women and women in serious relationships.... https://media0.giphy.com/media/5h47LKoyTw0yHtrDMe/giphy.gif

  • EasyBreezy

    Yes. Yes. Yes!

  • Yoni7

    ......and so I left. LOL

  • Renee26

    My daddy's 3rd wife cheated on him a couple of times; even spent his money on the side dude. They broke up for a couple of years and my daddy kept custody of their 2 sons. She moved out and was on a relationship with the other guy and my daddy became her side piece then she got pregnant with my youngest brother (the demon seed). Then her and my daddy got back together.

  • WinterIsComing

    You’re a liar. I know you haven’t dealt with any white women for sure by conjuring up this lie.

  • Ms. EJ

    Yes ma'am. And, the young lady from my church was beat to death with a brick. The guy she was caught with was the postal man who jumped out the window and broke his leg.

  • Renee26

    Whew chile!

  • Renee26

    Hence my comment below to LBJ... Most cheats have a slew of other issues

  • WinterIsComing

    I knew a guy that had an out of state young girlfriend for 2 years, live in girlfriend for 10 years, a longterm mistress of 20 plus years, and a wife of 30years that lived out of state. Wife never worked a day in her adult life.

  • Renee26

    Yeah... He still hoe-ing out in dez streets at 78yrs young

  • Yoni7

    Many year's ago a lady at my church was killed by her husband for cheating. The funeral ( I heard) was very awkward and uncomfortable for the congregation.
    __________________
    My brother killed his wife for cheating. Then killed himself. We had their funerals together (with both families coming together) on my 22nd birthday. During the funeral planning a (pregnant) lady showed up at my mom's and said she heard about the deaths on the news and that she and my brother had been planning a WEDDING. SMH

  • Renee26

    Nobody has time to waste being miserable. You can't get time back

  • Yoni7

    WOW! When you say it was awkward for the congregation, why? They couldn't believe that Sister Hazel would do that type of thing or that Deacon Johnson would do such a thing?

  • jeniefrumdabloc™

    In short some sort of Codependency ... summed the whole article on up https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1834f8abafe8012c9c8683bfe1a6c82b192d506c333d5461b2bfb3e3f69247a7.gif

  • Yoni7

    I'm asexual now because the pickings out there are NONE!

  • Coy little wink

    Sounds juicy. You should write a book. I am...

  • OvertheMississippi

    11. Cause she cheats/cheated too.

  • Yoni7

    If you love each other, simply plan to live and love in separate domiciles.
    _______________
    Which has always been my plan. LOL I try but I can't see myself giving over my goodt credit and responsibilities to someone. LOL

  • WinterIsComing

    Skipped right past “slim” and went straight to “none”. Well damn! ????

  • WinterIsComing

    ????

  • iWasteTime

    There are different deal breakers for everyone.
    I encourage open and honest dialogue. I'll be with Mr. Time 18 years this summer and as many times as we've had the conversation his ass has never ever wavered, all of it is a deal breaker. In the beginning I called myself being more "Open Minded" but fluck that now, get out and give me half your pay check

  • Yoni7

    Wasn't a mistake. LOL

  • Meme

    So the women who cheated on "YOU" said they needed new penis??? so are you confirming that you have old sub standard penis? Or?

  • Yup, I said it

    Im am a commitment phobe myself, however I don't cheat. I just leave when I cant meet the expectations. I have problems with the people who cheat and lie about it. If you know monogamy is the expectation and you can't be monogamous, then just stay single or get with someone who is cool with an open relationship. Cheater dont do that because they like the sneakiness and mental abuse and pain they can inflict. They use it as a weapon. Typically cheaters are immature and terrible communicators. Instead of saying that they don't want a committed relationship right now . They will move in with you and when you make them mad they will go to the bus stop and pick up somebody and smash her to get back at you.

  • Meme

    You poor thing no wonder you're always here venting your frustration about black women

  • Yoni7

    Do his thang still work? I know it's EW and TMI but daddy had to have scratched something along the way at some point.

  • iWasteTime

    wow Yoni! thank's for that share.
    I can't imagine how hard that was for everyone.

  • Ghost

    Happy Birthday ?

  • Scromes1212

    My n*gga you are hilarious lol that first sentence lol

  • Ms. EJ

    Oh! my goodness!!! I've heard of many folks finding out things after the person dies ie another woman, child and so forth. I am so sad that you and your family had to endure such a tragedy. May I ask why did the wife's family allow funerals together? If it's too invasive I understand.

  • WinterIsComing

    So your brother could dish it but couldn’t take it? Men couldn’t handle the same sh!t they put women through. That ego...

  • Yoni7

    THIS! I don't cheat......but when I'm done. I'M DONE!

  • Skin Deep Beauty

    I ain't the business of feeling sorry for no GROWN AZZ FOLK! Get over it or continue with the FOOLISHNESS!

  • Ms. EJ

    I feel so bad, because I wanted to laugh at " Sister Hazel". Most of our funeral's are usually of elders and once in awhile heart attack or stroke. I assume the nature of the death and the reason behind it.

  • Ms. EJ

    I couldn't agree more.

  • Gloria

    How would your brother be planning a wedding with someone else when he is married? And based off his actions, he had no plans of leaving his wife.

  • Scromes1212

    The pastor? You n*ggas foul smh

  • Ms. EJ

    I wholeheartedly agree re: different deal breakers.

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    I’m saying they cheated on their husbands because they wanted new penis

  • Kimocha

    Thanks!... But he wants to get married and he talking ab he tired of just being able to see me 2 - 3 times a wk after all these yrs. He wants a REAL committed relationship... And I do too, I just got used to being by myself and got trust issues and guess I'm a lil afraid too that it might not work or whatever!... But I also contribute a lot of my ability to rock solo from being the only child for 18 yrs until my mom had my lil sis, which I was damn near grown when came so... I basically grew up the only child, so I got "loner" issues too chile!... Smdh!

  • Ms. EJ

    Many can't. I've heard a lot of men rationalize such reactions by stating that when a woman cheats it's emotional (she's already left the relationship) and the thought of another man being inside of his woman ( excuse the vulgarity) intensifies such feeling and confirmation she's over the man (him).

  • NewNew

    Relationships sure are/can be complicated!

  • MrsSpice1

    Great post!!!! Mos def the EXACT 10!! ????????????????????!! And in that order?!! Chicks like Tammy rivera, Cardi B, Wendy, Gabrielle Union, Tiny H. Rasheeda And the preachers wife ?etc they all seem like at one point they were broken and these fraudulent husbands saved them and now they may feel as if they owe them for saving them from themselves only to realize It was all a dream/scheme! Smh. Many men use women for power and ego treat them
    Like trophys instead of their soulmate. Many men are insecure and seek likely women! Much respect and praise to all the REAL HONEST LOYAL MEN/KINGS/GODS that are devoted to their treasure, queen, princess, goddess, WIFE!! I salute You! Believe it or not theres men out here that are profoundly inlove and committed to they one and only and no other woman can Compete or compare? ? ?!! If ur blessed to have such a King in your life please show him some good lovn hes very rare and special!!?????

  • AphroKween

    What's the point? This is too much!!

  • NewNew

    My husband is one of those Kings you speak of. Love that man to pieces. You can't buy integrity like that. I know I'm blessed. ???

  • ClaireHuxtable

    12. Shame & Pride. She doesn't want people to know she's made such a terrible mistake thereby tarnishing her image. She cares more about outward appearances. She doesn't want to hear "I told you so".

  • Louisville Is4TheBirds

    Why no picture for #9?

  • AphroKween

    Ridiculousness!!

  • Kayke

    Happy Sleepy Birthday.... enjoy your ?

  • Kayke

    Low self esteem covers all ten, because if you feel good about yourself, none of those other things matter.

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    That's why I blocked him a long time ago. If more people would block him and ignore his posts, maybe he'd eventually get the hint.

  • Gloria

    Two wrongs do not make a right. You aren't doing yourself any favors by "thinking like a man."

  • ClaireHuxtable

    *smh* He was probably never afraid it would blow up either.

  • Yoni7

    That's how men are.

  • NaeNay

    I could have written this. Me too, Kimocha.

    Plus, I don’t like sharing my shit. I know everything I have is mine and no one can take it away from me.

    Trust issues.

  • MissyJ

    I could deal with that one as a wife. I ain't got to work OR live with you and wash your stank drawls? Sign me up.. Go live with her and come round Chrimah and my birfday

  • Renee26

    You can forgive and move on.... I went to school with a girl who's contolling bf shot in the face over cheating. Beautiful girl too scared with a deep dimple like mark on both cheeks...fast forward about 15yrs later she cheated again and her bf threw a mazeltoff (sp) through the window and burned her and her lover up... Both survived but now she's permanently disfigured.

  • TransMichelle

    What's worse any man can be tempted to cheat. He can be with the most beautiful woman in the world (Halle Berry, Eva Longoria, Elizabeth Hurley, Christie Brinkley, and others have all been cheated on) and still cheat. Now, some women don't play and will get rid of a man if he cheats with a quickness like Eva Longoria and Christie Brinkley! However, temptation and actually giving in to temptation is another story. This is why homosexual men (who have all the instincts of men without the restrictions) have 100s sometimes 1000s of partners. This behavior is accepted in their relationships because they know "how men are." They are free to whore without commitment. Many masculine acting lesbians also flirt with cheating behavior as they feel this is a key characteristic of men.

  • Renee26

    My friends daughter got shot in her hip over cheating and has to walk with a gait and cane.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    WoW! That's so sad...and all unnecessary. These tragedies effect so many more people than just the couple involved.

  • Kimocha

    "I can't see myself giving over my goodt credit and responsibilities to someone"
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    THIS!! Yes Chile!!

  • Darkandlovely617?

    Good morning babe, thank you for sharing. So sorry y’all had to endure that, and that your birthday will never be the same.
    ??????

    Was the baby his, are y’all involved with them?

  • http://batman-news.com Roderick2011

    It's called compartmentalization.
    Some do it better than others.

  • Yoni7

    Thing about me, I find light and laughter in almost ANYTHING! I WILL laugh at a funeral (Almighty forgive me). My nieces and I can't be serious for nothin'. How old were they? What happened to the husband?

  • http://batman-news.com Roderick2011

    Wow your daddy was as shady af.
    He would have given mine some competition.

  • Yoni7

    I guess not. I honestly think he was mad at the way he found out is what "triggered" (no pun) it.

  • Renee26

    Swear!!

  • Dowoop

    Lmfao

  • WinterIsComing

    Lolololol well, initially they lived in the same house. He cheated constantly. Then he got a chic pregnant. The wife started divorce proceedings and moved out of state. He moved the pregnant chic in. They stopped divorce proceedings. He built wife a house a gave her an $11,000 stipend each month. Baby mama moved to cali. Moved some other chic in after. All the while the mistress of 20years was still in the picture.

  • Renee26

    Refer to the one for #8.... It's a combo

  • WinterIsComing

    It did in a very public way.

  • Renee26

    Clears throat... Wendy

  • Ni Ni

    Bound by STDS, Old Age...

  • Kimocha

    Exactly!

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs
  • http://batman-news.com Roderick2011

    Oh mercy, a March Aries.

  • Yoni7

    It's not invasive. I talk about it here all the time. Talking about it (even years later) has always been therapeutic for me/my family. That was how WE "grieved". The families had no issues with each other. Yes, we were all angry at what transpired. However, until THIS tragedy, our families had always been fine. Our families even "blended together" and sat on HER side of the church. They are buried together as well. Same headstone. Now, I will say, for a second during the fune, something DID jump off....and my sister who is a Jersey girl to the bone, did threaten to pull a gun IN THE FUNERAL. But it was resolved quickly.

  • Ni Ni

    Trifling

  • Parent

    DAMN! So sorry.

  • Parent

    Because that is what cheating men do!

  • Ms. EJ

    I agree. I'll even add that developing and instilling high self - esteem and confidence starts at home (IMO). Both I and my ex started very early on with our daughter and ongoing. I also put into her psyche ( when she begins to date - marriage) that any man who will cheat on her doesn't respect nor deserve her ( it isn't love). Its more than okay to leave. I also told her that ultimately it will be her decision if she stays or not, but to NEVER let ANYONE shame her into staying. I started early on with letting her know how smart she is, how beautiful (physically and personality) she is and how great of a person she is, which I do on almost a daily basis. She is the most loving, humble and caring being and I enjoy watching her grow. She knows her self- worth already and will be ready when she goes out into the world.

  • Yoni7

    You're welcome. (murder)Suicide is a whole notha' death. I'm tellin' you.

  • Renee26

    All of this!!

  • ClaireHuxtable

    Good. I hope they all beat him and threw him in the Hudson river.

  • SouthsideServesHerWell

    I might just have to do that too! lol

  • Kanyade

    Aw mercy! So sorry for your loss. Such tragedy. :(

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    Hey Sandra,

    Do a piece on WHY people stay married but live single lives and act as if Money is the reason for not getting a divorce.

  • WinterIsComing

    ?????

  • ClaireHuxtable

    ...if the size 11 shoes fits...

  • Renee26

    ? right... She doin her own thang

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    They have self esteem and mommy issues!

  • Kanyade

    Happy Birthday to you :)

  • Renee26

    A lot of men run when you tell em cheating is a deal breaker.... I be like bye!

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    ???? @ mazeltoff!!!!

    Molotov cocktail

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    Congratulations ????
    Im coming up on half of your time this fall!

  • Parent

    Omg hun, are we the same person?

    I've been on and off with my guy for over 10 years. I too was scared of committing and sharing my space. Until recently, I was looking at his instagram and happened to see a female comment on his photo, so I clicked on her page and boy was I butt hurt. She was claiming him and it killed me. I told myself, I'm about to lose a good man. I snatched his ass right back up and we will be moving in together soon. We truly don't know what we have until it is gone.

    All the best to you!

  • WinterIsComing

    Well, she’s kind of right. I’m sure the BF was toasting in celebration after he roasted the cheater and her lover.

  • Ms. EJ

    WOW!!! This is what I am talking about smh. Cheating has multiple layers that aren't good, at all. There was a school teacher in GA whose husband mistress kidnapped her, killed her and then herself.

  • WinterIsComing

    Too much! The D aint worth all of that.

  • Parent

    Your King will come.

  • MistaO

    Real #1 Reason: They've been cheating as well!

    Paternity fraud bears this out. Many, many husbands are (and have) gone through life thinking the children their wife had were his. Only to find out later they are not. Many of these skanks take these secrets to the grave. That is why paternity testing should be law!

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    WOW... How old was your Bro?

  • Ni Ni

    Did the 1st wife and sister reconcile? Did he have kids by both?

  • NewNew
  • Kayke

    Beautiful!

  • Renee26

    Wow...

  • Ms. EJ

    Whew! that couldn't be me or my family, however everyone is different and/or handle things differently. My daughter's old teacher sister's husband killed her ( her sister) and himself and NOBODY knows why. No one seen them argue, no police called to the residence … no nothing. The teacher sister was found on the bed and her husband slumped over the desk in front of the computer. No note. Nothing. They had separate funerals. The families don't speak.

  • Vonn

    ??

  • Yoni7

    You're welcome. No the baby was NOT his. But she said that literally coming in the door. After she said "No it's not his..." when asked, we were all like "Oh. Uhm. Nice to meet ya, but yeah, we gotta finish this planning. Can somebody pass the macaroni." type shit. *insert dismissive wave* NO LIE! LOL No we're not still involved/in touch with her (my real sis-in-law) family (if that's what you were asking).

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    Stealing this one

  • Yoni7

    For years to come.

  • Darkandlovely617?

    Have a rockin day doll??

  • rory

    It took some time in a "jacked up" relationship. I believe too much in Me, Myself and I. I deserve Respect, Honesty and Care just as the next person deserves. Also, there is a difference between being Alone & Lonely. Lawd, y'all done touched a nerve!

  • MistaO

    He's an idiot for even wanting a broad like you...js. He must be female raised. It's females like you that can't be wifelike but expect Black men to protect you as if you were one!? ? Many of you have this chicks mindset then at like 40+ expect some "good man" to want you then...no way too old and too much baggage...

  • Yoni7

    WOW! You're always left wondering. We had to put our own timeline together. It seems to pan out, but only THEY know what happened.

  • Truth7981

    I disagree. Women are treated like dogs. I feel no remorse

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs
  • Yoni7

    31, I believe.

  • Parent

    Damn. That's how you feel?

  • Yoni7

    I accept this.

  • Yoni7

    Thanks.

  • Truth7981

    I hear you. It wasn't about proving my value to him. It was all about me. I worked every bit of pain out on the dude penis I landed on.

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs

    Dang! So sorry Yoni??

  • Yoni7

    Absolutely! xoxo

  • Kimocha

    Aww...Thanks so much! and I definitely get what you saying and had a long talk with my dude last night and I know we will be moving forward together bc he IS a good man too chile! And congrats to you and yours! I wish you all the best.

  • Kayke

    Wait what?.... because she doesn’t chose to be subservient and define herself by marriage and commitment means she doesn’t deserve to be protected? You sound like you hate your mom and didn’t know your father.

  • Ms. EJ

    Thankfully, the ones I've told this to didn't. However, I did have one who literally argued me down that if he cheated it will never be planned, WTH. And, that humans are imperfect ( I so hate that saying - it's often used when one is doing dirt). In the same breath he stated he wouldn't cheat, but if it happened it wouldn't be premeditated, again WTH. It told me all I needed to know.

  • jwoo250

    I stayed due domestic abuse. But let me tell you. After awhile you get to the point where you'd rather risk your life than stay stuck and miserable.
    Leave these men lady once a cheater always a cheater they just continue to do it.

    Seek support and if your in a situation that is dangerous get a restraining order, don't let him know you are planning to leave his a** and if you have to move far away.

    Because when you finally leave these psychopaths they will try and hurt you. Even though they did you wrong and cheated on you. Society has made it okay for a man to cheat on his wife. So a lot of women feel like they have to forgive him and move on.

    Trust me ladies if the tables were turned it would be different and he'd never forgive you. I have had so many wives tell me they've caught STDs from their husbands.

    Did you know as an HIV/AIDS advocate how many times I've heard stories from women who caught HIV while married it is crazy. One story of a older woman who got married to a pastor when she was in her 60's bought me to tears when she told how he hid the fact he was positive from her.

    Leave these good for nothing men alone. Be happy to be single and take the time to find yourself. Make sure that you know your worth. Make sure he is everything that you want him to be and if he's not show his a** the damn door!! Goodbye nicca.

  • Yoni7

    Typically cheaters are immature and terrible communicators. Instead of saying that they don't want a committed relationship right now . They will move in with you and when you make them mad they will go to the bus stop and pick up somebody and smash her to get back at you.
    _________________________
    *church stomp* THIIIIIISSSS!!!! During my breakup, I ASKED my ex....."If you saw what I saw in your phn, what would YOU do? Would you have stayed?" He first said "I would wait to see if I seen anymore communication.".....me "FOOL you had been "entertaining" this hoe for almost a year, how much longer should I have waited?" *crickets* "Again, would you have stayed after you seen what I saw in your phn?" "Truthfully? I would have just went out and fukked somebody else."
    Maaaaaannnn lissen.

  • Ms. EJ

    Yeah...she said that it is extremely hard to properly grieve and move on, because she has no idea why he killed her sister, then himself. I can't imagine such mental torture.

  • Yoni7

    BAY-BEEEE!!!!! IF I had to pick my poison. THIS would be my type of arrangement. LMAOOOOOO

  • KcoolMuziq

    I think it's because it's not enough men to go around. Women have no choice but to stay or be alone the rest of their lives.. Men can catch a woman and sleep with her on the way to the grocery store and come back home to their wives and leave it back there. Most women can't & won't do that.

  • Ms. EJ

    The young lady was 23. I believe her husband was a several year's older...maybe 31.

  • Yoni7
  • Yoni7

    Wishful thinking.

  • Miss Thang

    Yes. Everyone has different limits. I could deal with a physical affair but not an emotional affair.

  • Miss Thang

    Omg what an asshole!!

  • Yoni7

    Oh wow!

  • Guest

    GOD. The STDs!

  • Yoni7

    We (kinda sorta) know why, but still.

  • Kimocha

    I wasn't even gonna waste my time with a reply... But since you had to troll yo ass in my lane... I AM in my 40's and he IS a good man and is in love with everything ab me and DO want ME!.. So don't worry ab me and mine with yo trolling ass!

  • WinterIsComing

    You aint right!

  • Guest

    SAD. Sorry this happen to you and your Family. Tragic!

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    But what about those with high self-esteem & narcissism??? One of my brother's ex wives cheated with a man who wasn't worth a pot to piss in...she was young & beautiful and my brother was making great money so he supported two households (Wife #1 and Wife #2 Muslim)...he went to Wife #1 shared house and found the other man there...the other man shot my brother in the face on his way to get in the car...one of the shotgun pellets hit him in the eye and to this day hes blind in that eye... she proceeded to hide the weapon when the cops came to the point of her getting arrested and charged. To this day she admits no guilt and lies to make herself look good instead of telling the truth.. Before the shooting my brother said he stayed because his first wife was beautiful and confident...she was all of those but decided to cheat instead of abiding my their marriage and being a dutiful wife...Her narcissism and inability to just go because of the money almost cost my brother his life..they both stayed for their children but that incident rippled out to the point where our side doesn't have a relationship with her or my brother's kids...

  • YellowSauce

    The male and female relationship can be a dynamic thing however most do not know how to create and develop healthy relationships because they have not lived the example of one ... Men are told this behavior is fine and women are taught its not and women who do are demonized .... How can relationships work if we are given different game plans to relating to each other ? ... we CAN'T .... First you have to be on the same page. There is no blueprint because each person and their circumstances factor heavily ... The devil is in the details and how you treat each other ... your chemistry compatibility and communication are key ... Also listening to your intuition and PAYING ATTENTION to what you see ...tell yourself the truth and know if there is supposed to be someone you should be with as far a s life partner then he is worth this process .. Just like college LOVE takes time ... you spend time getting your hair done just right ... you look for a job you go through the process ... take your time with love also .... its worth it and also know that it may not last forever

  • MJF

    right, it's unfortunate but money or a good job doesn't make you happy or want to be faithful to someone.

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Your statement made me cringe... it sexist and egregious so you must be a man. Any woman who is finding trouble dating or meeting a faithful man usually is because most black men think like you...its sad because we are the nurturers and at this point the bread winners (education and money)... As I said before when a well dries up you go to a new well...Black women need to date outside their race its the best chance at being respected and valued because brothas have this "Get down or lay down" mentality like you do....

  • AListDiva29

    Tiny knows everything that's going on, I just wonder how much longer she'll tolerate it? I think Tip saw someone with fame, money and low self esteem, and sweet talked her to help get a jump start on his career, and she fell for it hook, line and sinker. He got a lot of fame, then started cheating, so I wonder if he ever really loved her at all? She has her own money, so I don't get why women like her stay? My only guess is low self esteem.

  • Ms. EJ

    Yes, that is the point I was making that money doesn't equate to a good partner. I agree that it doesn't make someone be faithful either.

  • Pamela

    Block it

  • Pamela

    Me too.

  • Guest

    Just make sure you have your own space. A room/place in the house that is just yours.

  • Pamela

    Block it

  • Ms. EJ

    I don't think she will ever leave that man.

  • Rayne

    Stay TRUE to yourself.

  • Navybeans95

    One thru ten....ion give a dayum bout none of that...If I love u I give almost all I got...so I expect the same in return...if u can't do that we don't need to be together...

  • Yoni7

    WOW! HE stayed after being shot in the face......but had ANOTHER wife as well? Her puss had to be platinum coated.

  • Pamela

    I love you! You my twin sister.

  • Yoni7

    That old lady and pastor story would make me cry.

  • Ms. EJ

    I wouldn't deal with neither, but whew! I heard an emotional affair hits you in the guts to the bottom pits of your heart. I remember how I felt with my ex (when he and I weren't together - but trying to get back on track) and him sharing with me how had been talking daily and opening up to a " friend" hurt immensely. It was the emotional intimacy of it, especially knowing how he is a quiet person ie stays to himself.

  • Guest

    Everybody starting a new relationship should get tested together, DEMAND IT!

  • Yoni7

    OH MY!!!!

  • Marlika

    ??Great post Sandra. You broke it down so well! The illustration gave great examples.

  • jwoo250

    Yes that is exactly what I tell people. I remember when I asked someone had they been tested when we were dating he said why you think I got something.

    I looked him dead in his eyes and said do you know if you don't have anything? And that was the end of that I will not get into any long term relationship until we both get tested. Even if we both may not have anything. It gives us both a piece of mind.

  • smartchickfl

    Thanks love!!

  • Pamela

    What's wrong with you Yoni???????

  • smartchickfl

    Thanks boo!

  • smartchickfl

    Thanks love!

  • Chaseboogie The Prince

    The first time my boyfriend cheated on me, I was in high school. I had a dream, woke up, and called him. I asked if it was true. He swore up and down it wasn't. Two days later I found out it was. It was with my best friend Mel. She told me. I broke up with him within 30 minutes. The second time someone cheated on me, I knew I needed to move on, but was scared. I was in college. It took me a month before I couldn't handle worrying about where they were, who are you talking to on the phone, where are you going. It was horrible. Plus I was beating myself every moment of every day about being stupid, getting played, taking it like a fool. I moved on and it was the best thing for me. For me, I was scared of change. We lived together.

  • smartchickfl

    Thank you so much!!

  • smartchickfl

    Thanks hon!?

  • smartchickfl

    Thank you!

  • Ms. EJ

    Yes!!!! And, if they hesitate or become angry at the request...RUN! I also will require to be tested together. There are now fake STD results that one can purchase online.

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    I expect a woman to cook every day I’m home rather she works or not keep the house clean and cater to me at all times

  • Jordan’s Memory

    Yep all these people online calling her ugly and on top of that your man cheating with everyone in Atlanta at some point she probably believe she isn't pretty or not enough for someone else. The mere fact she continues to mess up her face and body shows she is not happy with herself. poor thang. she seems like she is a very nice person.

  • smartchickfl

    ??? whatchu know bout us?? Lol.....

  • smartchickfl

    Thank you love!!

  • smartchickfl

    Thanks hon!

  • Yoni7

    I'm good. LOL

  • YellowSauce

    First let me say I'm sorry your brother was shot ... I also want to say I really came in peace even though i'm gonna tell you the truth right now lol but THIS is the kind of thing i'm talking about .... Men cheat and expect women to be faithful to them ... he stayed because of vanity AND had a whole other wife and whether or not he ever fesses up about it she gave him signs about how she felt about their situation ... I know they agreed to it ... People agree to things so they don't lose a person but do you think women that marry into a multiple wives situation stop being human? NOPE they get jealous too and have resentful feelings also ... They are also born into religion that makes them compromise what they really want in life and they feel like they are doing a service to God .... Under these circumstances you are not making sound judgment about your life choices because its under the guise of God. Whether under religious or other circumstances
    MULTIPLE PEOPLE IN ONE RELATIONSHIPS ALWAYS CAUSES PAIN ... and not only that LYING to yourself about if a person loves you or not also ALWAYS causes pain ... The signs are always there and stop waiting for people to confirm with their mouths they almost always never do that UNLESS they hate you ... LOL

  • Guest

    Too many SOUL ties.

  • Kimocha

    Thanks for the advise.

  • Kimocha

    Heyyy twin!

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Maybe I didn't clarify that she wanted another wife!!! She said my brother was too clingy...she was born into the religion but started to act up in the 4th year of their marriage...I had convo's with her all the time while I was in college...she wanted to go to but she had babies back to back and stopped attending... she bragged at the cookout that she wanted another woman in the house to cook & clean...Chile...You cant blame ignorance on religious upbringing narcissism has no religion..

  • Kimocha

    Oh do you?... Well good luck with that, Lol!

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    I meant to say he stayed in the marriage before the shooting because of the kids and her being such a lively woman...after the shooting he was in the hospital under a drugged induced coma for 16 days...once the brain swelling went down they woke him up so assess his brain damage...Thank God he still had his cognitive abilities ...she plead to a lesser charge which gave her probation but the damage was done...We didn't talk for years until I started a job that she used to work at...we had mutual friends and she was telling everyone my brother wasn't crap and he was in jail thats why she divorced him... of course I had to check her and her friends and tell the truth...to this day she doesn't take responsibility for what she brought into the home....

  • Nik

    You just said something right there!

  • millz

    What you saying what you saying?!?!?

  • Nik

    Dayum, my stomach just turned.

  • Nik

    Agreed. I know one right now with a dog. She feels she's too old to be back out there so she settles so that she won't be alone.

  • Guest

    Happy Birthday Aries. Friday is my Day!

  • Yup, I said it

    Right, he is not gonna care that you cheat on him
    Women dont seem to understand that if a man is dogging them out he doesn't care about them. Men can run trains on women and be cool with her afterwards. They have this uncanny ability to have sex with you and have no emotional attachment.

  • Guest

    I don't give a DAMN! I ain't letting no NICCA Dog me! Not happening, life is rewarding and wonderful with, or without a Man.

  • Nik

    I was about to say the same.

  • Guest

    He's not high quality if he is a cheater. Not understanding this logic. I respect people in polygamist relationships because it is what it is! Sneaking around and being deceptive, is a no for me.

  • Trace da Ace

    welp...read the list...and....I canna...I say....CANNA.....stay with a cheating man...bottom line is I know me....I love myself......I respect myself.....and to know that somebody I love and give my all to.....cheated...no maam...we are DONE... period. I cannot look at him knowing that dipped into another woman...every time I see his face...I would want to throw a fire lit brick at his face.....cause all I would see in my mind is him dipping into another woman...and I could not live with that....so this is a great list....but I, speaking for myself....could never continue with this man.

  • Tee Tee

    ???

  • Tee Tee

    What???????????????

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    black women think being submissive is a bad thing that’s why they soooo single

  • Yoni7

    Bay-bee! TRUE STORY, BRO!

  • Tee Tee

    I knew a man like this. He had lots of drug money when he died his families found out he had 3 lives. 1 in Texas, 1 in South Carolina and 1 in Georgia that all produced children.
    The girlfriend in Texas I believe is the one that set him up to be killed smh.
    Shot 6 times in the head and left in the Texas heat on the highway for days after the Texas girlfriend was seen on footage picking him up from the airport.
    Still no arrests! It catches up to them eventually.

  • Yoni7

    I'm *clap* asexual *clap* now *clap* because *clap* the *clap* pickings *clap* out *clap* there *clap* are *clap* NONE! LOL

  • shauna

    And you forgot this reason: The convenient financials, i.e. a woman who marries the man for money and all she wants is everything that comes with it. She doesn't really give a quarter of a hot damn what he does or who he does it with as long as the coins continue to flow and she can have what she wants. My mind immediately goes to Marjorie Harvey and Melania Trump.

  • Yoni7

    WOOOOWWWW!!! How are the kid's?

  • Renee26

    My oldest brother grew up with his brother/cousin and said it was unspoken but everybody knew. The sister named him with my fathers first and middle name but gave the last name of her BD and put the boy off on him.... I'm not sure if the sisters reconciled.

    I just learned about this brother a few years ago and have yet to meet him but they say he looks just like my daddy.

    Both women have passed. The only thing my dad ever said about his 1st wife was "she crazy".... Now we know why mf ?

  • smartchickfl

    Thank you hon! Happy early bday! ??

  • Renee26

    ? thank you!

  • Renee26

    My daddy triflin

  • Renee26

    I believe so... He got young girlfriends. He probably pop them blue pills

  • Renee26

    I am chile

  • Renee26

    Agreed 100%

  • Lady_Elle

    And after you wake up... are you still having these thoughts?
    rofl

  • WinterIsComing

    Woooo chile! I’m not surprised by anything these days. Smh

  • Kimocha

    No, I don't think it's a bad thing to be submissive, depending on the situation... But I'm not gonna be no order taker in a disrespectful way tho and be DEMANDED to do things and talked down to. It's ways to get your woman to do things you want her to do, but being an A$$hole ain't gonna get it done. And being a cheater and a liar ain't gonna get it done either... When you treat a blk woman good and like a queen, MOST will do what they gotta do to keep they man happy, but most blk men like to cheat and lie so... that in itself is a big issue with blk women bc if you lying and cheating on her or HAVE in the past, she's dealing with a lot of pain and anger towards you and might not wanna be submissive to somebody who she can't trust and feel disrespected by!

  • Lady_Elle

    Same with me in my 20s! :-(

  • Yoni7

    And pay out some coins.

  • YellowSauce

    Welp ... I wasn't there lol ... but my point actually was that the entire relationship sounds like it was f$#@!ery and THAT is my point ... She BEEN acting up and HE STAYED ...people always know when they need to go .... could have BEEN gone

  • Ni Ni

    Chile, smh....A Mess!

  • TransMichelle

    You won't really know if you want your "friend" or not anyway until he leaves you alone COMPLETELY. At least for a year or more.

  • Renee26

    Hell yeah... He bonds bishes outta jail after they still from him ?

  • TxCyn

    “Whether” genius. It’s “whether”. How is it you can’t construct a decent sentence but someone has to cook for you everyday ? Clown. Yes your comment hit a nerve so don’t @ me.

  • hottlanta

    Black women have always dated outside of their race. Why r people only tellng black women 2 do that as if we r some poor pitiful créatures waiting on black men2 receive n love us as if they r our only options. A lot of men have that same mentality bcas they r men period n race has nothing 2 do with it. But when a black woman moves on from a black men black women r her worst critics talking bout she cant keep no man whereas the man isnt doing anything 2 keep her. Then they said she didnt wait long enuf after the breakup 2 move on n wanna call her all kinds of whores. Black women got 2 many dayum rules.

  • TxCyn

    Say it louder for the fools in the back sis !

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    The idea is that some people look good "on paper", so to speak (good income/credit/career etc). Pretty simple.

  • ViolettaBliss

    I stayed in a bad marriage for three years because i did not want to fail and divorce felt like failure especially after thinking you married your soul mate and had a long courtship to get to know each other. We had one and a half good years of marriage and then it all went down hill really fast. Although there was never concrete proof of cheating, the signs were there. My spirit knew and I could not stay. Everyone thought I was crazy to leave a man that I loved that showed no outward signs of abusing me, but somehow I just knew and decided to follow my spirit and gut. Needless to say after the divorce the truths starting coming out and I was right!

  • Yoni7

    No way! So he calls the cops on'em, then bonds them out? Ooohhh he a messy ass pimp. LMAO

  • http://www.missjhaneuniverse.com Monday

    You forgot to mention in pictures
    Cardi B & Offset
    Jay Z & Beyonce
    Nicki...well she took a cheater so we'll see
    What the heck most of them in the industry for al the reason and more.
    They also stay for the threesome benefits (not sure why they would stay for the later but they do)

    ONLY MARY J BLIGE SAID "NOT ON MY WATCH.... NOT ON MY WATCH (in my Iyanla voice)

  • NSYDEOUT
  • Gamer?? Chick

    Excellent write up Sandra.

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Im confused or maybe behooved...I live in a city where I dont see too many BWWM relationships...I work with countless sistahs who have literally only touched a man of another race in an emergency or while interviewing for a job...not everyone has that same access as you do...I've been dating outside of my race most of my dating life but that was because I went to schools in my city that were not predominantly any race so it was normal to me...my sistah circle does not agree...they want their prince to be black...so just because you or myself are comfortable doesn't mean black women are...I hear it all the time "I dont think a white or other race man would check for me"...Self- Doubt and just being scared to differ from the norm keep sistahs in a box when it comes to dating...

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Imma try to be nice because you may not be picking up what Im putting down......I think I must have mistyped something in my orginial post....my brother never came back after the shooting he left her and had to rehabilitate himself and he never cheated on her.... Now idk last time I checked you cant slander a person because of their religious beliefs with multiple wives especially if they were both cared for... Now as far as the Fu^^ery IDK who made you mad but stop putting your shit on my comment when you dont know what the hell your saying....sounds like your just disagreeing just cause something hit your spirit in my comment and made you mad... Go to Dr. Phil with your cheating hubby issues Honey FOH

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    My policy have always been when she stop behaving I’m gone

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Honestly... once of them started college last fall the other one is in their sophomore year....the oldest doesn't speak to us at all because her momma has basically brainwashed her...oh and my ex- sister-in-law now has a total of 8 children all by different younger men except for the oldest 2 by my brother...

  • Yoni7

    WOW! How old is SHE?

  • SunRiseBlossom

    I must say this write up is on point Auntie!!!

  • Dontgetdraggedhoe??

    Like i said, ima dir alone. I aint keeping no cheating man period!!!!!!

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    See that’s the problem right there being submissive don’t come with all those stipulations black women need to learn to shut up and behave like a woman. That why one of my son mammy over there by her self now and going insane cause my daughters moms are 20 years younger than her and do everything I tell them to do

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    The ex wife is 38 now but she looks great for her age thats hows she gets the young ones...

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    Y’all women need to go on ahead and submit or you going to grow grey and old by yourself that cookie going to get stale and you have to be able to make up for that

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Thank you, sis!

  • Renee26

    ? chile they get locked up for other stuff

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Thanks sis!

  • http://batman-news.com Roderick2011

    True that.

    Mine should have been castrated because one thing he should not have ever been was a parent.

  • MNjumpoffacliff

    ????????

  • Yoni7

    LOL

  • Mrs. S. O.

    Low self-esteem does not cover that financial reason. There's no amount of esteem that will place money in the bank. You can think highly of yourself and be broke.

  • Kimocha

    That is so great for you and your young lady... and I'm sure that your son's mammy will find a new love one day bc I'm a firm believer that there is someone out there for everyone.... So good luck and God bless!

  • hottlanta

    I have worked for divorce attorneys n seen enuf id channels 2 say dating outside your race 2 b loved by a good man bcas u cant find a good black man is not the answer. It is wrong bcas u r experimenting then time the other male races piss you off what u gonna do start dating n experimenting with women bcas now your mindset is all men r dogs n no good not just black men. Other races prefer 2 date people who look like them n everyone thinks it cool but when black women do the same thing we get accused of staying in a box. U can marry a white man but he is not gonna give up his white privilège for u. He is gonna live it n breath it everyday.

  • Kimocha

    Actually there is nothing wrong with a woman being by herself... Not having a man don't take away a woman's worth or value or anything else, just like if you didn't have a woman.. Not unless you GOTTA have a woman to feel important.

  • Kimocha

    Thanks hun!

  • Kimocha

    Loud and proud!!

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    You know it’s nothing wrong with that at all... but the single women I talk to who are over 40 they really wish they were not single

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Its about love not race!!! Anyone who is dating outside their race should not be because of them being scorned... its about the connection and the ability to find a compatible person....

  • Kimocha

    Yea, that's understandable and I am a rare breed bc I know how to roll solo and be OK ab it... Back in the day I used to really want a man, but when I realized the pickings was so slim to none out there to find a GOOD one, I learned to be happy as a single woman and really don't mind it bc it's very peaceful... Most men seem to bring a lot of pain and drama!... And my peace of mind has been more important to me in my 40's!

  • Kayke

    Sometimes it’s not about more money in the bank it’s about relinquishing the things that cost too much or need dual incomes. Voluntarily repo that BMW and getting a reliable squadda until YOU can do it on your own. It’s moving out the house into a studio apt until YOU can do it on your own. A lot of people self esteem are tied to their materials and will stay in a toxic relationship because they can’t downgrade for a period of time or take a few steps back in order to move forward.

  • PlayerP

    There are so many...I saw this one years ago that made blue...there is another one where a woman said her husband knew from the day he met her he was HIV positive...she said by God's grace she nor her children were infected.

  • PlayerP
  • PlayerP

    Money is just an excuse...if you're unhappy, you will do better

  • PlayerP

    TI said it best...I don't cheat cuz I ain't shit. I cheat cuz YOU ain't shit."
    Classic!

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    You know I felt the same way untill I started to gravitate towards other races it’s a world of difference maybe you should try that just to test the waters

  • Renee26

    Awww I'm sorry... My daddy got issues but he was in all of our lives except for ol boy I have yet to meet.

  • Eileen

    This is an excellent article. every women has to decide for herself how she will handle this very delicate and emotional matter. As friends. family etc. we must tread lightly and not rush to judgement or rescue. It has to be her/his own decision period. only give advice if they want it not because of what you would do if it were you.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    Why can't the story end on a great note?

  • ClaireHuxtable

    Yep. You know.

  • hottlanta

    If u really luv each other u shouldnt b afraid 2 have an open honest discussion about race. If people of the same race can discuss it people of different races should have it as well. Diana ross married 2 men outside of her race n she still ended up being divorce. If marrying white men for long term happiness n stability liz taylor would have not had 2 get married 2 them 8 différent times

  • Ms..N

    Rapid Hiv testing to start can be used at home!!

  • hottlanta

    Even when u get married still get tested during the duration of the marriage.

  • hottlanta

    For years l watched mamahots waiting on my dad 2 b a man n a husband 2 her just made me shake my head. I vowed 2 never b that woman u either with me or u not. Next.

  • Peppermint Patty

    Rubbing hands together I love it when sandra says long suffering

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Thanks, hun. Believe it or not, I was going to use a photo of Monica and Shannon, but then I said that would be mean. ?

  • Malificent

    I love these informational posts Sandra! Keep them coming! Definitely on point!

  • Malificent

    They always are on point! Sandra a guru on these topics!

  • Strappyheels

    Ooh the shade!!! I surprised that burlesque singer’s picture wasn’t used..

    I love the pics

  • Malificent

    That and they love no good ninjas. They scared to be single and worried about how they gonna look to others.

  • ReadingIsFundamental4Real

    nope i left.... next

  • AListDiva29

    Yep! That's why I keep my relationship crap off social media, 50% of these women are faking it for the likes and adoration! Meanwhile they man is humping around and they have no self esteem, sad! We gotta teach our youngin's to not depend on a man, period!

  • Mrs. S. O.

    You said a word there. You're right. On the outside it might not look like an esteem issue but if the money is tied to their self-worth, it is. Let me find out you are Iyanla in SR's comment section lol

  • Patricia

    people always focus on the wives of cheating husbands. its like shes not only responsible for what she does and how she lives, shes responsible for what HE does and how HE lives, and go on and add the kids in there, too. you know everybody blames the mama for every bad ass kid they meet.
    the focus remains and always has been on the wife and her response and recourse and actions before and after affairs. what about the man? why is no one focusing on HIS actions before and after an affair? this is why they do what they do. they are held to zero accountability and responsibility. society teaches its a wifes job to raise him, take care of him, babysit him, and discipline him. is that a man??? it doesnt sound manly to me. people are too busy looking past the men and their behavior to direct all fingerpointing and blame on someone else, anybody else, especially his wife. this is why all the men are sorry as hell.
    id find the reasons cheating men stay with their wives, the woman they obviously love to hate, a bit more intriguing. why are they still there???

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    Tiny was sooo cute.. But that look like Bernice Burgos in the back??

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    Lol no she doesnt. But she has a hideous tattoo on her belly

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